Usagi

The phone calls had been difficult, but necessary. Each of my friends piled into Makoto's apartment and I tried to make them understand what had happened, all the while Minako stood firmly by my side.

Not everyone was as understanding. Rei, very characteristically, chided me for my irresponsibility in letting Pitre near my crystal and ground her teeth against the fact that I had done what I had done with Dimande. Makoto was more heartbroken than anything. True love, she said, was so rare. It was hard for her to grasp that mine was possibly over.

Ami-as always-was the most clinical about it all. Arousal is a natural thing, she explained, and statistically most people have more than one partner in their adult life. She couldn't fault me for that.

At the end of the day, it was refreshing. For so long, I had let anger simmer in my heart toward them. With all of us together again, it felt selfish to needlessly hold onto it. Growing up requires the understanding that people can change for better or for worse, and that moving in the direction that best suits you doesn't always spell a death sentence for the relationships you've fostered along the way. True friends understand that—I was beginning to understand that.

So we suspended talk of Pitre. Instead we discussed our lives, our dreams and passions. We rejoiced in each other's successes, blushed over each other's crushes, swiped through pictures on each other's phones of new friends and far off places. Maybe a few days ago I would've been bitter to see that my friends had changed so much, but it was hard to be angry when I had changed, too.

By the time I left, it was dusk. My belly was full of delicious food and my heart was filled with the warmth of being in the company of good friends. A brilliant pink line streaked the dark purple sky and I could see the stars starting to poke out on the horizon. People moved by me in a shuffle and as the crowds moved down the street in a constant river of bodies, I decided to take a detour.

The cement path that led up to Tokyo Tower was one I had taken so many times before, however in the past few days, it had brought an entirely new significance. It was where Dimande had taken me from this world.

Gently, I brought my fingers to my chest to touch my crystal. After what happened last time, it was never going to leave my body again. I glowed against my chest and puffed out a small circle of warmth right above my sternum.

I still didn't know what I was going to do about Dimande. Before I left, he had offered me a place in the Black Moon Clan. Passion was driving me toward him—the unsinkable feeling that we were two currents pushing toward one another, creating sparks that gave way to a fire—and no matter how hard I tried to reason against it, I couldn't stop from wanting him.

On the other hand was the rage, knowing that he had almost sold me to a devil so he could have his way. If he truly loved me, would he have been so quick to sign my death warrant? Hate is so close to love, sometimes. Both feel like fires burning through you, giving heat and life and yet destroying whatever is in their wake. It's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

Behind me, I heard a pop. Quickly, I turned around, but there was nothing there. A metallic smell filled my nose and immediately I knew what it was: Magic. My eyes scanned the park but there was nothing there, just the low light of the lamps coming on and the sway of the trees in the distance.

"Hello?" I called out. No one answered.

I moved slowly up the path that snaked around the tower and back out to the road, heading closer to the swath of wood Dimande and I had been attacked once before. I hustled, my head craning from left to right to see if anything stood out. I almost made it to the larger clearing before I heard the scrape of a claw on the cement a few feet behind me.

Before I turned, I heard it snarl. A hellhound.

"Moon prism power!" I ripped my crystal from my chest and transformed, turning midair to face the beast. It was bigger than the last two I had fought—nearly 8 feet tall—and its broad body was sturdy and strong.

I swallowed hard. It's lips curled over its teeth and trembled as it let out a low growl.

"I'm warning you," my voice was shaky. "I will kill you. I'm not afraid of you."

It curved its back like it was preparing to lunge and I did the first thing I thought to do: Run. As I took off down the path, the beast's claws galloped behind me and from its snout let out a guttural roar that shook my bones. I had to keep my mind on straight before it—

The tip of its claw pierced my back, and its pressure jostled me so much I tripped and fell forward. My knees scraped against the concrete and when I fell I made a loud thud, my wrists catching the ground before the rest of my body, thankfully sparing my face.

I rolled and tried to get back on my feet, but the pain aching through my bones was intense. I crawled away from it onto the grass and it stalked forward, its red eyes glowing. Fear pulsated through me and I knew I had to do something, otherwise this beast's deadly desire would be realized.

Every inch I took backward, it took one to meet me. Despite it being a hideous creature—one that did not emote anything other than unbridled bloodlust—it looked as though it was smiling, excited to rip into my skin. It was too early to die.

I popped up and brought my hands to my tiara. I had to fight.

"Moon tiara magic!"

It cascaded across the air, glowing brilliantly and slicing the creature directly on the forearm, causing it to yelp in pain. The tiara swung around and came back into my hand. I had managed to connect, but that alone wasn't going to disarm the hellhound. I sent it back once more, aiming for the other arm, and cut much deeper this time.

Black, inky blood oozed out and trickled down its arms. It slumped forward in pain and snapped its jaws. Its spine constricted and its knees locked, and as instantly as my tiara had sliced it, it was lunging back once more. This time I managed to leap out of the way, but it grabbed my foot and twisted me midair.

I barely had time to conjure my scepter, and even then, I was too close to it to get a good shot off. So I jammed my leg still in its grip and aimed my foot straight toward its face, cracking my heel against the beast's snout. It let out a sickening cry. When it let go, it collapsed and brought me to the ground with it, but I refused to be pinned. My foot was now free of its clutches and I used as much force as I could to hit it again.

If I could put a few more feet between us, I knew I could do some damage. I saw my opening, got to my feet and aimed.

"Starlight honeymoon therapy kiss!"

The beam burst out and penetrated the hellhound's skin, illuminating the sheets of black blood that had formed from its face and arms. It disintegrated into thin air as the light swirled around it. I let out a deep sigh of relief but my victory was short lived. Behind me, I heard more growls and snarls.

Turning slowly I braced myself for another monster, knowing I could defeat it if I could disarm it for just a few seconds. That was when I saw there were two of them.

I couldn't outrun them. There was no chance. I would have to fight, but they were so large and powerful. Fighting just one had been a difficult enough task, I wasn't sure I could handle two. My fingers gripped tightly around my scepter and I prepared myself for battle. At the very least I knew I could defeat one, and maybe if I could hold off the other long enough, I would have time to take care of them both and remain unscathed.

It seemed highly unlikely.

Extending my arm, I pointed to the monster on the right, its jaw now clicking away and its black tongue snaking over its lips.

"Starlight.."

They both inched forward, their claws outstretched.

"Honeymoon…"

Animals trapped in a cage, rumbling against their bars.

"Therapy…"

Snarling, chomping at the bit.

A brilliant light enveloped them from behind. It exploded, creating a halo around the creatures and casting a long silhouette that inched toward me on the grass. I heard them howl and scream underneath the light before disintegrating into dust and blowing off in the wind. The power surging through my scepter was vibrating in my hand and I held it in place, waiting to see who was on the other end of that power.

As the glow dissipated, I could see the outline of a man, and as the last bit of light faded into the blackness of night, a pair of shining purple eyes that were all too familiar met mine.

Dimande.

"Stay right there!" I shouted. He had not moved, nor had he even made an attempt, but I needed him to know I was not unwilling to strike. "Don't come any closer!"

He raised his hands to show he meant peace. His eyes curved sympathetically and his face was flushed.

"Usagi, I am not here to hurt you."

Hearing his voice sent jolts of emotion through me. I was sad and angry. I was hurt and confused. But mostly I felt the overwhelming pull of desire. I hated myself for believing Pitre's lie, for helping evil flourish, but I hated myself even more for still loving Dimande so badly despite his betrayal. A step closer and I wouldn't have been able to stop from running to him and throwing myself into his arms.

Hot tears welled in my eyes. So many had played me for a fool, was I going to let him do it again?

"I don't want you to come near me," I hissed.

"We need to talk, Usagi." His voice was small. "I need to explain what happened."

"And why should I believe it?" A cry ripped from my throat. His chest rose and his eyes closed. My words had stung.

"You have every right to be angry with me," he said. "I just need you to understand a few things."

The scepter pulsed. It would be so easy to just end it all here and send Dimande back to the River where he belonged. Inside my jaw my teeth clenched and ground back on one another and my head was screaming in pain. His mere presence made my body lock up and all the emotions I battled were swirling freely.

I had thrown so much away to be with him, and for what? To be tracked down in a park by hellhounds or to be at the center of an evil wizard's crosshairs? And yet, looking at him, seeing the agony in his face, it was like being splintered into so many directions I was unsure I'd ever find all the pieces again.

"Please," he begged. "I promise I just want to talk."

I let in a deep breath and lowered my scepter slightly. His hands still up in the air, he gingerly walked toward me until I could see the grooves on his forehead and the paleness of his skin. He was stressed.

"You wanted to talk," I said coldly. "So talk."

"I know what you must think," he said.

"You don't know anything about me."

"That's not true." He sounded defeated.

"Was that your plan all along?" I hissed. "To seduce me and make me feel like you cared about me when all you wanted me for was my crystal."

His silence was deafening. My stomach twisted.

"I won't lie to you and say I didn't want your crystal, I did. I had no intention of trying to get you to…" he paused, considering what to say. "I had no intention of seducing you to get it from you—or being intimate with you, if I'm being honest. Pitre told me a series of half truths that I should've known better than to believe and by the time I started developing feelings for you the wheels were already in motion."

"So that is supposed to make it better?"

"No," he said quickly. "What I did was wrong. I should've told you that I didn't trust Pitre the moment things changed between us."

"But if they hadn't, you would've let him take me? You would've let me die?"

He was silent again, his jaw clicking like he was trying to find the right words to say. His eyes evaded mine and he sheepishly looked toward the ground.

"So it's true then?" I asked. "That's what you would've done?"

"What do you want me to say, Usagi?" Dimande snapped his head up and took a step toward me. "What was I supposed to do? He was offering me something that I had wanted for the entirety of my life!"

"Oh?" I snapped. "And what about me, Dimande? What about the life I had and the destiny I was supposed to fill? Do you think you can just ruin me and toss those things aside? That your life and dreams are the only ones that matter?"

"No!" He shouted, his voice frantic. "Usagi, you don't understand. I did what I had to do. And you—you weren't happy living your life. I didn't do or say anything to stoke that fire. You were already ablaze when I took you. The only thing I did was let you burn."

"You knew what Pitre wanted." I wanted to reach out and strangle him. I wanted to fight him and make him bleed, feel the hurt that I was feeling right in that very moment. "You always knew what he intended to do. Even if you didn't know every single detail, you knew that he was evil and that he was going to kill me."

"I didn't know."

"But you suspected."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Don't lie to me."

The pain was palpable. My words cut him like a blade. His eyes ebbed and I swore I could see tears forming, but I prayed that he wouldn't cry. As mad as I was—as much as I wanted him to pay for what he had done—I still loved him, didn't I? I had told Minako as much the previous day. Mamoru's touch was cold, the world was dim. My rage was cemented in part by his deception, but more so the fact that if it was true, he would never be mine.

Maybe he never was.

"I have lived a life full of pain, Usagi." He sounded so sure. So strong. "I have not had a single day of peace from the moment I took my first breath. That is, until the day I took you from this very park. When I took you I had agreed to a plan that would've reunited my family and given us a chance to actually be happy, to end our struggle, but I met you and that all changed.

"You're right, I shouldn't have trusted Pitre and I should've known his plan was too good to be true. But I have been a man who has searched my entire life for just a moment of lasting love, and the closest thing I've ever had to that was with my brother and my closest friends-the people that I sent to Hell."

Tears streamed down from his face. Underneath the weight of what he had done, he fragmented into millions of tiny pieces right in front of my eyes. This wasn't a lie. This was the truth. Anyone looking at his brokenness, at his agony and suffering, could see he was trying so hard and falling short.

"And the moment I saw you again and you were in my castle, and we were talking about life and I could see the hope you had in your eyes, it was all I could do to stop myself from loving you all over again," he pleaded. "Usagi, betraying you is the cruelest offence I could've done to the both of us, and I will not sleep another night or eat another morsel if that's what it takes for things to be right between us."

"I want to believe you," I whispered. "But it's too late for that. Pitre's already attacking, he's already ripping my world apart."

"Your life was already crumbling." He stepped forward and grabbed my hands, pressing them close to his chest. "I can offer you so much more than anything he ever could. I would worship you, I would never let a day go by where you didn't feel wholly and irrevocably loved. I will grovel at your feet, beg for you night and day, and it would still not be enough to show you how much I love you."

"Love me?"

"Yes, Usagi. What I did was wrong, but if I have to spend the entirety of my life making it up to you, I will gladly do it. I swear it. Together we can fight him and I will protect you."

His Adam's apple constricted and his lips flushed. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get my head to quiet. Everything was pulling me in so many different directions and I just wanted it all to stop. I loved Mamoru and Dimande. I wanted to go with him and save my world. How can you want two things so badly that sit on such opposite ends of a spectrum?

"Dimande…" His purple eyes were luminous, flecks of pink and amber swimming around a sea of violet. We were so close now. "Please…"

"I love you Usagi," he said quietly. "Tell me what I can do to prove that to you."

He leaned in and our lips met. A man starved. A woman ripe and ready to be picked from the vine. Our worlds colliding with uncontrollable force.