Author's Note: I can't believe it's over! Thanks for coming on this wild ride with me. I cannot say enough how much I've loved all your comments. Hopefully it scratched an itch for you! This has been a labor of love and I've enjoyed every minute :) If you want another enemies to lovers (no smut tho sorry!) check out my new fic Dark Matter. It's Dark Endymion x Usagi without all that noncon stuff :) :)
Thank you thank you thank you!
Usagi
It happened in slow motion. I hadn't even realized he collided with me until I skidded away, and as he replaced me in Pitre's path, my light was no longer there to protect him. In a quick one-two, Pitre struck Dimande and Dimande struck right back, but the wizard was too strong. Pitre's fingers dangled out from Dimande's back and only receded when black lightning pulsed through his core.
Dimande fell to the ground, his body like lead, and even though I was on my side, I scrambled across the floor to get to him. By the time I pulled his head into my lap, he had stopped breathing. Blood coated his entire front and I tried calling out to him, but he lay motionless in my arms.
"Dimande!" I shook him slightly, crimson red running out of the massive hole left by Pitre's hand. "Dimande!"
"He's dead." Saturn stood next to me, rotating her gaze from Dimande to Pitre, still collapsed in the center of the ring. "He's gone, Usagi."
A river of tears poured out. Just moments ago–literally seconds–he was alive. His heart was beating in his chest, his eyes full and bright, and then when he saw Pitre starting to crack my power, he launched himself to save me. Dimande believed he was evil, but no man so heartless would sacrifice himself for anyone else.
This was the Dimande I had fallen in love with. Not the one I had met so many years ago–the man who was fighting against his wicked ways. This Dimande was kind. This Dimande was good. He trailed kisses down my skin, told me of his dreams, promised me the sun and the moon and the stars. Pain bubbled up and gripped my throat and I felt my head go light. This wasn't real. It couldn't be.
Color drained from his face. Soon the other scouts were getting up, brushing themselves off and accessing their damage. When Dimande hit Pitre with his magic, the intense howl of wind came to a standstill. Now, with the light unobscured and the chaos coming to a complete halt, it was clear to see the scouts had fought a tough battle. Mamoru, too, had managed to prop up, blood staining his shirt as well. If I hadn't gotten here when I did, they might have perished.
"We have to get out of here." Saturn placed her hand on my shoulder. "And we need to do it soon."
"I can't leave him here." My voice was so small. "Not like this."
"Pitre said that when he dies, this whole place will self-destruct." Her grip got tighter. "If we wait too long, we will miss our chance of traveling to a safe dimension."
"We can go now," Pluto chimed in from somewhere behind me. "The conditions are still good."
I traced a line down Dimande's face. He was so pale. Part of me wanted to scream. How could he do this to me? How could he leave me right when we were about to get our happy ending? But then maybe he saw what was becoming more clear to me, too. No matter how badly I loved him, there was no way I could ever leave my life on Earth. The Black Moon Clan needed to start over, and they needed to do it without me.
But they needed him. And, selfishly, I still needed him, too.
A sob ripped from my throat and I drove my forehead to touch his. Heavy tears fell onto his cheek and I sat in silent prayer that I might see the color of his eyes once more. Ragged footsteps came closer and followed by an audible gasp. Looking up, it was Saphir.
"Saphir," I cried. "I'm so sorry."
If I was broken inside, Saphir had been shattered completely. His eyes adjusted first to what he was seeing, then as realization hit, he nearly fell to his knees. Rubeus and Esmeraude rushed to him, holding him but by his arms, but below his feet slid uncontrollably.
"Saphir!" Rubeus said in shock.
He collapsed on his knees and crawled to us. When he was finally close enough, he hovered his hands over his brother's dead body, wondering whether he could–or would–touch. Horror shot through him as he realized there was no light in his brother anymore, that he would not be afforded the chance to say goodbye one last time.
"Dimande?" He whispered hoarsely. It was followed by silence.
"He's gone, Saphir." Rubeus came up behind Saphir. "He died for us."
Pain rippled across Saphir's face. "Brother." He grabbed Dimande's palm and closed his hand around it. "Brother."
"I know this is a difficult time, but we have to leave and we have to leave soon," Saturn said gently, more to me than to Saphir. "I do not know how long Pitre's spell can last without him."
A groan from the ring snapped all of our attention away from Dimande. Pitre was still in the spot he collapsed, but he was no longer still. Arms outstretched by his sides, he seemed to be pushing up, as if he was trying to get on his side. But he was so badly wounded, all he could do was struggle against the floor.
Saturn released her grip on me and sprang forward, bridging the gap between Pitre and me. We all waited in confused desperation. How could Pitre survive such a strong attack right to the chest? After everything, after Dimande's ultimate sacrifice, it appeared it didn't matter.
Shock gave way to anger. All of this because Pitre wanted to paint me as his villain. His story was tragic, yes, but the wounds of the past didn't give him a right to destroy our bright futures. All of the fear I harbored for him evaporated in my sea of pain. He was a liar, a deceiver and a demon that needed to go back to Hell.
I let Dimande's head slip from my lap and stood up, and I walked right past Sailor Saturn.
"What are you doing?" Her fear was palpable.
"He's taken enough from us and this ends here."
As my boots tread along the circus ring, Pitre's eyes shifted to me. Still unable to stand, he instead writhed on the floor. At first, I thought it might be to try and run from me, it was only when I got close enough to hear him chuckling under his breath that I realized it was something else entirely. His chest was heaving because he was laughing.
"Oh, Usagi," he croaked. The wind had been knocked out of his lungs and he struggled for air. "He really did love you, that fool."
"He wasn't a fool, Pitre." I hated him with every fiber of my being.
"But my dear, he was." With the loss of his power, Pitre reverted back to the man I first met. Somewhat frail, curly dark hair, gaunt face with kind eyes. "I knew that when I met him in the River."
Is that where Dimande was now? Floating in the river, waiting for his final call.
"You did all of this and for what?" A cry caught in my throat. "For revenge?"
A sickening smile slid across his face. "I wanted you to feel the pain that I felt."
Taking Dimande did make me feel pain like that. I wanted to make him suffer in response. Everything shouted at me to dive into darkness, to lash out and hurt Pitre the way he was hurting me, but that would make me just as evil. Hatred is like venom bleeding into soft skin: It only takes one bite to contaminate the soul, and the antidote comes at such a cost.
Dimande was proof of that. Pitre was proof of that. What would I become if I decided to turn the knife one notch more? I was Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity. I was good. No matter how hard I wanted to kick a man already down, I couldn't stoop to his level.
"You succeeded in that Pitre," I said as calmly as I could. "You wanted to hurt me and you did. But what now? What was it worth if it means you nearly died doing it?"
He laughed again, hollow and strained. "Is this your soliloquy on love and justice? On how I can change? Are you so stupid to believe that underneath all of this, after all of the things I've done, I'm somehow redeemable? Nehelenia wanted this for me. This is what she planned for me all along. And yet you still opine about what could be. I was destined to kill you and I was so close."
A single tear slid down his cheek, but his cackling remained. He wasn't wrong. A soul this dark and twisted wanted to be that way.
"It's too late for you to change, Pitre." I said. "But change is possible. Dimande taught me that."
"I know change is possible, Usagi." His smile began to fade. "I know because I was once good and now I am a monster, a monster who was made by circumstance beyond my control. I do not regret what I have done. So you can either kill me now or you can leave me to die alone, but either way, my soul died years ago under the power of the witch. She already beat you to that."
It was a tempting offer–to leave him there, a wounded animal waiting for the shroud of darkness to bring him back to the River–but I couldn't. Instead I conjured my scepter, pointed it at Pitre's chest and cast a spell of my own. Pitre did have a soul. Nehelenia robbed him of many things but underneath this cruel exterior was someone longing for peace.
"Moon Healing Escalation!"
A gentle light glowed and Pitre looked at me. He shifted between confusion and gratefulness as my power covered him in a blanket of healing energy. His body regained control, and he floated into the sky, surrounded by dots of yellow and pink. Each stuck to his skin and a smile formed across his face. As he evaporated into the air–back to the River–a smile formed across his face.
"Mother…" Tears poured down his face.
I could've given him a violent end. I could've let his blood coat the ring as revenge for what he did to Dimande and my friends. But I didn't want to. After all he had done, I knew the only thing Pitre truly desired was an ounce of kindness and I could give him that with a dignified death. He didn't deserve it, but then again he didn't deserve what Nehelenia had done to him either. He made monsters out of everyone but me. I had to show him he was wrong.
"Mother…" he cried. "Mother…"
He vanished into the light and I felt my hatred toward him fade, too.
In the blink of an eye, days had passed. Our journey home was short and I braced myself to see the bloodshed left in the hellhounds' wake, instead we were greeted by a glistening blue sky and a perfectly sunny day. People milled about on the sidewalks peacefully without a care in the world.
We never did find out whether Pitre's magic merely made the horrific scene an illusion or if once he left this place, his damage was reverted by the power of good that sent him away. Maybe as he floated up to his death, his last attempt at saving his soul was to cast a spell that erased all the awful things he had done.
I liked to think it was the latter, that maybe my shred of kindness proved to him that the world was not so awful, that people were capable of good things.
Saphir, Esmeraude and Rubeus came with us to Earth. Even after Pitre's death, the magic he used to revive them remained. With the help of Sailor Pluto, they were off to return to the future they once belonged to, in hopes they might be able to reunite some members of the Black Moon Clan. Before he left, Saphir grabbed my hands and promised me he would only do good.
They took Dimande with them. His lifeless body was unrecognizable from the man I knew. Saphir promised to bury him at the top of a hill underneath a rolling sky.
"Thank you for loving my brother," he said as he placed a kiss on my cheek. "I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you did."
I called my boss at the comic store, who promptly fired me officially for missing so much work, but that didn't really upset me. My time in Pitre's castle had forced me to consider what it was in life I truly wanted to do. Even if I wasn't sure, wasting my days behind the counter with comic books clearly wasn't fulfilling.
After taking one of every pamphlet at the nearby junior college, hoping one major might spark my interest. I found myself strolling along the park slowly, watching the blades of grass dance in the wind. My friends had departed to their respective homes, but each promised they would call. Makoto invited me to her new shop several times to try pastries and Minako came over just to chat. Rei called at the oddest hours and in true Ami fashion, she sent me a calendar invite for a weekly chat.
And Mamoru was trying harder than ever to win me back. Bouquets of roses showed up at my door adorned with cards expressing his undying love. Dad asked what Mamo did to be in the dog house so badly.
I would forgive him–I did forgive him–but all wounds take time to heal. He was my soulmate and I knew that deep down, still I fought against the taste of bitterness only to be reminded of those final few moments with Pitre. I told him we're all capable of change and I meant it. Mamoru was putting in the work to be that change and I wanted to open my heart to listen.
One night, we sat in his living room drinking wine and talking like old times when he kissed me deeply and tenderly, with such gentle passion it felt like a fire burning in my belly. It was like the first time Dimande kissed me. I thought about him every day, even though I tried to stuff him deep, deep down. There were little things that constantly reminded me of him.
I broke our kiss and felt guilty. I shouldn't be thinking of another man while kissing Mamoru.
"What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes full of sincerity.
"I…" I struggled for the right thing to say. "I want you to know that I did love Dimande, and that I miss him a lot."
Mamoru swallowed hard before slowly nodding his head.
"I love you, I do," I quickly followed. "I will always love you, but I need you to know what he meant to me, just in case I get a little sad about it."
Mamo continued to nod before craning his head to the window. Pensively, he studied the lights of the city. "I understand," he said softly. "He meant a lot to you, and I can respect that."
An awkward silence passed between us before he pointed his finger out the window.
"Look there–do you see?"
Just at that moment a shooting star flew across the night's sky. It was brilliant. I hadn't seen one in so long.
"A shooting star is beautiful, even if it doesn't last forever." He grabbed my waist and pulled me in close. "And it doesn't make any of the stars in the sky look less vibrant. It's special in its own way. Just like he was to you."
Maybe that star was his way of saying goodbye. Maybe he died because he knew my heart would always be with Mamoru even if my soul felt aflame when I was with him. All I knew was that Dimande was not a monster, he was a man and I really, truly loved him. He forced me to look for the light inside myself so that I might be able to find it in others.
And that love and light showed me that everyone deserves a second chance.
I gently placed my head on Mamoru's shoulder, closed my eyes and smiled.