Disclaimer: I don't own Riviera or anything in it.

Author's notes: I hoped to make this chapter longer, but then I'll have to work 3 times as long on it. I have also got some exams next week so it would have taken even longer. I'm planning on speading things up a litlle, but it isn't really happening in this chapter. I promise I'll make the next chapter a bit faster in storyline, so you won't get bored.

Inner Fears

Chapter 4

Cold.

Silent.

Black.

…This was death, probably.

"You're not dead yet. There is still hope for you, a chance to live."

A chance… to live?

"Yes, take it, fight!"

…Why should I?

"What!"

Why should I fight? I am weak and useless… Nobody needs me…

"That's what you think. The truth, however, is that there are a lot of people out there who care about you, who need you, who believe in you!"

…Name one.

"How about Cierra?"

C-Cierra? Why… would she need… me?

"You love her, and she loves you. However, you do not see that, and deny yourself that by thinking that she sees you only as a friend, a child, and you think yourself unworthy of her, of everything!"

Are… Are you sure that she loves me?

"No, unfortunately I am not one hundred percent sure… But neither will you if you don't live and confess your feelings for her!"

I-I can't… I've disappointed Ledah, the look on his face proved that to me… I don't have the right to live…

"…How can you believe such nonsense for even a second? Search your heart. You know that Ledah would never be disappointed in you; he sacrificed his life for you. Was he ever disappointed in you, even if you failed at something?"

…No… But his face?

"Do you really think that was Ledah? In a way it was Ledah, but it wasn't the real one. What you saw was your minds image of how you think that Ledah would think and look at you now."

But I don't understand. If that wasn't Ledah, then who-

"And you never will if you don't start to fight! You must fight and search for the answers, only then you become whole again…"

Whole?

"…Time is running out."

Running… out?

"Yeah… So start fighting, damn it! If not for your own sake, then do it for the sake of others!"

Fight… I need to… fight… I need to fight… I NEED TO FIGHT!

There was a bright flash of light.

"Don't be afraid of your doubts, Ein!"

Ein's eyes regained their focus.

He didn't think about what he doing, he acted only on his instincts. All panic had disappeared from his mind. There was only the irresistible, undeniable will to fight. Adrenaline was raging throughout his body, giving him new strength.

The Grim Angel tried to push himself up, but even with his new strength, it wasn't enough. His hands shot to the back of his head, where the hand that pushing him down was, and grabbed it. He tried prying it off, but to no avail.

Then it occurred to him that his legs were free and unrestrained. With all his gathered strength, Ein kicked up backwards.

The angel felt his boot make contact with something for a second, but it was gone the next, and so was the hand.

He, almost literally, threw himself out of the water, onto the dry, hard, dirty earth. Ein rolled onto his stomach, then lifted himself a small distance from the ground, and began to puke out everything that had gotten in.

After, what seemed, an eternity of puking, a hard coughing and panting Ein, looked around himself.

There was no one, but, subconsciously, he had expected as much. The Grim Angel gathered his sword, Einherjar, that was lying on the ground nearby, and slowly got up. Thanks to his still increased adrenaline level, he felt no pain fro his wounds, but he knew that would not last long…

Everything that had happened in the past hours…

…The pain.

The fear…

…The doubts.

They all seemed so distant now…

Ein didn't know where this sudden, raw will to fight came from. He remembered having some sort of conversation with a voice inside his head, but that was the only thing he remembered of it. It was blurry all very blurry…

…Was he going insane?

A voice inside ones head could usually mean only two things: Someone had been talking to him telepathically, or he was becoming insane…

Unfortunately, for him, it seemed that, that at the moment, the second one was more likely then the first.

But had no time to think about that now. It was clear that the Grim Angel's attacker had left the area. He sighed, slightly relieved at that fact. Ein gathered some sticks, and made a small fire for his clothes to dry over. After that, he seated himself on a rather large rock. He took out some bread from his backpack and started eating, while thinking some things over.

It was strange…

For the past day, or so, he had been tortured by his own doubts, fear and thoughts. They were like loud screams inside his head, inside his soul, inside his very being… Now they only like faint whispers in the wind, as if a mental barrier had been erected between him and the screams… Had he learned to suppress it to some level? The doubts and fear were still there, but the absolute control they had over him was gone, for now at least.

This was an opportunity, and Ein had to use it.

He had to use it to destroy the evil that was haunting him, the evil that was lurking inside this forest. Even it was indeed the incarnation of fear, he had to face it. If he didn't, he could as well die right here. Killing it would also be the first step to becoming worthy… If he could kill that which so many other warriors, who were much braver then him, could not, then he will have proved to himself that he is strong enough. Ein had told himself that was not strong enough to save, but by killing this beast, he would have proved to himself that he could save. By killing this monster, he will save many innocent lives. The young angel swore to himself, for the last time, that he would not run away anymore. This time he would not break that oath.

It had to stop.

It had to end.

Ein was going to get rid of all the doubts and fear he had, once and for all. He was going to finally search for the answers… It was the only way…

The Grim Angel stood up, with some regained confidence. The pain of his wounds had returned, but he ignored them as much as possible. He took his, now, dry clothes and put them on. After putting out the fire, he walked back into the forest. His mission was clear.

The young angel didn't know where he was or where he was going. He let his instincts guide him. That was something he had not done in a very long time. For the past two years, he did not listen to his instincts, always thinking about every action, before he made one, never trusting what his instincts told him… Well except for when they told him that he was in danger. Now was the time to regain the trust he had lost.

After, about, an hour and a half, he stumbled across a very bizarre sight. It seemed almost as some sort of border. On one side, where he was standing, there was the rich, healthy, green forest, and on the other was a dead wasteland, filled with completely black, dead, charcoaled trees and scorched earth. It seemed to be several square kilometers long.

The sight made Ein feel uneasy.

What could have happened here? Was this the work of that evil being?

"Well… I'll find out the answer soon enough," the angel said to himself and entered the wasteland.

A small while later, the Grim Angel found the corpse of a fellow angel. The body was in sitting position against a dead tree. Judging by his clothing, or what was left of it, it was a mercenary.

He looked horrible. Almost half of his flesh had been ripped from his head, exposing the white skull, his clothes were shred to pieces, a whole arm and foot were missing, his torso had been ripped open, some of the organs hanging out, and there was blood everywhere.

Ein was having a hard time not having to puke, again. A look of complete horror was on the body's face, the eyes and mouth wide open. The angel did not dare to think about what could have happened to him.

A quiver, with some arrows in it, and a blood-drenched bow lay beside the body. The grim angel kneeled down and closed the eyes of the corpse. Then he whispered a small prayer in the sacred language of Asgard.

"May your soul find peace in the heavenly plains," he said quietly. "And please forgive me. I can't bury your body now, there is still much that needs to be done. The evil has to be vanquished. I am also sorry for taking your bow, but I promise you that I put it to good use. Once this is done, I will send someone to retrieve your body and bring it back to your loved ones, so that you may have a proper burial."

Ein stood up, taking the bow and quiver and strapped them to his back. Then he drew an invisible cross with his hand, like he used to do, after vanquishing one or multiple demons. It was a silent plea to Gods for forgiveness. Forgiveness for both the demons and himself. For the demon to be forgiven for his sins in the afterlife, and for Ein to be forgiven for taking a life, even if it was in the name of peace or the Gods themselves... In this case, Ein plead for forgiveness for not being able to bury the deceased angel before him.

"I'm sorry..."