Something Akin to Normal

"She's cute."

Tom caught himself just before he jumped, startled by the unexpected voice. He had been bent over the table, scanning a map of Boston and marking the spots that Liz had mentioned that she wanted to see. He'd gotten a call from a headmaster of a school there and he'd agreed to meet with him about a teaching job. Nothing about the call had sounded like a coded message, so when Liz had wanted to go with him and make a weekend out of it, he hadn't bothered finding a reason to say no. He had found that he enjoyed spending time with her - something strange to a man that could count the number of real emotional connections he had made over the course of his life on one hand - and had become more comfortable than he likely should have in his life with her.

Especially for a spy working two conflicting assignments.

Especially for a man that was only meant to pretend to love her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snapped to cover the fact he hadn't heard Gina approach. He was becoming far too comfortable.

Gina Zanetakos leaned back in the chair behind him that she had taken a seat in, never turning to look at him as she loudly popped a bubble of the gum she was chewing on. "I need your help on something. You took the train up, didn't you?"

"Because balancing two jobs isn't enough?"

"Don't bitch at me. It's not my fault you brought her."

"Not my fault you didn't give any warning. You are aware that I do actually teach, right?" This could have been a real interview. He'd hoped it was. Part of him wanted to put some space between them and New York.

Gina snorted a laugh. "As exciting as all that is, I have something a bit more important. Angel Station Cafe first thing tomorrow."

Tom kicked himself. Nothing good could come of this. "I'm not armed," he said in a quiet voice. He'd come to Boston with his wife. What did a fourth grade teacher need with a gun, anyway? It was absurd of her to think he'd risk breaking cover without warning.

"You don't need to be."

He turned, ready to lay into her, but she was gone, slipping into a crowded street and Tom sighed, Nothing good could come of this. He was on a deep cover assignment, which he would have thought meant no contact. Every other assignment had meant that. It did an operative little good to have to come up with a cover story if their mark saw the person making contact. A pretty blonde that was determined to talk to Tom would set his wife on edge.

"So what do we have planned?"

Tom blinked as Liz slid into the chair opposite of him, her smile easy and carefree. She had seen some terrible things, it was true, but in the grand scheme of things she was naive. It was one of the many things he had expected to irritate him over time, but instead he had come to appreciate. Liz knew enough to know the world could be a dark place, but had been cared enough for in her younger years that she had muddled through her own dark times to emerge on the other side with a light that had somehow managed to work its way towards even him. He cared about her, and it didn't matter how often he argued with himself or how many excuses that he hid behind for it, the truth was there. Quiet and certain in his own mind, but he'd be damned if Gina took even a suspicion back to Bill.

Was this a test? Was Bill worried he'd gotten in too deep? He was doing his job and protecting the girl, just as he was being paid to do. Bill had never liked the idea of marrying her, he knew, but he'd used Berlin's orders had been to hold in his position to cover himself in that. He was doing the jobs he'd been hired to do, and there was no reason that they should question anything about that.

"Tom?"

Tom blinked, brought forcefully out of his thoughts by the questioning voice and gentle hand that was laid against his own. He immediately lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Apparently I didn't get enough sleep last night. Sorry about that."

"That wasn't a tired face," Liz pressed. "That was a worried face."

Tom chuckled, never releasing her hand. "Was it?"

"You nervous about the interview tomorrow morning?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted softly. It was strange, but there were times when, though they were talking about two different things, he could still tell her things he wouldn't have dared tell anyone else. He was nervous that he'd been caught unaware. He was nervous that he was slipping. He was nervous that she would get hurt because of it. The strange thing was, Tom had never been the nervous type.

Liz squeezed his hand. "You're going to do great. He called you out of nowhere, right? That must mean he saw something in your resume that he liked."

"I love you, you know that?" he whispered and peered at her over his glasses as he kissed her knuckles again, gaze locked with hers.

"I would hope do. You married me," she teased. "Now, no more worrying. Today is our day. Where are you thinking about going?"

Tom's eyes flickered back down to the map he'd been studying before Gina arrived. He had a whole day to enjoy before he had to work. He had never been a worrier, particularly, and there was no reason this should spark it in him now. He had everything under control.

"Definitely the bay. You want to walk the trail? See all the sites?"

"And maybe a nice dinner somewhere tonight?"

Tom couldn't stop the slightly goofy grin that took over. "Sounds like a plan."

"Good. I need coffee and then we can get going," Liz answered, her grin bright enough to keep his lips tugged upward even as she stood from the little cafe table and wandered towards the coffee bar. Gina could wait until the next morning. This was their day.

The day melted into evening, and Tom almost forgot that the next morning would include whatever Gina needed his help with. The next day came, though, and he showed up at the station's cafe and took a seat inside, ordering coffee and glancing through a newspaper. The coffee came with a note that gave him a time to walk out. There was no place to meet, but he'd see her. He'd know what to look for.

Tom glanced down at his watch and folded his newspaper. And he thought this was going to be an actual interview. Maybe it was good to have a jolt or two back to reality. It helped remind him that he wasn't really a teacher. He might love the woman he married, but he was not the man she thought he was. There were many things she knew, many ways that she understood him on a deeper level than anyone else ever would, but she didn't know the rather key fact that he had been inserted into her life and that, above all, he was a professional doing his job.

He stood, leaving it behind and moving out into the street. He saw Gina exiting through a side door from the hotel itself. She passed him and they circled around in opposite directions, winding the long way around the building to an alley a couple of blocks away. Gina was already standing there, bag in hand. "I flew in," she offered.

"Uhhuh." She needed him to get her weapon out. No wonder she's wanted to make sure they had taken the train rather than flying. He was going to kill her. He had no real problem helping her with it - in the grand scheme of things, it was pretty minor - but a little warning could have kept Liz away from it all. She didn't need to be anywhere near this. He wasn't stupid. Gina was there to check in on him. She could have smuggled her weapon any number of ways.

"Or maybe I just wanted to see you," she said suggestively, stepping closer. "It's been a while."

"Liz's expecting me."

"It's an interview. No telling how long it'll take."

He had known her since they were teenagers and there had been a few mistakes I between then and now. Usually it was a combination of trying to prolong the high of an intense op mixed with alcohol. Lots of alcohol. It was casual and short lived every time with a sharp reminder to them both that there was nothing normal in how they handled it, but something about her advances this time struck Tom as strange. "No reason to make her suspicious and blow everything to hell."

Gina looked up at him and frowned. "You're not getting attached, are you?"

Was she jealous? It certainly sounded like it. Tom snorted. "When have you ever know me to get attached? I have a job to do, Gina. I don't have time for this."

He tried to turn, assuming that that would end the conversation, but she grabbed his arm to stop him, and when he turned back to her she pressed her lips pressed against his. He pulled immediately back and she looked startled by the movement. "Jacob-"

His temper flared at the name no one had used for him in years and she took a step back. "What the hell is wrong with you? I did you a favour today, risking the job I'm on because you didn't want to make other arrangements. Not my fault, Gina."

Her eyes turned guarded and her expression became unreadable. "I owe you one."

"Yes you do. Remember that when it comes time to collect."

He didn't give her time to say anything more as he stormed off, the gun tucked away in his satchel. He'd take it for her and tuck it away in his own go-box. That, at least, would leave her owing him, and maybe then she wouldn't voice any suspicions to the wrong people. Bill would be bad enough, but if Bill put her in with Berlin and Berlin caught scent of the idea that the perfect spy he'd hired had feelings for his mark... That would land them both in a lot of trouble.

He took the long way around the blocks before heading back up to the room where Liz was waiting. She'd been stirring when he kissed her and told her he was off to the interview. As he crept back in then he heard the sound of the shower and breathed in a sigh of relief, moving to tuck the satchel away at the bottom of their bag. He packed it and if he wasn't the one to unpack it when they got home it would sit there for a week. Once it was in there, she'd never notice.

The water stopped and he flopped back onto the bed, tossing the cap he'd been wearing to the suitcase before folding his arms under his head as if he'd been there for a bit.

"Hey you. How'd it go?" Liz asked as she peeked around the doorframe from the bathroom, towel wrapped around her and steam pouring out.

"Not bad," he answered with a shrug.

"They loved you, right?"

"I'm not sure that I was what they were hoping to find," he answered softly and Liz's smile evened out as she folded the corner of the towel so it wouldn't drop. Before he knew it she was on the bed with him and her lips covered his. They were soft and welcoming, soothing the worries away and he found himself reaching up to bury his fingers in her hair and deepen the kiss. This was what he wanted, not Gina. He never wanted this to end.

"Well then they don't know what they're missing," Liz murmured breathlessly when they finally broke.

"I love you."

She smiled and kissed his lips lightly. "I love you too."

He looked up into her eyes and he thought he might get lost in them. He wanted to. Just for a little bit he wanted to be a normal man married to the love of his life. There was no gun, no Gina, and no assassination. There was only Elizabeth Keen, and as she kissed him again, he was sure that he could trick himself for just a little bit. If he could lie to himself well enough, he could feel something akin to normal.