Consider this beeotch disclaimed. For real.
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The guns were on the table along with some various greased rags, clearly having been laid out for cleaning. 'Aha! With these I will be Integra's favorite!' she thought triumphantly, but even as she reached for the weapons, the back of her neck prickled and the shadows began to thicken around her.
"Get away from my casket!" The booming, dangerously possessive words seemed to come from all directions at once, and before she even realized it, Saki was running like hell from the chamber – empty handed.
'Damnit!' she hissed, finally forcing herself to a halt in the deserted chambers. 'He startled me!' She pouted, stomping a foot angrily. It wasn't as if she could go back now – he would surely be watching this time around.
Looking about irritably, Saki quickly formulated a plan B.
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The swift, consistent dance of her limber fingers across the keyboard filled the air with the crisp sound of typing. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Another report completed.
She was making good progress today. 'Another report bites the dust,' she allowed herself a momentary joke, imagining firing a silver bullet into the pile of paper and all the 'foul creations' turning to dust. Integra almost smiled – almost. No interruptions -
"Hey master!"
The girl's bright yellow eyes seemed to be smiling; they glittered gaily as she beamed at the director of the Hellsing organization. Integra only spared a momentary glance at the too-excited sounding girl, nearly cringing from the cheer.
Or at least, she was only planning to spare a momentary glance - but then, during that glance, she noticed what the girl was wearing.
Integra blinked, finally looking at the lycan standing before her. She frowned. "What are you wearing?" When the girl only made a sound of demurring and made no immediate reply, Integra snapped in a more matronly tone: "Did you steal the police-girl's uniform?"
The girl's cheer didn't disappear, but it did falter for a moment. One hand came up to scratch the back of her head nervously, and she shrugged defensively, too-innocent smile on her face. "Uh - no master - uh -"
The way the fabric was much-too-loose around the areas where she was not as well-endowed as the fledgling vampire begged to differ. Integra's frown increased, and she thought she felt a headache coming on.
'I have a fledgling vampire who is like an untrained puppy, a master vampire who is like an attention starved puppy - and now, I have a real puppy who likes to steal things.' What had she done wrong in her past life to warrant this cruel twist of fates? Honestly!
"Saki. This little habit of stealing things from members of my organization is -"
"I didn't steal it, master!" the girl asserted, still holding up her hands in innocence. "I was borrowing it, and besides -"
Just then, a rather flustered-looking police-girl chose to enter the room; she was wearing an ill-fitting Hellsing uniform rather than her usual attire, and was looking quite flustered judging by the pinkish hue painting her puffing cheeks. "Sir Integra, I -" She stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the lycan standing there - and immediately, her expression changed from one of embarrassment to one of dawning realization - and accusation. "You took it!"
The Hellsing director imagined that if the lycan were in her animal form that her ears would be flattened against her head, and her tail between her legs. Sheepishly, the wolf-girl hurriedly finished her explanation. " - I uh, borrowed it from the laundry."
There was a long, uncomfortable moment of silence in which the police-girl simply stood there, glaring with child-like affront at the wolf, while the wolf looked at Integra with big, innocent eyes - and Integra pinched the bridge of her nose, desperately staving off the growing pain between her eyes.
Integra heaved a great sigh of exasperation. "Saki – I am well aware of the incident earlier…" When she still tried to maintain an incident look, Integra dealt the killing blow. "With Alucard's gun. You do remember trying to steal it, don't you?"
The lycan didn't even try to hide the look of surprise and horror on her face. "Uh… Oh." She ducked her head just a little lower, obviously defeated.
"And I believe the police-girl would like her uniform back," Integra finished, and the girl actually shrank beneath her admonishing tone.
"Yes, master," the girl replied, and with that, slunk quickly away, the police-girl hot on her heels.
Long after they were gone, Integra continued to shake her head, muttering, "Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots."
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Give me some reviews. I'm hard up for any gags/ideas, so I'll very likely entertain anything you want.