Bothersome Chapter 7: Girl Fight, a hellsing fanfic

I only "own" Saki – and believe me, if I owned her in any real sense of the word, the rest would easily fall into place quite nicely.

Thanks for all your reviews – and this chapter is especially dedicated to mslcat, whose many pertinent questions/suggestions have definitely sparked a lot of creative tinder in my head. In fact, there's a very special scene in the middle created just for you (wink). Enjoy!

Integra went to bed quite satisfied that night. It had only taken the rest of the day and the better part of the night, but in the end, she felt like she had gleaned at least a little grasp over the elusive "werewolf" subject.

It would seem that what little tidbit Alucard had offered her was the most important of all: lycans had once lived in servitude to vampires, guarding them in their slumber during the daylight hours. They were, therefore, created with fighting enemies – including rival vampires – in mind. Immune to mind-gleaning from any other than their lord vampire, physically strong, agile, quick, and impossibly loyal once bound; able to transform into a lycanthrope, semi-human, semi-animal form that eclipsed even their usual physical prowess (though whether the transformation was dependent on environmental conditions or necessity of the transformation the documents didn't make it clear); immune to daylight, perhaps further strengthened by darkness; extremely sharp senses, especially regarding the undead; and, as Walter had added with a strange amount of insight, a lycan made for a very dangerous enemy.

Saki's age was of particular interest, of course. Since werewolves were nearly immortal creatures, the lycan could be anywhere from 15 to 150 and Integra would be none the wiser. Judging by her antics and apparent lack of discretion, however, Integra judged that she was likely closer to the former than the latter – and, in the end, the real number didn't matter one way or the other. The girl had little to no contact with humans, and it was clear that regardless of her real age, her maturity was what it was.

Or perhaps maturity wasn't the right word to use. What Integra had managed to find about werewolves seemed to indicate that they followed typical wolf patterns. The girl was used to living with some sort of a family unit – a pack, if you will – and likely had always had a short leash. Being young, she had undoubtedly been at the bottom of the hierarchy, and it was probable that she had always been told exactly what to do by the pack alphas, if not every adult member of the pack.

A short leash and lack of experience in the world would undoubtedly lead to some indiscretions when "freed," just like with any "normal" teenager when they first experienced the liberation of being away from home for the first time. This fact in mind, Integra was willing to overlook what "incidents" had occurred. The girl didn't know better – but hopefully, with a little firm instruction in the right direction, her true potential could be better assessed.

Feeling incredibly confident, Integra slept the whole night through with a confident smirk firmly in place. She awoke the next morning ready to delve a little further into the documents before calling Saki to discuss her potential future with Hellsing.

Integra sat at her desk, prepared for a long evening of poring over the documents she had discovered, but for some reason, something niggled at the back of her mind. Without even realizing what she was doing, she stared at the top of her desk, and noted that the papers weren't quite as she had left them.

Oh, things weren't amiss – not really. Everything was there, certainly – but it was all just slightly off kilter. Just not quite so; mussed with, but so carefully that if Integra were just a smidgen less neat and orderly in her goings on, she might not have noticed.

But she was that neat and orderly, and so, Integra frowned, furrowing her brows as she stared at the desk.

'Who the hell went through my things?'

Walter had been with her. None of her men would dare enter her office if she weren't there. Alucard would have no interest going through her papers – and Seras would most certainly have asked for any information she wanted…

The moment her mind snapped like a steel trap upon the only logical culprit, the first phone call came in.

"Sir Integra –" Walter's voice rang over the intercom, and he sounded both flustered and confused. "Sir Islands is on the phone, and he's rather upset over – an inappropriate reply to an email he sent you earlier –"

"Email? What email?" Immediately, the young woman turned in her chair and moved the mouse, bringing her computer back from its blank screen saver and opening her inbox.

"I haven't the slightest…" the butler offered, but Integra wasn't listening at this point.

"Go ahead and put him through, Walter."

Even as the angry droll of Sir Islands began to buzz about her like an angry insect, she noted in her inbox a 'replied' checkmark next to a report she had most assuredly not opened, much less read – or replied to – yet…

She wasn't even done trying to smooth Sir Islands ruffled feathers by the time she heard Walter apologetically patching in again.

"Uh – beg pardon Sir Integra – but Sir Penwood is on line two… and Sir Edsworth on line three…"

Realization dawned like a very, very angry storm cloud, and Integra gritted her teeth; if ever there were a time she would act entirely in the heat of passion and let chaos reign down about her, now was the time. Even so, her voice still sounded oddly composed as she declared for all the world to hear and know: "I'm going to kill her."

… Meanwhile…

An unfortunate side effect to being a young werewolf was an insatiable 'itch' – a killer instinct that commanded her to move. Unable to just sit still, patiently awaiting the arrival of her delivery that would help with plan A to worm her way into Integra's favor, Saki quickly decided that she needed to pursue a plan B, just for good measure.

So, the minute her eyes opened from her slumber (which wasn't even close to morning yet, judging by how dark it was outside), Saki flung herself from bed and wasted no time in high tailing it to the practice fields. By the time she got there her assumption that it was still night was confirmed, since most of the men were standing around chatting and cleaning off their equipment, apparently back from a night mission judging by the reek of ghoul blood that assaulted her sensitive nose.

For a little while she padded about aimlessly, lifting up this weapon and that, but none really impressed her. She had been watching their target practice from her window from days, and quite frankly, she wasn't impressed with the meager weapons. These men were clearly lowly servants to Sir Integra – Saki hadn't really seen her master interacting with them, after all, so as far as she was concerned, using their guns wouldn't help elevate her to where she needed to be.

She was just beginning to think this particular mission was a bust when she saw it.

Her mouth opened, forming a silent 'oh' as she slowly, hesitantly, ran her hands along the beast of a weapon. Words were engraved on the side – namely, 'Vladmir Harkonan', and Saki had stars in her eyes as she hefted the heavy thing up. Whoever this 'Vladmir Harkonan' was, he was one lucky chump!

'Wow. I bet I could slay a lot of her enemies with this' she thought, sighting down the barrel. Sure, it was heavy, but there was something exhilarating about its solid weight bearing down on her. She didn't even notice as the men stared at her in awe as she hefted the canon up, and nor did she listen to their shouts of warning as she twirled it around with abandon.

In the interest of not 'stealing' anyone's things, she called aloud, "Do you think Mr. Harkonan would mind if I borrowed his gun?"

No one said, "No!" so with a maniacal grin, she took aim down the sighting track and fired. She didn't really anticipate the backlash of the fire, so the shot went a little high, going a bit further than intended. One of the sighting sheds on the other side of the practice grounds was promptly blown sky high, flaming wood and paper going every which way. "Whoooo!" Saki screamed in both delight and surprise, and heard the others shouting their own varying exclamations as well.

When Saki turned to say something, she noted a very familiar figure standing right behind her. The taller, blonder, much curvier young vampire woman stood and gaped at her, a look that was increasingly emotional by the second playing upon her angular features. Unable to quite recall the girl's name, Saki smiled and raised her free hand in a chipper wave. "Oh, hi… Police Girl! I didn't see you there!"

The girl seemed to promptly snap out of her shock, snarling with surprising vindictiveness, "You aren't supposed to blow up the sheds! You're lucky there was no ammo in there! You're lucky there were no people in there!"

"Oh – right – sorry then!"

With further affront, the vampire continued ranting as if Saki hadn't even interrupted. "And my name is Seras Victoria! And that gun is mine!"

"Uh, I think not," Saki sniffed, pointing meaningfully at the engraving upon the gun. She felt rather proud to have caught the vampire-girl in a lie, but she tried to explain the matter as patiently as she could, as if talking to a young child. "This gun clearly belongs to Vladmir Harkonan. He wrote his name on it – see?"

Once again, the girl gaped. "That's the name of the gun, you git!"

Saki snorted; she had tried to be open-minded and kind, but this vampire was clearly not a worthy recipient of the efforts. Rolling her eyes, she retorted, "Oh please. Like I'll believe your lies, vampire! You can't deceive me with your dark magic!"

The girls mouth was open so wide it looked as if she may have unhinged the jaw (which vampires were sometimes apt to do, Saki knew). Shock quickly gave way to indignity, and after only a moment, the girl shouted, "Shut up! And give me back my gun!"

Well, now it was simply a matter of principle. Hugging the gun tightly to herself, Saki jerked her chin up stubbornly. "No; I'm going to make sure Vladmir Harkonan gets his weapon back safe and sound!"

"There is no Vladmir Harkonan!"

"Pff, you could at least put a little imagination into your lies!" Saki tried to shove her way past the other girl, but was promptly shoved back. With a deep growl in her throat, she placed a single hand on the other girls shoulder and slammed forward.

She didn't know who threw the first punch, but either way they ended up the same. She was only vaguely aware of the shouts of fear, confusion, and excitement coming from the quickly growing crowd of soldiers around them – instead, she was focused rather keenly on keeping herself alive. Oh, the girl had a strong arm for sure – that was only to be expected from a vampire. But Saki was quicker, just a little more agile – and had sharper claws.

If the girl weren't Integra's servant, Saki might have used those claws, too. But, since the girl was a member of this household, she held back on that front, if not pulling anything from the wild punches.

"Grrr!" With a lithe twist, she managed to right herself again, digging her hands into the vampire's uniform; there was a satisfying noise of tearing fabric. "Oomph!" A swift kick in the ribs from the other girl reversed their position again. "Nhhgh!" A wild punch scored purchase on the other girl's cheek, and Saki managed to slam her into the ground once again. This time, however, Saki pushed up off the girl, but even as she tried to spring to her feet, she felt the girl crash into her back, twisting Saki's arm painfully behind her back with one hand, pulling her hair with the other. Both crashed painfully back into the ground. "Grrr!"

"Take it back!"

"You take it back!"

Saki twisted and whined, kicking wildly as her face was driven hard into the dirt on the ground. Damn, that was a clever way to take down an opponent – Saki silently stored the painful arm grip into the back of her mind…

Barring her teeth, Saki growled and clawed angry rivulets into the earth with her claws, continuing to thrash without purchase. "Let me up!"

"Take it back!" "Get. Offfffff!" "Nhgh!" "Grr!" "Oof!" The two were no more than a wildly thrashing mass of entangled limbs.

She was actually prepared to reach behind her with her claws – do anything to get back up – when suddenly the weight of the other girl disappeared from her back. The prickling on the back of her neck immediately alerted her as to why.

"Master!" the Police Girl cried, surprise evident in her voice as she quickly backpedaled from the scene. "I – she –" She pointed at Saki, then at the canon, clearly at a loss for words.

"The sun will be rising soon, Police Girl. You should seek your coffin." Saki glared angrily at the older vampire who had materialized out of nowhere, and he looked down at her with a smirk that she couldn't quite interpret playing on his features. "And you would do well to hurry to Integra's office – she's looking for you," he addressed her with idle amusement in his voice, paying no heed to his own fledgling's continued discomfit.

"Fine!" Saki sniffed, leaping from the ground, suppressing a wince as her shoulders (and a few other places) screamed in protest. With as much dignity as she could muster after having had her face shoved into the mud, she marched off the practice fields, ignoring the stares and rampant murmurs that accompanied the retreat.

The girl strolled into her office with some semblance of confidence and no traces of the fear she should have been showing. Though rather disgracefully covered in mud (why or how, Integra couldn't even muster up the patience to wonder upon), and cheek seemed to be already swelling with a bruise. She was scrubbing rather viciously at some stray dirt on her face with the back of her hand, but upon seeing Integra, slowed to a halting pace that verily dragged her to the chair Integra indicated with a harsh gesture. Gulping, the lycan very tentatively drawled, "Am I… in trouble?"

Integra took a deep, calming breath which didn't even begin to serve its purpose. "Yes, Saki. Yes; you are in very, very big trouble."

'You were a very, very bad dog!' her tone bespoke, and she imagined herself shaking her finger at a guilty looking puppy. It was admittedly an amusing anecdote – ironic, given the situation and such – and it may have made her smile in any other situation.

The girl flinched. "Oh." Fidgeting, she seemed unable to raise her gaze from the floor. "Is this – uh – about – uhm – in the practice area –"

"No this is –" Integra paused as the girl's hesitant words caught up with her. "What about the practice area?"

"Uh – nothing –"

Before the girl could even finish her demur, a crisply smooth voice heralded the arrival of Walter, already gently closing the door to the office behind him. "It would seem that Miss Saki took Miss Victoria's gun, and then the two proceeded to have a… disagreement," he offered with great delicacy. For a moment, Walter's cool grey eyes met Saki's wild golden ones; Walter frowned, and the wolf-child actually faltered beneath the silent chastising of the aged butler. Integra almost smirked, knowing all too well how good Walter was at playing a fatherly figure.

Almost smirked. But not quite.

"She what?" she yelped, then, realizing it was foolish to address Walter when the subject of the conversation was right before her, turned straight to the lycan. "You what?" she shouted, and the girl cowered pitifully beneath the harsh tone.

"Uhm… What he said… except, the gun clearly stated it belonged to one Vladmir Harkonan –" Integra didn't know what, exactly, her expression bespoke, but after one look at her, the girl shrank in her chair. " – and uh, that is the name of the gun, isn't it?" She tried to smile sheepishly, but failed quite miserably. "Heh. Heh… Sorry…"

Integra felt her jaw tense, and for a moment, she clenched the pen in her hand so hard that she was afraid she was going to snap it in two. She just – she couldn't believe it. Alucard occasionally pushed her buttons on purpose with his blasé teases; Seras, occasionally on accident with her naivety. But this – this –

Integra pinched the bridge of her nose, holding in a long, deep, calming breath. The silence between them was permeated by a very dog-like – and very unintentional, judging by the way she slapped her hands over her mouth after it – whine.

Involuntarily, Integra nodded to herself. 'Yes; I'm going to kill her.'

Integra had been shouting for something that seemed like an eternity by now; Saki tried her best to dissolve into her chair, but continued to fail miserably. Somehow, she imagined that even if she did figure out how to simply disappear, the verbal assault wouldn't end. "Furthermore, I was planning on introducing your presence gradually – diplomatically – to the knights, but it would seem that your… indiscretions… have made this impossible. Did you even think about what you were doing? For even a moment?"

"I was thinking of what I was doing the whole time, master…" the lycan began, but under what was undoubtedly a withering glare from Integra, she immediately acquiesced, dipping her head in bashful shame. "I'm sorry, sir… I didn't realize –"

"Do you even understand the meaning of diplomacy?"

She tried to look to Walter for any sort of assistance, but the older man simply stood calmly beside his mistress, quietly allowing her to take care of matters. "I um – I think I understand it a bit more now, sir…" Saki twisted her hands in her lap, very nearly squirming right out of her chair.

That seemed to enrage the knight even more. "An emergency round table conference is being called specifically to address the possible threat you present to her Majesty, England, Hellsing – and the knights! Of course it wouldn't have happened had you not very deliberately threatened each and every one of the above!"

"I was only –" One glare and Saki snapped her mouth shut. "I'm sorry!" she asserted for perhaps the thousandth time since she had entered the office.

The muscles on her jaw twitched in a most fascinating matter, and for several moments, she was completely silent. "Just… go into your room… Go to your room, and do not come out – do not do anything – do not think anything – just go in there and – and – and sit until you are sent for! You will be going to the roundtable conference, and you will behave!" Saki was already shooting out the door as if fired from a pistol.

Thankfully, the path back to her room took her right by where the mail for the day was delivered. With a sigh of relief, she snatched the package clearly marked "EroticPleasures", and thanked the powers that be that she'd at least have something pleasing to wear for her master for this 'conference'.

Heh… Sorry if "the fight" put Seras OOC – I tried really hard to keep it IC…

I thought it was pretty funny though – but let me know what you think!