Nightmares

Part of him knew it was a dream. It was the logical side that told him that he had already fought this fight and that the man that was threatening his wife was dead. It was over, but there he was all over again. The tables were flipped though, with Liz strapped down to the chair, beaten and bloodied, and he sat entirely still, knowing without a doubt that a flinch in the wrong direction would be the end of his wife.

Zamani smiled at him, the expression twisted and cruel, and Tom felt every muscle tense as he snarled at the man. "Don't touch her."

"I know who you are, Mr Phelps. I know what you're doing here. The question is, does she know?"

Liz turned a terrified look on him, her eyes wide and afraid. Tom shook his head. "I don't know what-" The knife came too close to her throat, stopping him mid-denial. "Please, just let her go."

"All you need to do to save your wife's life, Mr Phelps, is to tell her the truth."

Tom turned, finding Liz staring at him. She was calm now, the tape removed from her mouth, and she looked at him in a pleading manner. "Babe, it's me. You can trust me with anything."

He stood slowly and crossed the short space between them. Zamani took a step back and Liz stood too, reaching out for him. She was still beaten and bloodied, but her focus was on him and he took her hand, pulling her close. "I'm not here to hurt you, Liz," he managed, "but I'm not who you think I am. I-"

"I know," she said softly. "Reddington told me everything."

Tom didn't have a chance to respond. He hadn't seen the knife in her hand and it took a moment for it to register that she had lunged forward, burying it deep in his gut. Pain raced through his system and when his eyes met his wife's, they were cold. "Lizzy," he coked out, knees giving way beneath him.

She reached down to where he was knelt on the carpet, blood soaking through his shirt, and her fingers touched his cheek. "Tom?" she whispered, her voice strangely gentle for the look of cold hatred in her eyes. "Babe, you need to wake up."

He stared at her, confused, but as he blinked he was jolted out of the nightmare. The dream Liz was replaced by the woman that still loved him, bent over him in their bed and worry shining in her eyes. He stared up at her, trying to shake the dream, and felt a twinge from the still-healing wound that Zamani really had left in him. Zamani. Not Liz. It had just been a nightmare.

"You okay?" his wife asked worriedly, her hand moving from his cheek to smooth back sweat slicked hair. He was tangled in the sheets and his pillow was hanging half off the bed. Apparently the nightmare had come through more than they usually did. No wonder Liz was awake.

"Yeah," he managed, his voice right and raspy, still trying to shake it off. "Just a dream."

"More like a nightmare." Her gaze traveled downward and to where his arm was wrapped around his middle protectively and her brows drew together. "Oh babe."

"It's fine. I'm fine," he mumbled.

"It's okay if you're not, you know that, right? You've been through a lot."

"We have," he corrected automatically.

"Yeah, but I didn't get stabbed by a psychopath," Liz said and leaned forward, kissing him. "You know you can tell me anything, right? You don't have to hold it all in. Talk to me."

The words were close enough to the dream to send a shudder through him and Liz wrapped an arm around him and he shifted closer. "It was that guy," he said carefully, making sure not to say too much. "It was happening all over again, but this time it was you. I couldn't... I couldn't protect you."

"Oh babe," she breathed, tightening her grip on him enough to make him wince. She loosened her hold and pressed a kiss to his lips before nestling down, his arms going stiffly around her as well. It still hurt, but it was worth a little pain to have her so close. She'd been acting funny since everything happened and he wasn't sure why. He thought she might feel guilty, and he hated that. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," he promised, kissing the top of her head as she hugged him. "I love you. I just... That's all that matters. You're safe and I love you."

"Love you too," she whispered and Tom heard her breathing even out as sleep pulled her under. He wouldn't sleep the rest of the night, he knew, but he could stay there with her and remind himself that she was safe. It was all he could do to push back the shadows that reached for them.

He was screaming, the sound echoing through the boat and unnerving Samuel. He had called her about it and she had come, expecting to find the man that she currently had chained to the wall pitching a fit of some sort and trying to find another angle to secure his release.

He had been sick for nearly a week, fever spiking to such dangerous levels that Ellie had finally called it quits when Liz refused to take him to a hospital. She had given the agent a supply of medication and left. The pills were helping to fight the infection and his fever had broken, so she had expected him to become obstinate again. He was so damned stubborn sometimes. She wasn't sure how she had ever found that endearing.

"I'm not going in there," Aleko said firmly, glancing at the closed door and Liz rolled her eyes, taking the key from him.

"I don't hear anything."

"He went quiet about twenty minutes ago." The CI looked towards the door like he was spooked. "What if he dies in there? What are you gonna do with the body?"

"He's been getting better."

"Not today."

Liz quirked an eyebrow and wondered if maybe he hadn't been doing his best to be obnoxious. She had assumed that he had been shouting and trying to draw attention, but as the door opened and she saw him shivering on the thin mattress, hair slicked with sweat and face flushed, she knew they weren't done with the fight against the infection just yet.

She stepped down the stairs quietly, inching toward him. He was mumbling quietly in his sleep and she stopped to pick up the bottle of pills she had left him. It didn't look like he had taken them in a couple of days and she frowned as she sank down to kneel in front of him, reaching to touch his shoulder. "Tom? Hey, wake up."

Blue eyes shot open and he was halfway to his feet before his knees gave way and he came crashing back down, curled and cursing. Liz remained where she was, unmoved by the display, and let him get his breath back before she spoke, waving the evidence in front of his face. "You wanted a doctor and I got you the medication. You've got to take it if it's going to do you any good."

He glared from his place where he was still curled on his side. "I can't keep it down."

She frowned a little. He had never reacted well to medication, but his body seemed to have a particular dislike of heavy painkillers and strong antibiotics. "Take it with food. I don't know what to tell you, Tom. It's what I have."

He coughed into the mattress. "What do you want, Liz?"

"Samuel said you were screaming."

"Worried someone will hear me?" he demanded with a pained smirk. He did look miserable right then and she settled onto the ground with him. He hadn't threatened her once - unless she considered the legal ramifications that she already knew too well - since she had brought him there, and while she normally kept her distance she couldn't find it in herself to be bothered. It was late, she was exhausted, and she could revert to cold bitch mode the next day when she had it in her to do so.

"No one is going to hear you down here, Tom. You know that." She reached forward and could feel the heat coming from him, even as he flinched away. "What's the point?"

He blinked at her, eyes guarded, but she could see something flicker just behind those careful walls. It was a haunted expression that she hadn't seen in some time, but recognized. "You were dreaming," she murmured.

"Zamani."

"What?" Liz hadn't heard that name in some time and her tired brain wasn't processing it well.

"The man that broke into our home? The one that nearly killed me. I haven't dreamt about him in a long time, but I had the dream again. The one where he tried to kill you and not me."

The honesty took her a little off guard. She remembered him waking up to that dream several times after it had happened, shaking and hesitant to tell her about it. He had told her it changed in the details, but it always began the same way and had the same outcome. She was tied to the chair and he couldn't protect her. Now, after the truth was out between them, she didn't know what to make of that dream.

Tom rolled over on his back, resting his head against the mattress under him. "I think you always woke me up before it got too far. Freaked your guy out?"

"Yeah, just a little."

He snorted and closed his eyes. "Oh well."

"I'll see what I can do about what he brings you to eat. May help get the medication down."

"Can't have me dying on you, huh?"

"You're useful."

A soft chuckle left him and Liz shook her head, shifting to get up. His hand shot out and grabbed hold of her wrist before she could, the chains clanking with the movement. She tensed, ready to snap away, but his hold was gentler than she had expected. "Stay?"

"Why would you want me to stay?" she growled, but his eyes had taken on a glazed sort of look and she couldn't find it in herself to revel in the fact that he was utterly miserable. Instead she found herself waiting, curious to know if he'd tell her the truth or not. Not that she was sure that she'd know the truth from his lips if she heard it.

Tom was silent for several long moments. "Make sure you're safe," he said at last, his words almost too quiet to hear.

"He's gone, Tom. Zamani's dead."

"I know."

He was fading again and Liz sighed. She shouldn't be comforting him. She was his jailer and he was her prisoner. His only use then was to help her find Berlin. That was her only concern, or at least it should be. "I'm going to go get you something to eat so you can take your pills."

Tom didn't answer her and his hand had gone lax in sleep. She frowned at him and pushed aside the rising guilt and pity. He didn't deserve it, she reminded herself. He was useful and that was the only reason he was still alive. Her friend was dead and her boss had nearly died. She couldn't risk weakness now.

So Elizabeth Keen stood and walked to the door, not risking a glance behind her. She did not pity him and she did not love him. He was a liar, but if she would admit it or not, so was she. Even if it was to herself.

Notes: I've always been very interested in dreams and how people's minds work things out. The show gives us glimpses of Liz's subconscious through her dreams and I absolutely love it, but we don't see Tom's. I'm hoping we might see that some time in the future.