Promises Worth Keeping

He had never been so nervous in his life. People were moving in every direction, chattering and gossiping, and it all swirled together like a tidal wave ready to crash over his head. He didn't know most of them. Liz had family and friends there, but most everyone that had come for him was a plant. He'd spent hours pouring over pictures and stories, making sure to lock all the necessary details away in his mind. His fiancé had put most of the wedding together anyway. She had wanted to, and he had made himself available whenever needed.

Everything was in order and he should be calm and collected. This was the next step. His assignment was going well.

"You look like you need a cigarette."

Tom turned, finding the man that was about to become his father-in-law smirking at him. "I don't smoke, Sam. You know that."

"Sure you don't, kid," the older man chuckled. "Just like you were born under the name Thomas Keen."

Sam was joking, but Tom's gaze darted to make sure they were out of earshot of any of the guests, including the ones that were there as eyes and ears for Berlin as much as they were there to fill the gaping holes a life his provided instead of family and friends. He knew that Liz's adopted father knew exactly who he was, but he usually didn't voice it quite so openly, and if anyone heard him it could cause the man trouble. It wouldn't do Tom any good either. It would kill Liz to find out and she might think that the man that had asked her to marry him cared nothing for her if she ever found out how he had come into her life. That's why she wouldn't find out. Sam would smooth things over as best he could on the Reddington end and Tom would continue on as best as he could. There was an unspoken understanding that this was his life now. Jacob Phelps was no more. He had chosen to become Tom Keen to protect this woman that had once only been a job. Now she was his entire world.

Liz's father chuckled, mischief glimmering in his eyes. "You nervous?"

Blue eyes darted back towards the room that was filling with people. "Maybe a little."

"Good."

That pulled a short laugh from Tom and he found that Sam's gaze was directed at the door that currently his Lizzy behind it. She would be dressed already, with her aunt and cousins back there to help her. Her bridesmaids would be talking about whatever it was that they talked about on the wedding day. Tom hadn't even had a real bachelor party. Instead, he had spent the time arguing with Reddington's right-hand man about the necessity of marrying Elizabeth Scott. It had been less than the good time that most bachelor parties were suppose to be - so he had heard - but it wasn't like he'd had anyone to invite anyway.

"You admitting to being nervous probably means you're terrified," Sam chuckled, looking back at him and Tom's expression immediately evened out.

"I know what I'm doing."

"I know you think you do, son," Liz's father said with crooked sort of smile.

"I'm not going to let anything hurt her."

"Does that include you?" Tom stiffened and Sam reached out, his hand landing on the younger man's shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, Tom. I know how you feel about her, and I get the impression that you've worked something to make sure Red doesn't cancel your contract, but you and I both know that what sold me on this is what puts him off on the whole thing." Sam glanced around and held up a finger, signaling that he'd be right over, when one of the bridesmaids motioned him over. "I need you to promise me something before we go through with this today."

Tom tilted his head a little. "What's that?"

"That you love her more than anything. More than this job of yours and more than your own life if it comes down to it. If you have to, you'll tell her everything."

"Reddington-"

"Red's a stubborn ass. I need you to love her more than you care about what he'll do to you. If you can't, then walk away right now."

Tom watched his soon to be father-in-law carefully. The words needed to be as honest as he knew how to make them. This man was watching out for his little girl's heart. The same heart that had proven to him that there was more to life than the cards Jacob had been dealt. "I love her more than anything," he said softly.

"Good. Now get. That idiot Craig over there looks like he's going to have a fit it you don't acknowledge him."

The groom snorted a laugh. "I won't let her down, Sam."

"I know you'll do your damnedest not to."

Sam was shuffled into the changing room while Tom was corralled to the front of the chapel and everything else seemed to be lost to a blur when Liz stepped out. She was beaming, happy and excited and for just a moment Tom saw a future he had never known that he could want wrapped up in that smile of hers. He really could love her more than anything, even the job. That was a dangerous place for a man like him to be in, but he was too far past caring for that to matter. He was balanced between two of the most dangerous men in the world, all to keep this woman safe. As she came to stand next to him, Sam offering them both a wink, Tom knew it was worth it.

That had been three years ago now, both a lifetime ago and a blink of an eye. The night had been perfect, saved in his mind as a memory to reach back on whenever their marriage had felt like it was spiraling. They had danced and laughed and promised each other forever. It wasn't the only promise he'd made that day, of course, nor was it the only one he had broken.

Tom flipped the burner phone in his hand open and then shut again, his promise to a man that was already gone ringing in his mind. He needed to love her more than the job and he needed to tell her everything, no matter the personal cost. No matter if she could ever find it in herself to forgive him for everything he'd done to her or not. She might never take him back, but he could do this one thing for her. He could tell her the truth.

He pulled in a steadying breath, flipped the phone open, and hit redial. It rang in his ear as he gripped the phone tightly, willing himself to go through with it.

"Keen."

"Hey, it's me."

There was a pause at the other end. "I thought you would have been gone by now."

"I know, but... It's important."

She sighed. "Where are you?"

"I'll text you the address." The line went dead in his ear and he punched the address in quickly to send it. He was going to tell her everything. She deserved to know. He had made a promise, and when they counted, he tried to keep those. The promises conflicted now, but he was going to choose her. What was the worst Reddington could do? Kill him? He could get in line for that. Seemed like everyone wanted him dead these days, but he'd be damned if they got to him before Lizzy had what she needed to survive all of this. She had to know who Reddington really was, and if she chose to trust him after that then that was her call. She had always been smart.

Tom sank back against the wall of the warehouse, sliding down to take a seat on the cool floor to wait and hope that he wasn't making a mistake. It was better to tell her late than to never tell her at all, he thought. He had promised Sam, and there were some promises that were worth keeping.

Notes: The idea that Sam knew who Tom was and accepted him because he saw how much he cared for Liz (when that's exactly what Red disliked about the situation) took hold in my brain and won't let go now. If that was the case, it would give Tom, at least for a brief time, a man to look up to and to see that there was more than what Bud taught him. While twenty years under the Major and fourteen years prior to that living what sounds like a pretty crummy, potentially dangerous life of a different kind isn't just wiped away by a couple years of kindness shown to someone, it can at least give them a glimmer to reach for. I like to think that Sam knew, and sometimes Tom may have even gone to him for advice. Just my own personal headcannon.