Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
REVISED: format - 10/15/2006

Replaced Bride – Part VIII
The Talk

She paced impatiently, fingers tapping against the small piece of paper Nanda had given her earlier. A number for a midwife who specialized in hanyou births. More importantly, the midwife who had assisted Nanda through several - several, several, several - children.

Blue eyes snapped furiously. Pregnant? I really, really don't think so.

Not that she didn't want kids - she did! - but he hadn't even mentioned the possibility. Hadn't even mentioned anything, in fact. And she wasn't relishing the thought of being well-nigh permanently pregnant for the rest of her natural life.

No way.

Pace, pace, pace.

"You're a little too strung up about this," Sango noted calmly, carelessly curled up on an armchair while reading The Secrets to Youkai Sexual Relations, which held really no secrets at all. Well, except the little bit about scratching just beneath his armpit - but that was definitely not something she was going to do.

"Too strung up?" Kagome whirled on the girl angrily. "You do realize that you'll probably be going through the same thing, don't you!"

"I want kids," the other girl replied simply enough, deflating some of her friend's righteous anger.

Kagome pouted just so slightly, turning away. "I do too, but that's not the point here!"

"Uh-huh." Sango flipped a page, whistling softly. "Hey, apparently dog youkai can purr."

"I know." Petulantly.

"Really? Inuyasha doesn't purr. I wonder why they purr? Oh, here it is - Fanon concept. I wonder what that means?"

"It's theoretical in nature," Kagome supplied testily. "Didn't you read the glossary?"

"I didn't know you did," she evaded the question with an offensive strike, smirking slightly as her companion colored.

"Well - boredom…" she excused herself with a little mumble, staring intently at the desklamp. Sango shook her head, glancing out the window as something caught her eye.

"Hmm, a car pulled up. Looks like your husb--fiancé is home."

Kagome whirled sharply, eyes glinting with fervor. "Oh?"

"Oh, wait. It's Bankotsu." Surprised, Sango dropped the book and walked over to the window to peer down. "Maybe you should see what he wants? I'm not sure it'll be a good idea for me to--"

"You mean you don't want to deal with your ex," Kagome supplied dryly.

Sango lifted her chin haughtily. "If he is only here to speak to Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru, I rather think he should do so painlessly, without having to see me. That's all."

"Uh-huh." Kagome rolled her eyes as she walked out of the study. "Of course, lady innocence."

- - -

She crossed her arms, seething at the wait. 'Kirishima-sama wishes to speak with you'! Kagome scowled. If he really wanted to speak with me, why is he making me wait? Him and his arrogance! And why couldn't he come home to speak with me anyway!

Fume. Seethe. Snarl at the poor guy standing at attention beside the large, oaky-looking-metal-sounding (at least when tapped on) door.

Then when that door finally opened to admit her, Kagome stormed inside and slammed it behind her, not wanting the bodyguards to hear her rant and rave like a fishwife.

"Pregnant? Do you honestly think I'm going to let you do that to me?" she yelled, advancing on the desk. "I really don't look forward to being pregnant the rest of my life! And don't you start protesting, because Nanda told me everything! Absolutely everything! I don't want fifty kids. She has twenty and she's still three months pregnant. That has to be illegal, and what if I'm infertile anyway? Then what are you going to do, find some scientific way to get me pregnant? And besides, who said I ever wanted to be with you forever anyway?"

She took a deep breath, about to launch into her second paragraph, when the poor man questioned, "Kikyou?"

Kagome paused, eyes finally focusing past her rage upon the Sesshoumaru-look-alike sitting so composedly at a desk she'd certainly never seen before. Sesshoumaru-look-alike, except he didn't have Fluffy - er, the scar - on his eyebrow. And his face was a little leaner, as though he were… ill?

"Kago-" she was about to correct, before stuttering to a halt. Oh, dear. Was this Sesshoumaru's father? Bankotsu certainly hadn't specified that Sesshoumaru had called for her… what had he said? Oh, yes, 'Kirishima-sama'. Oops.

And wasn't she supposed to… well, not speak with the man?

"Um," she mumbled, glancing over her shoulder. "I think I should be…"

"You look rather peaked," he continued blandly, as though he hadn't heard her tirade at all. "I suppose that son of mine hasn't been making sure your needs have been looked after. Obviously you should stay here until the wedding - can't have you looking this sickly when you walk the aisle as his bride."

"Sickly?" she asked, feeling her stomach roll nauseously. Yes, she certainly felt sick right now.

"We shall have a room prepared for you immediately, and I will expect your presence at dinner." His critical eye looked her over. "Shirei Kikyou disappeared, I take it?"

Blink. Blink.

"Who?"

"Hmm, your predecessor. Well, no matter. I expect you at dinner and we shall speak then." He opened a drawer and began lining up various bottles. "I won't be done taking medication until then."

Blink, blink, blinkityblinkityblinkblinkblink. That was a lot of medicine. And hadn't dinner already passed?

"… you are dismissed," Kirishima pointed out gently enough, motioning toward the door.

Kagome turned slowly, wondering just what had transpired and - well, why - only to have her thought processes very rudely stopped as Sesshoumaru materialized in front of her.

And it had to be Sesshoumaru, because no one quite held her arm in a bruising grip like he did.

"Oh, hello…" she offered awkwardly, feeling herself tilt a little to the side. Didn't she have something she wanted to say to him? … she'd forgotten.

"Father," he announced blandly. "I believe Kikyou is not feeling well, and I will gladly accept your offer of hospitality for her until she feels better."

"Of course, Sesshoumaru." The words were slightly garbled as he guzzled some water and a few pills. "Though that isn't Shirei Kikyou, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't think I was a fool." Pause. "She's a virgin, but I smell children on her. Why?"

Twitch. Oh yes, she felt him twitch. Perhaps his absolutely-cannot-be-broken-ice-façade had a weakness after all - his father. "… Brothers," he admitted tersely.

"I see."

"Brother," she corrected primly. After all, Kohaku was Sango's brother.

"Ah, very good." Kirishima toasted her with a tilt of his waterglass, looking at his son in amusement. "Can't even get control of your second fiancée?"

"It was an honest mistake," Sesshoumaru gritted out.

"His name is Souta!" Kagome cheerfully pitched in. "Wonderful kid, though he makes messes with chocolate. Kids tend to do that, I've noticed."

"Ah, yes. Sesshoumaru was the same when he was younger. Inuyasha, too." A fond smile crossed Kirishima's face as he leaned back in his chair, medication temporarily forgotten. "The stories I could tell you…"

"Did they play in mud?" she questioned, honestly curious. Sesshoumaru's grip tightened.

"Oh, several times. I recall once where Inuyasha managed to shove Sesshoumaru's face in the dirt, too." He laughed. "The first time, but not the last, where they'd scuffle a bit. Once Sesshoumaru even came home missing an arm. What a fighter, that Inuyasha."

"Hmm, let's just hope he doesn't teach his kids worrisome habits." Kagome frowned. "I'm not sure Sango would appreciate it."

"Sango?"

"His wife," she explained - again helpfully - as Sesshoumaru's grip tightened again. Very painfully, in fact.

"Wife? And that ungrateful son of mine doesn't bother informing his father of the fact!" He thumped on the arm of his chair angrily. "Why, after all I've done…"

"He didn't even invite you to the ceremony," she commiserated.

"Much less tell me he found a woman to mate with! They are mated, I assume?"

"Absolutely smitten. Bitten. Or something." Kagome nodded.

"Very good, very good! I shall have to pay that ungrateful son of mine a visit. Hah! Ignoring his poor decrepit father the way he has!"

"Cruel," she agreed.

Sesshoumaru began inching toward the door, dragging his erstwhile fiancée with him. "Father, if you may excuse us…"

"Go on, go on. But I need to have a talk with you and that brother of yours later! Not inviting me to a ceremony - hah!"

"Of course…" Sesshoumaru agreed between gritted teeth as Kagome curtsied beautifully.

"I'll visit you soon, father-in-law-to-be!" she chirped, while being dragged forcefully out the door.

"Don't forget to tell that wretched son about your pregnancy!" he called out helpfully before the door slammed, then began growling about his sons all over again.

Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru curiously. "Really, your father is such a nice man. Why didn't you want me to see him before?"

He glared at her. "How was I supposed to know he'd take to you? Oh, wait - you're a madwoman. Clearly he sees an affinity in you."

She gasped. "Madwoman?"

"Yes." He shoved her into the arms of a passive guardsman with a growled, "get her outofmysight. And bring Inuyasha to my office. Immediately."

Just before he turned to leave - ignoring the sputterings of poor Kagome - Sesshoumaru turned and frowned at her. "You're not pregnant."

"Of course I'm not!"

He arched a brow. "Father said--"

Kagome gasped again. "That's right, pregnant! Sesshoumaru, you lowlife creep, I can't believe you never bothered telling me you were going to keep me pregnant for the rest of my natural life!" Her voice raised to a near-shriek, though the bodyguard stayed passively still - which would definitely earn him a raise later, if Sesshoumaru ever remembered to do that. "How could you keep such a secret from me? I never said I wanted to be with you for life!"

His eye twitched slightly, but Sesshoumaru managed to say - with commendable restraint, "I never said we would share a bed, did we?"

Pause. Blink.

"Oh. Right."

Sesshoumaru ignored her then, turning sharply on his heel and making his way to his office. Really, getting married was such an arduous ordeal.