FORTY WAYS TO SCARE A NINJA

This Season's Issue: Forty ways to scare off Uchiha Sasuke

1) Sell his underwear on eBay

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (takes Sasuke's underwear) OH! PENGUIN UNDIES! X3 (sells underwear on eBay)

Sasuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY PENGUIN UNDIES! TT.TT

2) Glomp him

E.G: Me: OMG! UCHIHA SASUKE! X3

Sasuke: …not more fan girls…

Me: (glomps him)

Sasuke: O.o (is glomped) YIPE!

3) Call him a duck butt emo (thankiez 'The Goddess of the Madhouse')

E.G: Me: OMG! IT'S DUCK BUTT EMO!

Sasuke: …what?

4) Call him emo

E.G: Me: OMG! IT'S UCHIHA EMO!

Sasuke: ARGH! GHOSTS OF MY COUSINS ARE HAUNTING ME!

Me: You have a cousin called emo?

Sasuke: YEP X3

Me: …

5) Do the chicken dance on his head

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (puts on dancing shoes)

Sasuke: (is humming to himself)

Me: (pounces on his head)

Sasuke: WHAT THE-

Me: (starts dancing like a chicken on his head)

Sasuke: ARGH!

6) Throw him in a pile of fan girls

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (sneaks up behind Sasuke)

Sasuke: (whistling to self)

Me: NYA! (nabbs Sasuke)

Sasuke: O.o

Me: (holds him up in front of fan girls)

Sasuke: have mercy TT.TT

Me: >:3 (tosses Sasuke in)

Sasuke: ARGH!

7) Sell him to a crazy fan girl

E.G: Me: (ties up Sasuke and drags him to auction building) HERE YE, HERE YE, BUY THE UCHIHA SASUKE HERE!

Fan Girls: (squeal in delight and rush over to booth)

Me: I hear 5,000 grand...10,000 grand...10 million! YES! Sold to the rich bit- I mean,rich...fan... (hands Sasuke over to fan girl and gets money)

Rich Bit...fan: YOUR MINE UCHIHA SASUKE! (maniacal laughter)

Sasuke: (shreiks like a little girl) SAVE ME!

Me: I'M RICH, I'M RICH X3

8) Tell him Kakashi sensei has thick lips

E.G: Me: I'VE SEEN KAKASHI'S FACE! X3

Sasuke: REALLY!

Me: yep...he's got...

Sasuke: (listens intently)

Me: THICK LIPS!

Sasuke: (imagines Kakashi with thick lips from episode 101) ARGH! (faints)

Me: ...sissy...

9) Dress up as his mum for haloween

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (buys a Sasuke's mum outfit) (wears it) (goes to Uchiha mansion) (rings door bell)

Sasuke: Coming... (opens door)

Me: HI HONEY X3

Sasuke: THUD! (faints)

Me: BWAHAHAHAHA!

10) Make him read a Sasu x Naru rated M fanfic

E.G: Me: (finds a Sasu x Naru rated M fanfic) HEY SASUKE...

Sasuke: ...what now?

Me: read this (points to screen)

Sasuke: (opens and reads) ARGH! MY EYES! MY LITTLE VIRGIN EYES!

11) Tell him Orochimaru records him in the shower (...freaky...)

E.G: Sasuke: (getting ready to take a shower)

Me: DON'T GO IN THERE!

Sasuke: ...why?

Me: Orochimaru films you...

Sasuke: ... (faints)

12) Record him singing to 'Sk8r Boi' by Avril Lavigne

E.G: Sasuke: (singing) HE WAS A SK8R BOI, SHE SAID CYA LATER BOI,

Me: ARGH! (covers ears and plots revenge) (takes out camera and films him singing into a brush) (sells it for 1,000 grand)

Sasuke: (whistling down the street) (people whisper about him and point fingers) (gets curious and finds a billoboard of himself singing) ARGH! (faints)

13) Tell Lee he made out with Sakura

E.G: Me: Lee...I have some very unyouthful news for you...

Lee: NO! WHAT IS IT!

Me: SASUKE MADE OUT WITH SAKURA!

Lee: I'LL YOUTHFULLY KILL THAT UNYOUTHFUL SCUM! (sets out to kill Sasuke)

Sasuke: (shreiks like a little girl and flees for his life)

14) Buy him a green spandex and orange leg warmers after the incident

E.G: Me: HI SASUKE (-insert little heart here-)

Sasuke: ...not you...

Me: I HAVE A PREZZIE X3

Sasuke: ...joy...

Me: (pulls out Lee uniform)

Sasuke: (shreiks like a girl and faints)

15) Burn his teddy

E.G: Sasuke: I LOVE YOU MR. TEDDY X3 (hugs his teddy)

Me: ...freaky...

Sasuke: (puts Mr. Teddy by his bed and goes to train)

Me: hmmmm... (plots evil)

Sasuke: (comes back to find Mr. Teddy burnt to a crisp) (shreiks like a girl and faints)

Me: where do all the men learn how to shreik like that?

16) Invite Orochimaru over to the Uchiha mansion for tea and cookies

E.G: Me: (on phone) HEY ORO! You wanna come over to the Uchiha mansion for tea and cookies?

Orochimaru: (over the phone) SURE X3 (goes to the Uchiha mansion and has tea and cookies)

Sasuke: (walks in) YIPE! (faints)

17) Tell him Sakura has pictures of him naked in her room

E.G: Sasuke: (is about to knock on Sakura's bedroom door)

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sasuke: ...?

Me: She has pictures of you naked on her walls...

Sasuke: (faints)

18) Shave his head

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (gets out razor)

Sasuke: (is asleep)

Me: (smirks evilly and shaves his head)

Sasuke: (wakes up and looks in bathroom mirror) (faints)

Me: BE A MAN AND STOP FAINTING!

19) Set his butt on fire

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (takes out a lighter and puts it to Sasuke's butt)

Sasuke: (sniffs the air) is something bur- ARGH! MY BUTT! (runs around in chibi circles with a burning butt)

20) Squeeze him like a squeaky toy until he pops

E.G: Me: SASUKE! (squeezes Sasuke like a squeaky toy)

Sasuke: O.o (pops)

21) Steal Kakashi's Icha Icha book and put itSasuke's his pocket

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (steals Kakashi's book and puts in Sasuke's pocket

Kakashi: ARGH! WHERE...IS...MY...BOOK! (holds Me up by the collar)

Me: (points to Sasuke)

Kakahsi: ARGH! (chases Sasuke with the Chidori)

Me: YIPE! (bolts)

22) Show him a picture of Itachi naked (Itachi fan girls drool)

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (sends Sasuke evil pictures)

Sasuke: (goes through mail and finds a letter other than bills) (opens it) ARGH! MY EYES! MY EYES! (screams echo through out Konoha)

Me: Ah...music to my ears...

23) Force him to listen to Opera

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (gets out head set and starts playing opera)

Sasuke: (asleep on chair)

Me: (grins evilly and puts on the headset)

Sasuke: (wakes up) NO! (tries to take them off but they are glued to his face >:3)

24) Make him watch Barney (the ULTIMATE sin)

E.G:

25) Make Naruto use SEXY NO JUTSU on him

E.G: Sasuke: (flipping through channels)

Me: (pops in out of nowhere) HI!

Sasuke: ...

Me: GIMME THE CONTROLS! (snatches controls)

Sasuke: HEY!

Me: (flips to Barney)

Sasuke: NO!

Me: (grins evilly and breacks the controls)

Sasuke: NO! I AM BOUND TO WATCH BARNEY FOR ALL ETERNITY! ARGH!

26) Unleash fan BOYS on him

E.G: Me: (rallys fan BOYS)

Sasuke: (gulps)

Me: (grins evilly and unleashes fan BOYS on him)

Sasuke: (shreiks like a girl and runs away in a puff of smoke)

27) Ask Neji to steal his remaining penguin undies

E.G: Me: HI NEJI X3 (-insert heart here-)

Neji: ...(translation: HEY! X3 (-insert heart here)

Me: LETS BURN SASUKE'S PENGUIN UNDIES X3

Neji: ...(translation: YEY! X3)

Me and Neji: (burn Sasuke's undies)

Sasuke: NO! MR. UNDIES!

Me: ...you name your undies?

Sasuke: (nods sadly)

Me and Neji: ...(translation: ...)

28) Tell Tenten he stalks her

E.G: Me: TENTEN-CHAN! X3

Tenten: NoCareChakara-chan! X3

Me: I have bad news TT.TT

Tenten: what?

Me: Sasuke stalks you...

Tenten: ARGH! (chases Sasuke with fire in her eyes)

Sasuke: (runs for his puny little life whilst screaming like a girl)

29) Make him wear a dress

E.G: Me: SASUKE X3

Sasuke: ARGH!

Me: I HAVE A PREZZIE X3

Sasuke: Stay back...GET AWAY!

Me: (pulls out a dress and forces him to wear it)

Sasuke: (faints)

30) Brush his duck butt hair (thankiez 'The Goddess of the Madhouse')

E.G: Me: ...Sasuke...

Sasuke: LEAVE ME ALONE DAMN IT! 0.-

Me: NO! I SHALL NOW BRUSH THAT DUCK BUTT HAIR OF YOURS! (pulls out brush and begins brushing his hair)

Sasuke: NO! TT.TT

31) Use a jutsu to make you big and step on him

E.G: Me: BIGNESS NO JUTSU! (becomes very very big)

Sasuke: (gulps)

Me: (grins evilly and smushes Sasuke)

Sasuke: O.o (is squished)

32) Sneak up behind him while he's watching Jaws

E.G: Sasuke: (is watching the intense part of Jaws)

Me: (Jaws theme starts playing whilst sneaking behind Sasuke)

Sasuke: (still watching Jaws and the intense part where Jaws emerges is coming up)

Me: (grins evilly) (screams boo on cue) BOO!

Sasuke: YIPE! (faints)

33) Bite his hand like a doggy and refuse to let go when he waves you about

E.G: Me: GRrrrrrrrrrr

Sasuke: ...?

Me: (bites his hand like a doggy)

Sasuke: ARGH! GET OFF ME! (waves his hand around and NoCareChakara is flailed around chibily)

34) Tell Kiba he kicked Akamaru

E.G: Me: KIBA! TT.TT

Kiba: NoCareChakara! What's wrong?

Me: (sniffs) Sasuke...kicked...Akamaru...

Kiba: WHAT! (goes off to kill Sasuke)

Sasuke: ARGH! PLEASE, HAVE MERCY! (runs away)

35) Ask Anko to eat all of his favorite cheese (wow, she must love cheese...)

E.G: Me: HI ANKO!

Anko: HI!

Me: Hey, can you eat all of Sasuke's favorite cheese?

Anko: YEY! MORE FREE CHEESE! (goes to Uchiha mansion and eats all of Sasuke's favorite cheese)

Sasuke: NO! MY PRECIOUS CHEESE! TT.TT

36) Make him give you a piggy back ride

E.G: Me: (leaps on Sasuke's back and kicks him like a pony) GIDDIE UP!

Sasuke: ARGH! (runs around all chibi like)

37) Show him his worst nightmare

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (buys a muffin costume and confronts Sasuke)

Sasuke: NO! MUFFINS HAVE GAINED THE INTELLEGENCE TO TALK! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!

38) Make fluffy squirrels attack him

E.G: Me: tee, he, he (finds squirrels and tells them of Sasuke's hate)

Chief Squirrel with funny chipmunk voice: NO! ALRIGHT MEN! LETS GET HIM! (squirrels charge at Sasuke)

Sasuke: ARGH! NOT THE FLUFFY TAILS OF DOOM!

39) Unleash 1,000 fan girls on him

E.G: Me: BWAHAHAHA! (is confronting Sasuke with 1,000 fan girls on a leash)

Sasuke: (gulps)

Me: SICK 'IM! (unleashes fan girls)

Sasuke: (screams like a girl and runs)

40) All of the Above

E.G: …

Me: I hope you enjoyed more torture X3

Sasuke: ...must...kill...NoCare...Chakara...

Me: LIKE YOU COULD!

BTW: NoCareChakara Me