So Jeanne wanted me to make a note of her overall redneckness, she does not have anger management problems except with her sewing machine, she does not follow me around like a puppy, and I am her loser.

Disclaimer: Yada yada I'm only writing this to save my butt from being sued by a sue-happy suer. I used to own me but apparently Jeanne has now claimed me in a non-lesbian way Jeanne says ewww lesbians, Jeanne owns herself, the mouse owns Jack. Poor Jack, he doesn't even own himself.

"So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word is the one I need and watch you sail away on my ship?" is exactly what came to Melissa mind when she entered the Captain's quarters. Except there was no Barbossa just Jack, which of course was fine with her. She heard Jeanne stifle a giggle, Melissa was trying to figure out what her friend found so funny when she spotted some broken glass shards on the ground undoubtly from Jeanne's makeshift weaponry.

Jack watched as the two young women sat down. Taking into notice that they had changed from their odd apparel that of which was quite exposing, into some "normal" clothes.

"You two have been on me ship for nigh a day and I still don't know your names." Jack said in a quizzical tone.

"I'm Melissa." said the taller of the two brunettes. "But according to the Internet my pirate name is Bloody Bess Rackhem" (pronounced RACKem) She took into note Jack's odd expression at the mentioning of the Internet but he seemed to have more important things to contemplate.

"You're such a dork." Jeanne added with a chuckle.

"And proud of it!" Melissa was saying until Jack cleared his throat drawing their attention back to reality.

Jeanne introduced herself resentfully and a typical introductory conversation ensued. Melissa took note that this must be in a time after the first movie but before the second. Also the two found out that they would be in the pirate port of Tortuga soon to restock.

When inquired about their place of origin Melissa made up a story of being from Ireland which wasn't all lies right, since her ancestors were from there. Before Jeanne could answer the question Melissa interjected that Jeanne was French and her father invented mayonnaise and humiliated grapes quite often by making raisins. After a quite glare from Jeanne the talk continued to drag on.

Jack seemed to be growing bored of this conversation until the one called Melissa mentioned Davy Jones. This will have to be looked into later on perhaps the girl had some information of value he thought to himself.

"Well then if you'll excuse me I do believe that there is rum with my name on it in the galley. Gibbs might think that women aboard a ship be bad luck but I have to disagree on that one. Since that so called merchant ship turned out to be rumrunners sailing under false colors, not very good smugglers if ye ask me. You're welcome to join me and me crew if you like there's plenty to go around." Jack said as he stood up motioning for the two girls to do the same.

"Heck yes!" shouted Melissa. She was quite ecstatic whenever she had a chance to drink.

"Drink first, ask questions later!" Jeanne chimed in.

"OWWW DAMMIT!" Jeanne hollered as she rammed her toe into the table leg. Having never drank that much unlike Melissa she was a complete lightweight. Well at least now Melissa can stop commenting on the fact that I'm in college and have never gotten wasted she thought to herself. She had tried the rum and upon finding it utterly disgusting she had made an effort to finding some whiskey. But it was a fruitless search so she had decided to make her own beverage, an odd mixture comparable to moonshine.

She made her way to the top deck of the ship once she realized that Melissa was going to sing along with the rest of the crew in the galley. Even though she had started singing the song called "Alcohol" by Brad Paisley.

Upon reaching the deck she tripped on a coil of rope and landed with a large oomph. She laid there a while unmoving then passed out.

"We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho." was heard all around in the galley of the Pearl.

Melissa had had one too many bottles of rum and was rather happy. Unfortunately for her, her depth perception goes completely out the window; so running into objects and people is par for the course. The way she had found her current seat was by running into it first.

She sat next to the captain and was quite happy about it. Who would've guess that some day she would have a chance to drink with her favorite drunk. She had noticed that her friend had wandered off and came to the decision that this adventure was about to get a whole lot better in her mind.

Leaning over towards Jack like she was about to tell him some big secret, a slight smile splayed across her face as she said in a low voice "Captain Jack Sparrow"

"Yes love?" he said as his attention turned to her.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish!" she said with the grin on her face getting ever bigger.

" I'm afraid that I'm goin' to have to take you up on that offer there." He bantered all the while leaning ever closer to her.

But before he could get any nearer to her she leapt from her chair and ran as fast as a drunk could to the top deck.

Jeanne was still sleeping soundly on the coil of ropes or at least she was until Melissa came flying up the stairs and tripped over her.

Melissa slid a few feet before landing at the base of a mast. Cursing her bad luck and lack of depth perception she rolled over onto her back.

She didn't move again for some time when she heard Jeanne cuss followed by a loud thud. In her drunken state of mind she couldn't figure out what had conspired but then she remembered that Jack had probably followed her up the stairs. Hearing a loud shout of "Oh Bloody Hell!" only confirmed her suspicions.

She could hear the man mumbling bloody tease and this never would have happened as he slowly got up and dusted himself off. She saw a hand put out to her in an offering of helping her up but shook her head.

"I'm going to sleep here for the night so just leave me lie." She mumbled.

Apparently the Captain could understand her mumbling and made his way to his cabin leaving the two girls lying on the deck. Jeanne must have decided that this was a good time to start a conversation because Melissa could hear her asking, "How the hell did we get here?"

"Well it is quite possible that there was a fluxion in the time space continuum that created a hole that dropped us here." Melissa said trying to sound smart but more or less sounding like a drunken idiot.

"I wasn't asking about that, I was asking about how I got on this damn coil of ropes on the top deck!" Jeanne argued.

But Melissa was paying no attention to this since the outsized amounts of alcohol had taken effect completely leaving her out cold on the deck of the Black Pearl.

Jeanne thinking this was a good idea also, rolled over and became dead to the world.

That was a long chapter for me. I hope that it's length makes up for it's lateness of being produced. In the next chapter I hope to actually start a plot line to this unorganized mess of a story.