I do not own Naruto. Thank you.

"Never bring a knife to a gun fight. Nor a kunai. Nor a shrukien. Hell, if we're talking about me, don't bring anything in general!"

-Garret Garrison, Illusion Breaker-

Garret's POV

Ok, you know those weird situations, where someone says something very disturbing, and everone's gaze suddenly converges on them like they just grew a second head? It was one of those situations. It was silent. I mean, DEAD quiet. So quiet, that I found it difficult not to sneeze and break the tension. Sadly, I never had much willpower.

"AAAAACCHHOOO!"

Yeah, you try working with gunpowder all of the time and we'll see how much crap you keep out of your nose.

This of course, DID NOT break the tension. Instead, the gazes (which were all as if they'd seen a ghost) suddenly shifted to me. Now, dont get me wrong, I love being the center of attention as much as anyone else, but again, with this awkwardness, I wasn't exactly comfortable, ya know?

"What? What the hell are you all looking at me for?"

Ok, so diplomacy isn't one of my strong points either. So sue me.

"N-naruto?" the pink haired ninja asked through a groan. Naruto just ignored her and ran up to the freaky eyed girl and began administering first aid. Of course, he wasn't exactly the best at that, but I was pretty good and taught him everything I know. Up to, and including, how to get a bullet out of your body. Actually, that was his lesson. He used chakra and all. I never got that crap, I prefer my precious custom .45, but hey, I'm not a ninja. What do I know?

That's when this Sasuke dude goes all stealthy and tries to sneak up behind Naruto. Bad idea. Ya see, I may not be the most serious dude on the planet, but Naruto and I have been tight since I found him near dead a few years back, so you can't blame me if I tried to blow his ass away.

However, I keep forgetting that both him and that Itachi bastard have that goddam Sharigan, and unless I will it, I'm not in Farseek mode. Which means I'm vulnarable to it. So next thing I know, I'm firing at air and I feel something hit me. HARD. I fall over, doubled over in pain as the Sharigan bastard numero uno goes to finish me off.

It never ceases to amaze me how fast fox boy there can move, but before the sharp, pointy object enters my neck and stops all forms of speech for moi, a orange and red blur shoots by and next thing I know, there's a nice fine mist of blood falling around me. Ew. Apparently, when a human is hit very hard in the midsection, sometimes they cough up blood. What'dya know, you DO learn something every day. Anyways, I hear a very deep growling and a strangled voice speak up. "N-naruto! It-it's m-me!" Sasuke manages to squeeze out. Second lesson of the day, being choked by a demon isn't comfortable either.

It's about then I had enough of it all and decided to just...speed things along with a rifle bullet.

Bad idea.

You see, I had no idea that the pink haired one was a medic ninja, nor that she was able to remove the bullet from herself while healing. So before I can adminster a dose of steel to Sasuke's dome, I'm seeing stars. Last thing I see before the black comes, is a very large ninetailed fox with a bloodstained muzzle tackling Pink there. And there I go.