Not Quite the Dream

When he had called it the dream scenario, it had been something of a joke that was intended to make her laugh and lighten the mood, but at its core it had been true. He wanted to go and he wanted to go with her. On a boat, to Nebraska, it really didn't matter. He just wanted to take her hand, leave this place, and never look back.

This was not exactly how he had planned it.

Jacob watched her put her bag down on the seat, gaze drifting out to the open water. Liz had a hood pulled up around her face and had barely said a word once they had gathered a few of her things and had set out. Reddington hadn't been happy with it, but it was the only way. Liz would leave with her ex husband and Jacob would make her disappear so that even Reddington wouldn't know exactly where they were. It would keep her safe, and that was really the only thing that the Concierge of Crime and his former employee agreed on: Elizabeth Keen must be protected at all costs.

The difference was that Jacob thought that she should be happy too, and he wasn't sure Reddington put quite as much stock in that.

"Hey," he said quietly, stepping up behind her, "I know this isn't ideal..."

"Just what you wanted, isn't it?"

He swallowed hard, pushing down the need to rise to the accusation and fight it. She was hurting and had lost everything. Again. He needed to remember to treat her with the care she deserved. To love her like she deserved. He had told her there were no strings attached to his apology, and he has meant it. He needed to keep meaning it, no matter the context between them.

"Not like this," he said, his voice gentle. "I didn't... Not like this."

Cooper's hands were tied by the Cabal, Liz's partner had been injured - he would live, but Jacob knew that she wanted to be there with him rather than sailing into hiding - and might face charges of his own for letting her escape, and she was on the run from the FBI. A wanted criminal. She was everything that she had once hated, and he could could see it weighing on her shoulders in the way she had set them so determinately back.

Liz snorted, gripping the side of the boat, staring hard at the horizon. Jacob stepped quietly around her, offering to take her bag below and coming back up without a word and starting the engine up. He risked a glance back at her and struggled with a thought before they left as words. "It's not forever, you know. Every organisation has a weak point. We just have to take it down and we'll clear your name."

She didn't say anything and he turned back to the task at hand, pulling the boat carefully away from the dock and starting them in their way. He had gotten them out of the harbor and had about decided that this was going to be a very quiet trip when arms encircled him from behind and he felt Liz press her cheek against his back. Her embrace tightened around his middle and he slowed their speed so he could take his hands off the wheel and turn. She held on hard, even as he wrapped his arms around her in turn and stroked her hair, just as he had a couple of night's before when she had showed up to his place.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking and she started to pull away.

Jacob caught her, pulling at all of his self control. "Hey, it's fine. No catch, remember? You need something, I'm here."

"Stop."

He blinked, genuinely confused.

"You sound so much like him."

"Him?"

"Tom," she whispered and her voice was almost lost to the waves.

Jacob grimaced a little. "A lot was true," he said softly.

"Red said... He said that you trying to be everything I needed was part of the act."

He snorted at that, rolling his eyes. "Reddington doesn't know me like he would like to think he does. Very few people do."

"Who does?" Liz asked and it looked like she was trying to focus on anything other than her own problems.

"Does what?"

"Know you well."

"Bud," Jacob said with a frown. "Sort of, anyway. Gina knows me pretty well." Liz made a face and it pulled a smile from him as he turned to start them back on course. "And you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I... When I'm on assignment I usually keep things pretty compartmentalised. It's the only way to do it, but I didn't with you. Whatever life I have outside of work bled into the job because of my... feelings for you. So, yeah, you know me better than most."

"Like what?"

He felt a little like he was under a magnifying glass with the way she was looking at him, but he really couldn't blame her. He had told her that he wanted her to know Jacob.

"Well," he said, digging through tidbits of facts he knew about himself. "I like to be home."

She snorted a laugh. "You don't have a home."

"Thanks for that reminder," he grumbled, shooting her a glare that was mostly teasing. "I just mean that when I had one, I liked being there. All those nights I just wanted to stay in and cook and be with you... No ulterior motive."

Her smile turned a little sly. "Yeah? None at all?"

"Okay, so maybe a little," he chuckled and she rolled her eyes.

"Naked boat thing," she sighed. "Such a guy."

He shrugged. "Got you to laugh, didn't I?"

Her smile turned a little more real. "Guess you did."

Jacob offered her a lopsided smile of his own and looked out ahead. It was getting late and he wanted to get them out far enough that no one would come out looking for them while they slept. Or, while she slept. He had a feeling that that was going to be another particular dance that they did. "So, if you want to go get some sleep, I'll stay up here and keep us from crashing into anything," he offered.

"When did you learn to drive a boat, anyway?"

"Uh… when I was… seventeen, maybe?"

"And you didn't think about learning how to swim at that point?"

Jacob chuckled, but the memory that came to mind was anything but pleasant. "If anything, that whole fiasco kept me from ever wanting to learn."

"Tell me the story?"

"Lizzy, it's late."

"And you told me that you wanted me to get to know Jacob." She smiled, leaning against the side of the control panel and crossing her arms, eyes fixed on him. "So, Jacob, tell me all about your adventure in learning how to drive a boat but not learning how to swim."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye for several long seconds before finally shaking his head and cracking a smile. "Okay. You asked for it," he warned and surprisingly enough she grinned and settled into one of the seats to listen to him talk about one of his bouts of training for a specific assignment with a couple of other operatives that were the closest things to friends he'd had as a teenager. One of them and he had a sometimes dangerous competition going between them and Jacob had been the one to catch the short end of it on that outing as he had been tossed off the boat going at full speed, hitting the water hard enough to leave some pretty nasty bruises after. He'd nearly drowned, barely staying afloat until they circled back around and he had just about pummeled the other teen when they got onto solid ground.

Liz sat through the whole story, never fussing at him or even judging him on it as far as he could tell. She was just listening, soaking it in. After it was done she sat staring at him for a long while, and he felt like she could see more than anyone else. Like he was an open book for her to read. Jacob stood, purposefully trying to keep his usual walls down to let her in in whatever capacity made her more comfortable.

Finally, after a long stretch of silent study, the woman he had given everything up for stepped forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Good night, Jacob."

"G'night, Liz," he whispered as she turned and started down into the cabin, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Notes: While it's going to drive me crazy that for any current stories from his POV, I'll officially need to start calling him Jacob, I was thoroughly squealing like the fangirl that I am when he asked Liz to call him Jacob. Squealing.

I'm really hoping that they run together on the boat in the season finale because I have pieces of a multichapter unfolding in my mind for that, starting with this little piece.