AN: A little change from the original idea. I was going to begin the journals from Lupin's mother's pov, however it is just going to be from his own. I hope it is still enjoyable. Also this chapter and all other journal chapters are bonus chapters and will only be Charlie's pov as he is the one reading them. The rest of the story is normal but these special chapters are Charlie's and Remus's.
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Dearest friend,
March, 1967. Today I overheard yet another fight with mum and dad. Dad just really doesn't seem to like me anymore since I became a monster. Two years and he still is angry with me I think, mum says he's angry at himself because he blames himself but I'm not sure anymore.
Today is my 7th birthday and mum tried to have a party but we just sat around waiting because nobody came. I wish I had friends but that isn't going to happen. Sometimes I wish to run away and maybe I could find others like me and they would be my friends but it would hurt mummy so I stay.
I keep thinking each month the pain will get better when I change but it never does. Dad keeps trying to come up with a potion or charm that will either stop me changing or make it safe but so far none of it works. Mum got hold of something Muggles take for pain called Morphine. She's a muggle herself so she went to the doctor and said something about a painful condition she made up and he gave her this medicine. She gave it to me half an hour before the change hoping to take away the pain but it didn't react the way she hoped.
It made me crazy instead. It took away some pain but when I changed I kept trying to scratch my skin off, I also almost got my baby sister. I think if that happened I would've killed her but then myself too once I wasn't crazy anymore. Dad said no more morphine even if it did help the pain.
He also decided that until there is a cure he's going to build me a cottage for the night of the change. Probably isn't going to be much fun but he's going to charm it so I can't get out as the wolf. He'll take me there and then put up charms so I can't get out and then in the morning he'll release them again.
It sounds like jail to me. Going to sleep now, goodnight my only friend.
Remus Lupin monster.
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Charlie closed the journal feeling sad for his lost friend. At least if he is a werewolf he has so much support in his family and he's an adult. Remus had a very lonely existence before Hogwarts. He had read through all the journals from his mother when Remus was too young to write them and then it became much more fascinating once he was old enough to write them himself even if the journals were somewhat juvenile at that point. Remus was still a very intelligent boy and that was obvious in his thinking even then. Sort of reminded Charlie of Mia a bit.
At the thought of her he smiled to himself. They had a second date that he had planned and although it was still platonic they were getting to know each other much better and he found himself infatuated with her himself, without the wolfy input.
He'd also caught her watching him a few times with a thoughtful expression on her face when she thought he wasn't paying attention. The last time he couldn't help but look up at her and give her a cheeky wink, the resulting blush turned her cheeks the most charming shade of pink.
They couldn't go for the long walks they took before Australia anymore but they still walked every evening just inside the Fidelius boundaries. That meant they did several laps but he didn't mind as long as it meant time with his Mia getting to know her.
Dates were going to be an issue as well. They couldn't go on a whole lot of them anymore because of safety so the last one, his plan, he had talked to Emma who had become a very good source of information and she helped him plan something for the two of them.
She made a lunch up of Mia's favorite picnic food from when she was little and they went to the lake and set everything up that morning.
While Em set the blanket and radio up Charlie set to work on the lake. He froze it solid and then transfigured a couple of small rocks into ice skates and set them on the blanket.
When he brought her to their date she had giggled in excitement and jumped at him to hug him tightly talking about how much she loved skating. He was proud of himself for creating a great date that got her mind off her current troubles. They had a wonderful day and stayed there late into the night skating, eating, talking.
When it was sunny they watched clouds finding shapes and laughing and that night they laid there after she was too tired to skate anymore and watched the stars. She had leaned her head close enough that their heads were touching as they talked.
He was sorry it ended but she had fallen asleep and he decided as much as he enjoyed laying there with her it was better for her to sleep in her bed. He woke her up and they released the charm on the water and collected the basket and blanket and walked back inside. She kissed his cheek, thanked him, and said good night.
That was three days ago and she was currently sneaking off with Bill every once in a while saying it was her turn to plan and "nose out!" Which of course made him laugh at her cheek.
His mind turned to that letter she had gotten. His rage began to take over as it always did when he thought of it but he worked to control it as he tried yet again to think of a new angle.
He would protect his little mate, his Mia from whoever tried to hurt her. He would make sure they paid for her fear and the few panic attacks she'd had since being back at the Burrow. He didn't want her living the rest of her life under war conditions and safety precautions when they were supposed to be free now.
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Sighing in frustration Charlie decided to floo to the reserve in Romania and talk with his boss. He wasn't looking forward to the meeting but it was passed time that he addressed his situation. He decided to resign his position working with dragons. If he did change the dragons would sense the wolf and it was too dangerous to continue and if he didn't change, he was still drawn too much to Mia now to let go. So he would want to stay with her anyway and it was time to let go of his old life.
Once things were safer he would look for a new job and house here in England although he didn't fancy living in London, he would still prefer countryside and hopefully a wizard village. Godric's Hollow, and Hogsmeade were his favorite choices so far but he was still researching options.
After the answer came about his wolf status he would make the final choice with Mia so that she could help decide that part of their life too.
Shaking his head and returning to the present he walked to the fireplace and tossed in floo powder. Walking into it and calling out for the reserve he left the Burrow to bring closure to one part of his life that he could control.
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AN: So this is what the bonus chapters will be like. Just short little trips into Remus and Charlie's views and thinking. They won't be as long as regular chapters but still informative. Hope you enjoy the bonuses. Show some love with reviews please, I love hearing your opinions.
