Hey this is Melissa typing what Jeanne is saying so in a way this is Jeanne. Hi! Not really though I'm at college. So this chapter is going to be really boring because all we are doing is sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing, sailing. But it won't be as bad as my college is. We'll spare you that torture. Don't worry you people who read the disclaimers I'll be back soon.

Okay this is Melissa now and I hope everyone had a good Talk Like a Pirate Day! I went to the pirate festival last weekend and had a blast. There was a bunch of Captain Jack wannabes there and unfortunately none of them were good-looking. Oh well and I just thought that I would let everyone know that I'm sitting in my full pirate garb whilst typing this.

Disclaimer: No suey my butty! I own the plot and my weird mind garble. Jeanne owns herself and me. That cursed mouse owns Jack.

Cue sailing montage!

Melissa awoke that morning with a kink in her neck. She sat up on the crate massaging her neck and muttered " Note to self, crates do not make good mattresses."

She brushed a piece of hair out of her face as she got onto her feet. The greasy strand of hair reminded her that she been without a shower for a week. Grimacing at that thought she pulled her hair up with a loose piece of cloth, she would not be able to go on much longer without a bath of some sort.

She ventured out into the hallway and made her way onto the top deck. She climbed up the stairs and spotted her friend immediately. "I see that the rodeo got a little rough last night." She said pointing to a bruise on Jeanne's wrist as she popped up beside her friend.

"I should be asking you the same question Snuggles." Jeanne remarked with a smirk while referring to the welt on Melissa's collarbone.

"Oh that. Jack and me were just sparring last night and I lost… As always." She said nonchalantly.

"Right, call it whatever you want I know what really went down last night." Jeanne sarcastically teased. "I ain't no dummy." She added with a southern drawl.

Rolling her eyes Melissa pushed her friends ridiculing aside and asked "So what boring chores are we to do today mi amiga?"

Apparently there was no cook onboard and the crew had a rotation of this chore amongst themselves. And since the two girls had been doing random hand jobs about the ship they had now been appointed the new chefs.

The Black Pearl's kitchen would have been a comfortable size if it weren't for all the crates and barrels full of foodstuff crowding it. The two companions were having a heck of a time trying to find what was were and resorted to the age old method of trial and error. Now opening random containers might seem a bad idea to most but Melissa and Jeanne had made a game out of it and it was proving to be pretty amusing.

"Ewww! What the hell is this stuff?" Jeanne said holding up a round rock like piece of food. "Is this even edible?"

"That would be hardtack my friend and unfortunately it is edible. It's just old hardened bread like a crouton except in rock form." Melissa joked. She screamed and half-backed half-run away from the barrel she had just opened.

"What?" Jeanne asked with a quizzical look. She carefully approached the barrel as if something were waiting there to jump out at her. Peering over the rim of the drum she looked inside and sighed. "My God woman. You weird vegetarians." She taunted while pulling out a piece of heavily salted raw meat.

"Eeewwww. How can you touch that assmeat? It's disgusting and utterly repulsive." Melissa was beginning to freak out and headed for the door away from the dead animal meat.

"Aw come on. Meat is good it wants to be your friend." Jeanne said while cutting off Melissa's exit and hanging the meat in her friends face.

"Get that carcass away from me!" Melissa practically screamed in desperation. She tried to get away from the meat but Jeanne began chasing her. Jeanne finally corned her friend but to her dismay Melissa was cowering right next to the crate of hardtack.

Using the environment to her advantage she hurled the hardened bread at Jeanne. This resulted in Jeanne throwing the piece of meat at Melissa. She screamed bloody murder chucked more barely edible bread at Jeanne. Ten seconds later there was an all out war in the kitchen of the Pearl between hardtack and some kind of meat.

Meanwhile Jack and Gibbs were passing by the kitchen, conversing when they heard the clanging of pots and pans aided by the noise of two screaming girls. Deciding to investigate they walked to the door, Gibbs being brave opened the door. A scene of chaos was revealed to the two men. Melissa was covered in meat and salt and was still throwing hardtack across the room towards the door where Jeanne was hunched over hiding behind the barrel of meat. Stale bread and crumbs surrounded Jeanne.

"STOP IT!" Jack hollered failing his arms about for emphasis.

Now there is one thing about Melissa that you need to know, once she has set her mind to something there is no stopping her. Currently she had her mind set on hitting Jeanne with another bread missile. Jeanne ducked and the hard projectile kept flying past its mark finding a new target, Jack.

It hit the side of his face and the room fell silent fast. He brushed off the crumbs from his jacket looked up and inquired "How in the bloody buggerin' hell did this happen?"

The only answer to that question was a slab of meat hitting the other side of Jack's face and slowly sliding down it.

"Dinner is served!" Jeanne yelled starting up a festival of giggles.

With a shudder and a look of distaste he opened his mouth about to say something when L.J. cut him off.

"What happened in here? Did a cow explode?" he said peeking through the doorframe. To this Jeanne and Melissa began to roll around on the floor laughing.

Jack didn't find the situation too funny though. "Your bonnie lass and her friend here were-"

Jeanne cut him off before he could finish saying "Dude we were having a food fight."

Melissa just added "DUDE!"

Jeanne replied "Duuude."

"Dude!"

"Dude!"

This went on for a short bit until Melissa and Jeanne burst out laughing again. The only thing that brought the laughter to an abrupt halt was Jack clearing his throat.

L.J. noticed Jack's stern glare towards the two girls and tried to avoid the situation from getting worse by saying "Uh Jeanne I just remembered there was something I needed to show you."

Jeanne got up and left her friend alone with the furious Captain and Gibbs.

"Kinky!" Melissa shouted after Jeanne causing another spout of laughter to erupt.

"Mister Gibbs please find someone to clean this mess of up. And as for you" Jack said pointing to Melissa " we need to talk." With that he made his leave and expected her to follow him.

She had always wished to be invited to the Captain's quarters alone but for some reason she didn't think this was going to be like she had wished it would.

Dun dun dun… If anyone is wondering out there it is true. I really am a vegetarian. I plan on playing with that fact later in the story. Any who I am talking on the phone with Jeanne and she wanted me to mention that she is the best cook in the world. (In the world my ass she's been living off of cereal for three weeks) Please review! I will get the chapters up faster if there are lots of reviews!