Disclaimer: The mouse owns Jack to do God knows what with him. Jeanne owns herself and me, but I'm trying to get emancipated. Jeanne keeps having kinky dreams which I have found amusing. For some reasons her dreams include me and Jack always interrupting her and her cowboy with our own innocent doings. For some reason I spilt red wine on Jeanne's white carpet and man-eating goats were eating some chick in other dreams. One thing seems odd to me, is it weird that your best friend is having kinky dreams where you get everywhere and she gets nowhere? Well there is a point to this rambling; her dreams have inspired the ending to this chapter. Jeanne says howdy by the way. Be warned this might not make much sense since I am on a whole lot of drugs from being sick and then having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics.

"You Miss Melissa are a nuisance. You have been on MY ship for nigh on two weeks now and look at the mayhem you and that bloody friend of yours have caused!" Jack yelled his patience had obviously run out.

Jack stood both hands supporting him on his desk and at the butt of his temper opposite him was Melissa seated ever so precariously. She had been thoroughly lectured by now so all that was left was the closing arguments.

Unfortunately Melissa is the kind of person that always has to have the last word; apparently she always forgot how much trouble this habit has caused her. "Yes, yes, yes all well and done. Are you quite finished yet for this seems to be a repetitious conversation?" she said being a smartass.

"No. I'm not finished yet." He said with a slow smile spreading across his lips. He walked behind the chair which Melissa was sitting in and grasped both sides of the back of it.

Finally this trip is turning in my favor! She thought feeling excitement and anticipation well up inside of her.

"I have two things left for you." He said smoothly practically whispering it in her ear. With a single motion he effortlessly tipped her chair backwards while sidling out of the way.

A loud thud signaled when Melissa hit the ground rather ungracefully along with her chair.

"That being one and the other being that I expect you and your badgering friend to pump out the bilges on the morrow. Now I believe I am finished." Jack smirked.

Rubbing the back of her head she stood up, looked the Captain in the eye, and whispered, "You really want to become a eunuch don't you?" Then she took her leave, satisfied with her reference to the gelding ability of Jeanne.

Melissa had no intention of sleeping on crates again tonight and was now daring to go back to her closet-like room. She recalled Jeanne telling her that she and L.J. were going to play Go Fish right before Melissa was briefed on how she was a pest.

Go Fish my ass. She thought to herself. She was still in disbelief that she was seriously considering to go back to her room. Walking unsteadily down the dark hallway she finally found the door to the dreaded area. Pressing her ear up against the door she could hear nothing, a good sign. Opening up the door she was in shock of what she saw. LJ. and Jeanne were playing Go Fish.

"Do you have any sevens?" Jeanne asked when they noticed Melissa standing in the doorway.

"Mind if I join in?" was the only thing Melissa could muster.

An hour later there was a heated tournament of Go Fish happening aboard the Black Pearl. Melissa and Jeanne were winning leaving L.J. the loser.

"You got any twos?" Melissa inquired.

"Go Fish. So what did you and lover boy discuss? Or did you just play tonsil hockey?" Jeanne replied.

"Damn! Yeah I wish we had a riveting round of tonsil hockey. No, in fact we have to clean out the bilges tomorrow." Melissa said as she drew another card.

"What! I didn't do anything to deserve that and what the hell does cleaning the bilges involve?" she voiced whilst setting down her cards.

"It's a very smelly chore and it is going to suck monkey ass so I suggest you don't find out what it is until tomorrow. Man at one point in the conversation I thought we were going to play hockey. Though God hates me so it never happened."

"You do realize that Jack is only going to keep giving you this attention until you hand over what that man whore wants from all women." L.J. added.

Melissa was shocked that L.J. actually said something intelligent and showing that he was actually something more than Jeanne's sex slave. (Jeanne wanted me to replace that with something else like lapdog but I'm too much of a narcissist too change it.) "Aw but he's so cute. Trust me I realize this and I plan on keeping my bargaining tool so the attention continues. Oh and before I forget Jack called you a slutty whore just in a little different wording Jeanne." She said knowing how to rightfully enrage her friend. Maybe it is a bad thing to toy with your friend's temper but for Melissa this is how she was going to get payback.

"WHAT! That good for nothing bastard is going to pay." Jeanne grumbled as she stomped out the door. L.J. gave Melissa a look saying what have you done? and then he followed after the angry woman.

Melissa took some time to put the cards away before heading upstairs to see what damaged her friend had reigned. Calmly collecting herself and dusting off her pants she made her way above deck with a grim smile on her face.

She walked into the Captain's quarters to find Jeanne, L.J., and Jack. To her dismay she walked in right when Jeanne punched him in the nose not holding back anything. He toppled backwards to ironically hit a leg of the chair he had tipped Melissa in. A sickening thump was made when his head met the leg and he was out cold.

Melissa ran over to his limp body and held his head in her hands shouting "His beautiful face! You've broken him! Why did you do this?"

"Hey he started it." Jeanne said with a shrug.

Then hearing the commotion the helmsmen who had that shift came in on the scene to say "Not again. Gibbs c'mon in here quick!"

Jeanne could only mutter "Not again, shit."