A/N: Once again, apologies for the huge gaps between posting. I've been traveling, so finding time to write has been a challenge, but I'm home now so hopefully the updates will be more regular. Thanks for all the comments; I'm glad you're all still enjoying the story.
Chapter seventeen
November
Cape Town
The last rays of sunlight streamed through the kitchen blinds as Irina sat at the table, irritably trying to relieve her itchy wrist by sticking a pen between the cast and her skin. She remembered how she and Jack had decorated Sydney's cast when she had injured her leg on a camping trip. Irina's cast now was still plain and white.
"You're as thin as you were when I saw you in India." The familiar voice caused Irina to turn in her seat, and she dropped the pen and smiled.
"Katya!"
Katya crossed the kitchen and embraced her sister, then stepped back to study her. "What have you done to yourself, Irushka?"
Irina self-consciously hugged her arms to her chest, but she was too happy to worry about her appearance. "I've tried to put on weight. I can't."
"She's lying. She hardly eats a thing." Andrei set Katya's bag on the ground, then took three wineglasses from the cupboard and picked out a bottle from the wine rack. Irina glared at him, but he just smiled.
Katya took the glass he offered her, grimacing in distaste. "Wine? What kind of Russian are you? Where's the vodka?"
"Katyusha, this is a winery." Andrei hesitated before handing Irina a glass, but she took it from him before he could stop her.
Katya sighed dramatically, then sipped from the glass. She smiled. "It's not too bad."
Irina ran her hand over Katya's head. The last time she'd seen her sister, Katya's dark hair had fallen to her shoulders. Now it was shorn to only a few centimeters in length. "What did you do to your hair?"
Katya shrugged. "I was bored."
"Katyusha."
"What? Long hair didn't suit me. You--" Katya broke off, and she reached up to finger Irina's hair, still short, but longer than it had been in India. "This is more practical."
Irina put her glass down and hugged her sister. "You could never just tell someone you loved them, could you?"
Katya returned the hug. "Oh, Irushka."
Andrei, evidently sensing he was unwanted, stood up. "I'll take your bags to your room."
"Take them to mine," Irina said.
"Yes." Katya tightened her embrace. "We have so much catching up to do."
"I'm so glad you're here," Irina said once Andrei had left the kitchen.
"I needed to talk to you. I've been asking around – Elena said you'd defected. That you were in Kashmir for re-education."
Irina stifled a sob in her throat. "They hadn't gotten around the re-education part yet." She pulled back slightly to look at Katya. "I never betrayed the Soviet Union. Never."
Katya sighed and shook her head. "No, they betrayed you. Ten years you had to live with that man, and they repaid you by throwing you in prison!"
"Katya, don't."
Katya stepped back, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Irina. She sighed again. "I thought you didn't believe in love."
"I didn't," Irina said. "Nothing about the mission was what I expected."
Katya took Irina's hand and held it for a moment before she spoke again. "Was he good to you?"
"Yes. I think if things were different – I think you'd like him. He's smart, Katya. Probably the smartest man I've ever met." She smiled. "And he makes me laugh. You should see him with Sydney; he adores her." Her smile faded as she thought of Nadia. "I wish we could have had more children."
Katya's expression was one of disbelief. "Are you listening to yourself? How can you love him after what he did?"
"How can he love me after what I did?"
"You were serving your country."
"So was he."
Katya opened her mouth to speak, then sighed and sank onto one of the kitchen chairs. "But Sasha . . ."
"I know."
The sisters looked at each other across the table, then Katya suddenly rose and hugged Irina again. "I hate this war."
Los Angeles
Jack hung back slightly and watched Sydney slowly approach her mother's grave. It had been exactly one year since Laura had died, and for the last few days Jack had been agonizing over how to handle it. This morning Sydney had solved the problem for him by announcing that she wanted to visit the cemetery. Jack was so taken aback that she'd remembered the date without any mention of it on his part, that he'd simply nodded and said, "Okay, sweetheart."
When Sydney had gone on to mention that it was a school day, Jack smiled and said he was sure her teacher would understand if she took the day off. They finished eating in silence, then Sydney had run upstairs to get ready.
An hour later, they were finally at the cemetery, Sydney wearing a dress slightly too small for her, but one that Irina had often told her was pretty. Jack blinked back tears as he watched Sydney solemnly place three roses on the ground in front of the headstone. He stood just close enough to hear Sydney, but not too close to intrude.
"Hi, Mommy. I know you're not really here, but Daddy says if I speak to you, you can still hear. I guess that must be true, 'cause Daddy knows everything." She bit her lower lip and sighed. "I guess heaven must be really nice, 'cause if it wasn't, you'd have come back by now."
She fell silent, and Jack took a step towards her, then checked himself. He tried to gauge what she was thinking, but couldn't, and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her she didn't have to be sad, her mother wasn't dead, and he'd take her to Irina if he could.
"Daddy misses you," Sydney continued. "I can tell 'cause he doesn't laugh so much anymore. But I'll look after him, Mommy, I promise, and I'll try to be good. I wish you could come back. You gave the best hugs."
She turned and smiled at Jack. "Okay, Daddy. We can go now."
Jack held out his hand, and together they walked back to the car.