Okay, everyone... I know this update is long overdue, but I've been doing alot of writing (Chapter 4 is also up so this is a double posting!).
Here is the promised Trin/Morpheus "catfight"... it gets sticky, but I hope that you all can still feel the love ;)
Please read, review... I love reviews !
More soon (see a teaser for ch. 5 at the end of chapter 4!)
Cheers,
Kristen
CHAPTER 3-
NEUBUCHADEZZAR. circa 2199.
"Well, what did you expect, Morpheus?" Trinity practically slams the door behind her as she marches into the Captain's office. She finds Morpheus pacing back and forth, an expression of worried concentration on his face. Deep in thought. Or prayer. He seems not to hear her question.
"It's procedure to let him rest for at least…"
"I am aware." Morpheus abruptly cuts her off. 'Procedure.' How small-minded to consider procedure, when we are so close to the End.
Trinity exhales sharply in exasperation. It is a miracle Neo is alive at all, having survived two weeks of physical reconstruction. His progress had been encouraging. But he'd only been conscious for ten minutes when Morpheus brought him to the Core.
He should never have been jacked into the Construct like that.
It took thirty minutes for his neural patterns to stabilize. And now he is passed out, with a fever. It's classic Rejection Syndrome. She'd seen it before. So had Morpheus.
"You can't possibly think that he will be able to start tomorrow…"
"Yes, I do. He'll be fine." Morpheus turns his back to her, clasping his hands behind him. "Now, if you don't have anything else to add, Trinity…"
Trinity just stares at the metal plug in the back of his head, incredulous.
Did he just… dismiss me?
She can't believe that he's speaking to her like this.
In the past, Trinity had always found such comfort in Morpheus' deep, baritone voice. It was the sound of certainty, continuity. It was the sound of home. When she was young, she would always sit up with Morpheus during the night shifts. And while they watched the green code pour down the screens, she'd listen to him tell her stories of all the great, brave fighters of the Resistance. Before long, she'd memorized them all. That voice had captivated her for so many years.
But now, with his back contemptuously turned from her, Morpheus' voice drips with condescension. And Trinity, for the first time in many years, finds herself without words. She looks down at her hands, searching for something to say to him. Searching for the Trinity that she just lost… that somehow, she has been losing for weeks now. She notices her skin is wrinkled at the fingertips, waterlogged from holding a cold, wet cloth on Neo's forehead for the past half-hour. Her face burns.
How dare you. Dismiss me. You will not.
Her eyes and chin rise to his level. She consciously corrects her posture, standing as tall as she can, shoulders back.
"I do have something to add. Respectfully, sir. There's a reason we have rules. Jacking Neo in so soon was irresponsible. He's just a man…"
"You have never believed in the Prophecy, Trinity. I have learned to accept that. My beliefs do not require your approval. However, as a Captain, I do require my First Officer … to trust me."
Trinity scowls, shocked that he'd resort to using his 'Trust Me Speech'. She'd heard him deliver that hackneyed lecture to every new crew member aboard the Neb for the past twelve years. But he'd never given it to her. And now, especially now, she deserved more than that from him.
Trinity walks the length of the room, and firmly plants herself between Morpheus and the wall, forcing him to look at her. He sees that her eyes are hurt, and angry. But they're also open. Open, and honest, and clear. Very few men would ever earn her sincere, unguarded eyes. He'd earned them long ago. And some things will never change.
"What you're asking for isn't Trust, Morpheus. What you're asking for… is blind faith. Obedience without question. Compliance without independent thought. The very thing that the Matrix represents, you give to the Oracle and ask for from your officers."
"This is an army, and…"
"No. This is a family. Or, at least, it used to be."
"Are you accusing me of something, Trinity?"
"No. I'm reminding you." Trinity's eyes plead with him. "We lost everything, Morpheus. We both did. Now, slowly, we're losing each other. For what?"
"For This! The End - For Neo, For RightNow!"
"For a dream."
"Well, why don't you just leave if you…"
"Because, Morpheus, I'm not Niobe! I'm still here. Goddammit, I'm still right here!"
Shocked by her answer, Morpheus turns his face away. If she were anyone else, he'd order her from the room for a comment like that. But, with Trinity, things are different. When it came to him and Trinity, things were always different. Of all the Targets he'd unplugged over the years, she was his favourite, right from the start. And he knew that she felt the same way about him. Niobe never understood it - she even resented it at times, realizing that by the age of twenty-one, Trinity had all but formally taken over her duties as First Officer.
But after Morpheus went to see the Oracle, everything changed. Even his relationship with Trinity soured, and he always wondered why she didn't choose to leave with the others. But now, as he looks into her face, stricken with the idea of losing her, he realizes that he knows the answer to that question.
She stayed for me. Somehow, she knew that I couldn't do this alone.
Trinity's had held him together for years with that unwavering strength, that solid nerve that somehow, she was able to infuse into those around her. Osmotically. Magically.And now, in spite of everything, she is still doing it. Even though it is tearing her apart, she's still standing beside him.
Dear Trinity.
Suddenly overwhelmed, Morpheus closes his eyes and grips his hands into two tight fists.
Nevermind. It doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore. Everything will have been worth it when the War ends. I just have to be strong enough to see it through.
"Neo. Is. The. One. …"
"Then… he's going to need his rest."
"I'm doing this for him, Trinity…"
"Oh, Bullshit. You're doing it for yourself."
"What?"
"You're so desperate to be right, so desperate for a Saviour, that you'll gamble his life without thinking twice. You don't care about him…"
"He chose to know the truth!"
"He chose? Neo. Chose? To know the truth." Trinity seems to swirl the words around in her mouth. Tasting them. Scrutinizing them with a repugnant expression on her face. "I'm curious. Morpheus. Did you tell him that nobody over the age of thirty has ever been pulled from the sewers alive?"
Morpheus is silent. It is irrelevant. Neo is different.
"Did you tell Neo that everyone over the age of twenty-five who has ever survived being unplugged has either killed themselves… or gone insane? …Hm?" Trinity's voice becomes a dark whisper as she hisses at him, "did you tell him what the asylums are like in Zion? That some patients, mad for freedom, repeatedly slam their heads against the bars?"
"Stop it, no more!" Cypher was right. She isn't thinking clearly. "I shouldn't have let you watch him so often."
"I was doing my job."
"Yes. You've been very busy. Leaving things in his apartment, I hear."
"I left the gloves accidentally. It was a stupid mistake and I…"
"I'm not talking about the gloves, Trinity."
She freezes. Checkmate. How could he have found out? Tank wouldn't have told him. She feels sick. To her knowledge, nobody else knew. Shit. She's horribly embarrassed, and feels utterly ashamed. But she's too angry to submit defeat. Trinity has too much to say. She just feels too much to stop.
"Fine. Morpheus. Next time, you watch the Target. Watch him for two months as he struggles to find peace in That Awful Place…"
"Trinity-"
"No, Morpheus- really. You watch him as he blindly gropes for something Real… Anything Real. Don't you remember what it's like? Don't you? He can sense it - he can sense that there is something more… but it's always just out of reach. Like a moth to the flame of a lantern. Tap… tap… tap… questioningly, naïvely, he taps at the glass. Over and Over..."
"Trinity-"
"And then, you watch me expose the flame. If he's God's Moth, his wings won't singe, I say. If he's Magic, then he'll survive. You do that! You just watch me kill him! Then, Morpheus, we will see the strength of your great conviction! ... Why … Why the hell didn't you watch him if he's so special!"
Morpheus reaches out, and, taking Trinity by the shoulders, pulls her towards him. She resists him at first, but his strong arms firmly hold her against his chest, waiting for her to calm down. Trembling and emotionally spent, Trinity finally surrenders to the grounding weight of his arms with an exhausted sigh. She rests her head under his chin and claws her fingernails into his sweater.
"Tell me. Morpheus. You promise me. That he's going to be all right."
Morpheus relaxes his arms around her delicate frame, and rests a hand on the back of her head. He whispers to her, "He's going to be all right. I promise. It will all be over soon."
Trinity shakes her head into his rough sweater. "Jesus Christ. Sometimes I wonder how we can expect God to be on our side. What the hell are we doing?"
"Trinity. This is something I have to do. I believe this is… my Purpose. This is why I am here."
Trinity pulls away from him, realizing the futility of all her efforts. She recognizes his uncompromising, hard, resolute temperament as hers as well. She understands him. Ever since the beginning, she has always understood him, even when nobody else did. More than that, Trinity had always felt that she belonged with him; that whatever Morpheus' Purpose, it was hers to stand beside him. To protect him. To keep him strong.
But now, with Neo… somehow… she feels things are different.
"I know." Trinity silently makes a decision. "I know." There was nothing else to say. "I'm going to go sit with him."
"Wait. I'll sit with him. I'd like to be there when he wakes up. You've made me realize that… there are things that should be said. I'd … appreciate it, Trinity."
Trinity stops on her way to the door of his office, and simply nods. There is an unspoken agreement. She can tell that he understands her as well.
As Trinity leaves the room, her face reveals nothing. Her eyes are stony, professional, and determined. Her steps are swift, sure, and strong. She walks with a Purpose.