A/N: Yay, my first chapter is well on the way. I really am excited for this idea and I WILL finish it…. I promise that because I love it. Well, let's get started now, huh?
Chapter 1: Starting Over"Swell party! Bring on the booze!"
It has been three months since the destruction of Sephiroth and one month after the finalization of project Neo-Midgar. The Planet was at a small calm as people all over the world recollected the fallen pieces of their lives. We, the rebel group and the saviors of this world, were honored in a bar in Costa De Sol. We all decided that it was a wonderful idea to take well-needed three-day vacation in the attractive city. The people of Costa De Sol thought it best that they would close the bar our first night just to treat us to a free, plentiful dinner and drinks, and give us free rooming in the inn for our stay. None of us could even pass up from the offer.
I sat playing with the hem of my baby blue sundress as I watched with amusement at Cid and Barret drinking their third shot of Tequila. They shuddered for a second but belched with pride that they still had room for more. Those two, old enough to be fathers, still acted as if they were the youngest in our group. With that notion, I looked over to Yuffie who was busy cleaning and counting her materia into her big pouches. To her feet, Nanaki hiccupped as he drifted to sleep from the two cups of mixed drinks he swigged. Reeve, finally in person, poured Cloud and I another round of shots and mixed drinks. I wasn't used to drinking around men like this, but I knew I was safe because we were all family.
"I can't believe everything is finally over!" cheered Barret as he swigged a beer and passed one to Cid.
"Yeah, I fucking can go home now and start a life with Shera now," agreed Cid as he opened his drink clumsily.
"I know what you mean. Marlene, Elmyra, and I are moving to North Corel after the trip and then I can get to work on rebuilding the town," added Barret.
"Yes, it all seem like a dream now. The panicking is over and now we can move on to a better life," stated Reeve drinking his hard Bacardi and coke drink.
As I listened attentively to the conversation, I felt Cloud softly rub my back with his hand. At first, my mind was blank onto how to comprehend this small affection. Did he mean it? Was he actually feeling something for me? My eye slowly gazed to him and all I could see was his pinkish cheeks and his mako blue eyes gazing at me. He leaned down to me and whispered something I couldn't believe.
"Can I stay in your room tonight?"
I stared at him, disbelief written on my face at what he just proposed to me. He wanted to be with me in my room…ME. Maybe this was the start. The start of the life I want with him. The start of the chapter that would become my favorite part. At first, I wanted to say no just because I didn't wanted to seem like I was a whore or anything, but I knew Cloud would never think of me that way. Cloud would NEVER act that way towards me. I was his childhood friend after all.
I looked over to him again and expressed my vivacious smile while nodding my head to his question. He smiled brightly then taking the double shot that Reeve presented to us. He looked at my shot then at me. Ha, that silly boy, you want to challenge me. I carefully took the huge shot in my hand, and all at once washed the liquid down my throat. Of course, I fought the sudden taste of disgust, but then I grin playfully.
"Are you trying to challenge me?" asked a very pinkish Cloud.
"Hm, only IF you can handle it," I replied as sly as I could muster.
Soon enough Cloud took a nearby bottle of absolute vodka and poured three shots for each of us. Was he crazy? My body could handle only one more shot or the rest of the night I would be throwing up in the bathroom. I expressed a worry look to my childhood friend, but he was already on his second. I gasped softly, but then carefully took my first shot. I clenched my fist slightly and took several deep breaths. Nope, I can't drink anymore.
"I guess I win," he slurred while pointing to all three empty shot glasses.
"Cloud, that wasn't a very good idea. You'll feel sick if you don't take care," I suggested with a small frown on my lips.
" Ha, look at you. Always looking out for me…." He stared slightly into my ruby eyes. I wasn't used to this sudden attention from Cloud, but it was welcome. Observing his feature, I knew that his blue Mako eyes were what I loved the most. So blank and indescribable one day then determined and focus another. They held so many emotions that he never explained, but when he looked at me with them, he looked at me with yearning for my help, needing me to help him heal. His eyes were the only things that could make me chill the way I am now. I wonder did he know that?
Soon enough, I felt Cloud's hand take grip with my small hand as he stood. He shuffled back a little, slipping with his balance, but still he stood. He looked down at me with those sapphire eyes pleading almost for me to get up as well. So I did.
"Where the hell are you two going?" asked Barret chugging another beer into his large mouth.
"We're tired, so we'll be retiring for the night," I half-lied keeping a soft genuine smile.
"Whatever, you babies! Leaving the party before it got good," replied Cid, sticking a cigarette into his mouth.
"No way, in a few minutes, you guys will be passed out as well," barked Yuffie as she closed up her pouches.
"Shut up, kid!" Before the two could begin an argument, Cloud gripped my hand and pulled me as we walked out the bar.
We walked side by side slowly in the sand to the inn where we were staying. My childhood friend couldn't help but lean on me, gripping my hand tighter. He was more than a little drunk than I expected actually.
"Are you sure you want to stay over, Cloud?" I whispered softly into his ear.
"Of course!" he yelled wrapping his arm around my waist.
I was feeling a little bit unease by his rough gestures, but nevertheless I knew that Cloud would never hurt me. We walked into the inn and soon enough, Cloud began kissing on me. Cloud, MY Cloud, the leader and my childhood friend, took the first step and he was nibbling and kissing on my neck? I could not believe this turn of events at all. I was in utter amazement at the sudden affection that, quite frankly, came out of nowhere. I placed the key in my door and opened up to my quiet yet comfy room.
"Cloud, one moment please. Can I at least put my keys down?" I asked giggling softly while closing the door.
He swiftly grabbed my keys, threw it to the floor, and pushed me on the bed. I gasped, shocked that he did such an activity. He was full of surprises right now. In seconds, we were kissing again, but his kisses were different from mine. I kissed softly with my lips full of passion and sweet affection while he kissed hard filled with evidence of alcohol in his breath.
"C-Cloud, don't you think we are just going a little strong?"
"Of course not. I love you, Aeris," he simply explained and began to slip my sundress off.
I stopped my finger brushing along his face and just stared at him. He did not mean to call me her, did he? Before he even finish what he was started, he fell onto the bed, falling to sleep. It was quite unexpected and very vivid. So is this how a man acts when he returns from the bar? Still, I needed to know. I needed to know if he felt the same that I did.
"Cloud, who do you love? Me, TIFA, right?" I asked hoping and waiting for his reply.
"Aeris, what are you talking about? I love you! Teef, she's my best friend," he whispered as he turned over on my bed.
I looked over to him. I was just his childhood friend. I have always questioned where I stood in his life. I knew I would be a big part of it, but I didn't know if he saw me as a friend…or more. I truly did want it to be more. I sacrificed so much because my love for him meant so much to me. I thought maybe one day, just one day, he would see what I was doing for him. But on second thought, my sacrifices could not compare to a certain flower girl sacrificing her life to save the entire Planet.
Sighing to myself, I swiftly pushed myself out of the bed, quietly opened my door, and left with my keys in my hand. I needed to think about my life and about what I want to do. I couldn't just believe that I still had a chance when, in all honesty, Cloud was in love with someone else. I cannot try to take him out of something he could not help. You cannot help whom you fall in love. I loved him, but why did I love him?
I walked out towards the ocean of the beach and took off my shoes in the sand. I swept my foot in the chill water, but then I stood feeling the waves crash on my legs. There was even a slight breeze as my hair glided through the stream of wind hitting my face. Costa Del Sol always had such beautiful scenery. I remember when we first came to the town on our mission, I wanted to just swim in the beach and lie in the sun. It was as if this city was built on vacations and paradise.
My mind was full of questions. What life do I have now? Where can I go and be me again or did I ever know who I truly was? Thoughts plagued my mind and I was so confused. How could I be so stupid? I knew Aeris carried a big part of Cloud's life. When she died and he carried her into her grave, his face displayed the most pitiful, crushed expression that I have ever seen. I never placed the pieces together…or maybe I did not want them to fit.
"Tifa?"
I ended my thoughts for a moment as I sprung at the sound of my name. I looked over my right shoulder and could only see darkness. I squinted my eyes to look deeper into the night until I saw glimpse of a cape.
"Vincent…" I proclaimed as I walked over to my teammate.
He walked closer to me as I met him halfway on shore. I was surprised to see him, but I should have known that the ex-Turk was such the night owl. I delivered a genuine smile to him and then looked back to the sea almost inviting him to look at the night sky and sea with me.
"What are you doing out here? Aren't you going to celebrate with the others?" he asked coolly.
"Shouldn't I ask you the same thing? I didn't even see you inside once," I replied looking over to him.
"…..I am not one for parties, if I may say," he replied paying no mind to my glances.
"I think the boys went a little overboard with the free drinks," I giggled.
As I let out my last chuckle, silence rested once more. I have had many conversations with Vincent, but they would always lead to silence. I was actually surprised that he made longer sentences towards me, which was a nice improvement. He was really a sweet person deep down. One of the most compassionate people I have ever met. When he spoke to me, he spoke with small sentences, but his meanings were profound and kindhearted. He never talked down to me, which I compared to Yuffie's conversation with him. He even talked to Cloud with annoyance sometimes, but when he talked to me, it was as if he thought about what he would say, but not give out too much. He was still hard to read, but I knew he was considerate about my feelings.
" Where is Cloud?" he asked unexpectedly.
I sighed and crossed my arms. For a moment, I forgot my troubles, but I did need to look at my reality.
"He's in my room asleep. He passed out from all the drinks," I simply stated.
"I see…"
I looked up at him. I hope he does not think that we did something. Of course I thought something wonderful would happen, but in the end, nothing other than kissing happened. Still, he did not really need to know.
"Don't worry, Vincent. We did nothing. I really don't think we will ever do anything. I'm his friend and nothing more." I barely spoke the last part, simply because I probably did not want to believe it. Why was this harder to accept?
I looked down at my feet lost again in my thoughts, but then he replied, "Do you need to talk?"
"Thank you, but I think I'm more confused than anything. I might not even make sense," I started displaying a real smile to him.
"Try me….."
He was not going to let up. If there was anything to know about Vincent was that he was stubborn. Not the annoying stubbornness that Cid, Barret, and Yuffie have when they ask me about Cloud, just the stubbornness of a friend who wants to help. I sighed once more, feeling that my words would probably not come out the right way, but I was sure that I would be more upset if I talked about my troubles.
"Well, I just came to notice that, Cloud loves another, and I will never be in his arms the way I've dreamt. Now that I know this, I want to start my life anew, but how can I when there are so many memories of us all in every city," I stated looking out to the sky and looking back Vincent.
He nodded his head a couple of times and began to dwell on my words.
"I understand……I, too, have been in your predicament before. Love is wonderful, and yet it can be cruel," he started.
"I know what you mean," I scoffed as I rubbed my hands along my shivering arms. I did not think it would become this chilled out here, but it was the mid October. Suddenly, I felt a long trail of warmth hit my body. I looked over to Vincent as he placed his long black and red cape over my form. He was such a sweet person.
"I'm actually quite amazed that it is not eating in you as it did to me. You should be proud, Tifa," he explained while adjusting the cape around me.
"I think it is too early to say that. I might not feel the rejection just yet."
"Don't think that way…I used to. It's nothing but feeling sorry for yourself. The best thing to do is move on."
"I know and I'm trying, but I do not know where to start."
He looked at me for a moment as I looked out to the sea. Where could I go? Maybe I could go back to Nibelheim, but that would only cause me grief and pain. I could always buy a home in Kalm. I have always wanted to live in such a tranquil place. No, tranquil equaled dull and since I have lived an adventure of a lifetime. Settling down in a town would only display how boring my life had turned out to be.
"Why don't you come with me…."
I looked over to Vincent confused on what he meant. It was not that I did not want to go, but I had no idea where he was going.
"I have to go to the Shinra Mansion, just to burn down Hojo's lab, but then after I am traveling. Traveling around might be the best way to clear the head," explained the gunslinger.
I thought for a moment. He did have a point; when we were on the mission, I felt such a vibrant on the whole experience. Being around my friends and being able to see the town, I never had the chance to be an adventure itself. I loved riding on Highwind, feeling the breeze in my hair as we observed what the planet really became to be. I loved the talks around the campfire, the exploring different landscapes, and the growth I made with my martial arts and personality. I came to love the understanding of the mission. Though it was for the certain aspect of finding and defeating Sephiroth, I grew with the adventure of just being alive. Maybe this was what I really needed.
"I think I might just have to accept this offer, Vincent." I looked over to him with a smile and I knew he understood my reasoning.
"Good……..I would like to leave before dawn," he stated.
"I can do that…..Thank you so much. Would you mind walking me to my room? I believe that if I'm leaving before dawn, I will need as much sleep as I can get tonight," I commented shifting as I turned to exit.
Vincent nodded to me and walked beside me. We fell into silence once more, but I did not mind it. It was our way of gratitude to one another, and I know he knew I had a lot on my mind and a lot to do before I leave. Oh, I hope Cloud will not be upset…Please, Cloud, forgive me.
TBC
A/N: Sorry, for the lateness of this fic. I really hate midterms in college, but here it is. I hope you really like it. I wanted to start this fic after AC, but I really haven't seen enough to be descriptive with other characters and towns. Tell me what you think. Please review!!!!!!