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Disclaimer: see previous chapter.
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LEAVING
Two days of glares and cold silences were all that Harry could take. When he had woken up, five hours later, Malfoy had been told what happened. For some reason Pom and the Headmaster has neglected to tell him the last thing that Harry had done for him. It had drained most of the energy from him. He had had to resort to a pepper up potion when he finally regained consciousness, something he hated to do.
He could feel the fury and confusion radiating from the blonde on the bed every time he walked into the room to check him. After the initial conversation which consisted of a soft 'Malfoy' and a cold 'Potter', not much had been said between the two men. As he once again, hopefully for the last time, checked on Malfoy the door to his room slammed open and Pansy walked in.
Harry had never gotten to know her very well but from what he had heard during school she was a right cold-hearted bitch who was only interested in one thing- money, something Malfoy had plenty of.
"Mrs. Malfoy?" He nodded in greeting as he hung the clipboard on the end of the now scowling man's bed. He turned to leave as quickly as possible, not wanting to be involved in, or around, one of their fights. He had heard that they were impressive but had never actually seen one.
He barely made it out the door before she ripped into Malfoy. The last thing Harry heard before the door closed was that right before the accident he had taken her off the Malfoy family account. Harry could help but grin at that. The Parkinson's, though an old pureblood family, were practically penniless. There was no way she could continue to live in the style that she was accustomed too without the Malfoy money. Having access to the name would get her into the right social circles but that was all she had now.
He made his way to the Great Hall where he joined Ron and the Headmaster for a late lunch before they left. He had gone over the rest of Malfoy's care with Pom that morning. Now, all that was left was to pack his bags and head back to America.
"Leaving today, Mr. Potter?"
"Yes Headmaster. After lunch actually." Harry replied softly as he fixed his plate of cold chicken salad and crackers. He said nothing more because there was just nothing more to say. He was leaving and that was that.
"Sal and I are leaving as well." Ron said into the tense silence.
"How long before Mr. Malfoy can return to his classes?" The Headmaster asked. He had taken over the potion's classes when he had returned from St. Mungo's and he had realized that it was now harder than he remembered.
"Give him a few days to recover I think. After that it is up to him." Harry said quietly. He did not want to talk about Malfoy. He wanted to eat, pack, and get the hell out of Dodge. All in the precise quick order.
"Are you going back to America, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Yes."
Conversation ceased then as all three men concentrated on their food. Finished Harry stood to leave but turned back to the Headmaster with a thoughtful look and said softly, "Professor, thank you."
Snape looked surprised but the nodded as if he knew why Harry was thanking him when in actuality he did not. He watched the silent and hurting young man walk away. He turned to his dead wife's best friend with a questioning look.
Ron shook his head no; he did not know why Harry had said that. He too got up to retrieve Sally from Professor Sprout's clutches so that they could leave.
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Harry packed slowly for some reason felling reluctant to leave. He knew why he had to leave he just didn't think that it was going to be this hard. He finished packing his few things and decided to go say goodbye to Pom and then one last stop to check on Malfoy before leaving.
Pom wasn't in her office so he left her a little note and then walked slowly over to the door to Malfoy's room. He didn't want to go in there. It was like a force was trying to keep him from entering the room. A sound like a groan or a moan drew him closer to he door and he watched in repulsive fascination as his hand reached to open he door.
He opened the door and stepping through turned to close it quietly in case Malfoy was asleep. Unfortunately, that was not the case. He was not asleep, he was otherwise engaged.
Pansy Parkinson, nay Malfoy, was laying atop of the man on the bed. She had her hands on each side of his head and his hands were gripping her arms. Her Head was blocking his view of Malfoy's face because she was kissing his neck. Harry could see her lips attached to his neck because Malfoy had his head thrown back.
He gasped at the cold rush of pain that swept through his body. Merlin! He wanted to die right then and there. He knew, deep in his heart, that this was something that could happen, would happen. He just never expected to have to see it.
Pansy's head jerked up at his gasp and she narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you want?" She spat at Harry.
Harry shook his head frantically. He was too caught up in his rampaging feelings of hate, love, and despair to even utter a word as he hastily stepped back. With a muffled groan he turned and fled the room not hearing the whispered, "stop", and the sharp cry of pain that followed.
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He didn't say a word as he joined Ron and Sally at the gates. One look at his pale face and shaking body had Ron hugging him tight. He nodded as he stepped back and Harry gave him a grateful, but shaky, smile.
He could tell Ron wanted to ask him what was wrong but he also knew that he wouldn't. With a last look at his home Harry apperated to King's Cross Station. He fell to the ground as wave after wave of sadness and regret flooded him. He could feel the hot tears coursing down his pale cheeks. Ron muttered curse words as he griped Harry tightly by the arm helping him to remain standing.
With a sharp word Harry was concealed from the crowd of curious onlookers by a concealment charm as Ron and Sally helped him through the barrier, into a taxi, and into a bed in their guest bedroom. Harry lay there quietly crying and gasping for breath.
"Harry?" Ron said hesitantly.
"Ron, make it go away!" Harry pleaded softly through his tears.
"I can't Harry." Ron said sadly as he watched his friend slowly break down in front of him and knowing he had no help to offer him.
"Oh God!" Harry breathed out. "In...my bag, vial...blue."
Ron nodded and rummaged through Harry's bag bringing out a small vial with a flashing blue liquid in it. "Harry?" He asked as he eyed the unusual liquid in the vial.
"Dreamless sleep and pain potion." Harry explained as he slowly reached for the vial. Ron jerked it out of the way with an incredulous look. "Are you crazy? You can't mix those two together."
Harry groaned as the cold pain came back to be added to the sadness and regret filling him. "It is okay, they are weak versions of themselves." Harry groaned again, "please, Ron." He pleaded.
Ron gave the vial to Harry reluctantly. He didn't like to see him hurting but he didn't want him to become a vegetable if this stuff didn't work right. He helped Harry to hang on to the vial, his hands were shaking so badly that Ron was afraid it would all spill out before a drop even landed on his tongue, and watched as Harry let four drops of the liquid fall into his mouth. Seconds later Harry smiled through his tears as he let sleep claim him and his troubled mind was let free to deal with what was happening to him.
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It took Harry eight days and over half the vial before he could function properly. He had taken to lying under the huge oak tree that Ron had in his back yard practicing breathing in and out calmly and evenly. He had to deal with the feelings of emptiness he was now constantly feeling.
He had come to the conclusion that it was good that he had left when he did, with Malfoy still not completely well he had been unable to exert as much influence over Harry as he could have if he was well. But that was all water under the bridge because he was leaving today, finally making the last of the trip to his apartment in Alabama.
He knew know that he would always be alone. He would never find someone to fill the empty void from the bond that was inside of him. He was grateful to the unicorns but sometimes he wished that they had not taken the panic away from him. He had lived with it for so long it was like a favorite sweater, now it was gone. This feeling of emptiness inside of him was like a festering wound and it only seemed to get bigger and bigger each day. He was determined to not let it control him though.
He sighed, "I want to go home." He murmured as he fell into his first natural sleep in days.
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Sally woke him up gently, careful not to make much noise or fast sudden movements, being married to a war hero had taught he how to wake up a sleeping man.
"Lunch, Harry." She said softly as his eyes fluttered open. He nodded and stood, brushing off the leaves and bits of grass that he could reach.
After a quiet lunch Ron drove Harry to the airport. Once there he seemed to want to say something but for once was restraining himself quite admirably from blurting out what ever it was he had to say.
"What is it, Ron?" Harry finally asked in exasperation.
"Why are you leaving?" Ron blurted out.
Harry eyed him warily, "what?"
Ron turned to stare at him calculatingly. "Why are you leaving?" He asked again.
Harry shook his head and glanced away. He sighed when it became apparent by Ron's glare that the red head was not going to drop it. "Because I have to Ron. I can not stay here. It...it hurts too much."
"But you knew this would happen, right Harry? You knew but still you did it. Why?" Ron demanded.
"That's not why it hurts, Ron." He said quietly as he turned to look back at his best friend. Ron winched at the sadness and despair etched on Harry's face. "I knew the emptiness would be there and I am dealing with that."
"Then what is it?" Ron asked in confusion, only wanting to help his friend to deal with his pain.
Harry felt his face redden and tears threaten as he remembered why he was in so much pain. "I saw.........Pansy...." Was all he managed to get out before his throat closed up and he shook his head hard trying desperately to get the image out of his head.
"Oh." Ron said in understanding. "I'm sorry Harry. Really sorry." He laid his hand on Harry's shoulder offering him support in the only way he knew how and the only way he knew Harry would accept it.
"Thanks Ron. I will be fine, soon." Harry said as he wiped the tears from his face and squaring his shoulders waited for his flight to be called. The two friends said nothing else until it was time for the last goodbye. Harry hugged Ron tightly and then stepping back he entered the terminal without another backward glance.
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Well, here is the next chapter and I really wish that I could answer the questions that you all asked, BUT, if I did that then it would give away my plot. And all of you should be aware of by now that I just DO NOT do that. evil smirking going on
I will say one thing: YES! And it will be answered in the next chapter.
Now figure out what I answered and you will just about figure out where this fic is going.
Thank you to all that read and review, it is muchly appreciated.
ENJOY!
LMG