Peace

There were just some things that made a person more grateful for the people in their life. Being framed as a terrorist, chased down as a fugitive, and finding out just who had been willing to go to what lengths certainly made Liz a little more thankful this year. The fact that she was going to be able to spend Christmas with almost everyone in one place was something she hadn't dared to hope for. They could work together well enough, but there were still some pretty strained relationships amongst the people she loved the most.

"Harold and I have laid down the ground rules," Charlene said as Liz shrugged her coat off. "No fighting, no arguing, no weapons of any kind, and no provoking into a fight of any kind and then pointing the finger. "

Liz felt a smile tug her lips. "Is the last one for Red with Ressler?" she laughed.

"And a certain ex-husband of yours," Charlene answered, echoing the smile.

"Tom didn't say he was coming," Liz managed.

"I wasn't letting him squirm out of this one. He's in the kitchen."

Liz shook her head, the smile not fading. Everyone had made it. As long as they could at least pretend to get along, this could be as close to perfect as they could get.

"Keen."

She turned, finding a glass of wine offered by a somewhat awkward looking Donald Ressler. Their friendship was… mending, might be the best term. She had had so much faith in him, and to have him chase her down and take her in like that had, she thought, proven that he had none in her in return. She knew now that he had done what he thought was right to keep her safe from the Cabal, and when it became evident that her life truly was in danger in the Post Office, he'd put his own on the line to get her out alive. It was still a little awkward, a little strained, but the healing process always was. They were moving in the right direction at least.

"Merry Christmas, Ress," she greeted, taking the offered glass.

"You too. You're the last one to get here. We were starting to wonder if you'd decided not to come."

A small smile tugged her lips just a little. As much as she'd missed everyone, she'd been careful with her time outside of work lately. She was piecing her life back together and social events had taken a back seat to a lot of other things. This, though, was important. "I wouldn't have missed the Coopers' Christmas dinner. I'd never have heard the end of it. Everyone getting along?"

"For the most part. Charlene's got this look. It's kind of impressive."

"I bet it is."

"Stopped your ex in his tracks. I didn't know that was possible."

"Just how close has he gotten with those two?" Liz laughed.

"I figured you probably knew."

"No… I haven't seen much of him since everything settled down. He'll pop up every now and then, but for the most part he's been giving me my space."

"I guess I just assumed that you guys got back together."

She tilted her head a little. She rarely spoke about Tom at work, and Ressler certainly didn't ask, so she wasn't sure where that had come from. "What made you think that?"

Ressler shrugged. "Just the way he talks about you."

"You two buddies now?" she teased.

"I wouldn't take it that far. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I change the locks, that man figures out a way to show up at random and drink my beer."

Liz choked back a laugh. She wasn't sure how it'd happened, but it sounded like her ex husband and her partner had some sort of reluctant friendship going. From what she'd heard they'd gone at it a couple of times - once, at least, in front of the Coopers' home - but maybe they'd settled out some. Things really were strange these days. "I should go say hi to him. I hear Charlene roped him into helping cook."

"I think he actually volunteered."

She nodded, turning towards the kitchen and nearly bumping into Charlene on her way out. Tom had his back to her, messing with something on the counter. Liz cleared her throat after a moment. "Hey," he greeted, his expression lightening immediately.

Liz bit the inside of her lip as she spotted what must have been flower on the tip of his nose, but the laugh made it out anyway and she pointed. "You're, uh, going to have some trouble convincing anyone you're a big tough spy covered in flour."

Tom's eyes crossed a little, looking at where she was pointing and he wiped at the flour. "Yeah, well, broadcasting the whole spy thing is a way to get yourself killed, you know." His grin faded to more of a smirk. "Anyway, if you hadn't heard, I'm officially retired from all of that now."

"All of it?"

"Yep. I had a rather tense discussion with my former handler and, while it pretty much depleted my bank accounts, I'm a free man."

Liz stood there for a moment, letting the information sink in. McCready had let him go. She hadn't even known that he was planning to speak to him. In fact, last she had understood the man had wanted to kill her ex husband. "How did you know he wasn't going to kill you when you walked in there?"

Tom shrugged, turning back to the rolls he was putting together in a pan. "I didn't."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

His hands stilled, but he didn't turn back around. Instead he stood there very quietly for a moment and Liz chewed on her lip. She'd been in there less than five minutes and she was fussing at him. Great start.

"I didn't want to worry you," he said slowly, as if he were uncertain of his words.

"Because just dropping off the face of the planet would have been better? I could have helped you, Tom."

"Short of taking down Bud's whole organization, no, you couldn't have," he answered tightly. He set the pan with the rolls to the side and dusted his hands off before motioning to it. "Leave them there to rise a little bit before someone puts them in the oven."

Liz blinked, a little surprised at his tone. "Where are you going?"

"I shouldn't have come."

He started past her and she reached out, catching ahold of his sleeve of his sweater. "Tom, wait. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm not upset with you, Liz. I just… I don't know where we stand and I…" He pulled a deep breath and she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. "I just shouldn't have come."

Liz didn't let go, but tightened her grip. It was her fault he didn't know where they stood, at least in part. He was trying so hard to respect whatever boundaries she might have set and then just hadn't told him, because in typical fashion, she had closed down and hadn't let him in. She hadn't pushed him away, necessarily, but she certainly had guarded her own thoughts closely. "Can we talk?"

He nodded and she motioned to the door that would lead them out of the kitchen and into the side yard. Liz finally released his sleeve when she was fairly sure he wasn't going to bolt, and Tom moved slowly out the door, pulling his sleeves back down to his wrists, and took a seat in the steps of the little porch, his expression nearly impossible to read. "I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been very fair to you."

Her ex looked up at that and she saw a crack in the careful mask he was wearing, mixed emotions flashing through his expressive eyes. "Liz, in the grand scheme of things-"

She took a seat next to him. "In the grand scheme of things you were right there with Red, Ressler, and the rest of them. You risked your life to clear my name, even after everything we've done to each other. The least you deserve is some clue as to where we are in this mess."

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. "You don't know either, do you?"

Liz blinked and a laugh escaped her without permission. "No, I really don't," she admitted softly. Carefully she reached out, her fingers touching the back of his hand. "But if I'm willing to work on my relationships with everyone else, you deserve the same."

Tom swallowed hard. "This is a real mess," he murmured and she smiled, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, but the whole thing is, not just us. Are you staying in DC now that Bud isn't hunting you?"

"I thought I might. I need to find something to do though."

"I heard this crazy rumour floating around that Cooper offered you a job. Any truth to that?"

"I turned him down."

"Why?"

"I figured you needed space."

"Well, you need a job. Maybe it'll give us a chance to get to know each other again."

He straightened a little at that. "You really want to?"

"If you do."

"Of course I do," he breathed, his eyes lighting up a little.

"Good, then that's settled," Liz answered with a smile, leaning in and bumping her shoulder against his. "I guess I need to start calling you by your real name, huh? If we're doing this?"

"If you want."

"Tom," she paused, frowning a little. "Jacob," she corrected herself, "you don't have to walk on eggshells. Ress has been doing that too and it's driving me crazy. If you promise not to run from this, I will too."

He offered her a small, but as far as she could tell, real smile. "Promise."

Liz's eyes focused on a small fleck of white that dropped between them, and then another. "It's snowing."

"Looks like it," he ex husband said, the smile not fading and his hand shifted under hers, turning do that their palms were touching. "I love you. That was always a truth. You can ask me anything from here on out, Liz, and I'll give you as honest if an answer as I know how to. I just… I need the same in return."

She nodded solemnly. "I care about you, Jacob," she said slowly. "Very much. I think I still love you, but I'm not sure if I know you or not."

"Maybe we should work on that," he answered with a quirked smile.

"Maybe we should." She leaned forward, her lips touching his, and she felt him lean into it. His hand moved to the side of her face, fingers brushing across her cheek and tangling in her hair. She broke it a moment later, her eyes fluttering open to find his slower to do the same.

The snow was falling in earnest now and Tom - Jacob - pulled his sweater up over his head and handed it to her before she had a chance to protest. "Aren't you going to be cold?" she asked, eying the long sleeve t-shirt he had on under it.

"Not as cold as you," he answered, motioning to her own thin blouse.

A smile finally took hold and she slipped it on, a familiar scent catching her as she did. "Thanks." She shifted a little, the smile turning a little mischievous. "So I hear you and Ress have been spending some time together."

Jacob snorted. "Is that what he's telling you?"

"I think it's good. Admit it, you guys are growing on each other."

"Don't get your hopes up too much."

"Uh-huh."

He smirked and she stood, the sleeves of his sweater pulled down over her hands like built in gloves. "You know, this is exactly what I wanted for Christmas."

"What do you mean?" he asked, following her lead.

"Everyone I care about enjoying themselves together. No fights, no arguing, just-"

"Peace," Jacob murmured softly.

"Peace," she agreed and reached for his hand. He took it readily and followed her back into the warm house where her friends - the only people who had believed in her - stood laughing and talking.

Red looked over from where he looked to be halfway through an exciting story, glass of scotch sloshing dangerously in his expressive hands. "Lizzie, you were just about to miss the best part," he said cheerfully, his gaze flickering to where she still had Jacob's hand in her own, but purposefully ignored it and flashed her a charming smile instead. "You remember Matilda? Sweet little thing in-"

"I got the impression you knew her much better than I would," Liz laughed and grabbed her glass of wine she had left on the kitchen counter.

Reddington hummed happily at that thought and dove right back into his story, everyone standing around and listening. Ressler moved over to Jacob's other side, saying something lowly to him and both men seemed to get a good chuckle at it, likely at Red's expense, though it hardly seemed to phase the other man.

Everyone was together. It wouldn't last forever. Liz wasn't naïve, but for those moments together they could have their little sliver of peace and that was perfect. After everything, she thought that they had earned it.

Notes: Happy Christmas and Hanukkah (I think tonight's the last night, isn't it?) to everyone! I hope you all get a chance for a chance to stop and breathe this season. Heaven knows life is crazy sometimes.

I'm sorry that this story has taken a bit of a back seat. I've been working on a multichapter AU. If you haven't had a chance to check it out it's called Everything Back to You and works under the premise of switching Jacob and Liz's roles... sort of. Basically Liz was picked up by the major and trained to be an operative while Jacob was adopted by a nice family instead of getting tossed into the academy. It's been a wild ride so far and if you're a fan of the Jacob and Ressler bromance (yay Tessler!) there's a lot of it over there, as those two are working side by side in the FBI. I'd love it if you'd go check it out :D

Much love to everyone. Be safe this holiday season!