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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Draco had slept the day and night away, mind blessedly blank and free. In the morning of the next day he woke with tears on his face.
He truly and deeply was afraid. He had always been able to have some measure of control of his life, until now. Fear, worry, love…all seem to crowd his mind until it overloaded and he couldn't take it anymore. On those days he was sedated.
He lifted his groggy head with a groan. He definitely did not want to get up.
"About time you woke up, Malfoy." Came the amused voice from beside him. Draco looked warily to his right and met the amused blue eyes.
"What are you doing in my room, Weasley?"
"Just my turn to baby-sit you is all."
"I don't need a babysitter!"
Ron raised an eyebrow and just looked at him. Draco harrumphed and crossed his arms as he scowled at Ron. "Whatever. Where is Harry?"
Ron just chuckled at the scowling blonde, "he's with Hagrid."
"How…how did he seem?" Draco asked hesitantly. He kept his eyes lowered, not wanting Ron to see the desperation he knew was in them.
"The same, tired and sad. He…he's stopped talking again Draco." Ron voice was so worried for his best friend.
Draco started to shake but with a supreme effort managed to keep his voice even. "He has?"
"Basically. He will answer questions, sparingly. But only Madam Pomfrey can get him to say more than a few words at a time. Even I have trouble getting more than a nod and a smile out of him."
"Oh." Draco sat up and settled on the side of his bed.
"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Ron asked in his blunt way.
Draco blushed and refused to look at him.
"You do know how you feel, don't you?" Ron pressed.
Draco still refused to look at him.
"Look Malfoy, if all you are going to do is hurt him, then let him go." Ron said before he stood and walked from the room.
Draco lowered his head into his hands and sat there for a long time just thinking about Ron's words. Did he want Harry? Could he let him go if the answer was no?
When he was sure that the answers to those to questions were both yes, he got up to go to the bathroom to take a shower.
Time for phase two of 'The Plan'.
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Harry had spent all morning in Hagrids company content to let the larger man talk non-stop. It was a good thing that Hagrid was so chatty because Harry had no inclination to speak at all. It felt weird to be here, not to mention the quietness he could feel in his mind, which was the only part of him that didn't want to be here.
For the tenth time that morning and the fiftieth time overall he replayed the brief glimpse he had had of Draco the afternoon before. It had taken about twenty of those replays before he had noticed anything, other than how beautiful he was. He noticed the weight loss and paler than normal skin, the shaking hands and the fact that he had not sneered at him nor had he looked him in the eye.
He tried to chalk it up to worry about a former patient but had to throw that out to wash when he had talked to Snape and had not cared one wit if he was alright.
Harry had given in to Hagrids pleas of spending time with him before going through the painful healing process. Truthfully, it was an excuse that he had jumped at just on the off chance he would get to see Draco once again before he left tonight. And he did have every intention of leaving as soon as Hagrid was cured.
He could already tell that it was just an inflammation of the joints with a little water on the knee. It just pained him something fierce because he was such a big man and he put a lot of unnecessary weight on it. He vowed to make sure the half-giant agreed to a healthier diet before he left too.
After breakfast, where he had spoken less than ten words, they had walked slowly down to his hut. The morning passed slowly and companionly and before he knew it, it was lunch time. The closer he got to the Great Hall, the more anxious he became. He didn't notice Hagrids slower than normal stride or his booming voice that warned anyone in the Great Hall of their arrival minutes in advance.
As they stepped through the doors Harry's eyes went immediately to the Head Table and was disappointed to see Draco was not there. A commotion to his left drew his attention to the Slytherin Table where he saw him leading a student out a side door, he had forgotten that Draco was Head of Slytherin House now that Snape was the Headmaster.
With one last longing glance, that was not missed by anyone watching from the Head Table, he followed Hagrid up the aisle and to a seat where he sat and ate his food, never speaking to anyone.
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The student in question was not in trouble, merely part of 'The Plan'. As soon as they had exited the Great Hall, Draco had sent Minerva's niece back around the long way so that she could get back to her lunch. He had stood in the alcove, hyperventilating and sweating, until he had regained enough control over his emotions to make his way to the infirmary.
'The Plan' had him in Pom's office when Harry came in to heal Hagrid. The half-giant was suppose to eat a Chuck-A-Luck from Ron's brothers, on the way there so that by the time Harry had given him the pain potion he was sure to give him, Hagrid would be vomiting for hours.
That was something that Draco knew would make Harry fret but since it was all for his greater good, he didn't think that much about it. He just hoped that Hagrid didn't eat something that would smell foul coming back up.
For a Potion's Master, Draco had a really sensitive stomach.
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Ron had decided to join Harry and Hagrid for their walk to the infirmary after lunch. That was when he sneakily slipped Hagrid the Chuck-A-Luck candy. He kept up a running chatter so that Harry didn't notice Hagrid's face when he ate the sour candy. Fred and George had yet to find a way to make it taste sweeter.
Ron left them at the door to the infirmary with a helpless look at Hagrid and a pat on the back for the still silent Harry.
Harry, for the most part, had been lost in his thoughts and had not even known Ron was walking with them. He wanted to see Draco one last time before he left. Well, he wanted to and he didn't. one side of him longed for another glimpse of the man he loved and one side of him longed to run, fast, from this place and never return. Being at odds with yourself like that was not very conducive to conversation.
He loved Draco, Harry knew this. But he didn't know Draco. He knew John. But he didn't love John.
He knew he would never be happy with John. He could be content but never happy.
He knew he would be happy with Draco.
But he didn't have Draco. And he had no way to get him.
He wanted one more look, to tide him over for the months to come, before he left.
Hagrid pushed open the door to the infirmary and Harry followed him in silently. He stopped in shock when he saw the man he had just been thinking about standing there talking quietly to Pom.
Harry didn't know what to do. He was staring and he knew it but he couldn't pull his gaze away from Draco.
For his part, Draco barely managed to stop himself from rushing over and dragging the stupid man to a corner and ravishing him until neither could speak. He was stopped by Pom's gentle, but firm, touch on his arm.
"In the morning, you may come by and get more potion, Draco."
Draco nodded and turned to give her a thankful look. This part of "The Plan' was what he hated. Harry was only to be allowed brief glimpses of him. Just enough to start the bond singing and then Draco was to hightail it out of his presence. Except Draco didn't want to go. Pom raised an eyebrow at him when he didn't leave right away and Draco felt his face flush. With a murmured 'thank you' he quickly walked past the two standing there.
Madam Pomfrey and Hagrid watched as Harry's eyes hungrily followed Draco as he made his way past him and out of the room. He had to turn around to keep him in eyesight and for the two conspirators it was a sight to see the young man turn and follow the other with his eyes and his body. The shared a look of relief before breaking into Harry's silent contemplation of the now closed infirmary door.
"Well, 'arry," Hagrids deep voice boomed out causing Harry to whirl in surpise, "what we do now?"
"Oh…ummm" the obviously flustered young man said, "sit here." Harry indicated a bed while he tried to get his raging emotions under control. What potion? Why did he need it?
Hagrid sat down and again kept up a running conversation with no one as Harry got out his wand and started his examination. With a sharp word he stepped back and looked at both of them in confusion.
"Okay, who's going to tell me just what the hell is going on here?" He demanded angrily.
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