Part 3
Advice

After waking up, Willow tried to study, but couldn't concentrate. She downed three mochas one after the other, and spent the next two hours flinging clothes around the room, trying to figure out what to wear to the dance. Then she put them all away again.

What am I thinking? I can't go out with Tara. I'm in a relationship with someone else. A monogamous relationship! That kinda means no dating other people. I'm gonna call her and cancel.

As she hung up a khaki colored pair of slacks, she wondered idly if Tara would like her in them. She looked at it a moment and tossed it on her bed and began to rummage through her closet to find a blouse to match the pants. She started pulling clothes out of the closet again.

I wonder what Tara's gonna wear? Whatever it is, I'm sure she'll be gorgeous in it.

By midmorning, Willow was a wreck and needed to talk to someone. Buffy was off who knew where and that only left her other best friend. She hesitated because of his involvement in the last time she strayed, but she knew he would understand more than Buffy.

Throwing on the jeans she wore the night before and a peasant blouse, she made her way over to Xander's. She found him reading a comic book in bed.

"No one answered the door so I used my key," she explained after she greeted him. She took a seat on the arm of his pull-out bed. "Spike was lying on the couch watching television. He barely grunted a hello."

"That's Mr. Personality for ya," he said with a grimace. The sound of the television filtered through the floor.

"Where are the folks?" she asked.

"Sleeping off a righteous hangover, I imagine…although how they could sleep through that racket I have no idea," he answered. "I finally gave in and paid my rent so of course it was spent at the liquor store rather than on basement improvements as promised."

"I'm sorry, Xander," Willow said with a pout.

"Don't worry about it," he shrugged. "I don't. So…what brings you the dark and dank?

Willow frowned. "Things are a little weird right now and it's not something I wanna talk to Buffy about. I thought maybe a translator from the 'Y' side of things would be more helpful."

"You're in luck, then," he replied. "I fit the bill. Hit me."

Willow bit her lip. "Well what if a couple is in a relationship…"

"What kind of relationship?" he teased.

She blushed. "You know…an intimate relationship."

"Will, if you're doin' it, ya oughta say it."

"They're lovers," she said, her face turning even redder. He just smiled gently and indicated for her to continue. "And say that one of them is noticing someone else – another woman."

"And is this chick noticing back?"

Willow nodded. "Most definitely," she said. A flash of happiness came and went so fast, Xander never noticed. "And say that one of them…kinda sorta made a date with her for tonight."

"Will, I've deciphered your code," he held up a hand to stop her from continuing. "I'm sorry, Willow…how did you find out that Oz is dating someone else?"

Willow looked at her friend, a guilty look on her face. "It's…it's not Oz."

Xander blinked. And then he blinked again. "You met someone else?"

"I didn't mean to," Willow said with a pained expression. "She literally knocked me off my feet."

"Yeah, you said she was a she," he nodded.

"You're not freaked?" Willow asked with a worried look.

"Willow, you're my oldest and bestest bud," he said. "I'm not freaked…I mean, after we met vampire you I kind of suspected that you might also like girls, and sometimes I noticed you checking out the same girls I was checking out."

"Yeah," Willow admitted. "That's when I started thinking about the Sapphic side of things myself. Vamp me was a real eye-opener, wasn't she? Who could ever have imagined I'd be that skanky?"

"And totally hot in leather, I might add" Xander laughed, but then sobered. "But I'm just surprised that you'd cheat on Oz again."

"I haven't cheated on Oz," Willow defended.

"Willow, you've got a date with someone else…that's heading in the direction of Cheatsville," Xander pointed out. "And what kind of girl is she anyway, going out with someone already in a relationship?"

Willow's cheeks burned hotly and she simply hung her head instead of answering

"Oh Willow," Xander said. "So you've got a date tonight with someone who thinks you're kinda gay and that you're single?"

Willow nodded. Xander sighed and lifted her chin with a finger and asked softly, "What's her name, Will?"

"Tara," she said the name almost reverently. "She's so sweet and nice and kinda shy and a goddess, and she's so beautiful! I met her at that stupid Wicca group, but she's a real witch like me and she saved me from the Gentlemen the other night and I just felt an instant connection with her and she said her mother told her that her destiny is here and that's why she came to Sunnydale even though she knows about slayers and vampires and the Hellmouth and…"

"Will!" Xander interrupted. "Calm down and breathe." Willow took a breath and he continued. "You really like this girl, huh?"

Willow smiled. "Yeah, I do. I can't explain it, but the moment she touched my hand and we cast the spell together that saved us from the Gentlemen, it was like…"

"What?"

Willow looked at her best friend and whispered, "Like I touched the other half of my soul."

"And this is just not another fluke"

"I don't think so," she said. "But what do I know? Not like I'm all experienced when it comes to girls. But…I think she likes me, too."

"And now for the big question…what about Oz?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "He's in L.A. with the guys."

"Conveniently out of town," he noted. "Have you guys been having problems – going from high school to college changes people and they start to drift apart. And what about, ya know, in the bedroom? Things okay there? Not that I'm looking details…well, maybe a few details."

Willow rolled her eyes. "No problems, but…" She paused a moment. "Things have been good, but…"

"That's the second time you've butted, Will. What's going on?"

Willow again paused. She had known Xander all her life – they had learned about life together, everything from how to tie their shoes to the birds and the bees. Add to that he was currently sleeping with an ex-demon obsessed with sex. He probably could give her some advice.

"We haven't been seeing as much as we were before…we've both got heavy schedules and most of his almost non-existent free time he spends with the band. And his habit of skipping class to practice with the guys really worries me…I'm afraid it's like his senior year all over again, but flunking out of the university is not like being left back in high school," she bit her lip as if to illustrate her worry.

"And the other?"

She blushed again. "Things were really good at first, but with all the precautions we have to take because of his wolfiness, it kinda takes the spontaneity out of things," Willow said. "It's hard, ya know…to feel really close to someone with so many layers of protection between you."

Xander nodded in understanding. "But you guys manage, right? I mean you…"

"Oh yeah," Willow assured. "Oz makes me happy and I love him, but – I don't know…I guess I expected more passion. I always feel like Oz is holding back somehow…that he's afraid if he lets go his animal side will come out and hurt me. He's always gentle and caring, but sometimes…"

"Sometimes a girl wants to get a little wild," he finished. "Believe me Will, I understand."

Willow grinned. "I knew you would."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I'll go out with Tara tonight and see how it goes," she said with determination.

"You have to tell her about Oz," he urged.

"I will," Willow said. "Eventually. I just want to see what it's like spending some romantic time with a girl…at least once and with Oz out of town, it's perfect timing." Xander looked at her until she started squirming uncomfortably until she said almost angrily. "Don't look at me in that tone of voice, Xander Harris. I'm not out to hurt anyone."

"No matter what, Willow, you will hurt someone," he said. "We didn't set out to hurt anyone during the fluke, but we did. Didn't you learn anything from that?"

"Well, it's not like you've learned anything from your demon magnet past," she retorted. "I mean, do you feel anything for Anya or is she just a convenient bed partner? Won't that end up hurting her in the end?"

"Let's leave Anya and I out of this," he said, jumping off the bed as if to put distance between them. "This is about you two-timing one of my best friends and, from what you said, someone who sounds like a really nice girl and who has no idea what she's getting into."

Willow also rolled off the bed and headed for the stairs. "I came here for your advice, Xander – not your judgment. I thought maybe you would understand, but I guess I was wrong."

"Wait…" he called, but Willow had already disappeared up the stairs. "Oh damn."

By the time Willow reached her dormitory hall, she had calmed down. Once in her room, she reached for her phone and dialed Xander. To her disappointment, his answering machine picked up.

"Hi Xander," she said into the phone and paused. "I'm really sorry. I was totally off base. You're right and I will tell Tara, I promise. I just…I just want this one chance to see what it's like, ya know. I mean, am I just kinda gay or all the way gay? And I don't mean I have to sleep with her to find that out, I think I'll just know if I spend some time with her. I'll call you tomorrow and please…don't mention any of this to Anya. I know you have feelings for her and I'm sorry for what I said, but she does have a tendency to blab and no matter what happens, I'm just not ready to…'come out'…I guess. Anyway, I'll talk to you later."

Willow hung up the phone and looked at the mess of clothes still lying on her bed. On top of the pile was a note.

Willow
What's with the scatter? Not like you, O Organized Friend-of-Mine.
Out with Ri tonight, then patrol. Back late, don't worry.
Buff

At least she didn't have to worry about Buffy tonight, Willow thought. She glanced at the clock and grabbed her robe and headed for the showers to start getting ready for her date.