Part 4
Stutter

Willow nervously checked her appearance in the mirror for the last time. She had finally decided on dark slacks with a pair of low-heeled shoes comfortable for dancing in and a bright green tank top with a darker green wraparound over it, allowing for freedom of movement. She had kept her makeup to a minimum and wore only some amber fragrance and a simple necklace.

After checking her hair, Willow looked into her eyes and froze.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "This is crazy."

She headed for the phone, but as she touched the handset she shook her head and paused.

"Who you gonna call?" she asked aloud.

Tara Maclay, a warm voice replayed in her mind. Willow remembered the feel of Tara inside her mind. It made her wonder how Tara would feel inside her body.

"Oh goddess," she moaned, the fantasy sending jolts of arousal through her body. She shook her head and grabbed her coat off the bed, consciously not looking at the Dingoes poster pinned to the wall.

Willow walked up the steps to Tara's dorm, the butterflies in her stomach turning back into caterpillars, nauseating her even more. She paused at the door and was rudely bumped aside by a muscular guy in an athletic jacket. She sent a scolding frown in the jock's direction, but he ignored her.

"Jerk!" she called.

"Nerd!" the guy tossed back over his shoulder and that's when she belatedly recognized the guy she had to tutor in high school.

A wave of depression washed over her. She was a nerd so why would someone as special as Tara want to go out with her? After her conversation-cum-argument with Xander today she'd realized some things she had been ignoring. She and Oz were growing apart. In high school, they had a lot in common, but even in a small university, they were starting to lose each other. Her interest in magic and his interest in music were at two opposite ends of the spectrum and while couples with different interests could maintain healthy relationships, their common bond – school – was a source of contention between them. Willow was, and always had been, driven to academic success; Oz treated school as a way station to his musical career. However, Willow knew that while he was good, success was a fickle lover in the music industry. Even if he made it, he could become a has-been in a flash and without an education to fall back on, Oz could find himself on hard times.

And as for their sex life, it seemed like it too was starting to fizzle out. They hadn't made love for weeks now. Between Oz's practice sessions and classes and her Wiccan group meetings and Scooby stuff, they hadn't had time to hook up. And Willow didn't like sleeping over at the house Oz shared with his band mates…with the exception of Oz's room, the place was none-too-clean and noisy with odd folks coming in and out at all hours – definitely not conducive to study or sleep or romance. Except for class, they rarely saw each other.

And lately, Oz was avoiding the Scooby meetings and patrols. The demons in town were all wary of the commando group and while Oz was human most of the time, he did turn into a demon three nights a month and common sense told him that any group who could shove a behavior-modification chip in William the Bloody's skull was best avoided. So he kept himself scarce and while they missed him, the Slayer and her Scoobies understood.

Willow noted that Oz did try to make up for his absence in different ways. He called her often and left her cute emails. He flirted with her, loving it when she blushed and he was caring and attentive when they were together.

So Willow had no reason to question her relationship with Oz, content that they could continue as they had and together make it over the rough patch. And while she had privately recognized her attraction to girls for what it meant a long time ago, she had never had any urge to act on that attraction – until now.

"Willow?" a familiar voice asked.

Willow looked up to see the door swinging behind Tara as the blonde walked toward her. "Oh, hey," she said.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered, feeling lame, but noting how Tara's appearance was causing her heart to race. Tara had on a long-sleeved tie-dyed Henley and dark cargo pants along with her cute clunky boots. "Well, a little chilly, but good for me I wore my coat."

Tara frowned. "I saw you come up the walk from my window, but when you didn't knock I became worried."

"Oh," Willow said and bit her lip in chagrin. "Sorry."

"Come here," Tara said and gently pulled Willow away from the swinging door and passing students. "What's wrong? You're all scattered."

"You can sense emotions?" Willow asked.

"Just y-yours," Tara replied and looked down at their joined hands. "Can't you?"

Willow concentrated a moment and felt it. A low hum-buzz from Tara that she recognized from their earlier encounter in the laundry room. Through the connection, she could feel happiness, anticipation and stronger, worry.

"Yeah, I can," she said. "Wow."

"Are you okay?" Tara asked again.

"I'm fine," Willow said, realizing that all of her earlier worries were moot now that Tara was here. Then she remembered. "Percy called me a nerd!"

"Who?"

"Some jerk jock I tutored in high school," she replied.

"You're n-not a nerd, Willow," Tara said.

"Darn tootin'," she said with an emphatic nod. "At least…not anymore."

Tara added, "And someone named Percy s-should not be calling anyone a nerd."

They stood looking at each other for a moment, Willow entranced by how Tara's eyes glowed from the sodium-arc lights illuminating the sidewalk. Finally, she asked, "Ready to go?"

Tara nodded, then pointed back toward the door. "I just need to get my coat…it is a bit chilly. Wait here?"

Willow nodded and watched Tara rush away. She put her hands in the pockets of her coat and bounced on her feet in anticipation.

The dance was held in a large community room in Turner Hall. A table was set outside the open double doors. Willow recognized the girl who took her cash and gave back change and two tickets.

"That'll get you a free soft drink inside. After that they're fifty cents a can," Paula told Willow. "No booze…grrr."

"Thanks," Willow said. The two girls turned and as they went through the doors, Willow handed Tara her ticket. "Did she just growl at me?" she whispered to her companion.

Tara giggled and nodded. "She always does that, but only with people she likes. So consider yourself special."

The community room reminded Willow of the Bronze on a weekend night, and with the exception of a small group of guys hanging out near the DJ, the crowd consisted of women of every age, type and style.

"Wow!" Willow exclaimed. "I didn't realize there were so many…" She paused as she realized she was about to put her foot in her mouth.

Tara smirked. "Lesbians in Sunnydale?" she concluded.

"Yeah," Willow blushed but smiled at Tara. "But I didn't think the Lesbian Alliance had so many members."

"Not everyone here belongs to the group," Tara explained. "Many p-people come just to dance. A lot belong to the Gay/Straight Alliance, and those boys over there are in the Gay Men's Chorus. They also sponsored the event.

"I heard them sing at Freshman Orientation…they're good," Willow said. "But shouldn't there be more of them?"

Tara nodded. "M-most of the guys prefer to go to the club in t-town. You know – The R-red Oyster? They like it more private."

"Yeah, I've heard of that place," Willow said. It was the only gay bar in Sunnydale and the most popular after the Bronze. The gang had patrolled near it during the summer of the missing Slayer. "More private?" Willow asked, scrunching her face in confusion. She had assumed it was just like the Bronze – only gayer.

"You've never been there?" Tara asked.

"Me!" Willow squeaked. "No…you?"

Tara shook her head. "Too s-shy to go," she said. "But Stefanie told me that it has p-private rooms in the back. Not many w-women use them, but the boys do. That's how it got its n-nickname."

"Nickname?"

"The B-big O," Tara said and blushed sweetly.

Willow giggled along with Tara and thought she had never seen anyone look more adorable. Feeling bold she said, "Then maybe we'll go there someday soon."

Tara's blush deepened, but she smiled and nodded. "I'd…I'd like t-that," she finally said.

Willow smiled back and as they headed for the drink table to get their free cans of pop, Willow congratulated herself for successfully flirting with Tara. When they moved over to sit at a table to take a drink, Mia came over to greet them.

"Hey girls," she said. "Having fun?"

"We j-just got h-here," Tara said.

"But I'd say from the crowd, it's a roaring success," Willow put in.

"Yeah, things are a-hoppin'," the tall woman said looking around. Then she looked back at them and Willow again got the feeling she was being appraised. Finally, Mia nodded and said. "Tara, don't worry about your shift for the ticket table, I'll get Stef to take care of it."

Tara looked surprised. "A-are you s-sure?"

"Yeah…you just have a good time," Mia said and smiled. "Later!"

Willow watched as Mia walked away. Then she turned to Tara and said, "I didn't know you had to work tonight."

"Just volunteered to spend an hour at the table," Tara said. "I didn't t-think you'd mind."

"Of course not," Willow said and then thought of something. "Tara, can I ask you something?"

Tara paused a moment and then simply nodded.

"I noticed you seem to…" Willow paused and then continued. "You seem to stutter more when other folks are around. Why is that?"

Tara was silent for a long moment and Willow was afraid she had insulted her friend. "I'm sorry," Willow hastily interjected. "I really like your stutter and it's really cute and I'm really sorry."

Tara smiled. "You think it's c-cute?" she asked.

Willow nodded. "Uh, yeah?" she said. "Kinda dorky, I know, but it's just…you know, cute."

"Thank you," Tara said. "I stutter when I'm nervous," she admitted. "And I get nervous around people, but I'm not as n-nervous around you."

Willow's chest filled with happiness. "Wow," she whispered. "That's great. I mean, I'm comfortable around you, too."

"Good," Tara said. "Because, I think you're c-cute, too."

Willow looked into Tara's wonderful eyes and she opened her mouth to say something, but for a moment was at a loss for words. Finally she asked, "Wanna dance?"

Tara nodded and took Willow's hand as they walked toward the dance floor. Willow marveled at the tingles running up her arm and down to her…

Oh boy, Rosenberg, she thought. You've got it bad!