A/N: Two updates back to back. Wow! Well, in fairness I am struggling with writers block so I am doing the focus thing. Hope you enjoy!

Theda walked into the animal clinic with a tray of food. Dr. Surek was at the computer console, it appeared he was looking over the old records as he made a list of what he would be doing for the next several days. She cleared her throat, "Doctor, I have brought your evening meal since you did not come."

He lifted his head and turned toward her, an eyebrow quirking upward, "You have not done that before, no matter how tardy I have been."

"You have not behaved as you have these past two days ever in all the time I have known you." She countered as she approached and sat the tray down. "You have not spoken to anyone since arriving, and you have not critiqued me at all…"

He looked at the food, reaching out he uncovered the tray. He stared at the food thoughtfully for a moment, and then he looked up at Theda, "I am…disturbed." He ground out, "Before I left my home to come here I met a very aimable human female. She just moved into my building." He continued and stood up, placing his hands tightly behind his back, "It seemed that she was…" He paused debating on whether he should reveal this part, but in a bold move he went on, "Interested in a situation that may have concluded in our bonding." He paused there, and saw that Theda took a seat across from him. She was well schooled in hiding her emotions, but he was impressed that he saw no judgment or scorn from her, in fact he saw little emotion on her face. Her eyes burned him in the chest with compassion. "I found out though, not long after we arrived, that she had been murdered the same day that I left. Logic extremists blew up her work building, the explosion was centered under her desk."

"My heart grieves with you." Theda said, a small frown touching her lips.

"I did not know her well, Theda, however I believe the connection could have become more. Now though, I am questioning my compliance in her death." he said firmly, reaching out to pick up the tea cup on the tray.

"Your compliance?" Theda asked, clearly confused.

"I have known people who were LE affiliated and I did nothing. I have heard of other crimes of this nature perpetrated by the LE before." He took a sip and sat it aside, "I did nothing. I have even known of people who planned on teaching some of the stronger points of the extremist views, but I said nothing. I am…" He took a deep breath in through his nose, clearly struggling to suppress the topsy turvy emotions stirring in him as violently as the sand storms outside, "I am as guilty for her death, and the death of other non-vulcan or romulans, because I stood by and said nothing, did nothing."

Theda approached him. Even from a distance she could see he was so stiff his muscles trembled under the skin. She carefully placed her hand on his arm by his shoulder, "If you judge yourself by that standard then all of us are guilty, Dr. Surek. We all know people whose thinking is not good, that behave badly toward others. While their thinking and behavior is not good to harm them is no better. People are allowed to look on others with disgust, and most of the time that thinking doesn't cause physical harm to anyone. When they cross that line they deserve to be put to trial. They deserve the justice society levels on them. We cannot, however, convict people on mere thought alone. You never know where those thoughts come from, or if they will change their mind when they heal from whatever caused them." She came to face him squarely, "You aren't guilty of murder."

Surek blinked and saw her small hand on his shoulder. He frowned thoughtfully, "I will not allow harm to come to you, Theda." He looked from her hand to her eyes. "I will not allow the illogic of others to destroy you."

She nodded, her eyes smiling, "Then I feel safer now than I ever have. I have you, I have the animals, and I have a tribe of illogical vulcans all for my protection. Though do you think I need so much? How many people even know I exist?" she asked, and removed her hand from his shoulder, "That all said though, please eat and drink. If you are going to protect me you'll need your strength."

He nodded once and turned his attention to the food, "As soon as the storms abate I want Sokal to leave. His company, if not him, are involved in this purist ideology."

Theda was getting ready to leave and that made her eyebrows shoot up. He was going to take his self-appointed role as protector very seriously. "If we throw him out because he could be one who is a purist then how will he come to realize that I am charming?" She teased.

"There is a whole planet of charming humans he can study if he has such a need to discover humans are not vile, Theda." He said flatly, picking up his utensils to eat, "He does not need to discover my human."

Her mouth parted and her head cocked to the side. She began to say something, but given his compromised emotional state she thought better, and she simply left.

888

Last meal was even more silent than usual. Theda had prepared and served the food and then left with a tray. Sokal was distracted, and Tilly took her food outside leaving Saru alone with Sokal. Saru guessed that perhaps Tilly felt embarrassment for kissing him.

The thought that she was embarrassed amused him slightly, but the ghost of a thought that was slowly climbing into where his ganglia would have been terrified him, that she regretted kissing him. Then it confused him. He knew she had a crush on both his human face and him, so if she regretted kissing him it was perhaps because she wanted to kiss Saru and not Jonas, but both of them were him so as long as she didn't regret one of them he still won….but did he? If it turned out she liked his human face more than his normal face, he did not know what he would do.

With a deep sigh he drank down his water in two gulps and frowned. What he wouldn't give for some salt tea. He leaned back in his chair, pushing away his plate with the food mostly uneaten. Other than the Tilly issue, he was no closer to understanding the plots by the logic extremists. He did now, however, have a suspect. Sokal, sitting across from him, who seemed a touch ambivalent to humans, was messing with the barrier, "inspecting" the emitters. He knew he was going to have to do some devious moves and investigate his possessions.

Saru knew he needed to investigate this man. In the meantime, being cooped up in the storm was maddening. He stood and started to clear the dishes and clean the kitchen. He watched as Sokal got up and made his way to his room. Saru knew that he might not come out for the rest of the night, he would have to wait until tomorrow until he rummaged through the vulcan's possessions.

When the last plate was clean he turned and saw Tilly standing there looking like an innocent girl, staring up at him with big eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but she beat him.

"Could you…follow me?"

"Of course, is everything ok?" he asked, as he wiped his hands on the kitchen towel.

"Yes, I just want to share a couple things with you."

He smiled softly, "Well then I look forward to this."

Tilly started to walk out the door of their cabin and soon Saru fell into step next to her. "So where are we going?" He asked.

"I want to take you to the cave Theda showed me. She has shown me where I can be without her and it's so beautiful I want to share that with you. I also wanted, more business like, to show you what mushrooms she consumes regularly. I tested them out and they are perfect for using them in a spore drive, which means a couple possibilities."

Saru was genuinely curious at that, "Really? What would those be?"

"They should be poisonous to her." she said flatly, "But maybe because she grew up in this environment she acclimated, or…she may be able to direct a spore drive like Stamets."

"Could that account for increased strength?"

Tilly giggled, "I can't think it would. I mean it's a fungi not a magic thing. If anything, I think it indicates genetic manipulation." She said and led them into the cave, "Which honestly, I don't think she'd be aware of. I don't think she IS aware of, I should say."

Saru agreed with Tilly. Theda was a competent and good person, and whatever was done to her was exactly that…done to her.

Squatting down to get into the cave, Saru crab walked down the narrow mouth until he got to an opening where Tilly was waiting. As his eyes adjusted to the light he took in a deep breath, gasping at how colorful the growths were.

"I know, right?" Tilly said, smiling up at him. "Stamets would die to get in here. The fungi we have he cultivated for a decade, these…these I estimate have been growing since before Vulcan was logical. This front cave is beautiful, the deeper caves are even more so, but they are dangerous without Theda here."

"That's fine, there is so much to take in just here." Saru was in awe of the colorful beauty, the luminous colors, everything, and just as he was about to get completely lost in the vegetation, he felt a small warm hand press into his and he looked down to see Tilly staring up him. To instigate a kiss, or any other physical contact, he thought that would be dishonest of him, but in that moment he wanted to, so instead he wrapped his fingers around her hand and brought it to his mouth as he had seen in old human vids.

Tilly smiled bright at him, "Such a gentleman."

Her kind complement took him off guard, since he was lying to her he didn't feel much like a gentleman. He wasn't a human named Jonas. He was Saru. They were all alone in the cave, nobody was going to see them now, in his heart he knew he should tell her so she could make her choice. "Tilly is there a place to sit down and take in this beautiful cave and talk candidly?"

Tilly nodded, "Yes, just around this bend there is a cave formation that looks like a bench. Theda called it Surak's bed."

"Very well. Lead the way."

Around the bend, just as she said there was a natural outcropping of rock that looked like a bed, complete with a crystal looking pillow. There Tilly sat and then patted the rock next to her. Across from the rock was a large wide crack in the wall of the cave with gently glowing fungi of all colors mixed with stalactite formations. It was a romantic spot full of beauty and mystery, Saru mused to himself.

He stared ahead, looking intensely at the beautiful surroundings, afraid that if he turned his head to look at her, one or the other of them might initiate a kiss before he had gotten off his chest the truth of who he was. He couldn't allow things to proceed under false pretenses. He would not be able to forgive himself if they were intimate in any way before she knew.

It was then that he found his mouth so parched he could hardly swallow, let alone open his mouth to tell her the truth. He inwardly chided himself. He had been bold through his life, leaving his planet, going through his change, captaining starships…and now in the safety of a cave with someone he cared very dearly for, he felt as if he might throw up. He placed his hands on his pants, palms down, and pushed and pulled them over his pants legs trying to wipe away the growing moisture.

"Are…you ok?" Tilly asked.

Saru didn't turn to look at her but nodded quickly, "Yes."

"Is this…" she waved her hand around herself and the area, "making you nervous?"

"N-not exactly." Saru confessed, "I do wish to be here with you, in this way." he began.

Saru couldn't see it but Tilly instantly felt more relaxed. She presumed that he just needed help getting started, relaxing, without a lot of thought she went up on her knees, placed her hand on his cheek, turning him toward her, and she very carefully placed a gentle kiss on his mouth.

Saru had been just taking in a breath a second before Tilly made her move so when her mouth touched his their kiss was deeper than either expected. And as the warmth of her mouth washed over him which started from his very core. Before he had an actual word filled thought, he instinctually lifted his hands and placed them on either side of her cheeks, a very kelpian instinct.

It was then, feeling the warm and very smooth skin of her face when he began to think in words again. Liar, he thought, remembering that she was kissing a human him and not him. He gently pulled back and looked down at her, her face still in his palms, her eyes still closed. "Tilly." He said softly, the tinge of guilt already building in his throat.

Her eyes slowly opened and she looked up at the man she saw as Jonas, "Yes?" she replied, shifting self-consciously in his hands, "D-d-did I mess up?"

Saru felt even more guilt, "No!" He replied with a gentle emphatic tone, " Not you at all. It's me."

"Ohnoyourmarried."she whispered, already trying to wiggle away.

"No," Saru said, taking her a bit more firmly into his arms, "No, Tilly, no. I am not married. I am…."

"Am I interrupting something?" A female voice said from just around the corner.

"Oh no." Tilly said and stood, "No! I was just showing ummm my husband this cave."

Theda came around the corner, "I couldn't find either of you, and given I just had to track down and re-pin the norsesehlat I was concerned."

Saru stood, "No, we were just leaving. I am sorry we weren't able to aid with the issue."

"It's fine, I am glad you weren't in the way or hurt. I am just getting ready to work on the whelping den again, are you coming?"

He looked at Tilly, and then Theda, "Yes, I am ready." He glanced back at Tilly, "Please wait up for me I wish to continue our conversation in detail later."

Tilly nodded, "Sure. See you when you get back."

Saru stood, helped Tilly up and kissed her cheek, "We will continue this tonight."

Tilly nodded and smiled up at him, Saru could see her mind racing and by how she fidgeted he presumed self-doubt was crawling into her mind. When Theda was back around the corner Saru gently tapped Tilly's bum with his hand and winked at her, as he had seen other human males do. The hot blush that came from her seemed to burn away the self doubt. He moved on ahead following Theda to where they were building the whelping cave.