Endings/Beginnings

Willow knocked again on Tara's door. She could hear the girl inside so she knew Tara was safe, but she was not responding to Willow's request for entry.

"Tara?" Willow called through the door. She glared at a young man who opened his door to see what the noise was and he hastily popped back into his room. "Tara, please…at least give me a chance to explain."

Willow stumbled as the door she was leaning against suddenly opened inward. She caught herself on the doorjamb and stood to face Tara.

"Explain what, Willow?" Tara said angrily. "Explain how that v-vampire is nothing but a big liar? Explain that you don't have a boyfriend or, or I'm not just a new plaything for you and him? Gods! I am s-so stupid!" she moved into the room and Willow followed, softly closing the door behind her.

"Tara no, that's not…"

"Is it true?" Tara interrupted. "What that Spike said…is it true?"

"Well, some parts," Willow replied. "Okay, most parts, but…but I'm not looking for a threesome for Oz and I…"

Tara let out a bark of laughter. "I k-knew you were hiding something, but I never imagined it was that. Everyone's got their secrets and here I was scared of telling you mine. I guess being part-demon is worse than being straight."

"I'm not straight!" Willow said almost angrily. "I think that kiss earlier proved I'm not straight. And wait…you're a demon?"

"Yeah, through my mother's line…my family said I'll manifest on my next birthday." Tara waved the thought away. "But you said you were a lesbian! You didn't tell me you were just some straight girl taking a vacation away from Boy's Town while her boyfriend was out of town."

"I never said I was a lesbian!" Willow defended and then thought how lame that sounded. "Okay, I didn't tell you about Oz, but…but at no time did I say I was a lesbian."

"Then why, Willow?" Tara said, her anger turning into pain. "Why l-lead me on like that? Why ask me o-out and treat me to the most wonderful date in my life a-and make me think we had a future together?" She sat on her bed and put her face in her hands. "Gods, I was even going to sleep with you. How p-pathetic is that?"

"Oh Tara…no!" Willow exclaimed and knelt down at Tara's feet. She pulled the other girl's hands away from her face and looked into Tara's blotched and teary face. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you that way. I just…" She paused and then sat back on her heels. "I always knew I liked girls, but growing up I was such a geek…always put on for being too smart or too Jewish or too much red hair. I only had two good friends growing up and they were both boys. There was one girl I was sorta friendly with, but hanging with the boys was easier…y'know?"

Tara nodded. "Yeah, I know how that is. Sunnydale's bigger than my hometown, but the social mores are the same."

"Yeah," Willow agreed, glad that Tara was giving her a chance to explain. "I spent so many years in denial that I convinced myself I was normal…not that being gay is not normal, I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Willow," Tara said with a roll of her eyes. Willow was glad that Tara's tears had stopped.

"Yeah, and for years I had a crush on my best friend Xander, because he was like the ultimate safe…totally clueless until it was absolutely the worst time possible…but that's another story." Willow quickly deflected Tara's question and continued. "And then I met Oz and he was cute and smart and geeky just like me, but way cool and a musician and he liked me! For the first time, someone wanted me for just me and I jumped at the chance of having a nice, normal relationship…well, until he turned into a werewolf, that is."

"Oz is a werewolf?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded. "And that whole thing about you being part-demon…so not intimidated, missy. Been there, done that."

"But then why did you ask me out?" Tara said, ignoring Willow's comments as if wanting to get back on track.

Willow bit her lip. "Ever since we started college, I've realized that I want more out of a relationship than just nice and normal," Willow replied. "And when we met…my gods, Tara…it was like my whole world just turned topsy-turvy."

Willow winced at the pins and needles in her legs and moved to sit next to Tara. "Until I met you, I was content to just let things with Oz go on, but now I realize that was wrong. I should have said something to him a long time ago."

"And now?" Tara asked.

Willow looked into her eyes as she brushed a stray lock of Tara's hair back behind her ear. "Now I know that even if you don't…even if you don't forgive me or think that you and I do have a future together, I can't keep living a lie. It's not fair to me or to Oz or to you or anyone else I might get involved with in the future. I mean, I really like you Tara. I think…I think I'm falling in love with you, but this is all so new and fast and I don't want to lose what's been happening between us because I think we're just meant to be."

Tara sighed and looked down at their still-clasped hands. "I…I don't know, Willow," she said. "You're right, it's so fast and I think we're meant to be, too, but I…I just need some time to get my mind around this. I think…I think we need some s-space. Give you time to decide what you want to do with Oz and decide if this is really what you want. W-why don't we meet somewhere, say a week from now? That coffee shop in town?"

Willow nodded. "Thank you," she said and then at Tara's confused look she said. "I mean thank you for talking to me and letting me explain and wanting to see me next week and not…what kind of demon?"

Tara seemed to take a moment to catch up to Willow's thought. "Um, I don't know," she answered. "I never saw my mother change and my f-father told me it didn't matter what kind of demon, that I w-was e-evil and had to be controlled. I didn't stick around long after my m-mother died to find out what he meant by control."

Willow frowned. "Well, I think research is in order." Willow moved over to Tara's desk and pulled a piece of paper and a pen and wrote something on it. "This is Giles' number and address…he's Buffy's Watcher and he's got plenty of books and stuff on demons. He'll be glad to help you and after next week, I can help, too…that is, if you want to?"

Tara looked at the paper. "I'd be foolish not to want to be friends with you, Willow," she said. "And I'd welcome finally getting some answers on this demon thing. It's been driving me nuts, n-not knowing what's going to happen to me next year."

Willow smiled. "I know you, Tara. I don't care how many horns or tails or warts you grow, I doubt you could ever be evil. I know for a fact there are good demons and if you are a demon, I'm sure you're one of the bestest. Call Giles…he lives for this kind of stuff."

"Okay," Tara said and they moved into that horrible awkward silence.

"Well, I better go," Willow said and Tara nodded, following Willow to the door. "I'll see you next week at the Pump…seven okay?"

Tara nodded. Willow looked at her and hesitated, but when Tara made no move, she opened the door and quickly left.

The dorm room was empty when Willow arrived. She turned on the small bedside lamp she had bought to replace the one Spike had smashed. She frowned at the thought of the vampire, but then realized that she really couldn't blame him for what he'd done…he was just being himself and it was wrong of her to deceive Tara. With determination, she picked up the phone and dialed Oz's number.

"Hey, Oz, it's Willow," she said into the voice machine. "When you get back, can you come over…no matter what time? There's…there's something I need to talk to you about. Bye."

A week later…

Willow had arrived at the Espresso Pump an hour before she was to meet Tara and during that time she had drunk three mochas and was bopping around in her seat. Just when she was about to order a fourth, she spotted Tara walking up the street. Her heart started pounding at the sight of the beautiful blonde. She realized she had missed Tara so much during the week and was tempted to seek her out, but she had been determined to give Tara her space.

"Hi," Tara said putting her canvass bag down on the extra chair and taking her seat.

"Hi!" Willow said, a goofy grin on her face.

Tara looked at her and smiled. "I'm not a demon."

Willow's smile grew. "I'm not straight…and I'm single."

"Not anymore," Tara said and took Willow's hand.

The End