A/N: Thank you all who are reading and reviewing. Sorry I have been away for a bit. You know how life goes `\0/` One struggle after another. Here is the newest chapter and I promise it won't be that long between next chapters. I am already working on it and another chapter in my story "She who is my mother in law" LOL Hope you enjoy!

Theda rang the chow/break bell. The moment she turned around Sokal was there, standing with his hands behind his back, and looking a touch disheveled. "Jolan-Tru." Theda said with a grin, "We are having mid meal in the guest house, and I will take Tilly off your hands after."

He nodded once, "Can you...tell me something?"

Saru was approaching from the West, he could see both of them, but from the angle he was standing they could not see him.

"I can tell you lots of things, Sokal." She said, a small smile playing over her lips. "What specifically would you like to know?

"Your humor is," He paused, "Not good, even by Vulcan standards."

She covered her mouth, a blush falling over her face, "I never said I was a great humorist. What, Sokal?"

"Are you a mixed breed?"

Her jaw dropped a little, and Saru got as close as he dared. "No." She said, her voice strained, "I am human. Plain and simple. Hooooomaaan."

He cocked his head slightly, "Has that result been tested genetically?"

Saru saw her walking toward him, "No. No it hasn't." She replied, "And it's not going to be." She said, barely missing shoulder checking him as she walked past him. "Are you looking for reasons to hate me, or reasons not to hate me? Does it somehow make me more acceptable if I'm a half-something?" She asked, her voice thin and firm.

He raised an eyebrow, and when he opened his mouth to speak she turned, "Or, is it that AAAAAND, "she drew out the and more, "You may be attracted to me, and you want to feel that it's acceptable, because I'm half-vulcan or half-romulan, which isn't perfect, but better than say, what I really am...which is human." she put her hands on her hips and cocked her head so her long black hair flipped to the side.

"I see you have a vivid imagination." he started to retort, but then he stopped talking because really that was what was going on, even though he didn't want to admit that. The complexity of his situation was causing cognitive discord, and his logic was not aiding him. She wasn't wrong, and that was the part that he disliked the most. When he looked up again to answer she was gone.

Saru watched the exchange and saw Theda stalk off. She didn't seem upset, but the vulcan on the porch seemed to him like she may have gotten closer to the truth than he wanted to admit. With that, he saw who his first and only suspect was. He was about to follow Sokal, and perhaps talk to him, when he felt petite hands groping for his eyes, missing, and grabbing his cheeks instead, "Dammit. I was trying to cover your eyes and ask you to guess who I am."

Saru turned and grinned down at Tilly. "There are only five of us total, three men, two women. I just saw Theda head to the guest house, so I would have guessed even if you had covered my eyes."

Tilly pouted slightly, but grinned, "Yeaaah, I didn't think that all the way through." She came around to walk with him side by side. "Sooooo," she sighed, "I've been thinking all day about what you asked me, about who Saru is to me and why I keep awkwardly flirting with you." Tilly swallowed thickly, but braced herself to speak because as her best friend often pointed out, you have to visualize what you want and see the steps it takes to get there. "Ok," She could already feel herself getting nervous, "So, really, Saru isn't...he...isn't anything but my commander. There is that." She looked at the man she saw as the human Jonas, and made a wide-eyed face, "At the same time…" Tilly gave a pause, "I have a massive crush." She stopped short and then realized she hadn't been specific enough, "On him." She held out her hand as if to say please don't say anything yet, "It's complicated. He is on his home planet right now, he is my superior officer, and I'm not sure that he would even see me on the sensors of being an acceptable," She shrugged as they walked together, "Acceptable mate, errr, whatever he might call that. I don't even know if his species mates for life, like marriage, or if they partner. I haven't found anything on all that." Saru opened his mouth to try to get a word in but the break in Tilly's verbal barrage was only to take another deep breath. "And that connects to you, because you are very nice, gentlemanly, and kind." She looked at him briefly and then looked away toward the house they were nearing, "All things that remind me of Saru, and you...are like body wise, a human version of him." she said, and without thinking ran her eyes up and down Saru's body, and the appraisal seemed to him to be more than favorable, "So, I have been awkwardly hitting you, here and there." she added shyly as she stepped onto the steps to the back porch where they would rest in the heat of the sun, "That's all. It's just silly." she shrugged, and hopped up the two steps and darted to the seating, to avoid allowing him to respond.

If Saru had an answer to all that, he would have stopped her, but the truth was he didn't have a quick answer. He knew he was flattered, and he knew she was being genuine. She was truly attracted to him, no matter what he looked like. He blinked. That was so rare. He wouldn't have thought that he would have attracted a human in his natural form. Thinking on that, it seemed rare and miraculous. She was attracted to him, not his looks, or who he was, or his title, but him, the being he is.

Sokal stepped near him, breaking him out of his thought trance. "Are you physically well?" Sokal asked, running an eye over him, "Are you ill from the heat?"

Saru blinked, "Oh, no. I was lost in thought." He said, flashing a quick toothy smile. Sokal was about to step away when Saru took an opportunity, "Say, I heard what sounded like some heated exchange between you and Theda, is everything well? Can I help?"

Sokal turned back and looked at Saru, "Not at this time." he turned again, and walked away.

He wasn't good at being a secret agent, he only hoped he could manage enough that Theda didn't meet the fate that the other humans had.

Tilly cleared her throat, her nerve about the discussion they had completely gone, "I…I have to go catch up with Theda…" She gave him a nervous grin, "We'll talk later…" she mumbled out the last part and dashed off toward where Theda had walked away.

Saru watched as Tilly went, he said nothing. He was lying to her by not telling her who he really was, and he was obtaining information because of his state that he wouldn't ordinarily get. He didn't exactly know how to handle this.

888

Theda handed Tilly a light for her head, "Other than this, you won't need much. It's one path in, and one path out."

Now Tilly was excited. This is why she was here, "You will be with me?" she asked, curious to see if she would also get to spend time with Theda.

"Yes, it's hard to get lost in, but that doesn't mean it's safe. I will be with you until you are comfortable on your own." She said, giving Tilly a smile, and strapping on a lirpa to her back.

"Woaah, why the huge…" she waved to the large weapon.

"Because not everything is in a cage in the Forge, and sometimes, I get wild visitors through the cave complex." she smiled, "It's ok, Tilly, I take this any time I go into any wild area."

"Ok, but we are fairly safe?"

"Yes." She started into the mouth of the cave, "Stay close, I don't want you to get eaten…"

"Eaten!" Tilly squeaked.

"It's a joke." Theda said, "Yes, it's for protection but also to help collect samples too. Some of the fungal subjects are as wide as trees."

"Oh this is going to be fun. Finally, something I am good at!" Tilly pumped her fist, much to Theda's amusement. "So, can we like...girl talk?" Tilly asked as they entered the cool darkness of the cave.

"I'm not sure what that means." Theda confessed, "Whatever you wish to discuss is fine with me."

"Men." Tilly said firmly.

"Your husband?" Theda questioned, "He seems like a devoted sort of being."

In her mind she cringed, she literally forgot that she was supposed to be married to Jonas. Then she decided to play the oldest trick in the book, and given that Theda didn't seem to know any of those old tricks, it would work, she was sure. "This is a friend of mine, who has asked me for some advice, and I don't have a clue what to say."

Theda picked up what she said without any suspicion of subterfuge, "Ok, so you want my opinion on what you should say?"

"Something like that. I want to hear what you would do, and base my advice on a mixture of that and my own thoughts." She offered, looking to see if Theda was suspicious, which it didn't seem she was.

"So my friend. She has a crush on two different guys who look and act pretty close to the same. The one is a commanding officer, he is from a completely different race, and I think is fairly unattainable. The other is a human, of higher rank, but not her commander, and has all the same noble qualities the other has. He is more attainable. Does...my friend...try for the other guy, and if so does she give up on the one who is human. Does she go for the human guy, and forget the other?"

Theda helped Tilly navigate the dim and at times cramped areas, and she listened intently. "The logical choice is the man that is truly accessible to her." She said, holding up a gloved hand to take Tilly's and guide her down a steep slippery section.

Tilly took her hand, "That was super easy. How did you come to that?"

"Because unless she is willing to remove herself from his command, it's not really love is it?" Theda said, showing more of a Romulan sensibility, "You can't mess with your commander. That would potentially destroy two careers. I would think if she loved him, she would be willing to risk it all and step down, to have the chance to have a relationship. If the other man is as noble and good as you say, it is worth taking a chance on him rather than lose the life you had."

"That is an interesting take."

Theda shrugged, "I don't know much about relationships, but that just seems right, I guess." She kept going down into the depth, which was now a stable cool temperature, "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Tilly said, noting that there was some really neat ancient vulcan art on the walls in this section of the cave.

"Do you love Jonas?"

"Yeah," She answered honestly, "Yeah ,I guess I really do."

"Then keep him. He is a good man." she glanced back and smiled, "This next section is what you came for." She said, letting Tilly go first. "But these are smaller, much smaller, than the ones deeper down.

The cave was Tilly's dream, full of the most beautiful fungi she had ever seen. She walked into the cave, her mouth agape, "Wow." she whispered, walking into the midst of a treasure hoard. "And you say there are more, deeper?"

"Yes, and they only get weirder."

"This is so awesome…" Tilly gasped as she approached the mushrooms with awe in her eyes, "I've never seen any like this."

"Those are the ones I eat." Theda said, "The larger ones at the back may be more interesting."

"You eat these?" Tilly said looking between the mushrooms and Theda, "That's wild, I wonder…" she trailed off as she took samples of the mushrooms, and didn't finish her sentence, but she was wondering if Theda might be able to connect with a spore drive since eating the raw mushrooms were lethal under normal circumstances. There was so much testing to do, it was going to give her Stamets a lot to research.

That thought gave her pause. If she wanted to be with Saru, even if there was a possibility of it, Theda was right. She'd have to figure another path off Discovery. She knew that the Federation was working on more spore drive technology, perhaps she could do that. She frowned as she collected the specimens. Maybe, just maybe, the home she had made for herself on Discovery was over. It didn't seem like it should be, she'd sacrificed everything for that ship, crew, and their mission. When you do things like that it seems like you should live and die there. Shaking her head she slowly placed the sample in her container.

"Tilly, you look like you are chewing sand." Theda said, louder than she normally spoke, as if she had been trying to get her attention.

"Huh?" Tilly said with a blink, looking up at Theda who was now sitting on a ledge of the cave above her, "H-How did you get up there?"

"You were lost in thought or you would have seen that I climbed up here with my ankle tether and muscle."

Tilly shook her head, and carefully stood dusting off her pants. She was attracted to a type of man, that she knew, but now she realized she was attracted to a type of girl friend too. Just like Michael, Theda was a definitely a focused and intense woman. Tilly couldn't help but want Theda in her life just like Michael. "Anyway, what did you need?"

"I said it looks like you are chewing sand. I expected a…different reaction to this cave from someone who studies such things. Does the cave not meet your approval?" She asked plucking a small mushroom from the ceiling of the cave, dusting it off to take a bite.

"Oooh, no! I love this! This..this is my…jam" She replied with an emphasis that was too awkward to be cool.

Theda raised an eyebrow, "It's normal to look this miserable when you are pleased?"

"I have big decisions ahead of me." Tilly replied, a slight from tugging at the left corner of her mouth.

"This is why you have anxiety." Theda said.

Tilly's eyebrows furrowed, "That was random…and how do you…"

"Where you are, you never there." Theda replied, "I have watched you since you arrived. I have not been in close contact with another human female, I was interested to see what you were like. I see in you and Jonas that neither of you seem to be where you are at any given moment. You are in a cave that nobody has explored, full of a thing you claim to be your jam, but you haven't been in the cave at all. Your face tells me that you are winning arguments in your mind."

Tilly's lips puckered, "You…aren't wrong. That is so aggravating."

"My observation or your condition?"

"Both." Tilly replied, a small sheepish grin playing at her lips as she looked up to see Theda take a bite from the mushroom. "It seems like I have a desire to be friends with women who grew up in a vulcan way, assertive, self confident, blunt, and logical."

"I would consider it a boon to have a friend," Theda said, looking down at Tilly with a subtle fondness.

"As your friend…." Tilly said, carefully moving through the different fungi, "how can you eat that? It has to be vile."

"I normally dry these type and make a tea for the morning."

"I need to introduce you to my boss." Tilly said, now focused on taking more samples.

888

Sokal made his way to the barrier keeping out the raging sandstorm. His scanning equipment wasn't working, and he had no real way of knowing which of the field emitters they had sabotaged, or even if it was sabotaged right now. There was also no way to know until he saw it if there was a way to get a message to the group, or fix the emitter before it malfunctions. He was having second and third thoughts about his involvement in the Logic extremist group, and about allowing Theda to die at their hands.

She served a purpose and was not, as far as he could deduce, contaminating their culture. While he did not approve of her connection with the tribal vulcans, he could understand the logic of such a partnership in this terrain. She did not seem to be overly emotional, like the other human. It did not seem logical to kill her, at least not now.

888

Saru had been on his way to meet Theda to work on the whelping den when he saw Sokal disappear behind an outcropping of rock, heading to a part of the sanctuary unknown to him. This may be a lead he was looking for, he thought, and after looking around to make sure nobody was there he slid behind an empty stall and using his Kelpian dexterity and speed followed behind the vulcan, as silently as only a former prey species could.

888

Sokal looked over ten of the thirty shield emitters, taking time to go over everything as finely as possible. There were only three days left before the storm started to abate and the sabotaged emitter would explode. He didn't think he had missed anything, but it was hard to tell given that they needed to remain operational due to the storm. It was also getting late, near time for last meal, and he needed to return before he was missed. He also felt the need to meditate as his mind was conflicted with what he was learning and what he believed he knew. He stepped away from the emitter and made his way back down to the trail.

Saru had been watching Sokal the entire time from the safety of an outcropping of rocks not far from the vulcan. He could not determine what Sokal was attempting to do. As someone who was supposed to repair the technology, Saru might have assumed that it was only that, at the same time it was not on the list of things Theda asked aid for. It made him think that he may have lucked into his first break. He waited until he saw Soka on the path, and with giant leaps and strides thanks to his Kelpian physiology he was down and waiting for Sokal on the path when he crossed.

"Greetings," Saru said popping out from around an empty animal pen, "Sokal."

Sokal didn't jump, but Saru could tell that he had taken the vulcan off guard. "What a long day of work so far, wouldn't you say?"

Sokal did not stop to greet Saru, "Indeed." he replied and kept his pace.

"I have been looking for you." Saru said, stepping in just behind the vulcan.

"I thought I detected an issue with the shield emitters." Sokal said flatly, "Now excuse me." He did not turn back to look at Saru, he stepped off toward an animal bathing area.

Saru stopped, but watched him as he left. It was then that he heard Tilly in the distance call out to him. He turned and saw Theda and Tilly emerging from a cave hole, "Jonas!" Tilly said, a genuine smile illuminating her face, "Oh, This cave is amazing!"

Saru turned his attention to Tilly. It was not nearly often enough that he got to see Tilly this excited. Theda was walking behind her, with her hands tucked neatly behind her back. "I take it you two had an excellent day?"

"Beyond excellent, Stamets is going to love this." Tilly said, rubbing her forehead with her arm, smearing the cave dirt across her face, "There are types of…" She paused, realizing she was about to nerd vomit, "There are a lot of useful fungi in this cave."

"I am sorry I did not meet you at the whelping cave," Theda said once Tilly had stopped speaking, "I took her deeper into the cave today than I expected, and with the deep drop offs did not think it wise that she be on her own."

Saru nodded, "The protection of my…wife is most appreciated." he said, looking at Tilly with genuine affection.

"I must go now and make last meal," Theda said, turning to walk away, "Enjoy the freetime."

Saru offered Tilly his arm, "How do you feel about a walk around the compound, and a quick refreshing before our meal."

Tilly grinned and took Saru's arm, "What a lovely husband I have." she said, looking back quickly at Theda who didn't seem to hear or pay attention to that exchange.

Once they were walking alone Saru spoke, "So how did you find your afternoon with Theda?"

"Excellent. She doesn't know much about mushrooms, or you know…experimental physics…but she is still pretty clever." Tilly said eying the fact that even though they were alone, with no need to masquerade as married Jonas had not dropped her arm from his.

"Does she seem…more than human to you?" Saru asked in the softest voice he could that she might still be able to hear.

"Clearly." Tilly said, "I don't know how genetic manipulation is seen in this time, but I know the trouble Stamets had when it came out he had space tardigrade DNA."

Saru couldn't fully acknowledge that issue, because that would definitely give his identity away, but he remembered the problem. It did seem that they had genetically manipulated her beyond what had been agreed upon, and he did not think the Federation or Earth would be pleased. At the same time, she did not seem to be like the augments from the eugenics war. He supposed though, that it was his duty to tell the chain of command, he did not have the authority to make decisions about such situations. He looked down at Tilly, who he saw was looking up at him with a bright smile. "Yes?" Saru said, his face softening from worry like ice melting from the gentle warmth of the sun.

"Theda said today that I never enjoyed where I was because I was always someplace else and never where I was….or something like that, and now I see what she meant." Tilly carefully reached up and placed her hand on the man she thought was named Jonas's cheek, and going up on the tip of her toes she kissed him quickly on the lips, and then stepped back dropping her arm out of his, "Better go freshen up now…I am all fungus covered."

Saru was frozen, as the whole thing happened. Her lips were soft and warm against his skin, and he could smell the spores of fungi over her skin. It was over too quickly, and then she was gone. He found his heart beating a bit faster as she vanished from sight, and it was only after a thick swallow he was able to turn away. It was his first kiss…