Chapter 3: Unbowed
Renji stood quickly as Noa appeared from out of the back rooms, and the doctor's wife smiled at his obvious concern.
"How are they?" he asked, looking past her to the hallway.
"The boy is fine," Noa told him, "He had a minor head wound, but Michio is going to make him sleep through the night. It will do the boy no good to stay up all night and worry."
"And…Byakuya?"
"B-byakuya?" repeated Noa, frowning.
"Oh…he doesn't go by that name?"
"No," said the doctor's wife, shaking her head, "He is a teacher at the Inuzuri school he helped to found. Everyone just calls him Master Bya. Michio is still healing him. The wound was very serious. It was good that you brought him so quickly. He lost quite a bit of blood, and being undernourished to begin with is making his condition more tenuous. Still, Michio expects he will make a full recovery."
"That's good," Renji said, a look of deep relief on his face.
"You may sit with him if you wish. He will be somewhat groggy for awhile and he shouldn't do too much talking, but waking to a familiar face will be good for him."
Not caring to explain their complicated circumstances, Renji merely nodded and followed her to Byakuya's room. Noa opened the door and Michio stepped out, a weary expression on his face.
"He has gotten through the worst of it. He merely needs rest and proper care now."
"Thank you, Michio," Renji said gratefully.
The old doctor looked back into the room, where Byakuya lay sleeping.
"Sad that he should be so burdened. He should never have come here…but he has been a gift to this town's children."
"Noa said he is a teacher here," Renji said, following the doctor's eyes to Byakuya.
"Yes. He appeared about ten years ago and settled into the little glen at the edge of town. He and a man named Tsuneo founded the school. Tsuneo cares for the grounds and Bya teaches the children. For most of the kids, it's the only time they eat. He teaches them to grow food, to care for themselves, self-defense and while he's at it gives them more than a little book learning too. I go over once a week to teach them herbal remedies and basic first aid."
The doctor's frown deepened.
"Tsuneo has tried to convince him to move into town, but Bya has so far refused. They…"
He broke off as the door opened and a tall, sturdy looking man with short black hair and gentle brown eyes burst into the office. He spotted Michio and Noa and hurried towards them.
"Where is he?" the man asked worriedly, then he spotted Byakuya through the open door.
He rushed past them and into the room, sitting down beside the bed and taking the unconscious man's hands in his. Michio and Noa exchanged glances and walked back out into the office. Renji watched from outside the door as Byakuya stirred and opened his eyes.
"Bya," Tsuneo said urgently, "The children came to find me. They said you and Ronin were injured by hollows! I came as quickly as I could."
"I will be fine," Bya assured the man, "but the older children will have to look after the younger until I am well again."
Tsuneo shook his head and sighed.
"Can't even think of yourself for a minute, can you? You've always been like that…but then…that's what makes you different."
He paused and looked out the window.
"You should have moved into town like I told you. I could be there for you…"
"I know that…but we've spoken about this. It wouldn't be fair to you. Tsuneo…things are…complicated."
The other man chuckled softly.
"They always are with you, my friend. But truly, I'm not asking you for anything. I won't deny my feelings for you, but that's not why I am asking you to move in with me. I just want to help you…"
"But your feelings are exactly why I will not take advantage, Tsuneo. I owe you a great deal. You found me when I was injured and helped me to build the life I have here. I wish that I could repay you for that…but…"
"I know. But you still think about her, don't you? Ronin's mother? I know you won't speak of her, but…"
"The circumstances surrounding Ronin's birth are complex. But my heart is very clear in it's choices. My focus must be on my son."
"But Bya…you deserve some happiness too. Whatever happened between you and this one you loved, you shouldn't have to spend your life alone because of it! I won't pressure you for anything, I swear. I only want to be close to you and Ronin."
"Yes," said Byakuya, reaching up to touch the other's face, "but your very kindness, your willingness to set aside your own feelings is why I must refuse. You are a good friend, Tsuneo. But my heart is in a place where none can enter. Not even one so deserving as you."
"Very well," sighed the other man, "at least allow me to help as much as I can. I will gather the children and see what we can salvage from the wreckage of your home. And so that you can return to it, I will assist in rebuilding it."
"No…"
Tsuneo placed his fingers on Byakuya's lips, stopping him.
"I won't do it because of my feelings for you. It's only right to help where one can. Isn't that what you tell those children?"
Byakuya yielded him a grateful smile.
"As you wish, then…and…arigato, Tsuneo."
The other man's eyes softened and he rested a hand on Byakuya's face. Byakuya held very still as Tsuneo leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.
"It's nothing," he assured the injured man.
He rose and turned away, returning to the door and suddenly noticing Renji there. He met the redhead's eyes questioningly.
"A shinigami? And a captain? Bya…do you know this man?"
Byakuya's head turned and his eyes met Renji's.
"No," he replied softly, "I only thought that I did."
Renji gazed back at him silently and Tsuneo moved closer to him.
"Do you want him to leave?"
Byakuya sighed.
"I will speak with him. I assume he will leave of his own accord, soon enough."
Tsuneo glowered at Renji, but walked past him and out the door. The redhead moved into the room, closing the door behind him, then sat down in a chair next to the bed. Byakuya met his eyes with an unreadable expression. Renji looked back searchingly.
"I can hardly believe my eyes…" he murmured, "Everyone thinks you're dead, Byakuya…"
Byakuya stared at him wordlessly. Renji reached out and brushed the hair away from his eyes.
"What are you doing in a place like this? Byakuya, what happened to you?" he whispered, his eyes growing sad, "I'm sitting beside you and I can't even feel your reiatsu. Why?"
"Why are you here, Renji?" Byakuya asked, looking out the window, "Why did you come here?"
"I was assigned a mission that brought me here…but you…"
"Then you shouldn't waste time here and let your fukutaichou do all of the work."
"You saw Shuuhei?"
"Ronin did."
"Ronin…that's your son."
Byakuya turned his head to look back at Renji.
"Why are you here, Renji? We said all there was to say. You made your point clear and obviously, I accepted what you said. There is nothing for you to do here. You should go."
Renji let out an annoyed breath.
"Look, I know you're angry at me. I deserve that. But whatever happened, I still care about you."
"No," Byakuya interjected softly, "No…you never cared about me."
Renji stared.
"How can you say that?" he asked, his eyes darkening with hurt, "after everything…"
Byakuya closed his eyes and took a pained breath.
"You told me before…but I didn't understand at the time. You wanted to reach for the moon. And you did. I made myself vulnerable to you, despite knowing you wished to surpass me. You took me to bed so that I would open myself and give you what you needed to advance…to achieve your goals. I loved you. I gave you everything, taught you everything I knew…everything you needed to know. And once I set that haori on your shoulders, you turned on me and showed me exactly what a fool I was to trust you. Yes…you reached the moon…and you obliterated it. But it shouldn't have been a surprise to either of us, because you told me…"
"Byakuya…you know that's not what happened. It was a lot more complicated than that. But that doesn't matter. I found you. I found you and I'm going to help you."
"I do not need your help. I am grateful to you for assisting me. I might have died if you hadn't stepped in, but I want you to leave. You wanted to be free of me, and I let go. And when you walked away, you lost all rights to interfere in my life."
"Your life?" Renji whispered incredulously, "Byakuya, what kind of life is this for you? You're starving…not warm enough…you have to struggle for everything…and you have a child to think about. This is what you want for him?"
"Ronin is why I am here. As you may have figured out, I have no shinigami powers with which to protect him…and he is of my blood and a threat to Tsoyoshi. If he learned of my survival or Ronin's existence, then there would be nowhere left to run…and I could not protect him."
"Then let me protect the two of you…"
"No. You will only attract my cousin's attention. It is safer for us to remain beneath his radar. And besides, I'd rather not be witness to your relationship with your fukutaichou. I saw enough the day I left the Seireitei…"
A pained look crossed the redhead's face.
"It was you. You walked in and saw us together."
"Please don't tell me it wasn't what I thought," Byakuya said in a low voice, "There was little there to interpret, Renji. Clearly, you wanted to erase me from your life, but you could have just told me that you weren't in love with me and were leaving me for him. All of the posturing and pretending you were dragged away…and none of it was remotely true. If it had been, you never would have moved on so quickly. And in fact, it left me to wonder. When did you start up with him? Did you wait a whole week after dumping me or were you already fucking him while we were still together? Don't feel any more need to lie to me. You can't hurt me any more than you already have."
Renji closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Look…I'm not going to say you didn't see what you saw, but…what happened with Shuuhei was just him comforting me. It was over before it really began. He was only trying to help me get over you."
"But you left me! Why did you need comforting? And if I was so hard to get over, then why did you leave? What did I ever do to you? Or was it something I didn't do?"
Renji shook his head.
"It wasn't you at all…just…"
"It doesn't matter," Byakuya said, stopping him, "You moved on and I accepted that you left me. I moved on as well."
"To this? To inuzuri? Bya…you had unimaginable power…wealth…noble status…"
"But I didn't have the one thing that really mattered, Renji. I have that here. My life here has more meaning than it ever did when I lived in the Seireitei. I have control over my own choices, a son who loves me…and I give the children who live here hope of someday escaping this place. You dreamed of power and position…and you used me to find that fate. I am simply finding my own fate. You have no right to judge me or the life I choose to lead."
"I…I'm not! I just…it's just wrong. Byakuya, you always put your clan, your nobility at the top of your priorities…"
"I led them then. But love made me weak…and that being so, they did not want a weak leader. Someone stronger took my place and absolved me of any further responsibility."
Renji shook his head.
"If you're talking about your bastard cousin, Tsoyoshi, he isn't stronger, Bya. And he isn't doing your family any good, either. He's manipulative…power hungry…and only interested in himself."
"Perhaps that's what they need…and perhaps it is what they deserve. Either way, I have no power to regain that place and no desire to seek it. I have no interest in you and only wish that you would leave. You have already shattered my life once. Don't think for a moment that I will let you close enough to do it again. Leave, Renji. If you draw my family's attention, then you will only lead them to me…and I will lose my son. They will either kill Ronin or take him from me. Either way, I will lose the one thing left to me. I know you wanted to hurt me, but enough is enough. Leave off this vendetta of yours."
"You think I want to hurt you?" Renji said, sliding a hand into his, "I swear that's not it. You think this is what you want…but it isn't. You aren't truly free of them or free to control your life. And you want to pretend that I'm the one endangering you. But the truth is, you don't fear me. You fear them. Some part of you doesn't believe that I wanted to leave you. And I'm speaking to that part of you when I say…I am more sorry than you can imagine. I never meant to hurt you like I did. I let your cousin make a fool of both of us, Bya. And I swear to you, I won't rest until I make things right again…"
Byakuya shook his head, blinking to try to force down the tears that threatened.
"You can't make things right again, Renji. You can unbreak a heart that has already been broken and you can't unscatter the ashes of a dead fire. Please…just leave…"
"Dad?" said a voice from the doorway.
Renji turned and watched as Ronin crossed the room. The boy slowed as he reached Renji, his eyes meeting the redhead's questioningly.
"A captain? Dad? You know one of the captains?" the boy asked.
Byakuya held his breath as Renji studied the boy closely.
"You are Byak…you are Bya's son, Ronin?" Renji asked.
The boy nodded. Renji gazed back at Byakuya.
"Looks like I wasn't the only one who found comfort somewhere else. I'll leave you two, for now…but I will be back. You think about what I said. We'll talk later…after you've healed."
Renji rose and left the room, closing the door and leaning against the other side for a moment.
"What's happening here? Why are you like this?" he whispered, "I'll figure this out…and one way or another…I won't leave you like this…"
He turned and touched the door for a moment, feeling keenly the distance between them. Then he flash stepped away.
Inside the room, Ronin sat down in the chair where Renji had been. He smiled at Byakuya and took his father's hand.
"Are you feeling better? Michio said you would be all right. Was he telling the truth?"
"Yes," Byakuya assured him, "I will be all right. But Ronin, the time may come soon when we will have to leave Inuzuri."
Ronin glanced back at the door.
"Because of him? That captain?"
"I can't explain yet…but I promise I will soon. Just…for now, we'll…we'll move into town and stay with Tsuneo until our house is rebuilt. Come."
"B-but Dad, you need to rest!"
Byakuya shook his head and opened the window. He slipped outside and motioned for the boy to follow. Together, they moved around the back of the building, then disappeared into the people milling about the center of town. Renji followed behind them, keeping his distance…and behind him, a pair of hateful steel gray eyes gleamed.
"Got you, Cousin," Tsoyoshi whispered, "I knew he would lead me right to you…"