Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
Falling Walls
Part 4: Building a Wall
Sully stood just inside the door of the barn, simply staring off into the darkness of the night. All the chores had been done. There was nothing else to do but shut up the house and join Michaela in their bedroom. He took a labored breath and dropped his eyes to the ground. The minute Daniel had insisted on helping build Preston's house, the minute he had told Preston that they were friends – it had been as if a bridge had instantly been formed between them. Sully knew inside he still felt angry at Daniel's actions but he had begun the process of letting that anger go.
Turning his eyes back toward the house, he could see her form at the bedroom window and he stepped closer to the barn door hoping to hide himself there. Things were strained at best between him and Michaela. When he had returned home from town with Daniel, she had looked hopeful. Then he had told her about building Preston's homestead. After that it felt as if she purposely avoided his gaze at all costs. He didn't know what she was thinking; truth be known, he didn't know what he was thinking. Sully had done nothing but dream of their reunion while he was gone and now he stood outside while she waited for him in their room.
Their room- the words seemed to resound in his ears and all the feelings from earlier returned, this time without the anger. The strongest was the sense of inadequacy that had been building inside of him throughout the day. It had been this that drove him to take Preston's offer; it was this that kept him in the barn. A man takes care of his family. Did he take care of his family? Was he even a man anymore? He knew this cycle of doubt and shame wasn't going to lead to anywhere positive. Sully had been here too many times in his life but he felt powerless to stop it.
The words his pa had whispered as he lay dying still rang in his ears. "You're the man of the house now, Byron. Take care of your ma." Sully chocked back the rising emotion and pulled his jacket tighter around him. Granted he had been young, he couldn't have stopped what had happened but that didn't matter right now. His mother had died and he still felt responsible, he still felt as if he had let his pa down.
The words of the dock master laughing at him, telling him they didn't hire little boys who were the son of a whore. That hadn't been true but the words had hurt nonetheless. It had only been by luck that someone else had given him a chance. He worked hard often lifting things that were too heavy for him but he pushed himself wanting to prove to the world that he was a man.
The words of Loren as Abagail left the mercantile for the last time before they were to be married. "He isn't the kind of man who can take care of you," Loren had shouted angrily before turning his back on both of them. And then Sully had proved it to be true. The night at the clinic in Denver – the night Abagail and Hanna died; he hadn't heard the doctor's rude and uncaring remarks to his colleague. Sully didn't need to; he heard and saw enough to know.
"She should have had a real doctor," the doctor had said, his eyes meeting Sully's. The doctor didn't have to say another word; it was all there in his eyes. It was Sully's fault that they didn't have money- that he didn't insist she be taken to the doctor earlier. It was Sully's fault that he had put his faith in a poorly trained midwife who couldn't even perform the needed Caesarian section. Even if none of that was true that was what the doctor thought; her death was his fault because he wasn't a real man who had money.
The window incident before Michaela and he were married had raised these same apprehensions in himself. Yet somehow that had been different. The money was still their money and Sully had come to accept that. But to think of Daniel walking into the bank – to think of Daniel paying off his debt to Preston, it cut him to the quick. His feelings of inadequacy rose up inside of him and threatened to choke him. He was tired of proving himself and had truly thought that part of his life was over. Sully really believed that he no longer cared what others thought but then something like this happened and he might as well have been that scared little boy standing at his mother's graveside.
Again he looked up at the window. She still stood there staring out into the night, probably looking for him. Setting his mind firmly, he decided that he needed to tell her, to make her understand why he felt as he did. His chest tightened uncontrollably at that moment and he found it hard to breath as a sense of panic overtook him. Tell her, tell her, his mind said but he wasn't sure he could.
Michaela stood at the bedroom window looking out toward the barn where she had stood only a few nights before steeped in such despair. That pain was still very real to her. Somehow she needed Sully to know, to understand how hard this decision had been for her. When Sully had returned from town with Daniel, Michaela had been pleased to see that the rift between the two seemed to be on the mend. Though she was still perplexed about why Sully had agreed to build Preston's house. She knew how he felt about Preston and she had a feeling that if he truly understood what the man had put her through, he wouldn't have taken any work from him. Things had still been tense between them. Their eyes had met over dinner but she couldn't help but feel something had been missing. She realized she had hurt him but did he realize she had been hurt too?
The sound of feet on the stairs jarred her out of her thoughts and she turned to watch as he opened the door. Nervously, she folded her hands in front of her and bit down on the inside of her cheek. The urge to jump in bed and pretend to be asleep hit her but she forced herself to remain stationary knowing they needed to talk. Sully looked at her as soon as he entered, feeling the dull ache in his heart resound once again. Dropping his head, he closed the door and let out a low sigh. Methodically, he made his way across the floor to the fireplace and he banked the fire for the night as Michaela stood silently by watching him.
"Sully…" she whispered as he straightened back up. He turned to look at her again. "I don't know what to say to make this alright."
"Ain't nothin' to say," he replied.
Michaela furrowed her brow unsure of the meaning of his words. "I didn't know what to do." Her voice was quiet and soft but somehow the words seemed to resonate throughout the room.
"I know," he replied swallowing hard as he felt his own resolve begin to crumble. Tell her, his mind screamed out again. "Ya were only trying to save our house." Michaela let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding as relief swept over her. Tentatively she walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Sully turned slightly so that he could see her better. "I realize that."
"Thank you," she whispered waiting for him to reach for her, pull her into his embrace but he didn't. After waiting for a minute, she removed her hand, dropping it nervously to her side, still unsure what he was thinking. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Sully looked up at her shaking his head slightly as if coming back from some far away place. Tell her. "Really ain't anythin' to say. It's done now. We'll make the best of it and get on just like always."
Michaela nodded her head as tears pooled in her eyes. "It's nice of Daniel to stay and help you with Preston's house."
"It is," Sully said as he stared into the fire again lost in thought.
Michaela wasn't sure what to do and so she moved to the bed dropping her robe over the end. "Are you coming to bed now? I'm sure you are tired from your trip." Sully turned and nodded. He took his beads off and hung them on the bedpost, then sat down to take off his shoes. Feeling as lost as ever, Michaela moved towards him laying herself against his back as her arms encircled his neck. Sully felt her soft curves pressed up against him and knew what she was thinking. Normally his body would already be reacting but just the thought that he might fail her in this area as well increased his anxiety. She buried her face in his hair placing light kisses to the back of his neck. Slowly she worked her way around to his ear, and lightly nibbled on his lobe. "I missed you," she whispered.
"That feels nice," Sully said anxiously. He turned towards her on the bed and she instantly took the opportunity to kiss him hard on the lips.
"I am sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to," she whispered. Sully swallowed hard and nodded, unable to speak at the moment. He felt her hands pulling at the hem of his shirt and he realized that she was intent on their making love.
"Michaela," he said softly, looking up to meet her eyes. "I'm really tired tonight."
Michaela backed away immediately. "That's fine," she said with a forced smile. "I knew you would be. Come on and lay down. I'll rub your back for you if you like."
"Ya don't have to," he said complying with her words.
"I want to," she returned her hands already kneading his flesh through his shirt. Sully tried to relax but everything continued to swirl around in his head. His mother's death, Abagial and Hanna's death, the fact that they had almost lost their house and now added to the others, the fact that he couldn't even love her like a husband should. He was not aroused in the least. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep so that when Michaela lay down beside him she believed he was finally resting. She wrapped her arm around him so that it draped over his midsection. Sully swallowed hard – this was usually how he held her.
Daniel looked over at Sully and smiled as he thought about what a difference a good night's sleep could make. Of course he didn't know that Sully had only drifted off shortly before dawn. Things were not back to normal but he felt as if the major breech had been repaired. Michaela had been right – Sully was his friend and he needed to stay to repair that friendship. The only problem was that Michaela didn't quite know what she was asking. Now Daniel found himself in a doubly difficult position because staying meant fighting his feelings for her as well as concealing them from Sully. It wasn't going to be hard he told himself especially since Sully was back home now. There would be fewer times when they were alone together and that was for the best. It was much easier to remember his place when Sully was by her side.
His thoughts skipped to the past as he remembered his life with Sully. Never had he met someone who was so devoted to a friend that he would do anything for them. They had been inseparable once and that thought warmed Daniel's heart. The past made him happy for the present. After Sully had married Abagail, Daniel had truly feared he would never see his friend again. Yet here he was standing not more than ten feet away from him. It felt like old times working side by side, the only sound the grunts of their labor. It was in this moment that things became extremely clear for Daniel; Michaela was Sully's wife – his best friend's wife. She was forbidden territory and he realized the thoughts he had deemed innocent were not such at all. He shouldn't be thinking about her in that way. It was wrong – simply wrong. After all, would he want Sully to think about his wife like that?
Sully straightened up and stretched out his back while shifting the spade from one hand to the other. A night of little sleep on top of a full morning's labor was proving difficult at best yet Sully continued to push himself trying to keep his mind busy so he wouldn't think about the issues that had plagued him endlessly the night before. Things were still strained between himself and Daniel but as the morning had worn on, the coldness between them continued to melt. A couple of times now they had even joked around with each other.
"Hey Sully, mind givin' me a hand with this tree stump?" Daniel asked as he thrust the spade into the earth one more time.
"Sure," Sully grunted hoisting a large rock out of the roped off area. Silently he moved over near Daniel and as he shoved the spade under the roots once more, Sully pulled back on what was left of the trunk. Rocking it forcefully back and forth, Sully heard the remaining roots began to break. Daniel grabbed on and began to help as well until it was finally free. Together they lowered it to the ground,
"Fine piece a property," Daniel commented as they both took a moment to catch their breath.
"Yeah," Sully agreed wiping his face with the sleeve of this shirt. Daniel walked past Sully giving him a sideways glance, wondering if he was going to say anything else. He had been trying all morning to engage him in conversation. Daniel reached for his canteen and then moved to sit down on one of the remaining tree stumps. "Preston came to town, found out where the best spot was, then made sure he owned it."
Daniel looked up at him and smiled, grateful for the continued conversation. "The view sure is pretty." Opening the canteen he took a drink as Sully moved over to sit beside him.
"Lotta folks used to like to come out here and enjoy it," Sully added. Daniel passed him the canteen and turned slightly so he could hear better. "Lotta folks used to sit under this tree right here." Daniel looked around imaging what it would have been like to picnic here with someone and immediately Michaela's face flashed in his mind. Hastily he turned from Sully afraid he might read something in his eyes but Sully was still thinking about the land. "Til Preston cut it down."
"Sounds like ya got a long list a grievances 'gainst this fella," Daniel teased trying to lighten the mood and keep his own thoughts out of dangerous territory.
Sully gave him a slight smile "Well, it ain't like I'm keepin' track."
"'Nah, Course not," Daniel laughed, happy to see Sully smiling. Things felt more normal than they had all morning. He smiled warmly and slapped his friend on the arm. "Come on, let's get to it," he said officially calling an end to their rest.
The men worked on, the sun rising ever higher in the Colorado sky. The plan was to clear the lot and have it marked by mid afternoon. They both had been working hard and were actually very pleased with what they had managed to accomplish. The sound of an approaching rider caught Sully' s attention first and he turned to see Preston riding up to the property. Dropping his head, he rolled his eyes knowing that a visit from Preston meant bad news.
Preston dismounted and looked around smugly. Ever since he had arrived here in Colorado, he had wanted Sully to build his house. From the first time he had laid eyes on the Sully's house, he had been desperately jealous. Clearly it was the most beautiful home in Colorado Springs but as soon as his house was done that wouldn't be the case anymore. He had the money to build whatever he wanted and he deserved something grand. Preston had almost given up on the idea that he would convince Sully to build it but this opportunity had dropped into his lap. Every since he was a small child, he had learned that you only had to be patient and usually you could get your way. This case was no exception and with Sully working for him, he had the added bonus of getting a few digs in now and then.
Sully and Daniel continued to work, both pretending they hadn't noticed his arrival. Preston stood to the side, riding gloves in hand as he took in the roped off area. He raised his eyebrows and smiled to himself. Loudly, he cleared his throat but still neither man looked up at him. His smile changed into a frown as he finally resorted to speaking. "Sully," he called.
Sully looked up and shook his head slightly. After laying down the saw he had been using, he made his way over to where Preston stood and it wasn't long before Daniel joined them. "What do ya want Preston?"
"Just stopping by to see how the work is progressing and maybe have a look over those blueprints one more time." There was a nasty smirk on his face that Sully wanted to smack off but he controlled his temper. Grabbing the blueprints from the seat of the wagon he brought them around to Preston and unrolled them before him. Preston considered the document for a minute, making small disapproving grunts here and there but never saying a word. Daniel looked over at Sully and rolled his eyes. This guy was more trouble than he was worth.
"You're placing the bay window over there?" Preston asked looking from the blueprint back to the roped off area one more time.
"That's what we talked about. Said ya wanted to see the sun come up," Sully reminded him but he knew that Preston would deny it or simply change his mind just to create more work.
"Well, I put some more thought into that and, you know, I think I'd really prefer to see the sun set. " Again the smirk appeared on Preston's face. He returned his attention to the blueprints as Sully and Daniel traded looks. "Then the bay window'll face West." Preston smiled, happy to once again have gotten his way. Sully started to take a piece of lumber off the wagon with Daniel's help but Preston stopped him.
"Just a few more minor changes," he said as Sully glared at him. A heavy sigh escaped Sully's mouth and Preston felt even more arrogant just hearing it. "Perhaps you should follow me," he added confidently. Sully took a deep breath trying to will himself to stay calm. Slowly he turned and followed Preston to the far side of the site. Neither of them noticed that Daniel stayed behind or that Michaela rode up a short time later. Preston was too engrossed in his own plans and Sully was wishing he had never agreed to build this house for Preston. "What I'd really like is an entirely separate room -- with cabinets and shelves, room for a desk. A study. Preston pointed to the blueprints as he spoke knowing that he was frustrating Sully more and more.
"'Nother room?" Sully asked obviously annoyed with Preston's new addition.
"Yes." Preston turned to face him head on, smiling slightly. Sully let out a loud sigh as he hit his hand down on the board the blueprints rested on. Anger was now beginning to flood his chest but he told himself once again to keep it under control. "And I think now is a good time to discuss the scheduling change." Again the same smirk crossed his face and Sully tensed automatically.
"What schedulin' change?""I want my house completed in four months. " Sully met his gaze and realized he was completely serious."Four months?" Sully asked incredulously.
"Don't be alarmed, Sully. I'm offering you a ten percent bonus, a little incentive, if you finish the work in time. " Sully relaxed for a moment – it would be nice to have the extra money. "And if you don't..." Preston continued. Immediately, Sully tensed again, knowing that whatever Preston was getting ready to say wasn't going to be good. "Then I'll begin deducting wages with each day you run late. ""That ain't what we agreed upon, Preston. " Sully's face was serious and his stare penetrating as he moved a little closer to the banker.
"But surely this deadline won't be a problem for you. After all, you have your friend's help now. " Preston looked over at Daniel as he spoke, his eyes lighting up at the scene before him. On the far side of the site, Michaela and Daniel stood together, chatting and laughing. "Well, now. That must warm your heart, Sully. To see your wife and your best friend enjoying each other's company."
At Preston's words, Sully's face wrinkled in confusion as he turned his head. He hadn't noticed that Michaela was here before now. She was laughing, her face aglow with joy. Michaela glanced over at her husband and smiled, waving to him before turning back to Daniel.
Preston breathed in deeply. The situation couldn't be more perfect. "I imagine they got to know each other quite well while you were away." Sully turned his head letting Preston know he wasn't going to hear more of this nonsense. The banker backed down, taking a step away from Sully as he did so. Yet as Sully looked back at his wife and best friend, a strange feeling emerged within him. His face grew troubled as Preston's words echoed through his mind. Sully narrowed his eyes more as he watched Michaela take Daniel's hand in her own, giving it a light squeeze. Sully's stomach clenched and he swallowed hard, bidding his mind not to jump to conclusions. Daniel turned nervously to glance in their direction and Sully couldn't help but think he looked guilty.
"I better be getting back to town now," Preston said, his voice betraying the joy he felt at the situation. Sully only nodded his head briefly, his own voice caught somewhere in his throat. He stood and watched as Preston walked back to his horse, saying something to Daniel and Michaela in the process.
Sully wasn't one to get jealous easily. It was actually a rather foreign emotion to him. He trusted Michaela implicitly but he hadn't always trusted the men in her life. The first time he had felt it so strongly had been in Boston when he realized that William Burke had his eyes set on Michaela. Yet that had been nothing compared to what he felt when David had returned to Colorado Springs. He remembered standing in the shadows, watching as David told Michaela who he really was. The way she had hugged him as he had returned to the same scene with the family. The jealousy had been intense then as he imagined her kissing him- loving him. And now it all came rushing back to him in strong waves. Again, he swallowed hard and turned his back on the two of them, willing his mind to go anywhere besides where it was.
Deep down inside, Sully knew that Michaela would never be with another man but with all that had occurred recently Sully wasn't thinking exactly rationally. He felt like a failure in her eyes and Daniel… well certainly he was the hero. The one who had come through in the nick of time. The one who had saved their house when he couldn't. Sully knew that Boston always had a strong pull on Michaela and he had tried to make their home a nice place. Certainly it didn't compare to the finery of Boston but Michaela claimed she didn't care about that. Yet watching the two of them together all Sully could think of was what Daniel could give him wife that he couldn't. All morning he had tried to chase off his old demons of insecurity and now they had caught him again.
"Sully," Daniel called.
Sully turned and looked back in that direction for the first time in ten minutes. He realized Daniel was now all alone. "Where's Michaela?" he asked, confused and alarmed that she seemed only interested in seeing Daniel.
"Oh… umm… she had to get back to town. Had a patient to see." Daniel felt nervous and he knew it showed through in his speech.
"Why did she come out here?"
"Wanted to tell us that she had gotten paid in cash today. She was real excited."
"That's good," Sully mumbled.
"Yeah it is." Daniel nodded. "Wanna get back to work?" Sully shook his head and together they returned to the wagon and began to unload the lumber. They worked on through the afternoon, stopping for water breaks now and then. Neither ate lunch nor even mentioned the prospect. They worked quietly, the tension from this morning returning double fold. Daniel only had to glance at Sully to realize that he had guessed at his feelings for Michaela. Several times he almost broached the subject, only to hold his tongue at the last moment. In his mind, he tried to decide what it was best to do. Should he leave now? Could he stay on and convince Sully that he didn't have feelings for Michaela?
Again and again Sully felt as if he was going over the same thoughts – the same feelings. His body felt numb and he worked on, pushing himself even while feeling bone tired. The look on Daniel's face when he turned around had spoken volumes. He had seen the nervousness, heard the flutter in his voice when he had spoken to Sully after Michaela left. There was no denying the fact that Daniel was quite taken with Michaela; what Sully needed to figure out was how Michaela felt about him.
These same thoughts plagued him as they ended work for the day and rode towards town to pick up Michaela before going home. Daniel was pensive and Sully felt no need to force conversation, almost afraid to speak for fear that he would start yelling at Daniel then and there.
The wagon pulled up in front of the clinic and Sully called for Michaela who emerged onto the porch, looking radiant. "You're early," she said smiling first at Sully and then at Daniel.
As often happened when he saw her, Daniel momentarily forgot to watch his own behavior. Her smile, her air shining in the afternoon sun, the way she clasped her hands in front of herself – all made his heart swell uncontrollably. Jumping out of the wagon, he couldn't help but smile broadly at her, missing the way that Sully watched his every move. "How'd the rest of your day go?" he asked.
"I just put twenty-three stitches in Mr. Bailey's leg. At three cents a stitch, that's…" Michaela said, her face animated as she spoke. Daniel laughed lightly and smiled as he watched her. Michaela turned her face up to Sully and Daniel followed her eyes. It was only then that he remembered himself and instantly felt bad for being so jovial with her. His smiled quickly faded as he turned back to Michaela. She watched each of their faces, confused slightly. The tension from yesterday was back and she wasn't quite sure why. "I'll get my things," she said quietly slipping into the clinic.
It was then that Dorothy approached, heading back to the Gazette. She could feel the uneasiness of both men just watching them. "Afternoon, gentlemen," she greeted them looking from one to the other.
"Miss Dorothy," Sully said shifting uncomfortably on the wagon seat.
"Miss Dorothy, nice to see ya." Daniel's face was lined with worry and Dorothy glanced up once more at Sully who was already staring at the door of the clinic. She couldn't help but wonder what situation she had intruded on.
Her mind worked hard trying to think of something light to say. "Sully, I…. I understand the two of you are buildin' Preston's house."
"That's right.""Would ya consider fixin' a special lock on it so we can keep Preston inside now 'n then?" Dorothy smiled as she said it trying hard to add a little levity to the situation. "Long as I get to hang on to the key," Sully returned giving her a weak smile.
Michaela reemerged onto the porch with her medical bag in hand. One arm was in her coat while she missed the arm hole with her other hand. The coat slipped down. Quickly she moved in front of Daniel, thinking nothing of asking for his help. "Daniel, would you help?" she asked still struggling to reach the arm hole.
Daniel swallowed hard, his face growing uncomfortable. He turned to look at Sully unsure of what to do. Sully bit down on his bottom lip, looking away from the situation. Dorothy watched intently Daniel's hesitation and then glanced up to see the look on Sully's face. Things suddenly made sense. Sully was jealous of Daniel. "Sure," Daniel finally answered helping Michaela slip the coat over her shoulder.
"Thank you," she replied moving towards the wagon and waiting for Daniel to offer her a hand up. Daniel hesitated as he once again glanced awkwardly up at Sully. Michaela looked from one to the other even more confused by their odd behavior. Still she stood, feeling almost foolish as she waited.
"Here," Sully said quickly leaning down to take her hand and pull her up beside him. Sully took her medical bag from her as Michaela settled on the seat turning to face Dorothy. Daniel jumped into the back of the wagon. Again Dorothy glanced from Sully to Daniel – her suspicions now confirmed.
"I'll see you in the morning, Dorothy," Michaela said smiling at her friend.
"Alright Michaela. Gentlemen."
"Miss Dorothy." Sully gave her a nod of his head as he picked up the reins. Daniel smiled at her uncomfortably and also nodded his head briefly before turning his gaze elsewhere.
"Shall we?" Michaela asked cheerfully. Sully gave a slight nod of his head and snapped the reigns as he called to the horses. Dorothy watched them as they departed, making a mental note to talk to Michaela first thing in the morning.
The ride home was quiet though Michaela tried to make light conversation. She had noticed the earlier tension but she dismissed it telling herself they were only tired from a long day's work. When they arrived home, Sully jumped down quickly and reached up for Michaela before Daniel had even moved out of the back. "How was your day?" he asked in imitation of Daniel's earlier question.
"Good. Did Daniel tell you that I got paid today?" she asked still giddy with the news.
"He did," Sully replied. "And I'm real proud of ya." Sully hoped his words didn't sound hollow. He was trying his best to let her know that he too cared about her day yet somehow it all felt a little forced.
Brian came running out the front door at that moment with Katie in his arms. "Hey Daniel," he said greeting him as he jumped down from the wagon. He brought Katie to his mother and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.
Sully swallowed hard, instantly feeling replaced in Brian's eyes as well. He reached out for the young man and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Hey Sully," Brian said turning to look at him. He noticed the lined look on his pa's face. "Ya want me to take care of the wagon for ya."
Sully nodded. "That'd be real nice Brian. I'd like to get washed up before dinner."
"I'll help," Daniel offered trying to avoid going into the house right at that moment. Sully didn't even look at him or offer a thank you but simply turned and headed up the stairs of the homestead with Michaela not far behind. Silently, Sully moved into the house, through the living room to the stairs. His mind was lost deep in thought and he didn't even take notice that Michaela was following him until she closed the door of their bedroom behind them.
Sully turned abruptly, giving Michaela a weak smile. He dropped his eyes hastily as he sat down on the side of the bed. Michaela placed Katie in her crib and approached her husband determined to find out what was bothering him. "Sully is everything alright?" she asked tentatively coming to stand in front of him as he removed his shoes.
"Yeah," he answered unwilling to look up at her. "Just been a long day."
"What did Preston want?"
"Changing the plans already," he sighed. "Making new demands – bein' Preston." Michaela let out a chuckle at Sully's last words as he finally raised his eyes to her. "Ya look real beautiful today," he said reaching for her hand and praying she didn't pull away.
Michaela smiled and stepped closer to him, thankful for this small sign of affection. Sully gently traced small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Thank you," Michaela whispered as her cheeks blushed with her husband's compliment.
"I love ya."
"Oh Sully, I love you too." She took a step closer as Sully dropped her hand. Placing her hands at the nape of his neck, she pulled her head against him. Sully buried his face in the material of her shirt, breathing in deeply the scent of the woman he loved as it erased all his earlier doubts from his mind. He rested his forehead against her, wishing he could stay like this for the rest of the night. Michaela raked her fingers through his hair and leaned down to place a kiss to the top of his head. It was only now that she felt Sully's vulnerability and knew instantly that something was worrying him. "Sully you're not still upset with Daniel about the money, are you?"
Sully raised his head to look up at her. "No," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.
"Good." Michaela stepped away from him, sooner than Sully would have liked. "Why don't you have a rest while I make dinner? You look very tired."
"I am," Sully returned as he stretched out along the bed. He watched Michaela retrieve Katie and then come back to the bedside. She leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss which Sully relished as he reached up to touch his daughter. "My beautiful girls," he whispered smiling at them as Michaela pulled back.
Her face lit up with his words. "I'll call you when dinner is ready," she whispered backing towards the door. Sully closed his eyes, letting exhaustion overtake him. He didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to leave Daniel with his wife but his body was tired and he could fight it no longer. Sleep numbed his mind and he drifted off into a dreamless blackness, thankful for the soft bed beneath him and the lingering scent of Michaela in the air.
After dinner, they sat in the living room around a roaring fire. The atmosphere was comfortable and homey but neither Sully nor Daniel could relax. Uncomfortable glances passed between them. Brian stood across the room, reading one of his new short stories. Michaela was the only one who really paid attention. He finished and looked up expectantly for their reactions. "That's it," he concluded.
Michaela began to applaud which seemed to awaken Sully and Daniel. "Brian, that was wonderful. So descriptive." She smiled proudly at her son and he returned the smile.
"Real excitin'," Daniel added.
"It's your best one yet," Sully chimed in, feeling guilty that he had been so distracted during the story.
Brian grinned broadly, oblivious to the fact that only his ma had really listened to him. "Thanks," he replied appreciatively.
"Well ... you have school tomorrow," Michaela reminded him.
"I know," Brian returned rolling his eyes slightly. Hastily he exchanged good nights with the adults and headed over to the stairs.
Michaela let her eyes linger on the chess board for a moment before turning eagerly to Daniel. "Would you like to play?" she asked pointing at the board. "I'll play ya," Sully interjected before Daniel had a chance to answer. Michaela turned to Sully, surprise written on her face. The same look greeted him from Daniel but for different reasons.Sully felt on the defensive all of a sudden. "I know how," he assured them.
Michaela saw the hurt on his face and felt bad. "I know you do, you're a good player, but... ""Ya just gotta keep the board out from now on, else I never think to ask ya," Sully said as he interrupted her.
Michaela smiled at him broadly, wondering why he was suddenly so interested in playing chess with her. "I'd love to play chess with you." Her eyes danced in amazement, glad that Sully seemed so animated tonight. The nap before dinner had certainly done him a world of good.
"I think I'll turn in," Daniel said as he started to rise."Oh it's still early. Daniel, why don't you wait around? Sully hasn't played in awhile and uh… the game may not last for very long."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Sully teased almost seductively. Michaela smiled broadly as a light laugh left her mouth.
Their exchange left Daniel feeling worse than ever. This was his best friend he told himself but he still couldn't help the jealously that rose up in the pit of his stomach. "Nah… I'm a … I'm tired."
"Alright then," Michaela returned, ending her protest. Seeing the look in Sully's eyes suddenly made her want to be alone with him and so Daniel going up to bed wasn't such a bad idea. "I'll make us some coffee." She rose and headed for the kitchen.
"'Night, Michaela."
"Good night, Daniel," she called back from the kitchen.
Daniel looked down once more at the chess board and then back at Sully who was still glaring at him. His eyes were piercing and once again Daniel was reminded that Sully had guessed at his own internal struggle. Somehow he needed to prove to Sully that he didn't feel the way he did. Sucking in a sharp breath, he turned and headed for the stairs.
Sully followed him with his eyes, literally pushing him out of the room with his glare. He refused to relax until he was out of sight. The sound of Michaela returning from the kitchen stirred him and he sat up a little straighter looking around at her. She perched herself on his knee and leaned back into him. "If you don't want to play," she began trying once again to initiate some intimacy.
"No, I want to play," Sully defended missing her overtures.
"Are you sure?" Michaela asked again, this time turning her head to place a light kiss to his neck.
Sully tensed as the situation from last night flashed through his mind. The thought of inadequacy returned and he let out a shaky breath. "You're right… I never play with ya and I know ya enjoy it."
Michaela smiled as she pulled slightly away. "I do," she agreed looking back at him admiringly. "I'll just get the coffee."
He watched from the side of the room as he approached her, their eyes locking. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she moved into his embrace as he lowered his head to place kisses to the side of her neck. Their lips found one another and they hungrily kissed again and again. He heard her moan, stinging him deeply. His hands tangled in her hair as he kissed a path down to her neck. Her eyes were closed in ecstacy as his hands began to roam over her body. He knew that look, that sound. She moved her hands in between their bodies hooking her fingers into his waistband. He knew that action, that touch - what it meant. "Oh Daniel," he heard her cry out as he pushed her back onto the bed.
Sully sat straight up in bed, his body soaked in sweat. The dream had seemed so vivid that he couldn't erase the sights and sounds from his mind. Turning, he looked over at Michaela who slept peacefully beside him. The moonlight illuminated her face and he reached out to touch her but then stopped. He didn't doubt her. He didn't believe she would ever do anything like that but still something inside hurt. Somehow he had built a wall between them. How was it possible that she could be so close, yet so far away at the same time? The blame belonged to him alone. His pride, his uneasiness with telling her about his feelings. Brick by brick he had erected this wall and now he wasn't sure how to undo it.
Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading.