Never Let Go
She had been crying for nearly an hour and nothing Liz was trying seemed to soothe her. She had fed her, changed her, and rocked her. She had tried a lullaby and tried telling her a story. Nothing was working, and she was at a loss. "Okay, fine," she grumbled softly. "What am I doing wrong?"
Tom sighed from the chair that was almost big enough to sleep in. Neither of them were interested in leaving the hospital that Agnes was being kept in after everything, but the exhaustion was getting to them. She had thought he'd dozed off before Agnes had started wailing, but not even Tom could have slept through that. He had been irritatingly patient as she tried to soothe their daughter.
"You're not doing anything wrong," her husband said quietly and she risked a glance over as he stood, stretching before moving slowly over. Agnes looked up with angry tears in her eyes and it was breaking her mother's heart.
"Obviously I am," she huffed and Tom offered her one of those calming smiles of his.
"May I?" he offered and she shifted Agnes into his arms. She continued to cry for a moment even as he bounced her, murmuring softly and the goofy faces he was making finally pulled a tired smile from his wife. After several long moments Agnes quieted down, her eyes fixed on her father and she reached up at his face. He leaned in, kissing her tiny hand and the pure joy there should have been refreshing.
It just left Liz feeling like a failure.
Tom glanced over and she tried for a smile that didn't quite add up. "It's like she doesn't even recognize me," she managed softly.
"Babe, you haven't gotten a chance to spend a lot of time with her. That's not either if your faults. It'll take time."
"She knows you," Liz huffed, knowing how petty she sounded.
Tom didn't seem to mind. He shifted, his shoulder leaned into hers so that she had a perfect view of their little one. She was still so tiny, with her pretty blue eyes lulling to sleep. Liz reached out, her fingers careful as she traced across one chubby cheek and Agnes nestled down, comforted by the touch rather than bothered.
"I should have come sooner," Tom said softly, his tone causing Liz to look up. "It killed me to keep you two apart that long."
"At least she had you. At least she knew she was loved and that one of us hadn't abandoned her."
"You didn't abandon her, Liz. You were helping to protect her."
"How is she supposed to know that?"
Tom loosed a breath and shifted. All of a sudden Agnes was back in Liz's arms, snoozing happily. A sense of peace, so foreign with everything that had happened, washed over her. "We'll get there," her husband whispered. "The three of us are a team now."
She nodded, feeling her chest tighten and she leaned into him. "I love you."
"Love you too," he murmured and she felt him press a kiss to the side of her head.
They didn't move for a long time, Liz afraid that any shift would wake Agnes and break the spell, and Tom stood steadily by her side. She was exhausted, but somehow the perfect little human being in her arms pushed that aside. They were together. All of them, and no matter what it took, Liz was willing to fight to keep it that way. She was willing to do whatever it took to keep her family safe and whole.
"You going to stand with her all night?" Tom teased softly.
Her lips quirked at the corners. "And if I am?"
Her husband chuckled softly. "Then it's going to be an even longer night than I expected." She watched him glance over to the chair he had been dozing in and his eyes lit up just a little as he nodded for her to follow.
She did, very slowly and carefully, and after a couple steps she realized that Agnes wasn't going to stir quite that easily now. Liz eased herself down in the chair and watched Tom lean down, rocking it back so that her feet were propped and the back of the chair reclining. Agnes nestled in a little closer against her mother and Liz couldn't help but grin. "Perfect," she whispered, glancing up at him.
"There were a few nights in there where that's the only way she'd sleep," Tom explained quietly.
"And a few more where it was the only way you could?" Liz ventured, knowing the answer. It hasn't just been hard on one of them.
"Maybe," he answered with a cheeky smile and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. "Love you." He bent a little more so he could kiss the top of Agnes's head. "Both of you."
"We love you too. I kind of took your bed though."
He shrugged. "Perfectly good couch."
"That's about half your length."
"I've slept on worse."
She hummed softly as he shuffled to make claims on the small couch in the room. It was a temporary situation. Soon the doctors would clear her and they'd figure out what their new normal could be. She wasn't sure what was coming, but she knew that now that she had Agnes back, she was never going to let go.
Notes: I really just needed a little something to touch on the fact that Liz hasn't had time to appropriately bond with her daughter and how difficult that must be for her... and how difficult it will be when she gets her back, but I have faith in these two :)
