Lullaby

She woke to the sound of a voice, soft and low. It took a moment for her to register that it was Tom's. He wasn't next to her in the bed, but seated across the room in the chair, Agnes cradled in his arms, and he was rocking her gently.

Liz lay there in the narrow bed in the little safehouse that they were planning to move out of as soon as they found a place of their own, entirely still so as not to interrupt him. He didn't sing often. She'd heard him every once and awhile when he had music playing while he was cooking or something of the sort, idly mumbling and humming along with the words, but not quite like this. She didn't recognize the song, but it didn't sound like one he would have known either. Where he had picked it up was anyone's best guess, but his voice was soft and sweet and she heard Agnes cooing happily in his arms. Finally she shifted, drawing his attention in a startled manner.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. I was trying to be quiet."

"It's okay. It was nice," Liz murmured as she sat up slowly and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "Where'd you learn it?"

Her husband shrugged a little. "Not sure. It just popped into my head. I don't know many lullabies, but she likes them."

Liz felt a smile tug at her as watched their daughter who had drifted off, happy and safe in her daddy's arms. She wouldn't remember the dangers she had just faced, even if it would haunt them both for years to come. Agnes wouldn't have to know that the only living, biological relative that she had besides her parents had been willing to stand on a ledge with her, risking her life while her mother plead for it. All she had to know was how much her parents loved her. "Tom?"

"Hmm?" he asked, looking tiredly up at her. As exhausted as he appeared, he showed no signs of being ready to try to put Agnes back to bed.

She took a very careful seat on the armrest of the chair and reached around, her fingers brushing along his shoulders at first,but as she spoke they sought out the knots there, working at them, and he leaned back into her arm, his eyes drifting closed as he listened. "I know you said you were raised in the foster system, but do you remember anything about your family before?"

As content as he had looked just a half a moment earlier, Tom stiffened, his eyes popping open. Agnes stirred in his arms, sensing the change, and he froze. "Why?"

Liz frowned a little, not sure exactly what she had said to put his guard up, especially with just them in the room. "I was just thinking about Agnes and the fact that the only relative she has besides us is Kirk."

Her husband snorted and stood carefully, moving to put their daughter back in the crib. She watched him with a little apprehension building. Maybe he remembered more than he had ever mentioned and it was worse than Kirk. She wasn't sure what could have been worse, but she didn't want to find out either.

Once he had her settled into bed again he turned. "No, not really," he answered after a long moment. She reached out for him from her perch and he stepped forward, taking her hand. "I was tossed into the system when I was three or four. I, uh… As far as I was told then, whatever family is had didn't want me anymore."

Liz felt a pang of regret at bringing the subject up and pulled him gently back into the chair. He let her and she wrapped an arm around him, leaning her head against his from where she sat. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No, I'm glad you did."

She blinked and shot him a confused look. "Babe, just because I've asked you to be honest doesn't mean you have to dredge up every terrible memory and explain it to me if you don't want to," she offered softly.

Tom chuckled, leaning into her. "It's not that. It's about something Red said just before I left for Cuba. With everything that's happened, it just hasn't seemed important." He pulled in a deep breath when she didn't say anything, taking it as a cue to keep going. "You remember Susan Hargrave?"

"The woman that heads up the organization that Kirk hired," Liz offered, the name one of the few he'd mentioned as he had tried to fit nearly a month's worth of chaos into a short explanation when he had first gotten to Cuba. Both of them had been rather distracted, the story coming across in pieces between aweing over Agnes and revelling in the temporary illusion that they were safe and together again.

"Same one that helped us get to him, yeah."

"What did Red say about her?"

There was a long moment of silence before Tom shifted do that he could look at her. "Hargrave had a son. Christopher. Apparently when he was three he was… abducted or something. I'm not really sure."

"Okay?" Terrible, of course, especially following what they had just been through, but she wasn't sure how that connected with the conversation they were having.

Her husband gave a small, thin smile. "Reddington seems to think that was me. Not that he'd tell me how or why or…"

"Anything useful?" Liz offered, feeling her temper start to boil a little. As if it weren't enough that he held answers to her past just out of her reach, now he was doing it to Tom too.

"Basically. He said he never mentioned it because she has secrets that might put Agnes in danger, but then he pushed me to take a job she offered me to find out more. I have no idea what his angle was, and I didn't care then. All I wanted was to put our family back together." He loosed a breath. "But now that it's over more or less, you should probably know."

"Are you going to look into it?" Liz asked after a long moment.

Tom shrugged, not looking up at her and she frowned. After a moment she stood, circled the chair, and took a seat in his lap so he had no choice but to look at her. He cracked a smile at that and wrapped his arms around her. "Hi there."

"Hi," she answered with a small smile of her own. She turned so that they were nose to nose, and she pressed a quick kiss to his lips, watching some of the stress ease off of him. "I think you should."

He blinked at her, his mood not appearing entirely soured by her statement. "Don't you think we've had enough weird, unknown family drama for a lifetime?"

Liz rolled her eyes. "And what if it's something good?"

Her husband snorted. "Look at you being all optimistic."

"I'm serious, babe," she said softly, her tone even and she watched his expression even out a little even if the smile remained in his eyes as he watched her. "You've spent your whole life thinking she abandoned you. What if she didn't?"

"So what?" he answered. "It doesn't change anything. You and Agnes are the only family I need."

She shook her head and kissed him again. He didn't let her pull back quickly this time, but deepened it. Liz shifted in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning into the kiss, happy to be kept there. They had been running so hard that the moment to breathe - all three of them safe and together - a peaceful relief. Maybe she could see why Tom didn't want to hop immediately into something else. At least not that night.

"Okay," she said a little breathlessly when they broke, "how about this: We see where things go the next couple of weeks with Kirk, find a place, get settled, and you at least think about it. No decisions, no pressure, just keeping an open mind to it."

Her husband chuckled. "You're not going to drop it, are you?"

"Not until you actually think about it. It's your mom, Tom. That's… bigger than you seem to be willing to admit to yourself."

"I'll think about it," he promised and she grinned.

"Good." She paused, studying him for a moment. "And Agnes and I will be here to support you, just like you've stood by me through all of this."

Tom stared at her for a long moment, as if he were letting the words sink in. Slowly his smile returned. "I love you."

"Love you too. What do you say we try to get some sleep? I'm going to go into the Post Office first thing tomorrow."

He nodded and waited for her to stand. Liz let her hand drop down into his and pulled him towards the bed. She let her eyes drift as he wrapped an arm around her and her smile hadn't quite faded. "You should sing more."

"Hmm?"

"The lullaby," she said sleepily. "It was nice. You should sing more."

He chuckled and kissed the side of her head. Liz could already feel sleep tugging at her, and his fingers working through her hair only sped her along. She wasn't sure if he had started to hum the song again or if her mind just filled it in as she dreamt of their little family, happy and whole and safe.

Notes: I think I've actually received the request several times since Agnes was born to have Tom singing to her. All I can say is that I desperately want to hear Ryan make this happen on the show. I would met. Absolutely melt.