Jean kept an eye on Kaeya.
She didn't need to.
And most certainly was demanded to stop by her mother.
Though he wasn't Ragnvindr by blood, he was by name.
But Kaeya was a friend of hers.
Sure, they were distant.
Mostly talked if they were in the same room or training at Headquarters, or even on missions.
And yet, now more than ever, Jean stayed by Kaeya's side when she could.
She knew nothing about how it felt to lose a family member.
She still had her mother, as strict as she could ever be.
Her father, devoted to his duty.
Even her baby sister, sweet and kind.
But she knew the pain of losing her family.
Torn apart at the seams all because of a petty rift.
Knew how painful it was to no longer see Barbara in that grand house.
Only to watch her grow from afar.
But even so, she couldn't begin to understand Kaeya's pain.
It still felt strange for her to come to work.
To see Kaeya standing in Diluc's place.
To see navy instead of crimson.
The office itself barely changed.
Only Diluc's usual extra coat was replaced with Kaeya's.
It was a sharp reminder that their literal shining sun had been snuffed out.
Taken before his prime.
Jean hated how she used to joke with the brothers.
About how Diluc's rashness and Kaeya's pranks would kill them faster.
When they trained with wooden swords and threw each other into the dirt in mock fights.
No one expected that simple mission, laced with treachery and deceit under its surface to do it.
Kaeya used to laugh about himself being first go.
A horrid joke about his craftiness being the sole reason.
Or how Diluc would probably kill himself by utter accident.
A crude joke about him slipping on something because of his single mindedness.
Or the possibility that Jean would die from her workaholic nature.
A twisted jab at her own self-imposed assignments.
Those jokes died with Diluc.
Crudely buried in an empty coffin.
Six feet in the ground behind the Cathedral.
It tore at her heart to see Kaeya pulling a smile.
No matter real it seemed to others, she should tell.
Forced.
Pained.
False.
The weeks after Diluc's passing were the worst.
Jean watched Kaeya stumble through his work.
Struggled to keep up with the same efficiency as Diluc.
Even kept his training up to par with the sheer amount of paperwork that comes with it.
Jean had tried to offer a hand to help.
But one look from him made her step back.
More often than not, Jean found herself drowning in her own work.
Even Lisa, their newest librarian, often took pity on the two.
Pulled Jean away from the towering papers.
And made her a cup of tea.
"Enjoy some afternoon tea, as befitting a young lady."
Then left her to it.
Only to come back as she hauled Kaeya's skinny rear to the table.
Sat him in front of Jean.
And placed a cup of tea for him.
Lisa never failed to smile then.
Oddly knowing, yet so very kind.
Even sat at her own place next to Jean.
"There," she would always say, "Having tea once in a while is not so bad, isn't it?"
If there was an underlying threat sent in Kaeya's direction, it went highly unnoticed.
And Kaeya never failed to smile then.
Tiny, barley noticeable.
But it always grew every time Lisa forced a tea time.
._._._._._.
Kaeya didn't come in to work for a few days.
He suddenly stopped.
Without warning.
Even Grandmaster Varka had noticed.
Then again, the doubled paperwork on his desk was his only warning.
Which was exactly why Jean left her desk out of her own volition.
Why she found herself standing in front of the Ragnvindr Manor.
She only needed to wait a few moments when the door opened.
Elzer was there.
Welcomed her in without a moment's hesitation.
"I was about to send for you— anyone really," he told her.
Adelinde greeted her with a smile, and a tray of fresh chicken mushroom skewers.
Jean could barely get a word in.
Even when they ushered her up the stairs.
It was surreal to walk through the Manor.
She only recalled entering once.
When Diluc had been late for a mission once.
Only to find out that he was sick to the bone and couldn't make an appearance.
She remembered how Kaeya seemed rather put off when he was barred from visiting his own brother.
She definitely remembered how she bit down on a retort about him being able to be in the same house as his sibling.
Adelinde kept her sentences short.
Explained how Kaeya hadn't left Diluc's old room for a couple of days now.
How he barely ate anything.
All of it happened suddenly.
As if no one could explain the change.
And yet, Elzer did not look at Jean through it all.
Only nodded in agreement before the two excused themselves from the hall.
But she didn't have time to question it.
Not when Kaeya had locked himself away.
In a room that isn't his.
The door was unlocked.
The sight that greeted her was one to behold.
Diluc's room must've been a rather simple room.
Maybe a little too simple for a noble like him.
But the mess inside was a shock.
Books were piled in different places.
Papers littered the floor.
Some pinned on the wall.
Kaeya himself was curled up at the foot of Diluc's perfectly made bed.
Jean didn't know what to say.
Didn't even know how to react.
She just stood there, with her jaw loose.
The tray almost dropped from her hands.
"Kaeya?"
Her voice was like a knife that cut through the silence.
It echoed in the hollowness of the room.
Even the sunlight that streamed from the windows seemed to suddenly still.
She waited at the door.
Not sure what to do at that point.
Instead, she searched for a spot to settle the tray.
Although it was a challenging task to find a place that didn't have a sheet of paper in the way.
It was only when she finally entered the room that Kaeya finally looked at her.
Periwinkle met with grey blue, "Jean."
He didn't uncurl himself.
He looked like the age he was supposed to be then.
Barely past eighteen and desperately looking for answers.
Or maybe he seemed older, barely eighteen and terrified of answers.
Jean picked her way through the mess.
Didn't even bother to read the words.
She sat by him.
Set the tray close by.
And curled herself into a ball.
Just like him.
They sat like that for a long moment.
Until the sunlight reached the tip of their shoes.
Kaeya's hoarse voice broke the silence, "Tell me about Diluc."
Jean looked at Kaeya.
A mourning smile pulled at his lips as his eye looked so tired.
Exhausted.
His voice begged her, "I feel like I'm starting to forget."
Jean blinked at him once.
And carefully unfolded herself.
Because she didn't know Diluc that well.
Only knew him through the knights, through Kaeya.
Through their morbid, horrid jokes they tossed back and forth.
And occasional parties she attended when Master Crepus used to hold them.
But Jean gripped the edge of her knightly coat, fiddling with the edges.
And picked her fondest memory.
"Remember that that one time he owned a tortoise? Well, I—"
Jean lost herself then.
Words split forth.
Of the times she raced her tortoise with Diluc's.
Of the times the three of them were newbies.
When Diluc would shoot down Kaeya's prank ideas first before going for it.
When Jean never failed to cover for them for the small ideas.
(Because really, some Knights deserved it.)
Of the time before Kaeya first entered their lives.
When Diluc used to hide from others.
It was funny to her now.
Young, baby-faced Dilic looked ready to run every time he was around others.
He would hide behind his father's legs or even in the corners.
Like a shy firefly in the night.
Jean kept talking.
Even when the sunlight began to filter away.
When the shadows grew long.
And the tray of chicken mushroom skewers laid forgotten between them.
She told Kaeya all that she knew.
All that she could remember at the time.
Even told him the last thing Diluc said to her.
"He was proud of you," she remembered how Diluc had smiled then.
So dear and gentle as he thought of his brother that day.
"And he'd never trade anyone for you."
If Kaeya buried his face in Jean's shoulder.
His thin body shaking uncontrollably with stifled cries—
Then Jean did nothing but run a hand through the navy blue.
And said nothing more.
._._._._._.
Diluc didn't get his answers.
Nor could he ask them.
Not when he stood before the Tsaritsa.
Alone in the throne room with just the two of them.
Ajax wasn't even the one to bring him here.
Someone else did.
A member of the Fatui.
She sat high on that throne.
His Vision dangled from her finger carelessly.
Her eyes were the same as he had seen them last.
Cold and frozen.
Diluc didn't know what to do.
Instead, he bowed his head in greeting.
But said nothing.
There was nothing he could say.
That wasn't asking for his Vision.
The Tsaritsa still looked at him, unfazed and almost uncaring.
"Do you miss Mondstadt?"
It was an honest question.
One that reminded him of home.
Of Master Crepus and his melancholy smiles.
Of Kaeya teasing him endlessly about dumb, stupid things.
Of Adelinde giving him extra slices of apple turnovers.
Of Elzer and his endless patience.
Diluc answered honestly, "Dearly."
His words hung in the air.
As if it had frozen in place the second he spoke.
The Tsaritsa hummed.
"Tell me, Ragnvindr, how did you obtain this?"
HIs Vision flickered then.
Almost as if on cue for something he didn't know of.
Diluc almost didn't understand her, but spoke anyway.
"I was eight," he said rather bluntly.
Before he met Kaeya, he didn't say.
Then paused, because his words made him forget for a moment.
"I wandered further than I was allowed," Diluc struggled to remember then.
Tried hard not to show it as he told her honestly.
Because her eyes demanded nothing but honesty.
He repeated what his father told him.
Of how he wandered too far from the Winery once.
Of how the land was still soaked from the previous rainstorm.
Of how he got buried in a sudden landslide.
He told her that much.
But Diluc didn't tell the Tsaritsa what came after.
He remembered waking up from that incident.
Crepus was by his side.
Diluc would never dare to forget that day.
His father cried, even sobbed harder at the sight of Diluc awake.
He didn't dare to let Diluc go for even a moment days after the incident.
He would never forget the warmth his Vision felt by his side since that day.
It yearned to stay by his side.
It called for him if he strayed too far.
Just like now.
It glowed, called for him as it dangled in the air.
The Tsaritsa hummed, "Hm."
As if she didn't believe him one bit.
As if she thought of it differently.
But she finally looked away, watched the Vision sway as she swung her hand.
"I suppose it's only natural for a truth to be a lie."
Diluc barely had time to mull over the words.
She stood, stepped down from her throne.
And met him below.
His Vision grew brighter, lively as she approached.
Diluc couldn't step back in her presence.
Even though the warmth of his Vision clashed with her cold.
"Child of Freedom, would you accept a blessing from me?"
It didn't sound like a question.
Or an option.
It sounded like a demand.
As if refusal was futile.
Diluc could do nothing when she reached over.
Took his pale hand into her freezing grip.
Watched her as she slipped a glove on his hand.
It fitted a tad loosely.
The glove felt wrong in his hand.
And the gleaming red orb stared up at him.
Hauntingly reflecting his face on its surface.
Diluc almost didn't recognize himself.
He wanted to back away.
To tear off the glove.
The wrongness seeped into his skin.
Trailed from his hand and seared into his unease.
He looked at the Tsaritsa.
Crimson met with eerie cold.
She smiled.
So dear, so lovingly.
Like the Archon she was meant to be.
Diluc understood Ajax's awe then.
How the kindness she showed him was buried so deeply.
He wanted to know why.
But he couldn't ask.
Not when she pulled him closer.
Latched his Vision in its rightful place.
At his hip on a coat that wasn't his own.
"I am no god of freedom," she told him dearly.
"So indulge me in this selfish wish of mine, little Phoenix."
Diluc felt his Vision caressing him in its familiar warmth when she stepped away.
Cold, loving eyes bore into crimson.
And trapped Diluc into place.
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"Master my 'blessing,' and I'll let you go."
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._._._._._.
Childe stared at the Delusion that rested on Diluc's left hand.
The glove itself a size too big.
It looked off on him.
As if it shouldn't belong there.
It clashed horribly with the vibrant vermillion that hung from his right side.
But Diluc calmly hid it behind himself and smiled at him.
One that was uneasy and barely kept together.
It struck Childe then.
That somewhere along the line, they messed up.
Somewhere along the line, they messed up.
And he didn't know where they went wrong.
As they walked down the hall, Childe was aware of the gazes.
How the other Fatui members glanced warily at Diluc's Delusion.
Diluc brushed his arm against Childe's own.
And asked a rather pointless question.
"Are they going to kill me?"
Ajax threw an arm over thinning shoulders.
And answered rather pointlessly.
"I won't kill you."
And they left it at that.
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