Title: Deja Vu

Disclaimer: Language, violence

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Chapter Twenty-three: It's Not Me

Booth assured her that it was okay, that her decision was something that she had to stick by, that she was allowed to say no. He didn't hate her for it, though it was clear that he was unhappy. He'd been hoping that she would say yes and that they'd go together. Maybe because he hoped to regain the spark that had been growing between them. The spark that had been doused by the murder of Agent Stone. The cold reality of their lives' had set in, and they were both left feeling out of touch with the world. He knew that she worried that something similar would happen to him. He couldn't blame her for that, for at times, he worried about the same thing. He'd take on a new case and wonder if this would be the violent offender to end his life. It had almost happened once. Who's to say it wouldn't happen again? He only had so many get-out-of-jail-free cards in his life, one of which he had already used. Next time he probably wouldn't get so lucky. Next time he could very well die.

Even with this knowledge, with the acceptation of her choice, he left her office feeling depressed. If only she had said yes. He would have bought her the ticket. Glancing back over his shoulder one last time he wondered if maybe he should have asked her to go as a friend, as a potential lover, not as his colleague. Maybe then she would have said yes. But deep down, he knew that it wouldn't have mattered. Brennan's life was about her work, not her potential lovers. He left the lab with the intent to return home to start packing. His plane left in the late afternoon hours of the next day.

He didn't notice Angela watching him. She stood quietly hidden in the shadows, observing the look of mixed emotion on his face. Secretly she too had been hoping that things would return to normal between her boss and her friend. The pain, the reality of life, had cracked the glass exterior's they both stood behind. Watching him leave she felt his pain. She had lost someone she loved. Someone she'd never get the chance to hold again, no matter how hard she wished. It was a pain that stayed with her, that would stay with anyone. With new resolve she headed toward Brennan's office. She was about to knock when the door flew open. Brennan, who had her head down, her eyes locked to the folder in her hands, nearly walked into Angela.

"Angela," Brennan said with surprise. "Are Zack and Hodgins back from that museum yet? I really want to finish up the work on the mummy. There are three other bodies that we have to look at, for the same reason. It would be nice to have a free weekend."

"What do you do on your weekends, Tempy?" she asked, before she could stop herself. There was a hint of annoyance in her voice and she felt instantly guilty about it.

"Do my weekend plans have anything to do with the job at hand?" Brennan bit back. She pushed passed Angela and started walking down the hallway.

"Brennan, I didn't mean that to sound rude," apologize Angela hastily, following after her. The lab was unusually quiet without the guys around and her voice carried.

Brennan stopped and turned to look at her. "I'm not really in the mood for this today, Angela. I have a lot on my mind. Can we just get this work done?"

"No," Angela said sternly, holding firmly to her courage. She had never really confronted her boss this way before. "I just saw Booth walk out of here like a puppy dog who had been kicked. I want to know what's going on. You can share with me, Brennan, that's what friends do, they share things."

"It's called being nosey, Angela," her friend responded. She once again turned around and headed for the dusty mummy that was waiting for her.

Angela ran to catch up with her and settled into step beside her. "There's a difference between being nosey and sharing amongst friends. I want to know what's going on, you've changed so much since Agent Stone died. Even the guys have noticed. Haven't you taken notice of the way that Dr Goodman is avoiding you?"

"I thought he was avoiding me because he wanted to tell me something but wasn't sure how," revealed Brennan, giving Angela a curios look.

She shook her head. "Nope. It's because he doesn't want to step on your toes, so to say. Neither do Zack or Hodgins, that's why they opted to go to the museum for you."

"Are you sure they weren't just doing their jobs? Like we should be?"

Angela grabbed her by the arm, prompting her to stop and turn toward her. "Listen to me, Tempy. You have changed a lot, so has Booth. That's to be expected. But the two of you had something going, where did the spark go? Why did he leave here so upset?"

Brennan looked her friend over, trying to decide if it was worth the trouble to explain the problem to her. She had already made up her mind and she wasn't going to change it. Knowing Angela, the younger woman would try to find every reason possible to get her to agree to fly to England with Booth. She'd probably rave about how it would be very romantic. But Brennan didn't feel like romance. She wasn't sure she wanted to fall in love with someone whose job put them in so much danger. What if they got married and he died just a year later? How would she free herself of the heartache?

She shook her head. "I'll tell you, one two conditions."

"And they would be?"

"One, you are not to breathe a word of this to the guys. Two, I've already made up my mind, so don't go trying to change it," Brennan pointed out.

Angela crossed her heart. "Yes, ma'am. I promise not to say anything or to try and change your mind. However, I can't promise that I won't try to cheer you up."

Brennan relaxed. "He asked me to go to England with him, to help find the guy who killed Stone. He said he trusted only my word and didn't want to work with any other anthropologist. I told him that this lab was where I belonged, not running around some damp country full of old buildings."

Angela actually laughed. "I thought you liked historical stuff."

"Angela-"

"I'm sorry, hun. As promised, I won't try to change your mind," she said, her voice a bit wistful. "But a trip to England, what I wouldn't give to go myself. Think of all the things you could do there. Sure, I've been to France, but England has a charm all its own. Do you think it would be rude if I asked Booth to bring me back a snow globe?"

Brennan rolled her eyes but Angela was happy to note that she had a smile on her face. It was hard not to start in on a lecture of reasons why she should change her mind. The old Brennan probably would have said no, which was easy to see, her life consisted of going over skeletons. There wasn't any guarantee that there would be any work for her in England, and Brennan wasn't Brennan unless she couldn't do something scientific. Angela had watched her during the time they stayed together. Even after work her boss rarely did anything resembling fun. It may have fun to her, but not to any normal person. Who would go home and read science magazines or textbooks after spending an entire day playing with the dead? It wasn't entirely healthy. Angela could only hope that Brennan would realize the mistake she had made in saying no and follow after Booth. It would be like a fairytale.