Home to Me

He was moving in a haze. His father was alive. Alive and… wanting him to take the job his mother had offered so that he could spy on her. It seemed like a bad joke. A terrible, twisted, sick joke that left him more off kilter than he'd been since the news had announced that Howard Hargrave was dead.

He needed to talk to Liz, but as he walked into the apartment, all he saw was Agnes in her bouncer, reaching for the stars above her head. "Liz?" he called, his voice steadier than he expected it to be.

"Be out in a second," she called from their room.

Tom loosed a long breath and moved over to where Agnes had turned her inquisitive stare on him. He felt at least a little of the tension ease as he waved at her and she giggled. He reached down and scooped her up, feeling her melt against him and he held her close, focusing entirely on her. He was okay. They were okay. This family was the only family that mattered.

"Hey, babe," Liz said from behind and he turned to see her slipping a sweater on over the shirt she was wearing. She gave Agnes a sweet smile and tipped up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Find anything new?"

He shifted Agnes and she cooed at him. "I, uh…. yeah."

He risked a look at his wife and found her studying him, her gaze saying she knew something was off and she was waiting for him to offer the information rather than making her pry it out of him. He closed his eyes, focusing on them. The two people he loved most in the world. They were there. They were with him. They loved him and he loved them. The reminders helped to steady him and he cleared his throat. "Howard Hargrave isn't dead."

There was a beat of silence. "What happened?"

He had expected there to be more shock there - he had certainly felt it - but Tom supposed after all they had been through it was just another day in the life. "He approached me."

Liz reached out, her touch gentle and encouraging, and Tom moved to ease Agnes back in her bouncer, feeling his hands start to tremble as the stress slammed back into him. He wasn't ready for this. All of those emotions that he had buried so well were rearing up and he couldn't shove them back under fast enough. He felt like he was drowning.

As he straightened he felt Liz's arms wrap around him from behind, her cheek pressed against his back, and he reached up for her hand. Focus. He had to focus on this. Slowly, his hand grasping hers, Tom made it through the story. Howard had just appeared and he knew who he was. He'd found him, and while that might have been a good thing everything else was crashing down. Howard had recently uncovered evidence that made him believe that Scottie was connected to Tom's disappearance. By the end of it, he had wanted the younger man to accept her job offer and find out more. His head was still spinning from it as his mind and the emotions battled each other, not entirely sure how to feel about it all.

All your training and your skills have been preparing you for this moment.

The words echoed in his mind, sending a chill through him and Liz tightened her grip on him. After a long moment she released him so she could circle around him, her voice soft as she spoke. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him I already have a family. I'm not leaving to-"

"Take the job."

Tom blinked hard.

"What?"

"The job. Take it. You've been telling me you don't know if you can trust yourself to know Scottie's tells so you can't ask her your questions. Get to know them. Find out what you and your dad both want to know."

"I'm not leaving you," Tom stressed.

His wife snorted. "I sure hope not. It's a job Tom, not a relocation around the world."

"There'd be a lot of travel. I'd be gone for days at a time. More sometimes."

"But you'd come home to Agnes and me. I don't see how this is a lot different than when I go undercover or travel for work."

"What about Agnes?"

"We'll figure it out. Dembe's daughter has a little girl not too much older. Maybe I can have him talk to her for us and work something out."

Tom opened his mouth, the next argument dying before it left his tongue. "You really think I should do this?" he asked softly.

"I'd do nearly anything to find out about my parents, Tom, and you have a unique opportunity here. Take it. Find the answers you need." She reached out, her fingers brushing his. "I love you. I'm not going anywhere."

He took her hand and, certainly not for the first time, Tom found himself in awe of the woman he loved. She was a force to be reckoned with, and she chose him. He felt a small smile tilt the corners of his mouth as he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He felt her arms wrap around his neck and on impulse he picked her up, her feet leaving the floor and her laugh echoing in his ears, easing the questions and the stress away.

When he set her back down Liz offered him a mischievous grin. "Aren't you glad you didn't toss those passports now?"

Tom grinned, the smile not as put on as he would have thought it would be. He tilted his head, forehead pressed against hers, and the smile lingered. "I promise you that I'll always come home to you and Agnes. I won't lose myself to this."

"I'm holding you to that," she murmured.

"I love you."

"Love you too." She squeezed his hand. "I know how it eats at you. I really do. I won't make you choose."

"I don't deserve you, you know."

She tipped up on her toes and kissed him again, and Tom felt himself relax into it. For the first time since this had begun, since the questions became too hard to ignore any longer, he felt a calm start to work in, easing the raging confusion that had taken up residence lately. It eased out, and he wrapped his arms around his wife as she did the same, leaning into him. He had her support, and with that he might actually find a way to get through this.

Notes: Just a few thoughts on what I'd love to see happen in tomorrow night's episode(s). I got so stressed out with work that I nearly forgot to post it O.o

Oh, and is anyone else as excited about Redemption as I am? XD