Uncertainty

Howard was off his meds and Tom was in too deep. That was the looped thought playing over and over in his head as he walked through the streets of New York. He didn't have the time to hop on a flight home before he had to be back in the office the next day, but he wasn't ready to go back to the empty hotel room either. That left him taking the long way back to the hotel, hands stuffed deeply in his jacket pockets, and his mind restless with everything that had happened in the last handful of days. The further he walked the more hurried they became, trying to piece things together and come up with some semblance of an idea who to trust.

Tom loosed a long breath that showed in the cold night air as he looked up to find himself outside of his hotel without really meaning to. He still didn't have an answer, but walking around in freezing temperatures wouldn't help him find them. He needed to pop one of the pills that Nez had recommended and try to get some sleep.

He made his way up to the room in a little bit of a daze, the time zone hopping he had been doing in the last week finally catching up with him. He just hoped that the drugs they had been given in the water wouldn't disrupt his sleep patterns too badly.

The door gave a soft click as the key card unlocked it and he pushed it open, blinking in surprise at the light he hadn't left on. His sleep deprived brain took a beat longer than it should have to register that there was also someone sleeping in the bed. She stirred and Tom felt himself relax as Liz's blue eyes blinked sleepily open. "Hey babe," he greeted softly, setting his go bag down. "What are you doing here?"

She yawned, stretching a little. "I was going to surprise you. I knew you were getting in and I was in New York to testify in a trial this afternoon and tomorrow morning. I thought you'd be in earlier."

"I would have if I knew you were going to be here," he murmured as he crossed the space, reaching out for her when he got close enough. "Was Carly able to watch Agnes tonight?"

"Yeah. I think we owe her." Liz gave him a smile and pulled him down to the bed with her rather than standing. "So much for surprises I guess."

He hummed a soft agreement and leaned in, focusing on her and the peace that came with having her close to him. "I've missed you so much."

"Yeah? How much?" his wife teased suggestively.

Tom caught the hint and grinned, leaning in and she met him halfway. It didn't take long for Liz to shift, never breaking the kiss, but she moved so that she was facing him, her fingers already working to get his jacket off his shoulders. He shrugged out of it, toeing his boots off, and a muffled laugh escaped him as they toppled back into the bed, Liz half on top of him.

She stopped, though, her gaze studying him. "You okay?"

Dark blue eyes blinked up at her before Tom sighed. Apparently he wasn't hiding the stress as well as he thought. "It's been a long week and I…" His eyes slipped closed again as Liz moved so that she was stretched out next to him, her hand resting on his arm. Tom smiled and turned towards her. "You're here. Let's focus on that."

The woman he loved offered him a smile and another - much quicker - kiss. "Babe, you're bottling it. Talk to me. Did you find out more about your mom? Meet again with your dad?"

Well, she wasn't going to let it go now. While on one hand he knew that was good - she always did help him sort through his emotions better than he ever could on his own - he just wanted to enjoy time with his wife that he hadn't seen in over a week now.

She wrapped an arm around his middle, drawing his attention. "Tom?"

He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. "It can never be simple," he grumbled, pulling a small laugh from her. "I don't know if Howard is certifiable or if Scottie's just really good or if it's somewhere in the middle. She has the resources to go after him, but… I'm pretty good at reading people. She seems genuinely…." He stopped and rolled to his side to face her. "Part of me wonders if I'm losing my edge."

"You're always been better when you can detach yourself from it," she murmured thoughtfully. "Kind of hard to do in this situation."

"I just spent the last week back and forth from Russia and in the middle of a fake American town full of Russian spies being trained to replace Americans. They lived in this compound that looked like some sort of idealised American town. Twenty-four-seven surveillance. Plastic surgery to look like the people they were replacing..."

Liz blinked hard. "And I thought I'd heard everything. Do I need to-"

"No. No, the military knows. They're the ones who brought us in on this. We don't need the FBI in the middle. You can't… this needs to stay between us."

She nodded.

"Anyway, it's gone. The Russians blew the town off the map once they realised it was burned. Howard thinks…. he thinks Scottie isn't Scottie. Sounds crazier for me to say it than even him," Tom chuckled mirthlessly.

Blue eyes watched him carefully. "is it… even possible?"

"I don't know. I mean, taking on a persona to fool acquaintances is one thing, but people you're close to? Family and friends? That's a stretch." He pulled in a deep breath. "I overheard Scottie saying he'd gone off his meds and I can believe it."

Liz tightened her grip on him, inching closer. "I really wish one of us could have some normal family, you know?"

"It'd be nice," he murmured. "Liz, what the hell have I gotten into?"

"Insanity?" she tried for a tease, but even her voice was strained. "Tom… do you need to come home?"

He sighed, refusing to answer immediately. He would run if he gave himself half a chance. Run home to the people who loved him and the security they had found together. But that would leave his family open and exposed. There were so many questions. So many potential threats looming now that he'd jumped in. If Howard was even partially right, if Scottie was half as dangerous as he thought she was, she could find out who Tom was and come after his family. He didn't want to believe that, but it would be reckless to ignore the possibility. "No," he breathed after a long moment, "I need to see this through." He caught her gaze. "No matter how much I miss you and Agnes."

"Mm," she acknowledged softly and propped herself up on her arms. "I told you before and it still stands: I'm going to support what you decide on this."

"You think I should keep digging though?"

"I didn't say that." He shot her a knowing look and she grinned, leaning down to kiss him. "See?" she murmured softly, barely breaking away to speak. "You're still good at reading people. You'll figure Scottie and Howard out."

"How early do you have to be at the courthouse in the morning?"

"Nine."

"So you don't have to be up at the break of dawn?"

His wife smirked a little. "Nope."

Tom grinned and pulled her closer, Liz meeting him willingly there. He'd missed her. He'd missed the steadiness he felt with her. The certainty. He always knew there was at least one person he could trust, unlike in the middle of the chaos between two parents he didn't even know. Moments like these, though - the ones where they could curl up together and wake up with each other the next morning - helped steady him and give him perspective. He needed answers, not just for himself, but for his family too.

Amongst all the uncertainty, he could depend on the woman he loved to help keep him afloat.

Notes: This was 99% finished on Friday, but it's taken me until Monday evening to find time to post it. Sorry guys! I've been gif-making like crazy :P