Hello lovelies!

I really don't want to write this chapter so I'm gonna spend some time chatting here instead of writing, because I'm a big baby and I don't want to cry. I'll be bringing you all down with me when I do start crying. I hope you're ready for that.

As always, if the once a week updates for this story aren't enough for you, I have plenty of other Inuyasha choices for you, from InuYasha to Naraku, with only Bankotsu and Koga in between for now, but I have many plans for the future, particularly where Bankotsu is concerned. So if you'd like to read Miasma, Catch The Rain or Perfidious, head on over to my profile. I'd very much appreciate it.

Now, I guess I have to actually get on with writing, and you can do some reading. All I can say is this:

Good luck

In The Jaws Of The Wolf

Chapter Twenty One

Waiting was a little less painful with company. After Koga had broken the barrier by coming to talk to me, others followed him. In the mornings, I perched atop the waterfall to watch out for Akari the moment I woke. Ginta started bringing breakfast up to me, and sat with me while we ate and watched the pack start their day. During the day, I moved from the waterfall to pick up some work in the den; sewing pelts, or cooking with Hakaku or helping plan guard duties. Evenings were spent back up at the waterfall, with Koga joining me.

He'd started being more active around the den again. He listened in on guard and patrol meetings, offered to lead a hunting expedition (much appreciated, we'd told him, but ultimately chosen not to let him go, for every hunter's sanity) and even began talking and joking with us all again.

Our Koga was back.

That was the most evident in the quiet evenings we shared together. He tended to show up just after dark, usually with food, or with my sewing basket. Then we would eat and settle into just relaxing together.

"It's like when we first met," I pointed out on the third evening as I carefully embroidered the eye of a large black wolf into my kimono. Nao was a proud addition to the design. He had become an important part of my life. There were few times now he wasn't around.

"Yeah," the Wolf agreed in a raspy, relaxed drawl. "Back at the river."

I'd missed those days when we met. We hadn't had too much chance to just sit and enjoy each other's company after I'd moved into the den. We both found ourselves stuck into other obligations, or spending time with other people. I'd made a few good friends since I had been here. I couldn't be upset about that. I'd made true friends in Hakkaku and Ginta, found love in Akari. Those were things I could never regret. I did regret the lack of time Koga and I spent together now. It was nice, now, to spend time with Koga the way it had begun, sitting together by the water and just enjoying the moment.

"I've missed this."

Koga hummed quietly from his space by my hip.

I didn't want to lose this. I needed to make sure that no matter what happened in the future, that Koga and I kept doing this. I didn't want the two of us to get distant. This friendship was the reason I had even come here to the den in the first place. I'd almost forgotten that since finding my place here.

I wouldn't forget it again.

"Stay still," I ordered to the wolf trying to wriggle out of my grip.

I'd been given bramble duty tonight. It was never a fun job for anyone. The wolves hated anyone picking through their fur and untangling bits of brambles and foliage from their fur, particularly if it was matted in any way. The wolf currently held down by me was trying his damndest to get away from me, wriggling and whining as I kept a firm grip on the fur of his shoulders with one hand.

Next time I got bramble duty, I was giving it to Ginta. He had way more patience with this than I did. Anyone had more patience than I did.

"Stop," I hissed when he just kept wriggling.

He unsurprisingly didn't stop, and with a huff, I let him go, watching as he darted through the den and splashed right through the waterfall, whipping right by a couple of the Wolves making their way in. Probably from patrol.

I straightened up as I watched the Wolves, though. They didn't look okay. They looked haunted.

"What's going on?" I asked Ginta when he dropped down heavily onto the ground beside me, looking down at the ground. His skin was pale, even in the low light of the fires burning through the cave, and there was a sheen of sweat on his brow. "Ginta?"

"Joji," he murmured.

"Joji?" My heart leapt up into my throat. People had been avoiding speaking his or Akari's names since they had left. I didn't know whether it was because they had betrayed us when they defected, or because they were wary of my reaction to hearing my mate's name, but either way neither brother had been explicitly named in conversation around me since they had left.

So what had happened to change that? Was Joji back? If he was, where was Akari?

"Ginta?" I tried again. He looked ill. "Ginta, what's wrong?"

Dread was beginning to bubble in my stomach. Something was wrong.

"He's... dead."

That churning feeling melted away, leaving my stomach feeling hollow. It made me feel more sick. I could barely process the word, even as I repeated it. "Dead?"

Joji was dead?

Hakkaku appeared at Ginta's side, dropping to the floor in the same dazed way Ginta had a few moments ago. "He... He came back. Alone. He had a jewel shards, gave it to Koga. Then when Koga left, he just... He fell apart. He was in pieces."

"A jewel shard?"

Hakkaku nodded. "He said one was all he could get."

My brows furrowed and I stared down at the ground between us, trying to focus on the sensation that I was becoming increasingly familiar with. I could feel Koga's two shards, moving away from the den the fastest I had ever felt them move. There weren't any more than the two shards I usually felt from him, though, and there were no other shards in the immediate area.

Whatever Joji had brought home wasn't a jewel shard.

What was it?

"Dan?"

I looked up to Ginta, lips pressed together. "Koga's going to the castle, isn't he?"

Both men nodded. I wasn't surprised.

"Joji said they would be slaughtered if Koga didn't hurry," Ginta explained in a low whisper.

"Slaughtered?" My breath caught in my throat. Akari was there. I couldn't... He couldn't be slaughtered. He couldn't.

No. No, I couldn't let that thought form. I couldn't be tortured with the thought of Akari being slaughtered by anyone, or anything. I had to believe that Koga would make it in time to save the pack from being slaughtered. He was the fastest thing I had ever seen. I'd never felt him moving as fast as he was now. He was so far away already that I could barely feel his shards.

He would get there.

He would save them.

He would do it. I had to believe that he would.

I rose to my feet in a sharp movement that had the wolf sat beside me snorting quietly in alarm. "I'm going to brew some tea," I told the Wolves as I move past them. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, worrying about the pack and Koga. I doubted many of the others would, either. The pack was always full of nervous energy when Koga was away, no matter what he was away for. Knowing he was off to fight would be enough to put most of the pack right into that shifty, nervous mindset. Sleep was difficult in that state, for any of us.

I waved off Ginta's thanks when he gave it.

It was more of a selfish play than selfless. I needed to keep busy now more than anything else. Running around after the pack sounded like the perfect way to keep myself busy, body and mind. If push came to shove, I could go back to grooming the wolves. I hated the job, but it was something to do with my hands and I needed that.

Keep busy. Don't think.

Keep busy. Don't think.

The mantra had been running through my head for hours. The longer I stayed awake, the easier it was to do it. Exhaustion had crept in hours ago, leaving me feeling hazy and disconnected from what was going on around me.

A lot of the pack had already succumbed to sleep over the course of the last few hours.

We had all collectively kept busy at first. We'd gone back out and gathered the parts of Joji's body from the pass and prepared him for his burial. A few whispered their prayers to him, a few shared quiet memories as we worked. Joji was an antagonistic man, for that there was no doubt, but he was pack. He was family, and he would be missed greatly by all of us. There were a lot of bitter memories of him here, but we all had something good to share. He was by no means a monster.

The preparations for when Koga returned didn't take all night, though, with the whole pack working together to make preparations.

When that work waned, so did the men. Snores began to ricochet around the cave. Bodies piled together, curled around each other for comfort. I couldn't blame any of them.

I kept myself from settling into any of the piles cropping up around the cave, though, even as Ginta tried to pull me down into a little pile he, Hakkaku and Nao had formed by my little nest. I'd brushed him off, not willing to let myself try and relax a little. Who knew what sorts of thoughts would creep in if I let myself slow down and think?

Instead, I kept on pottering around, doing whatever I could to keep myself from sitting down and letting my mind go.

Periodically, I stretched out my mind to see if I could feel Koga's jewel shards, but every time I tried, they were out of my range. I was waiting anxiously to feel him again, hoping he would be back soon. I needed to feel the prickle of those jewel shards again.

The wolves fell under my attack again. I picked through each one's fur to pull out brambles and any other foliage that I could. They weren't too happy with me, but no one squirmed too much as I groomed them.

It was hunched over one wolf, in the low light of the dawn, that I finally felt the prickle of shards at the edge of my range again.

"He's home," I called out above the din of snores and heavy, sleepy breaths. That woke up many of the Wolves around, and it wasn't long before people started gathering at the waterfall, waiting for Koga to slip through with the rest of the pack in tow. Some of the deeper sleepers were woken by shoves and kicks as we gathered. I ended up at the back of the crowd, displaced by anxious and excited Wolves ready to see their alpha again.

I didn't blame them, but I was half considering climbing over everyone to get to the front. I just wanted to wrap myself around my mate.

Koga's name was cried out when the familiar sound of the waterfall parting around a body filled the cave. That was the only one, though. Just one sound. No one else came through the waterfall with him.

Where was everyone else?

Had they lagged behind? Were they catching up?

I wasn't the only person to ask that, but Koga's voice didn't rise above the din like it usually did when he got home.

Now I was getting worried. I grabbed the closest Wolf's shoulder and used it to push myself up, to try and peer over his shoulder. I was a lot shorter than him, and couldn't see much. I could just about see people parting and Koga's high ponytail bobbing between them.

The man I was leaning against shrugged me off his shoulder, sending me back down to the floor and killing my view of the group.

Damn it all.

I didn't get too long to be upset over it, though, because he moved to the side, leaving me staring right up at Koga.

His expression was dark, his jaw clenched hard, his shoulders tense, a mass of red clenched in his fist. That wasn't what got to me, though. It was his eyes. They were alight with emotions that were dizzying to try and process.

I choked up, taking a step back when he stepped forwards.

"No."

My mind had processed what his expression was trying to tell me before the thought could form properly. I didn't want it to. No. No! I couldn't. It couldn't be.

Koga wasn't stopping, though. He strode forwards a step for every one I backed up, tears filling my eyes.

"Dan-"

"No! No," I sobbed, shaking my head to stop him.

If he didn't say it, it couldn't be real. If he didn't say it, I could go on. I could pretend. Things would be okay. They'd be okay. He couldn't. No, no, no!

"Please," I sobbed, pressing my hands over my face as he kept on walking towards me, mouth opening to speak his piece. "No, no. Please don't. No. He can't-No!"

I let out a scream, falling backwards over a large stone and hitting the ground hard. The scream rang out through the silent cave, then devolved into harsh sobs I couldn't hold back. They shook my body, hurt my chest as they tore from it.

No no no.

No, it couldnt- He couldn't-

Akari.

Koga dropped to his knees, his firm arms wrapping around me and hoisting me up onto my knees with him. My face pressed into his shoulder. He held me tight, his hand cupping the back of my head, holding me tight to his body.

"No," I sobbed.

"I'm sorry." His voice was pinched, and even more gravelly than usual.

I felt tears against my temple, and together the two of us cried.

Review Corner

LadyAmazon - I'm glad you love it. I think Koga needed it. He's the sort of person that needs some hard words when he's in a slump, and Dan isn't afraid to tell people where it's at

TheVulcanNara - Yeah. Here came the heartbreak. It wasn't an easy chapter to write, and it's gonna be a real mess from here on out, for a good long while. But it needed to be done. Aw, don't be so hard on Kagura, though. I love her as a character. I love her a lot. I've actually been considering playing around with a story for her. I adore her character

This was a hard ass chapter to write. Akari has become such a great character for me, and I never thought losing him would be this difficult for me. He was always going to die. From the moment I first introduced him, I knew he would die, but that doesn't make it any easier to write. It was so hard to write Dan's scattered, distraught thoughts. The poor girl has gone through so much this chapter.

I don't want to keep you from mourning him either, so I'm going to go.

See you next chapter if you don't hate me now