A note from Serade Black (AN): I'm sorry that this chapter took awhile to get out, as I felt like I might have been taking another angle to the story. I had one outline and now I'm slowly working more details into it, so that you're really intrigued for the rest of the story. This chapter is only rated PG13, so this is the original. It's nice to see that some of you are really cheering them on and I'll be honest: it's nothing but a huge compliment! I'm glad I've involved you enough to really feel for these characters so, you want to see more of them. Special thanks and hello to thosenew readers and those that I met at LUMOS in Vegas this past month. I ensure you that I'm going to both Phoenix Rising and Prophecy (where they've asked me to do something really REALLY cool!). Enjoy the story and keep your compliments, comments, insults, ideas and theories coming!
SB
Chapter 17
First looking to the left, then to the right, Hermione composed herself before walking through the doors of number twelve Grimmauld Place. The previous night's episode with Sirius really bothered her and she couldn't help but dwell on how she may have overreacted. He was only trying to be helpful, he was only trying to make her feel better, but the more she thought about it, the more she felt he was trying to take advantage of the situation.
He was being a dick, she thought to herself. Crawling into bed with her, after a night prowling on the town with the guys, like a teenager with no curfew. He should have been ashamed of himself, acting so immature in thinking she was just going to roll over and lay him, after all that they'd been through that week.
It was hard enough to try and deal with specific things between them, let alone their future that now lie in the hands of the Ministry. If Sirius so much as showed any sign of not being able to procreate, she was going to be torn away from him faster than you could say quidditch. Heavy on her shoulders pressed the thoughts of not being with him, not being in the relationship they were still fresh in, and not being a part of the Order, itself. She knew about the petitions for her, she knew she was easily bribed for by a few pretty galleons flashed before someone, but her complete trust was in Sirius.
She knew that he'd never turn that shoulder; she'd learned that he would protect her at all costs. She knew that he would probably be willing to die for her, or for the Order, at least. To picture her life without him, right now, was something she couldn't visualize. Sure, he was pompous, arrogant, self centered, and sometimes crude, but he had exposed a side of him, to her, that not even Harry knew about. A side of him that was intimate, romantic, tender and gentle, and all of that together was extremely sexy; a side Harry wouldn't want to know.
Hermione took a deep breath and walked through the heavy old door. Harry and Ginny were just coming down the stairs, greeting her with friendly smiles.
"Hey Hermione," Harry said, helping her take off her coat and hanging it up on the rack.
"Is Sirius here, yet?" Hermione asked, setting her bag on the floor by the coat rack.
Ginny smiled to her friend and nodded, still thrilled to know a few secrets, "Yes. He got here half an hour ago, or so. He was outside talking with Charlie and Fred, last I saw. We're still waiting on Ron, though. He's running a bit late." Ginny ducked her head closer to Hermione, catching her to be a little off that evening. "Something wrong?"
Distracted in her own thoughts, again, Hermione shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Let's get into the meeting."
"Wow, Hermione, that's gorgeous!" Ginny squeeled as her eye caught the pretty new ring that sat on her friend's hand.
Despite how saddened she was with Sirius, she still managed a sincere smile as it reminded her of him, "Thank you. Sirius got it for me, for my birthday."
"Wow, I'm impressed. Guess the crabby old bloke does have some taste." Ginny teased, turning to go into the kitchen for the Order meeting.
The girls retreated into the kitchen where the room seemed even more crowded with the entire clan of Weasleys standing around with their ginger hair, like beacons of the family. Tonks stood by the sink, whispering something privately to Molly and Kingsley was sitting at the table next to Harry and Sirius.
When she quietly entered the room, Sirius sensed her. He glanced up to the doorway to see her behind Ginny and catch his eyes. He quickly averted his eyes from her, not wanting to confront the situation right then; another poor trait he seemed to possess.
Hermione felt a slight pang in her heart when he wouldn't look at her, so she mustered up the courage to continue like nothing was different to everyone else. When they got home, they would talk. For now, they were acting like they were supposed to around the Order members. Indifferent.
She took her seat on the other side of the table and looked, awaiting Remus to start the meeting. Hearing a throat clearing, Hermione glanced over at Snape who stood menacingly in the shadows of the kitchen, looking slightly irritated that he had been put out by even coming there. He nodded his head a little in her direction, acknowledging her presence and then taking a moment to narrow his eyes on her. Unaware of what he was really doing, she sighed quietly to herself and listened to Remus discuss plans for the next investigation.
The monotone sound traveled through her ears, but she wasn't paying attention. It was slightly out of character for her not to, since she was always the most energetic when it came to scheming against the Death Eaters. She was always ready with her notes alphabetized, her quick quotes quill ready to dictate, hand-outs for the Order and a plan B to back it up. However, on this night, she just didn't feel like herself.
Her heart started to pound over the anticipation of the results coming in on Monday, that she had no choice but to prepare herself for the worst. The ridiculous argument with Sirius loomed over her and she just wasn't quite sure how to go about that, since it was actually her first serious relationship with anyone. Fights as teenage lovers were one thing. When dealing with two adults in a disagreement, the term "adult" used loosely for Sirius, serious emotions were involved. Her insides were doing flips and it wasn't because of the seafood she ate at lunch. It was this unsettling feeling that everything might soon change, and everything she was learning to adjust and love might be taken away from her.
Just like before, Arthur blew in through the doors, like a dog was quick on his heels. He was winded and slightly frantic, and did all but conceal the glimmer of a smile over his lips.
"Arthur, you start showing up on time, or my weak heart is never going to stop panicking!" Molly blurted out, still wringing the handkerchief in her palms to calm her nerves.
"Sorry Molly, sorry Order." He apologized, leaning over to his wife and giving her a kiss. "I was waiting for the results."
"What results?" Charlie asked from across the table on Sirius's end.
He smiled to Hermione; as if he knew she was tearing herself up inside over these, "The medical results for Sirius and Hermione."
Sirius felt his heart catch in his throat over the unexpected news. He hadn't expected to have to go through with this for another two days, and now, as the scroll was clutched in Arthur's hand, he had no escape.
He was trying to remain calm and cool for everyone, and pretend like they had nothing to worry about. But, as his own heart started to pick up the pace, he couldn't help but imagine that what he was happy with was, again, going to be snatched away. He never doubted it before, but as he saw Arthur fidgeting with the parchment, he hated to think for a fleeting moment that there might have been something wrong with him.
What if all his preventive measures when he was "cating" around didn't matter at all and that he was sterile from the beginning? What if he couldn't have children and all his protective spells he was able to conjure up before, were bogus? What if they did find them out and his precautions were discovered. Had the doctors been that crafty to find out?
For the few seconds before Arthur started to read, Sirius glanced over to Hermione, who seemed to be focusing all her energy on her hands. She stared so intently at them; he thought there was something she was hiding. He sensed her uneasiness and he fought himself from going over and taking her hand to hold it close, as they listened to their results.
He watched the way her eyes blinked slowly, calming herself for the worst news. Her shoulders lifted and fell from the deep breaths she was taking and finally, he watched how her perfect rosebud lips began to chew, puckering them up. It broke his heart for her to sit there alone, and he knew he wasn't able to go over there; they would blow their cover from Harry.
Sirius looked up at Arthur and ushered him to release them from the torture they endured, "Well, come on man."
Arthur smiled, nodding his head in agreement with the results, "Everything's fine. You both are fine. They can't find any reason why you haven't conceived and that they wish you the best of luck in your efforts." He read aloud, verbatim of the scroll.
"Yes!" Sirius howled, slamming his hands on the table, quite pleased with himself that he had fooled the Ministry again.
He leaned back on the two legs of his chair and kicked his feet up on the table, bending his elbows and folding his hands behind his head in a rather cocky manner.
Hermione, on the other hand, was starting to blink faster and faster, her emotions erupting in a matter of seconds. She parted her lips as she breathed her sigh of relief, still pleased that they hadn't been discovered and a little more time was bought. Her racing heart started to subside, warming to the feeling of a comforting hand from Ginny that she gently placed on her wrist.
Feeling overwhelmed with it all, she found herself beginning to hiccup into a light sob and quickly rose from the table to pardon herself from the embarrassment, "Excuse me."
"Hermione!" Harry called out, standing from his chair about to go after her.
"It's been stressful for her." Ginny informed the group, laying her eyes on a cocky Sirius, who seemed not to notice his wife's departure.
"Let her go, Harry." Remus requested, pulling Harry back by his jersey, allowing Hermione time by herself.
Sirius bowed his head thinking to himself, when he felt a hard loud slap across the back of his head, flipping his hair into his face. Stunned, he immediately raised his head to the slapper, looking into the dark evil eyes of Molly Weasley, as she fiercely nodded to the door to go after her. Not quite sure who to be more afraid of, Molly or a Dementor, he abruptly stood from his chair and took off after Hermione, taking the cue.
Everyone sat at the table in silence, looking around at one another, not able to say a thing in front of Harry, who up until this point, may be the only one that didn't know.
"Lover's quarrel?" Snape mumbled, catching a glance from Harry who was still restrained by Remus.
Snape had read Hermione's mind when she sat there silent in her thoughts and was able to see that she and Sirius had had a row that day. He wasn't able to see what it was about, as he only read it for a short time.
Upon saying anything of the matter, Molly gave Snape a look of daggers, warning him not to say anything further. Sneering just a little, hating to protect the scarred one, he amended his last statement by opening his arms innocently and with a monotone voice added, "Just kidding."
Sirius was relieved for Hermione, having getting the results they wanted from the tests. But, as he followed her scent to the sitting room bathroom, his guilt over the morning before hung heavy on him. He knew he was an ass and he had absolutely no right to take it out on Hermione the way he did. When it came to women when he was drunk, he was another person and felt terrible for being that darker person with her.
Coming closer to the bathroom door, his heart fell when he heard her catching sobs. He quietly rapped on the door, whispering, "Hermione?" he paused, "Darling, it's me. Please let me in, love."
With the sound of his first whisper, she was already unlatching the door and opening it up slowly to let him in. Once inside, he didn't even have a chance to brace himself when she threw her arms around his neck, holding him close. His arms caught her, grateful to feel her against him. He bowed his head down by hers, kissing the top of her head to quiet her down.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione," He apologized. "I won't do that to you again, baby."
She clutched onto him close, feeling the soft cotton of his shirt against her cheek. She just needed him to hold her, she didn't care that he was apologizing, she knew he was sorry. It was just the drained feelings of waiting for the tests, waiting to see if they were going to be taken apart, and waiting to see if they were going to be able to buy more time. The worst was still ahead of them, keeping him alive and safe while she was nearby, so no one could replace him. They'd passed the medical exams, pacifying the Ministry for the time being, but now what stood ahead of them were the on-going war and another few months before they threw something else at them.
Ron had just come in the front door and decided to use the loo, before going into the meeting. He rounded the corner into the sitting room and saw the bathroom door ajar. Slowing down his pace, he heard quiet voices from behind the door quietly crept closer. When he got a better view, he was able to see the reflection in the mirror of the embracing couple.
Sirius ran his hand over her back, soothing her and helping her drain all of the pent up frustration. He never wanted to cause her any extra grief, but knew at this moment, she didn't care what he had done. They had leapt over one hurdle together and the rest was yet to come.
Sirius pulled his sobbing girl away from him, so he could better see her tear stricken face looking back up at him. Hermione bit her lip, running her hands down the front of his chest and blinked a few times to empty the tears from her eyes.
One more time, Sirius said, "I'm sorry." He leaned in to gently kiss her, letting her deepen it to what they were more used to together.
She reached up to tangle her tender fingers into his silky black hair as his hands fell down to gently squeeze her waist.
Ron, viewing from afar, stopped and gawked at the secret couple, not quite sure what to make of them. It was Sirius, that he could see, and it was Hermione, that he definitely could tell and the two of them were…
He shivered all the way down his body with this discovery and quickly averted his eyes from their display. He felt dulled, he felt numb and he forced his feet to carry him back to the kitchen where the meeting was taking place. He seemed to float into the kitchen, still quiet and stunned, hearing his name spoken by a few members that were sitting at the table, continuing on with the meeting.
"You all right, Ron?" Harry asked, looking at his friend strangely.
Not looking at Harry, he just nodded, "Sure."
After a few more minutes, Sirius and Hermione returned together, getting a few smirks from those that knew their truth, but remained quiet for Harry's sake.
As she settled back in her chair, Hermione smiled kindly for everyone that was patient with her, "Sorry, I've been a wreck all week and it was just really good to know that we've stalled them. At least for a little bit longer." She sniffled a little, ducking her head to hide her red eyes and took the hand that Harry had extended to her.
"On a good note, at least you know that all your plumbing works, just in case," Harry joked, hoping it made her smile.
For a few moments, the room was so quiet, you could hear Molly's heart pounding. No one was sure if it were if it was an honest or insensitive thing to say. At the same time, those that saw more humor to it, than what they were letting on, started to crack a few small smiles. Pretty soon, a few more started to smile, and then finally, Sirius was the first to start chuckling broadly at the situation. Harry just grinned Hermione, knowing none the wiser and strongly believing that what he said was in fact, funny.
Ron, on the other hand, remained quiet…until the meeting was over.
Ron had stayed in his seat, holding a grimace on his face that not even Fleur could break, letting the vision simmer like a cooking stew. However, one more notch and he was liable to boil over. He watched as Hermione was talking in private to Tonks and waited until she was standing alone. On the other side of the room, Sirius was sneaking out the backdoor with Charlie to start on another cigar that he was starting to fancy. He couldn't help but picture the two of them in the downstairs loo, making out like a couple of fifth years on a ten minute break. He watched as Hermione appeared to be normal, like the way he'd always known her to be, but with the very idea that she would actually be with someone like Sirius, was a joke. She was far too good for him.
He couldn't stand it any longer and got up out of his chair; he tore her away from her conversation with Tonks and pulled her behind him, through the remaining people that barely noticed her running out by her wrist.
"Ronald, what are you doing?" Hermione squeaked, climbing the stairs behind Ron at his control.
He quickly went into one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, swung her inside and closed the door behind him. He turned on her, his eyes big and his arms flailing, speechless. He had sat downstairs in the kitchen like a ticking time bomb and wasn't sure when or how he was going to go off.
"Ronald Weasley, what are you doing?" She yelled, breathless and blown away by his behavior.
"What am I doing? What in the bloody hell are you doing? Are you mental? What the hell are you doing kissing him?" He yelled in a dramatic stage whisper.
As if someone had just dropped cold water down Hermione's back, she froze as she stared at him in shock. Ron knew, which meant…Harry knew!
"Oh God Ron, does Harry know?" She whispered, afraid for the next rage to come through the door by her other best friend.
"Does Harry know? If he doesn't, I'm sure as bloody hell going to tell him! He's going to flip!"
"No, Ron! Harry doesn't know! You can't tell him." She begged, reaching for his hand that he just pulled out of her reach, disgusted to even look at her.
"Hermione, what are you doing? Has he kissed you before?"
"Yes." She was quick to answer, trying to explain.
"You're saying that downstairs wasn't your first time? There were others?" Ron blurted out, trying to grasp at anything.
He had seen them downstairs, so that's it. Then, he didn't know before, and Harry still doesn't know. "Yes, Ron, there were others." She lowered her eyes, feeling defeated and arguing with a wall.
"Are you shagging him?"
"Ron, don't say it like that." She answered offended, as if it was only that.
"Then you ARE shagging him?" Ron ran a nervous hand through his ginger hair and started to pace the room. "How long? Did he force you to do it? I'll kill 'em. That mangy git!"
She shook her head violently, trying to pace next to him and force him to calm down, "No, no, he didn't force me. It's not like that."
"How long?"
"For awhile."
"Think of Harry, Hermione! This is going to kill him." He continued to pace, shouting at her enough that the little vein on his forehead started to throb. "He's old enough to be our father, Hermione!"
"Stop it! There's nothing wrong with us being together, Ron. You're just being stupid! Now, listen to me." She tried interrupting, standing in front of him.
"I can hear you two all the way from downstairs!" Sirius yelled, coming into the room and activating a silencing charm as he shut the door. "Lower your voices!"
"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked, panicking that he heard.
Sirius shook his head and turned on Ron, "He's in the kitchen, he can't hear. But, your brothers know exactly what you're saying, Ron."
"Sirius, you're our friend, mate!" Ron said, balling up his fists, as if they had been betrayed.
"And I still am, Ron. Nothing's changed."
"Nothing's changed? You're shagging her, mate? Something's definitely changed! This isn't normal. How could you do this to her?"
"Ron, for fucks sake, calm down and listen. I'm not hurting her; she's fine, as you can see. Mostly everyone knows…"
"Everyone already knows? And no one told me?"
"Why would anyone want to tell you, mate? Look at the way you're acting. You're going completely mental!" Sirius pointed out, calmly sitting on the bed.
"Harry has got to know…"
"And Harry will know, but we're the ones that have to tell him."
"When? When did you plan on telling him?"
"Soon." Sirius whispered, glancing up at Hermione, as if they were both afraid of the inevitable.
The three of them were quiet for a little while and Sirius finally made the decision that he and Ron needed to talk a few things out, before they returned downstairs.
"Hermione, love, would you mind giving Ron and I a few minutes alone?" Sirius asked politely, looking back at Ron.
Ron just continued to grump, saying a few off color things under his breath and watched Hermione nod and leave them. For what seemed like an hour, Sirius just looked at Ron, wondering if he wanted to have a go at him, or not. He understood, and respected that he and Hermione had this unclear relationship that never panned out into anything and there still might have been remnants of feelings floating in the air. It was the only gentlemanly thing to do; discussing it.
"Do you hate me, Ron?" Sirius started, leaning over and resting his elbows on his knees as he talked to him. He played it cool and relaxed, hoping it would settle Ron a little and perhaps, be a little less defensive.
Ron was quiet for a few seconds, "To be honest, I just don't like you very much, right now."
Sirius nodded and said, "I can understand that." A few more moments went by, "You know, I'm not playing her, mate. This didn't happen overnight."
Ron glared at Sirius with eyes of loathing.
"It was a month before she even looked at me. I wasn't trying to take her away from you." Sirius offered, waiting for Ron to speak.
"She wasn't mine to begin with." Ron whispered, thinking about himself with her.
"In the beginning, we had no intention of ending up like this. Over time, she started to see me in a different light, and I the same with her. It was hard, in the beginning, to see her anything but yours and Harry's friend. But, we realized we were friends, too. The attraction was there with the challenge with the Ministry and we sort of just fell into it." Sirius started his story, rehearsing the speech he was going to give Harry, when he went through this as well. "I didn't force her into anything, we did everything the normal, old fashioned way. She flirted, I flirted, we did the date thing, and we did the romantic thing and now…" his voice trailed off. "We're happy Ron. I think she is, too."
Ron looked away from him as he told the story, letting all the honest information sink into him, fairly. Half of him wanted to stand up and lash out on him, on behalf of Harry, but the other half of him thought that fair was fair. Ron wasn't with Hermione. By the time the law was in effect, he was with Lavender. Knowing what kind of person Sirius had been in the past was all he had to go on. In a way, he used to idolize Sirius, the way Harry did, by being the outcast, the rebel, the rough guy. Sure, Ron wished for his best friend to be happy, and sure in a way, he wished he wasn't so dense when it came to her, but he guessed that it was only fair that Sirius had gotten her fair and square.
He was after all, a decent guy.
After Sirius had told his story, he waited to hear what Ron was thinking. Instead, he watched his godson's best friend just nod and appreciate that Sirius had talked to him about it, man to man. At the same time, he couldn't help but let the corners of his mouth relieve a slight grin.
"Mum's gonna kill you, if you fuck up."
Sirius just nodded and answered, "I know."