A.N.: Well, it's been quiet a while since I updated this and my apologies go out to all of you who have been waiting for the story to continue – I'm really sorry. I stopped watching the show a while ago and therefore lost touch with my story. But now I finally managed to get back to it and hopefully will be able to maintain my focus... Have fun reading it and tell me what you think.

Chapter 18:

Something was wrong, deeply wrong. He wasn't sure about what it was, but something was definitely wrong or at least different. The situation had somehow changed – for the better or for the worse he could not tell, he couldn't even tell exactly what it was, that disturbed him.

He started out with trying to recall what felt still the same. He was still in pain and still unable to move and he still felt the shame, helplessness and fear. Nothing about that had changed – the worst things were still there. But he didn't feel cold anymore...

He didn't know why, but it seemed like they had given his clothes back to him. Maybe they wanted to allow him a last bit of dignity. Although he actually doubted it – they didn't care about dignity, especially not about his.

Dignity... – no – he wouldn't think about this right now. He wouldn't think about what had been happening to him, what they had done to him, what he hadn't been able to defend himself from. He simply had been helpless – a grown up man, unable to make them stop... All his fault...

No! He tried to keep the thoughts away, tried to keep himself from recalling and ordered himself to focus. He was still dealing with the task of finding out what had changed, what differed from the last time he had been conscious and awake. There had been something else.

It was because his eyes were closed, that's why he didn't realize at first. It was bright in here, there were ligths – if artificial or natural he couldn't tell. But he was no longer a captive in the dark. He didn't get this - why would they want him to see. What were they up to now? They probably were about to kill him right now. Seeing them wouldn't matter in that case.

He knew he shouldn't be opening his eyes, it was the most dumb move he could be falling for right now, but he couldn't actually help it. Although his mind tried to scream some logic into him, telling him to pretend being unconscious – he couldn't. It was like an automatical reaction, like something deep inside told him to do it. And he did.

It had been a mistake. The bright light in his eyes hurt deeply and left him almost blind. If he would've had the power he would've rosen a shielding hand to protect his eyes, but he couldn't get his arm moving. He was just able to give a short hiss of pain as the light flooded into his eyes and then he tried to lay still again, hoping they hadn't heard him.

But he hadn't been lucky, for he wasn't alone. There were sounds, muffled and distant, but as he listened closely he could hear them more clearly and the sounds formed into a voice, a voice pronouncing words or a single word to be exact. But he couldn't understand - it was still too faint. But then all of a sudden he could hear it clear and strong.

"Danny?"

He was confused, deeply confused for a few moments. He knew this voice from somewhere. It was none of his attackers, they didn't know his name, nor would they have called him by it this way if they would've known. Not with such a tone – not with worry in their voices. It was somebody else, somebody he knew. But he just didn't remember, he tried and tried, but there was no face, no name appearing, that matched with the voice.

"Danny, can you hear me? Don't you worry. Everything's okay – it's gonna be fine. No one will harm you, you're safe."

Samantha! This was the name matching with the voice. Now that she had been talking again, his mind seemed to have somehow enlightened and found some pieces of his memory, something apart from the thoughts of fear and guilt and pain. He knew she wouldn't hurt him, he knew she would take care of him. She hadn't been lying – for now he was safe.

But maybe it was just a dream, just an illusion his mind had come up with to make the pain more bearable, something that allowed him to cope with the situation he was in right now. Something from a better time, a time where he hadn't been helpless and ashamed of himself. He just needed to hear her voice one more time, needed her to soothe him, needed to bathe in that feeling of security once again.

He was barely able to announce a word after all and it took a lot of his strength to do so. He barely could hear anything emerging from his throat – it wasn't even a word, not even a real sound... More like a raspy groan emerging from his dry lips and his hurting throat. He just hoped he had been able to reach her...

"I'm here Danny – don't be afraid. Everything's gonna be okay, you're gonna recover. You don't need to worry any more. There's nobody harming you any more, you're no longer held captive. You're safe here and we're going to take care of you. Don't worry, everything's fine."

He relaxed, hearing her voice once again – that soothing illusion around him. He was grateful for that. He wouldn't have been able to endure anything more if his mind hadn't come up with this by now. This was just wonderful – he was barely able to hide back tears. But he wouldn't let these bastards see him cry, he wouldn't let them see that he already needed this imagery to still get along with his situation – he wouldn't let them see they had broken his will, had broken him.

But then something else happened, something he couldn't believe, something that couldn't be a dream. It was just impossible, this was still his illusion. No illusion – no matter how desperate the situation was – could be that strong. He felt somebody touching his hand... Somebody who touched it softly, which definitely meant it was none of his attackers.

Did this mean it was actually Sam, who was by his side? Did she really talk to him? Did she really touch him? Could this be? Could she be there? Had they found him and saved him from his martyr? He just couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he had been saved. He needed to see it, needed to see it with his own eyes, needed to know she was actually there, no matter how painful it was. He had become a master in enduring pain in the last couple of days.

He blinked his eyes open once again and he immediately could feel the pain for another time. But this time he tried to keep back any audible sound of him feeling this pain and focused on the figure in front of him. He couldn't get a clear vision of what he was seeing at the first – the light was just too bright. But as he twinkled several times – actually each time a pretty hard effort and always a fight against just keeping them close again, his vision got more clear.

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. This couldn't be, it just couldn't – it was simply impossible. For he was actually seeing Samantha – his co-worker sitting right in front of him, giving him a concerned smile. Well – he believed he was seeing her, for she couldn't actually be there... She didn't fit into place. But he couldn't give up on her. She was a glimpse of hope. This time he tried to choke out a sound, which almost sounded like her name, but it wouldn't work.

The touch on his hand got tighter as he tried to speak the word, but he still wasn't able to figure out what it meant. He knew it couldn't be a dream for it was too intense and he knew it wasn't reality either for it was just too beautiful to be true. But what was it instead... Maybe he was dead...

Sudden panic rose in him as the thought invaded his mind and he tried to back away from the figure in front of him. Was this the solution to this riddle? The bright light, a familiar trustful person in front of him... it all fit his thoughts. But why was he still in pain then – that didn't make any sense...

"Danny please take it easy – it's all good. There's no more need to worry, no need to be afraid any more. You are safe now. The doctors are taking good care of you..."

Doctors? Medical supplies? That was it! Now he could even smell it all of a sudden – that characteristic smell, one would only find in one place of the world... He was in a hospital, somehow they had managed to find him and had taken him into the caring hands of nurses and doctors in a hospital. He somehow had survived his attackers' unbearable treatment...

Sudden awareness, and the wish to breathe in deeply from relief, made him realize that something was wrong. He wasn't able to get in air, something was blocking his airways, there was something in his throat preventing him from breathing. Panic started to rise and he clenched his fingers tightly around the hand offered, trying to grab this thing in his mouth with the other one.

But he was gently held back by Samantha and the fact that she didn't even need force to pull his hand away again, told him that he was most definitely in a very bad shape. However that didn't minimize his panic. He tried to shift in his bed, finding another way to get rid of this thing shoved down his throat, but it simply caused pain – nothing else. Samantha however was firmly grabbing him by his shoulders, trying to calm him.

"Danny, calm down and don't fight against it! You have a tube down your throat providing you with oxygen. It's alright, don't fight! The doctor is gonna remove it as soon as possible. You weren't breathing on your own for the last couple of days. It will be okay, don't worry about it, it's gonna be removed. Just try to relax."

He tried to listen to her and obey to her orders, but it wasn't easy. He still felt like he was suffocating and being forced to do something and unable to help oneself had provided him with a lot of fear and panic in the last couple of days. Suddenly her words came back on him – she knew about his condition, knew he hadn't been breathing...

But what did that mean? Did that mean she also knew about the other stuff? Did that mean they all knew? Of course the doctors did, they were responsible for his treatment. But what about Samantha or Jack – did they know? Did they know every last sickening detail of what had been happening to him? Did they know what they had done? What he hadn't been able to fight? He felt overwhelmingly ashamed all of a sudden and backed away from her once again.

This was cruel, it was even more cruel than the treatment he had gone through – for it had simply been a physical pain. This now was far worse than any torment they had put him through. They had broken him, had expelled all his shame and helplessness to the people that trusted in him. He knew he couldn't cope with that – never would he be able to cope with that.

Right now he wished he had died, wished it had all ended. The pain, the fear, the shame – he wished for all of that to end. He stopped fighting against the will to close his eyes and all power and will left his body as he lay limp on the bed, welcoming the unconsciousness that overtook him once again, sending him into a darkness without thoughts and without knowledge.