Wiz was, well, she was all that Subaru was expecting and then some. The first several hours the three spent in Wiz's Place was spent regaling her on what they had gone through for the past three weeks. Starting with Kazuma's journey to Lugnica, then Subaru's prison break, their part in that one war and the recruit of Kumoko, the other Demon Lord and her eccentrics, and on and on.
It was somewhat exhausting having to pull up all the facts and tidbits that happened along the way. Thankfully Wiz just jotted them down in a journal before smiling and offering them some rooms for the night. The undead in her care were the exact same kind of undead that they had met in the tower, so there wasn't any issue to have some favors exchanged.
Besides, their down time led to an interesting scene.
Wiz going gaga over Kumoko's silk and requesting (pesturing) her over every little detail about them. At first Kumoko tried to leave, tried to get away, but a platter of cooked meats changed her mind rather quickly. Wiz spend the entire time she was eating asking as many questions as Kumoko could answer with her telepathy.
So while their off doing that, Kazuma was giving him and Sophia a tour of the place.
"And to the left is the armory, it's mostly just full of random weapons and junk. Adventurers don't really come her often so we don't get much trouble." Kazuma said while pointing to a room behind a large wooden door with dulled spikes lining it. This was the third armory they had passed, neither of the previous two had those same spikes, but rather a lining of metal studs. "Do you even have enough weapons to need all these armories?" Subaru asked. "Nah, just one has enough storage for all the weapons the undead in here would need, but Wiz likes having them scattered about so that anyone could get them in an emergency. Plus most of the space is just used for storing junk." Kazuma answered as they passed what might have been a mess hall.
"Not as big as expected." Subaru said as Sophia started squirming in his grasp. He let Invisible Providence take hold of her as his arms relaxed at his side. "Not as big, we've only been going around for ten minutes, it would take three hours to tour the whole place at the rate we're going." Kazuma replied.
"Yeah yeah, but I was wondering?" Subaru spike up. Kazuma turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Go on" he said. "I was wondering... Why do you serve Wiz? Wasn't the whole point of you know what so that you could-" he leaned in at this. "So you could kill her boss, so why help her?" he whispered his question. Kazuma looked at him for a second, before breathing in (does he even need to breath?) and rasing his hand.
"I have two reason." Kazuma said while holding up three fingers. "First is that I still intend to kill the Demon King, I just need to get strong enough and close enough while playing it smart. Then I kill him, while making sure no one can take his place." Kazuma said while lowering the first finger. "Second is that Wiz is the only reason I'm not some raging undead terrorizing the countryside or size feet under, she managed to bind me too her so that I would stop the rampage that was my stint into undeath. If she hadn't been there then I would either be a mindless killing machine, or put down by some group of powerful adventurers." he answered while lowering the second finger. "Third... you'll have to ask Wiz if you can gain enough of her trust." Kazuma finished as he lowered the past finger.
"So you'll die for her?" Subaru asked, pushing further. "Not so much as die as live. She isn't the kind of master to force servitude, barter and pester maybe but never subjugation." Kazuma spoke with resolution in his voice. "She's that nice?" Subaru pushed forward. "Trust me, spend enough time and you'll see that she means well." Kazuma replied before he continued forward. "Come on, I've got to show you the bathhouse here." he said. Subaru quickly picking up the pace behind him.
'Ah, she's finally done.' Kumoko sighed. She had spent the past two hours being pestered by Wiz about every little facet she could think of, and now she's exhausted. Not even the meat platter Wiz had given in exchange for her cooperation was enough to sooth the tiredness in her self.
'Wonder where the boys went, and the baby blood sucker? Oh well, we'll see each other eventually.' Kumoko surmised as she started scratching at the floor with her scythe legs. 'For a tomb, this is pretty homey, could do without the...' "Miss Kumoko." Kumoko was shaken from her thoughts by an undead approaching her. "Sir Kazuma had requested I show you to your temporary quarters while you will be staying here once you were done with Madam Wiz." The undead (dressed like a butler) said. 'Oh, ok, say is there anything interesting in this place uhhh...' "Walter, my name is Walter. Though there sadly isn't much to do; as this place is far from adventurers and fairly well armed, we don't do much unless ordered too" The undead answered for her.
Kumoko deflated at this.
"Though we do have a game room, a library, and a small bathhouse if you are looking to alleviate your boredom." Walter added in. Kumoko smiled before nodding, letting Walter show her too her new room. They passed several rooms, each so much like the last in their mundanity, before coming to a more decorated room.
"This one here is for you, Sir Kazuma has his own crypt just down the hall and too the left while Sir Subaru and the young Sophia are staying in the adjacent room. Please feel free to call if you require any assistance." Walter said to her while gesturing to each area as he spoke about them. 'This place is pretty barren.' Kumoko surmised as she looked within. The room only had the most basic of furnishings and hardly anything else.
"I must apologize, we don't get many guests here so it may not be to your standards." Walter said as she tested the bed. 'Its kinda soft,' she said while rolling on it with her large arachne body. "In the cabinet is a collection of clothing Wiz had us collect from storage, if you'd be willing to test what suits you. I'll be back to call you for dinner." Walter said while walking out.
'Hmm... Try on some clothes, or do anything else?' Kumoko pondered. She got off the large bed and walked over to the cabinet Walter had been talking about. Opening it revealed a large collection blouses, dress tops, and coats her size (some were even long enough to hang over her arachnid half). Only two got her attention though; a baggy blouse with white and pink colors much like her own carapace, and a large dark blue cape.
'How'd she even get stuff like this?' Kumoko wondered as she put the blouse on over her DIY bralette. It wasn't as soft but still very comfortable. When she pulled out the cape she gave a little twirl while putting it on, letting the fabric flow with her motion before clipping it to her blouse.
'One step closer to being a true magical girl, am I right?' she asked herself.
"And that's how I got this scar on my neck." Kazuma finished explained while pointing to a large scar that was only visible when his shirt was pulled down. "So it just kills you, if you aren't respectful to it." Subaru replied as he looked through the large cabinet. "Normal people yeah, I just spent ten minutes trying to get my body to move while it kept on snowing. Spent three days buried in snow before Wiz found me and reattached my head." Kazuma replied.
"Must have been rough." Subaru replied as he fidgeted with a black and orange tunic. "Yep, turns out only Dellahan and skeletons can move around without their heads." Kazuma said. Sophia whined a bit as Wiz was nearby helping her fit into a puffy sundress and matching hat rather than her old clothes. "Hmmm"; "Hm, what hm?" Kazuma asked.
Subaru didn't answer, just turned to him with a eyepatch over his right eye (his bad eye). The eyepatch had a small decal of stars on it while Subaru just turned and grinned. "Hold up some of your fingers, doesn't matter which." he said while covering his left eye. Kazuma just cocked his brow but followed, rasing three of his fingers. "Pointer, Middle, and pinkie finger." Subaru guessed correctly. Kazuma switched it up; "Every finger but the middle one." Subaru guessed correctly once again. "Ok, what am I holding?" Kazuma asked as he pulled something out of his inner pocket. "A magic crystal." Subaru guessed correctly once again.
Kazuma just shrugged his shoulders as Subaru uncovered his good eye. "So you can see with it?" he asked. "Yes, even better than I could before." Subaru replied ecstatically. "Say Wiz, what is that eyepatch called?" Kazuma asked. "Oh that, the Star Gazer is a magic item that functions much like a telescope who's range can modified. It was made by an ancient astrologer to allow him to map out the stars even as his eye sight failed and his telescopes broke." Wiz explained. "So it works even for my non-functioning one?" Subaru asked. "Yes, I thought it be nice to get you something to fix the problem." Wiz replied sweetly.
As she went back to helping dress Sophia, who had by now thrown the hat to the ground and was fussing with the dress, Subaru leaned close to Kazuma. "Is she always like this?" he asked. Kazuma nodded; "When I was calmed down she gave me assess to a small armies worth of tools and a room to stay, not to mention the free teaching from another general." Kazuma answered.
"So we're in good hands." Subaru stated. "Very good hands." Kazuma replied. Subaru just went back to looking through the cabinet for the rest of his clothes as Wiz finished getting Sophia dressed. "Aren't you just so cute, yes you are, yes you are." Wiz baby talked to Sophia. "Completely fine." Kazuma surmised.
"Wiz, Wiz, she's back. The creepy girl's back. We don't know what to do." An undead came bursting in through the door. Subaru jumped back and Sophia started crying. "Kazuma, if you could?" Wiz asked. "On it, she'll be out in no time." Kazuma replied while stepping out.
"Sorry about the door." The undead said. "Its no worry, just get it fixed." Wiz said as she rocked Sophia. "I'm sorry, but who's she?" Subaru asked. "An adventurer, no matter how many times we push her away she keeps coming back alone. The worst part is..." The undead trailed off as he curled into a ball. "She's obsessed with it, every two weeks she comes in and she won't stop. It's not right, she just ain't right." The undead said while seeming to cry.
"Her name is Darkness, she's a crusader for the Church of Eris. And a complete... what was the word Kazuma used, a masochist, a complete and utterly depraved masochist." Wiz explained to him. "She's been terrorising us for three months. We can barely harm her, much less kill her, and she just gets weird about it." the undead chimed in. "She sounds like a real piece of work." Subaru stated.
'Hey Kazuma, where are you going?' Kumoko asked. "A certain adventurer got in again. She's been scaring away the others so Wiz is having me deal with her." Kazuma replied. 'You've dealt with her before?' Kumoko asked. "Yep, usually a rope and liberal use of drain touch stops her in her tracks, as long as you don't let her get any arousal it's usually fine." Kazuma answered. 'Arousal?' Kumoko asked. "She's a masochist, a very 'passionate' masochist. She keeps trailing into the dungeon in the hope of fighting some powerful undead who can possibly fulfill her kink." Kazuma clarified.
'What a wack job.' Kumoko replied. "A whole sale wack job, I loosely tie her up then knock her out with drain touch. then I drag her out of the dungeon and walk her out of the place so that her friends can pick her up." Kazuma said. 'Her friends don't attack you.' Kumoko asked. "Nope, They think I beat her in a fight and are too scared to fight me." Kazuma clarified.
They then came upon a strange scene. Several undead bundled behind a corner, some even curled up into balls. "She over there?" Kazuma asked. The undead nodded as the two walked past them. Kumoko followed suit, passing a small glance back to the group of probably traumatized undead.
'Why don't you just kill her, you haven't had many qualms about killing adventurers before?' Kumoko asked. "She's just built different. The first time we met I did try to fight her, until I broke my entire hand after punching her in the face." Kazuma paused after this, his eyes scanning ahead. 'Your whole hand?' Kumoko raised a brow. "Yep, whole hand was reduced to limp pulp just trying to punch her 'soft' cheek." Kazuma clarified.
'You went right for her face?' Kumoko inquired. "Not right for it, tried to strike at her heart and abdomen, then my first sword broke against her chest and my throwing knives got stuck in the remains of her armor." Kazuma replied. 'Her chest... broke a sword?' Kumoko pondered. "Granted the sword was quite rusty, but the fact that it happened anyway was just plain shocking." Kazuma finished as they rounded the corner.
What they saw just added to Kumoko's confusion. A well built woman, clad in thin armor and wielding a long sword, wore the most perverted smile she had ever seen. She was muttering in low voices, all the depraved things she expected the undead here to do to her. From Mobbing her to death to feasting on her flesh she spoke them. Kazuma seemed to cringe before he put on his domino mask and approached the woman that had yet to notice them.
'Maybe I should just kill her? Get this big issue out of the way. Then again, Kazuma said that any decently wealthy adventurer can just have their friends pay a priest or cleric to have them revived. Would my magic even work against someone like her, apparently Masochism appears as a skill with appraisal.' Kumoko rambled on as Kazuma began his 'Fight' with the Crusader.
"I can't thank you enough for this Wiz." Subaru said as he adjusted the Star Gazer eyepatch. In the end he had dressed in the black and orange tunic Wiz had somehow gotten but paired with a set of dark brown pants and of course the Star Gazer. "Its no problem, Kazuma gave me a basic rundown of how you two met and I felt it was my duty as homeowner to provide for my guests." Wiz replied.
"Still." Subaru said as he stood up using Invisible Providence. Wiz seemed to take notice at his posture and walked over to him with Sophia in her arms. "Are you Ok? I know that you've had trouble walking but your posture and stance don't seem right." Wiz asked him.
"Oh, this... You see. My limbs have gone through a lot. I've been trying to get them back to their old glory, but it's extremely difficult to do with just healing potions and limb puppetry." Subaru replied, scratching the back of his neck. "Oh, how horrid. I may not be a healer, but I do know some spells that can help you out." Wiz said. "Now Wait, you've already done so much for us." Subaru tried to dismiss her. "Nonsense, you've also helped me out. Not only has Kumoko been a great asset but with Sophia here I have so many other opportunities. It be foolish not to help you guys out." Wiz shut down his denial.
"So here. Greater Restoration." Wiz said as light flowed from her hand. The light quickly bathed over Subaru and he felt better than he had in years.
'But should I even bother, she can't even hit anything with her sword.' Kumoko continued pondering as she watched Kazuma fight the Crusader.
Fight, being a strong word.
Kazuma would simply walk around her attacks, poke her with Drain Touch, then walk out of her reach. Darkness would swing her sword, miss horribly even if Kazuma was standing still, then mutter something utterly depraved and lewd. Rinse and repeat for five minutes.
'She's so frickin boring, I mean what the hell would masochism even do?' Kumoko asked. 'Hmm, I know. Paralyzing Evil Eye.' Kumoko said as she unleashed her Skill. Kazuma was currently out of her field of vision so she felt it was fine. The skill quickly took hold of Darkness, halting her movement as she suddenly buckled.
'There all done.' Kumoko said. "Hey, warn me next time." Kazuma shouted at her. 'Why, I got rid of the problem.' Kumoko replied. "The problem is-" Kazuma was about to say when they both heard Darkness let out a deep breath.
They turned to see the Crusader. She stood tall despite the paralyzing affect of the Evil Eye skill. 'What the fuuu...' Kumoko started as Darkness let out a strange noise. "Just great Kumoko, you let her achieve release." Kazuma chided her. Darkness continued to let out lewd noises as she got closer to them. 'She's walking?' Kumoko panicked for a second.
Until Darkness fell over unconscious.
"Well, guess that takes care of that." Kazuma said.