Chapter 28:

Since the tube had been removed and – as Dr. Collins had told him – the level of medication had minimized, Danny was a lot more aware of his surrounding. It was easier to control his emotions right now, keep them at bay, keep them suppressed. But still – every time someone entered this room, even if they were knocking before entering, he couldn't help but wince.

It wasn't any different as a young nurse entered his room right now, frightening him and forcing him to tell himself to relax. He didn't want anyone to notice how deeply scared he was by anything that would in any way remind him of his experience. It also explained the rude tone of his words, when he addressed the nurse.

„What do you want?"

„I have to change the bandages."

Terror materialized in his eyes almost immediately as he realized what this would mean. He knew the most severe injuries, the one's he had been in surgery for, were those on his chest and side. It meant for the nurse take of the shirt, leaving him completely exposed to her and it meant for her to touch him.

He had already been troubled when Dr. Collins had removed the tube, although she had barely been touching him after all and he knew her for quite a while. But this woman was completely unknown to him and her job made it necessary to touch him at sensitive areas he didn't want her at.

He managed to calm for a moment, trying to find his composure and form some words that he hopefully would be able to announce in a steady tone. He didn't wanna sound pathetic, he didn't want her to see his fear of something as simple and necessary as the changing of bandages. But although he logically knew she was simply doing her job and that it prevented his wounds from getting infected, he didn't want her to do it.

„No."

„But I have to."

He tried to shift from his position in bed, further away from her and out of her reach, but it simply caused pain, not being useful after all. How the hell was it supposed to be futile anyway? With both his legs broken, there was no damn way to move anywhere. It was frustrating.

She approached to him, reaching out to him and he couldn't – for once again – help the sheer feeling of fear rushing over him, taking him over and getting a hold on him. Logic dis-appeared at that very moment, leaving only instinct behind, an instinct which told him to keep her away from him.

„Don't!"

He grabbed her by the arm forcefully, trying to hold her back and he could feel her wince and see the surprise and slight fear in her eyes. She probably asked herself where he had gathered the strength from – a patient who had still been in coma one and a half days ago – for he definitely managed to hurt her, her reaction showed it to him.

„Let go of my arm!"

He couldn't – even if he would've wanted to do so, he simply couldn't. He was far too afraid to listen to her plea and apart from that he really didn't want to let her go. The options left when he did so were anything but pleasing. She would rather tell the doctor, who would have him sedated then, sending him back to a world of darkness and nightmares again or she would try to approach him again."

„Let go of me!"

Obviously her calling for him to stop, had alarmed people, for seconds later he was confronted with Dr. Collins, who rushed into his room. She seemed to be surprised for a second, then angry for about another few, before her features relaxed and she slowly and carefully took a few steps closer to him.

„What's wrong?"

Danny didn't answer her question. But even if he would have wanted to do so, he wouldn't have gotten a chance. The young – and very frightened – nurse, immediately started to explain the situation from her point of view, her voice high pitched and hysterical.

„I just came here to change his bandages and then he attacked me! You need to help me, Dr. Collins – please."

The female doctor took another very careful step to the bed, ignoring the hysterical nurse completely and focusing all her attention on Danny, hoping to reach him by her presence and simply looking at him. She spoke clear and audibly, addressing him by first name – something she hadn't ever done since he was under her medical care

„Danny – it's okay. She's not going to harm you in any way. She didn't mean to threaten you. Everything's okay."

She hoped for any reaction from him, some sign which told her he was aware of her presence and able to listen to her. But there was no such reaction. He was still clinging to the young woman's arm, not willing to let her escape from his grip. She tried again none the less.

„Please – you have to let go of her. She won't hurt you, no one's gonna hurt you."

He wasn't listening to her, he probably wasn't even aware of her presence. He had been in a process of surpressing his memories of the incident since he first woke and this situation had caused some form of regressing. He was threatened by the nurse, because the situation he had been in had reminded him of something that had happened during that three days of torment.

But that didn't change the fact that he was in need of the medical treatment, the nurse had been assigned to give to him, and neither did it change the fact that he had to let her go. It was her responsibility however to make him see that.

„Look – she's simply just doing her job, she – in no way – intents to harm you. She doesn't want to do that. Okay?"

She took another step to the bed being only about half a meter away from him now and that finally caught his attention. He still wasn't letting go, but he turned to look at her – complete terror visible in his eyes. Whatever he had been reminded of, it was threatening him half to death.

„Get away!"

„You know I can't do this."

She tried to stay calm, giving her voice a soothing tone and hoping to calm him, have her own emotion radiate and make him see he couldn't do this, that he had to stop and that no one around here would ever hurt him. But it didn't work – he seemed too entangled in his memory to even realize he was still in a hospital.

„Just go!"

„I can't – I'm responsible for both of you, I can't just walk away."

„I told you to get away!"

He didn't even realize it until the young nurse cried out hysterically, but he obviously – in his anger about the doctor's rejection – had grabbed tighter to the woman's arm. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but obviously he had done so and in combination with her own hysteria, it probably felt far worse to her than it actually had been.

But it seemed to work. Dr. Collins was finally taking a few steps backwards. What he did not know, was the fact that she had already called for an orderly before she had entered this room, asking him to wait outside until she asked for his help. She had wished to avoid this situation, had hoped she would be able to talk him into letting the nurse go. But apparently that hadn't worked.

„Alright. I'm gonna go."

The young nurse's eyes widened in terror and her hysteria grew even more as she tried to once again struggle against the grip on her arm. Fortunately she was keeping Danny's attention from the door where Dr. Collins had just silently signaled the orderly to follow her. For now she was just hoping the nurse's desperate struggle wouldn't cause her patient any harm. He had been through enough.

They were by his bedside before he even realized she had entered the room again. She couldn't help but feel sad about what she was forced to do, what the experience, the ordeal he had been put through forced her to do to him although she really didn't want to do it.

„I'm sorry."

Her whispered words caused him to look at her immediately, but he got no more chance to do anything about her newly made appearance next to his bed as the orderly forcefully grabbed him by the arm he held the nurse with. The sheer power of the other man caused him to let go of the young woman who immediately moved away from his bed in sheer panic.

He tried to struggle against the other and way stronger man and he knew it was fruitless, but he was too terrorized by this whole situation to have any rational thought after all. He just blindly tried to struggle and escape from the iron grip on his arm.

„Let go of me! Let go!"

„Hold him! You have to hold him down!"

He could hear Dr. Collins and he could hear the desperation in her voice, but he didn't care. She was doing this to him, she was hurting him and he simply wanted her to stop. He had been cursing at the orderly already and now he told her to stop and let go of him. However she ignored him.

„You can't do this! You can not do this to me! Let me go – goddamn it, let go of me!"

„Hold his arm."

He immediately realized what she was about to do and he swore to himself that he wouldn't let this happen. He struggled even harder and he felt a sudden stitching pain in his wrist – the one that had been broken during the assault he had been put through. His fighting had obviously aggravated the injury, but he didn't care, he simply didn't care.

„No! Don't! Don't do this, don't hurt me!"

„Hold it steady, I don't wanna hurt him."

He could – once again since he had been under the doctor's care – feel the needle enter his vein, as Dr. Collins injected him with the sedative. It had an almost immediate affect and he felt all the will to fight die down. But he was still able to talk to her, though yelling at her was out of the question right now. He was just able to plead for mercy.

„Don't do this to me, please... Don't hurt me, just please don't..."

„Ssshhh. It's okay – I didn't mean to hurt you. It's gonna be okay."

She could see his features relax as the medication kicked in, but she didn't feel any triumph about it. This had been the worst outcome for this situation and she actually had in no way intended to have him sedated again. She knew his sleep was troubled with memories and nightmares, even if it came artificially.

She was losing that small bit of trust he had in her. She had been the one saving his life, but with every time she forced him to relive these nightmares again she was killing a part of him and she was slowly losing his trust. But there had been no other way. He had been too frightened to listen to her and she couldn't let him have his will. She was responsible for his security as well as the one of the people around him.

His reaction had scared her, she hadn't been expecting it. She had been aware of the fact that there might be some trouble with the process of changing the bandages, some emotional reaction, which had been her reason to send a female nurse. But she had never believed he would be reacting like that. It told her that, whatever trauma he had gone through in particular – it had been far worse than she had imagined so far.