Please read this, it's important. I did miss last Tuesday's update and I'll probably be missing the next. The reason why is I've gone into a huge editing phase for the chapters that I haven't posted yet (there's about 30 already written). I've written about twenty thousand words in over a week. I also thought about going back to part I've posted and changing a couple things. The main one being making Azar somewhat illiterate. I realized that would take a lot of editing so I'm leaving that out. I've also fallen into one of my depression episodes where I have no motivation to do anything, even getting out of bed. All I ask: please be patient as I slowly work through editing the not posted chapters before I post them. Thank you so much for reading my story. You guys don't understand how much I appreciate my readers.
"Ratchet, something weird happened," I stated, fear leaking into my voice. "Two weird things happened, actually."
The twins and I had to separate when Prowl called for them. We had been hanging out for a few hours and despite the crackling of energy in my chest, it was relaxing. Of course, my guard was still up but not to its full extent the longer I stayed with them.
Said bot in questioning turned around to face me. Concern clearly evident in his blue orbs. He seemed to scan his gaze over my frame, possibly looking for any injuries "What happened?" The medic moved over to stand in front of me and offered his hand to stand on. I accepted his offer without hesitation and landed carefully on the outstretched limb.
My eyes found his as I explained the two incidents. The mech listened quietly and nodded his head when it seemed appropriate. When I had finished, still a little shaken up, he spoke up to give his medical advice. "I don't believe the nausea is a side effect of the connection but I'll put it in my notes just in case. For Sideswipe shocking you, that's from the lack of touch between you three."
Ratchet carried me over to his desk and set me down. "Wait, what? That doesn't make any sense. Why do I have to touch them to not get shocked? That sounds a little twisted."
"Let me rephrase that. I'm guessing you haven't been around them much since you practically live in here. Your connection with them is kind of like a circuit board. But instead of the energy being lost, it gets stored in you. The longer you go without being at least within close proximity wise with them, the more electricity builds up in you." The neon yellow bot grabbed a tablet and tapped on it, still being able to talk with me.
"Those two are near each other nearly twenty-four seven which balances their side of the connection. You though? Aren't. I would recommend being around them for a half an hour each day to allow the electricity to flow."
I couldn't believe what he was saying that I should do. "You're saying that I have to be around them every day? That'll definitely have them running in the other direction," I scoffed and crossed my arms roughly.
He gazed down at me, his brows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?"
A depressed sigh escaped me. My gaze fixated on the metal below me, unable to meet his own. "What I mean by that is, once they find out my body count, they'll want nothing to do with me. You saw how William reacted. Yeah your kind has been much more accepting of me but something's like that will draw a line. I'm already waiting for them realize they don't want me as their soulmate and to drop me like a sad sack of potatoes. But worse thi-ng of it all, I'm already at-tached to them and I don't wa-nt them to leave. But fate is cr-uel to me." My voice cracked, I, unable to handle the cold, hard truth.
Tears cascaded down my cheeks and a sob threatened to break the silence. Why does this always happen to me? Why does everyone leave me? Why can't someone love me for who I am?
"Oh, Azar," he muttered sorrowfully and bumped a finger against my shoulder, gaining some of my attention. "I promise you they won't leave you. I've known those two since they joined the Autobots. If I didn't think they were right for you, I would've warned you and find a way to break it. You three are a little closer than you think. Please, Azar, trust my word, they won't hurt you in any shape or form." I couldn't stop the sob and latched onto his digit.
Thankfully, Ratchet didn't pull away. I cried harder, unable to stop any of the tears falling. It had been years since I last cried like this, in general sobbed. It had been just as long since I've found someone I could confide in, tell all of my fears and ball my eyes out. The only other person was my dad, Zayden.
And well, I wouldn't be able to see him for a long time, until Jasper is at least taken care of.
After sometime, way pass the sun settling, I released my hold on Ratchet. My cheeks burned and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. All I could do was apologize since my actions were way out of line. "I'm sorry Ratchet. Next time, you can just tell me off," I muttered and took off to head to the rafters.
Ratchet didn't let me get far though. "Azar, there's no reason to be sorry. Whatever you want to tell me, you can, I'm not going to judge. I'm here for you," he stated and sounded sincere. My gaze met his and tears threatened to fall down my cheeks again. "And besides, I don't you want to be sleeping up in the rafters when you have a perfectly good platform."
What? The medic gestured over to a slab of metal welded to the side of the hangar, under a window. "I've feared ever since you started sleeping up there, you were going to fall. So, I had a couple of contractors build your own little spot close to a window. You can leave whenever you want. I also was able to order some blankets for you."
Those tears poured down my face without a care in the word. "R-Ratchet, you didn't have to," I stuttered, unsure on how I should act, and used my hand to wipe away some tears.
A large, gracious smile grew on his features. "Oh but I did. I couldn't have you falling off of the rafters in your sleep… and it's not just that. You're a good kid, just trying to do some good in the world. Don't think so poorly about yourself either. For my sake, okay?" He reached up and brushed a few stray tears away, being mindful of my wings.
"Alright, but no promises. I don't make promises." That was good enough for him. I took roost in my new bed and enjoyed the soft blankets he got for me.
Night became day, the sun rising to block out all other stars. Despite the warm, comfortable blankets wrapped around me, I couldn't get a lick of sleep. Nothing seemed off and no sign of danger so why couldn't I sleep?
Internally, I kind of had a sneaky suspicion that it had to do with the twins. After what Ratchet told me about having to be around them every single day to keep me from getting 'shocked' again, I was redundant of following through. At this time, it was too late to turn around; I had grown attached to them, already. But how would this interspecies relationship work?
To start off a list why it couldn't: I wasn't even fully human anymore; there's two of them which is frowned upon in society; and oh yeah, I've killed over two thousand people, including after leaving Jasper and killing their soldiers. Again, that is strongly frowned upon! One last thing, they aren't human! Well, that didn't bother me as much as it should but I still put it on the list. Plus, Sunstreaker despises humans with a passion.
What did I get myself into?
When it was still morning, Ratchet came in like usual and handed me my first meal of the day which included four cooked chicken legs, two fried eggs, a few pieces of bacon, and a glass of milk. "Thank you, Ratchet." He dipped his head to acknowledge my appreciation before exiting the hangar. Huh, where was he going?
Usually at this time, he was working on the tablets his size or some other thing on his desk. But schedules do change and it wasn't my place or 'pay grade' for me to know. Wait a minute. I'm not getting paid! This is child labor… wait, I'm not a kid. Dang it.
As its average, the military's bases' food was taste. I devoured the entire plate, a perfect start for the day, and brought it with me to the cafeteria.
Twenty to thirty soldiers crowded the building, either talking or eating, or, disgustingly, both at the same time. I stepped inside, head held high, no care to their glances or words they will mutter. The plate was still in hand as I wandered over to where you return the dish.
All noise of conversations ceased the moment when they noticed my quiet entrance. Many kept their gaze focused on my frame and others returned to their talking or food. Their stares nearly caused a shudder to run down the length of my spine but I was able to reframe showing emotion.
One voice caught my attention above the rest, well more of the words said. "Isn't she cool? I told you so, Rocky. And she can silence a room without saying anything, just like Boss Bot." I quickly returned the platter and did a one-eighty to head the direction I just came from.
Another human spoke, close to the first one. "I think it's because people are afraid of her. Look at her. Those claws can surely do some nasty damage even if they were grazed acrossed your skin. She has water and fire powers. Remember, she was the one that blew up the Jasper base. It fell on her and look at her, it's been barely, what, four days and she's prancing around the base like nothing happened. She isn't cool, she's freaky and unnatural."
Flames of anger flickered in my eyes. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned slowly and calculated in the two voices direction. They must have felt me staring and their gaze over to me. Both shrunk down due to my intense gaze and found the ground more interesting.
The sound of my talons tapping against the concrete once more alerted the two. I stalked over to their table, heat blazing underneath my scales. Neither human had the guts to move or look me in the eye and sat there, hands trembling.
Once reaching them, I quietly set a clawed hand down on the end of the table and rest heavily on it. The other humans around us silenced themselves to hear what was about to go down. "Would you like to repeat yourself?" I growled lowly and peered down at the second human.
She fidgeted under my gaze, unable to stay still no matter what she did. "I, uh… I, ummm." The female glanced over to her partner, silently requesting for help. For her sake, he came to her rescue.
He stood up on shaky legs, clearly frightful of just my presence. If one of them wants to speak ill about me and states that people are scared of me, I guess I should use that to my advantage. "Um, ex-excuse my friend, ple-please… She doe-sn't k-know better."
I held my gaze on him. "Well, I guess she should take this as a learning step to not say rude things about powerful and deadly people, in this case, a creature." My eyes shifted over to the female and I leaned down, instilling fear into her. "Right?"
Her head nodded rapidly but her gaze never met mine. I backed off and took a couple steps away from them to stand closer to the middle of the room. "For everyone in this room, I'm here to take down Jasper and the Decepticons. I don't entirely care what you say about me but make sure I'm not in the room," I hissed and strode out of the room.
Fury rolled off of me in waves and blanketed the surrounding area with heat. There wasn't any reason to get this riled up over the same words my own mother has called me. I blame the connection. Anything that goes wrong or my emotions get a little out of hand, I'll just fault the stupid crackle of energy.
After getting outside, I take a deep breath of the cold morning air before taking off. Again with humans judging without knowing the whole or at least part of the story. Actually, the male was alright and said that I was cool. Why couldn't anyone understand that I know I'm 'freaky and unnatural'? That's why I make it a mission to avoid mirrors. It wasn't me anyone looking back, just the partial evidence of what I could've been to this day.
My mind swarmed with foul thoughts and caused me to growl deeply. Those humans will never, ever understand the pain I went through and go through to this day just to survive. Never!
A sigh escaped me, I needed to occupy my mind with something else. An idea came to mind. Maybe William has discovered another base or wants me to explain some more things about Jasper. I quickened my speed and turned widely towards the main hangar.
Luck seemed to be on my side, William stood off to the side on the catwalk, talking with Robert and Ironhide. My talons wrapped around the guardrail close to the major. The three quieted down after my arrival and greeted me silently, besides Lennox. "Hey, Azar. What do you need?" he questioned and leaned against the railing.
"Nothing. I'm bored and wanted to see if you have any news about Jasper," I stated the reason on why I was over here, in a place that caused me to feel anxious. I returned the gestures to Robert and Ironhide, respectfully.
William sorrowfully shook his head. "Sorry, no. But," he paused and glanced over to Ironhide, confusing me, "you could start training with Hide. You know, learn the ways of a weapon specialist." His tone sounded like he was poking fun at the brute force standing less than ten feet away from him.
Said bot grunted and crossed his arms, careful of his cannons but made no other sound.
"I bet she would love that, being a mechanophilia after all," a voice I have only heard once before made a snide comment. My gaze locked onto the only other red bot on this base and set a glare on him which seemed to do jack-squat. "I may despise those two twats but I feel the slightest bad f-" he was interrupted by William stating his name. I stopped the human from going on and immediately took to the air.
He didn't take the warning in my eyes. "Actually, you three do belong together. Mindless killers. Worthless." The first words he decided to call me barely left a scratch but being called worthless struck a nerve. Flames alit in my hands within a thought. It seemed like that was the reaction he wanted. "Delinquents, ignorant and barbaric."
Bright, hot fire climbed my arms as heat swelled in my chest alongside protectiveness. The back of my throat burned: the true fire of a dragon wanting to be released, I withheld the action. My eyes pierced his, flames roaring in mine.
A strike of fear raced in his eyes. Luckily for him, he saved any other words he wanted to say. That didn't stop me from speaking my own, in a deep, dangerous, low tone. "I don't give a rat's ass on what you call me, I have heard worse from my mother. But, I will not allow for you to speak that way about Sideswipe and Sunstreaker," I spat, infuriated… for some odd reason.
Flames covered my body from horn to talon; my hair floating effortless with fire coating the strands. I called upon the energy raging chasmicly inside of me and sent swirls of blazing fire to surround the mech. Mirage didn't back down, either brave or stupid. Most likely the latter.
Ironhide decided smartly to back away and stepped off to the side. His human partner and the other soldier followed suit, possibly unable to stand the heat rolling off of my scales.
I controlled the inferno carefully with just my fingers, loving every moment of the fear growing in his eyes. "Was it bravery or fear that compelled you to say those words? I would say the latter by the look in your eyes but I don't blame you. You're right though, I was a mindless killer and barbaric. So all I'm going to leave with you is your dignity. Just for future reference, don't mess with someone who has the power of the sun and ocean in her grasp." With that, I drew in the blazing energy and sent it skyward.
The energy exploded high above everyone before it the ceiling and sprinkled down. Nothing would catch fire or burn anyone but would leave the room pleasantly warm from the winter weather.
Mirage tried to act tough as he scrambled out of the hangar with his tail between his legs. Even Ironhide sniggered and turned to me, a prideful smirk on his features. "Nice job kid, the trinket needed to be taught a lesson." His eyes roamed over my frame and noticing the fire disappearing. "I'll give you credit for how big your bearings are."
Pride surged through me as I understood his message, indigo washing away some of the purple of my scales. Yet, something underlining my emotions made me feel anxious and caused me to flee the hangar without another word.
Heat still blazed behind my heart due to the anger that carried through my veins. Why in any world would I defend the two? I barely knew them and they already had me wrapped around their pinkie.
And neither of them knew it.
To them, I was probably a very confused human/dragon mixture who was starved of affection and craved it. That was the complete truth of all of this. I already showed in the main hangar I would defend them even though neither of them were there. It doesn't matter, a monster doesn't deserve love or compassion from another being.
The shout of my name being called out stopped me dead in my tracks. I observed the grounds below me and spotted the same two I was just thinking about. Tears sprung up to relieve me of some of my overwhelming emotions.
I turned to surge higher, pass the clouds but was paralyzed to only hover. "Azar, could you please come down? We want to talk to you," Sides questioned carefully and glanced at his twin for reassurance.
Something internally silently urged me to follow with his request. Worry for what's to come from his mouth burst through my veins, taking over every ounce of fury. I timidly dove down and hovered hesitantly next to them, ready to bolt.
Sides must have caught on to my nervousness and slowly reached out with his hand. "Are you okay? You look a little freaked out," he pointed out the obvious. My eyes flickered between the two and the ground. I cleared my throat and gently landed on his palm.
"Ye-yeah, just got in a heated conversation with that red tin can in the main hangar. But what was you wanted to talk about?" I changed the subject. Sides held me eye level with him and his brother.
"Mirage?" he ignored my question. "What did that trinket say that got you riled up?" His voice held a hint of anger in it. I waved his questioned off.
"Nothing, just answer my question." I made it clear that I didn't want to explain what happened.
Reluctantly, he listened and deposited me on his brother's shoulder. "Well, we…" Sides glanced as Sunstreaker for reassurance. "We've done a little bit research about human relationships and learned that we were taking things too quickly. So how about we go on another drive/fly? And possibly get to know each other a little more."
My eyes found his as I contemplated on whether or not to. A part of me wanted to take off and fly as far as my wings could take me. The other side was agreeing with him. A nice fly with a snow storm ready to hit us sounded fun. "Sure but I get to choose were we go this time."
"Alright, sounds fine with me. Let's go." The mech transformed. I took to the sky and watched the yellow twin transformed as well. The two of them peeled off towards the entrance with me on their tail, following them close to the ground.
Within moments, the three of us were on the road.