Chapter 30:

It was Martin's turn to sit with Danny right now and actually he didn't feel all too comfortable with it. But in a final analysis no one of them did, for no one of them knew how to react to Danny, to the person he had become since he had been brought to this hospital. He was dependable, he was weak and right now he was barely conscious – altogether he was not the man, who he used to be, and that made it very hard to react in an appropriate way.

Danny was sleeping right now, but he wasn't comfortable – one could see that. It seemed like he was having a bad dream, his face distorted and shifting slightly in his bed, like he tried to escape from someone or something. His breathing quick and shallow.

All of a sudden he started to moan, words forming in his sleep, not understandable at first, but getting more clearly every time Danny repeated them until they were audible in the room, audible to Martin.

„Let go of me!"

He had no idea what Danny was talking about, had no idea what he was thinking that was going on around him. Martin hadn't tried to hurt him, at least he believed he hadn't done anything that would inflict any pain to his co-worker. He was most probably dreaming about the events that had caused his injuries and Martin tried to soothe his sleep.

„Danny – calm down, it's okay. No one's gonna hurt you..."

He really didn't know if he was doing any good or if he was just making it worse by what he said. Something was definitely wrong, but he couldn't put a finger on what it was. He simply just wished to help Danny in some way, but he lacked of enough knowledge about Danny's condition – especially his psychological one, to really help him.

He did the one thing he could think of, the one thing he thought would be right to help him, lessen his co-workers fear and gently touched him by the arm, hoping to reach him and show him his support. The reaction was immediate and unlike anything Martin had expected.

Danny winced, trying to move away from Martin as far as he could, shifting in the hospital bed, his eyes suddenly widening with terror. He reached for his hand, shoving it away roughly, before he screamed at him – a hoarse, desperate plea for help.

"Don't touch me! Let go of me! Leave me alone!"

Martin wasn't sure if Danny was even aware of what he was saying, if he really meant it that way, although his reaction had caused Martin to wince and take the hand back for the moment. Unfortunately he believed that Danny was simply having a bad dream, reliving the events of his traumatizing assault. Little did he know of the real reason for Danny's reaction.

His co-worker's condition, the terror in his eyes, the quickened breathing and rapid heartbeat dictated Martin to do something to help him, soothe him. He took a step back to the bed and reached out a hand for a second time, gently touching Danny again.

"It's okay, Danny – it's okay. You're safe, you're in hospital, remember. No one's gonna hurt you."

Danny's reaction however left Martin deeply concerned. He started to sob, tears streaming down his face and completely unable to control his emotions. He still tried to get away from the hand touching him and his pain-ridden, whispered words were a silent plea for mercy.

"Please, don't do this. Let me go, please let me go. Don't hurt me."

Martin took his hand away, taking a step backwards from the bed and not knowing what to do. Talking to Danny hadn't helped and touching him had caused an even worse reaction. He had no idea how to react to this for he did not know what he had done wrong before. But he was absolutely taken aback by what he was forced to experience.

He had never seen Danny crying before – he had been angry, he had been sad or concerned and at times even emotionally attached while they had been working together, but he had never seen him like this. He hadn't even been able to imagine what it would be like to see the fellow agent cry.

He had that understanding that through the time of working together he had come to know Danny – at least up to a certain point. He was a self-assured person, cocky, even annoying at times, but this had nothing to do with the person, Martin had experienced. Whatever it was that had caused Danny's reaction – it must have been deeply, deeply traumatizing, this much he did know.

A nurse entered the room right now, rushing past him and shooting him a reproachful look, but not saying anything. Obviously she had been guarding Danny's vitals, seeing his breathing and heartbeat quicken and had come here to check on him. She was holding a syringe in one of her hands, which's content she injected to one of the IV lines.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay. You're in hospital – you remember? You are safe. It's going to be better in a moment. Just hold on. It will be alright, just try to calm down."

Martin realized that she held a quite great distance for the fact that she was trying to calm Danny. She did not touch him, not letting him know she was present. The syringe's content however - most definitely some form of sedative - in combination with the nurse's calming words, was helping. Danny seemed to relax. Finally the young woman addressed Martin in an angry tone.

"What happened!"

"I,.., I don't know. He yelled at me for no apparent reason..."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, goddamn it!"

"You must have done something otherwise he wouldn't have reacted like that. Tell me exactly what happened."

"He was crying out in his sleep and I tried to calm him, talked to him but that didn't work. So I touched him by his arm to let him know he wasn't alone and all of a sudden he started yelling at me."

The look on the nurse's face – contorted in anger and reproach just moments ago – changed into a sympathetic, sad expression. Obviously he had managed to convince her that he hadn't done anything wrong, but he couldn't get rid of the impression that there was something else about her reaction, something she knew that he wasn't aware of.

"You didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry I attacked you. Just don't touch him, okay?"

"Okay."

But it wasn't okay, it definitely wasn't okay. Not for Martin and even more not for Danny. Whatever the nurse knew about his co-worker's condition, it was obviously dreadful enough to cause Danny such nightmares and to not enable the nurse to tell him what was going on, but simply ask him to do what she wanted him to.

He wasn't sure if he had a right to know anyway. Of course he knew Danny, but apart from working with him he didn't know much of a thing about him. He had no right to invade his privacy like that – hell, actually he didn't even have the right to sit by his bed right now. He was not a family member.

But still – the nurse's reactions and Danny's fear had left him uncomfortable and thoughtful. He was trying to imagine what it must've felt like for Danny – being all alone, not knowing if he would survive, if the pain would ever end again and not being able to do anything for his own protection. He couldn't – he simply couldn't imagine a situation like that.

It was a miracle, Danny was still as sane as he seemed after this whole ordeal. A nightmare seemed the slightest reaction to what had happened to him – body and soul. Actually he had been stronger than anyone had ever believed. Even his doctor in charge hadn't been sure of his recovery.

However that didn't make his situation – right now – any better. It simply wasn't fair, this hadn't been supposed to happen and it most definitely could have been avoided. But it was too late for these thoughts now, too late and not even futile for one second to think about it. They couldn't change what had happened – no matter how hard they were thinking about it,

over and over again – they only could try to cope with it.