Agony exploded from my sternum. I shot awake as I struggled to breath and felt myself slipping off the branch. My claws scrambled for purchase but found none. The bark scrapped at my scales as I fell and slammed into another branch.
Oh my gods. It felt like someone rammed a spear in my chest and shove their hand to tear out the organ there. Hundreds of pounds of rocks sat fully on top of me, forcing every breath to be a struggle. I took the moment that was given to try and grab at the newly found limb. As if all of my limbs were jelly, they failed to listen. I slipped from the branch, missed others, and slammed into the gravel driveway. My breath was forced out as I lied there, groaning from landing on my wings.
White shots of pain radiated from my back and where my wings connected there. Sharp, small rocks dug painfully into my scales. My body refused to move, nothing listening to what I wanted. Something was horribly wrong. I worried completely about the twins, hoping they were alright.
Close to me, I heard the familiar sound of a Cybertronian transforming. Ironhide appeared in my line of sight, leaning over me. His hands awkwardly reaching out to me before pulling back. "Azar? Azar! What happened?" Hide questioned and went to grab at me again but stopped himself short; his movements unsure on what to do. I was glad he didn't try to move me.
My lungs wheezed trying to get oxygen into them. Black dots filter into my sight. "T-twins," I gasped and desperately needed them. Right now. At that very moment. It was all I could think about, including their safety. His frame froze at the words and he cursed under his breath. The mech carefully scoped me up and transformed around me. I was laid in the back, in an uncomfortable position due to how small of cabin he has.
"I'm going to take you to Ratchet," he stated and begun to move, awkwardness in his voice. I barely had the strength to talk so instead, a groan answered him instead. Both of my hands shakily curled above the aching organ. What's wrong with the twins? Were they hurt? Oh, I was going to kill that goddamn, smug red mech for touching what's mine.
With the lack of air getting to important organs, my sight and conscious faded in and out. My hearing failing, white noise drowning all that I could hear; until I could no longer stay with the land of the living and passed out.
It felt like the first time I tried to shapeshift. All of the atoms around where the connection sat were constantly moving, pulling, tearing apart then being put back together; before it restarted all over, again and again. And I thought the first shift was bad. This… this was way worse, horribly worse.
Even in the dream world, this affected me here. Around me, darkness surrounds my floating form. Every pulse of my heart, scary looking veins of red appeared. They looked like cracks, as if this world was slowing falling apart, not in a good way. My body twitching with each throb; pain was the thing I could truly feel, it washed everything else away. Even the twins' emotions over the bond were lost to the darkness.
Time passed at an unknown pass and the pain grew worse. Weren't we going towards the twins? Wasn't the lessening distance supposed to fix it? That's why I was in this position! Or at least I think I'm still with Ironhide. All I know is he was trying to get me to Ratchet.
A screamed ripped at my throat. But not a noise was made. The thick darkness swallowed it whole, only causing my ears to ring from the deafening mixing in with the rest and becoming lost. What was happening?!
Panic flared in my veins. Something was holding me, I couldn't move and struggled against the inky blackness around. Instinct drove me to move, to fight, to survive. An urgent need to be with the twins filled me, only feeding into my primal instincts more. The angry red cracks pulse quicker with my heart and breathing. Their color shifted with what I was feeling, a mixture of blue and red.
Get me out of here! The heavy and near solid substance around me continued to thicken. Whatever it was had changed from a gaseous form to liquid. Dark water filled my lungs, burning and freezing me from the inside and outside. I fought harder, panicking even worse to the point this had be the nastiest anxiety attack I've ever had. Every nerve firing off, sending energy throughout my entire body for an attempt to free myself.
Pain from the outside world started in this strange place. I choked on my breath and water filling my lungs. They burned and throbbed for needed oxygen. Everything ached with no end in sight or mind.
The longer I was in here, it just got worse, somehow, someway. In the back of my mid though, it screamed at me to get to the twins. Which only caused me worry even more about them. Something must have gone wrong while we were gone. That had to be the cause of my situation. Gods, this was such a bad idea to leave.
Another scream turned roar was swallowed up without a chance. Whatever the liquid around me was had completely filled my lungs to full capacity. The thing is, I didn't feel like I was suffocating and stopped struggling all together. My energy had been depleted afterwards and left me to drift here beyond exhausted.
It hurt to move in this realm. The thing that was holding me down had stopped after I did. Struggling wasn't getting me anywhere and was pointless. Wherever I was, there wasn't any escape. They had me.
A scary thought came to mind: Jasper had me somehow. Internally, I wanted to start fighting again but I didn't have the strength to do that. Jasper couldn't have gotten pass Ironhide. Right? He's a big, burly mech and seems like a near unstoppable force… like me. So it was possible. Oh, Ironhide, please, please don't let me be with Jasper. Or I swear, I'm going to seriously hurt you in one way or another.
If I make it out of here.
Wherever is here.
What's going on?
In here, it was hard to tell time. To me, it felt like years went by, but at the same time, it's only been minutes. Everything felt off, wrong, this isn't where I was meant to be; the bond demanding something out of that I couldn't do in this predicament: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. I floated in the inky blackness, letting it carry my weight. My will to fight had left me, so did any strength.
This connection was much stronger than I could ever imagine. If it could do this to me, I was in so much trouble. It controlled most of my thoughts, ordering me to do everything in my power to go to the two. But with my situation, I couldn't. It was the one causing this yet it wanted me to fight against in one way to side with the other, ridiculous and stupid.
Cold washed over me, cooling the overwhelming heat swelling in my chest. It gave me a few moments of easy breathing as it lifted most of the burdensome weight off of me. This completely caught me off guard, yet I wasn't going to let this moment of tranquility pass by without taking advantage of it. But the darkness still had its grasp on me so there was nothing, movement wise, I could do. I sighed in relief, still being forced to breath in some sort of liquid. One thing down, other's to take care of.
Garbled voice could be heard through the substance. The white noise falling away to let in those noises. Hope surged through me but fear trickled in as well. If my idea from before was correct… maybe it was best to stay here.
Timidly and tiredly, I fought against my liquid bonds to reach for wherever the surface was. This time, it felt easier to move through. More hope swirled deep inside of me. This could be my chance to get out of this Hellhole. The more I moved, the thinner it became. It was loosening!
With this new found hope, I frantically swam until oxygen filled my lungs. I gasped harshly in reaction and started to cough, tearing at my throat. Light blinded me but nothing held me down, that was for sure. Achingly, I sat up to lean back heavily on my arms and survey the surrounding area.
This… this was the Med. Bay! We made it! It was at least a blocked off part which a weird looking curtain protected others from looking in. Instead of being up on my perch, the medic had put me on a human cot on top of a Cybertronian sized metal bed in one of the corners. My eyes finally adjusted from the darkness to the light took in where I was.
Red and yellow caught my attention. My gaze snapped over to the sight. The twins! The bond reacted with joy and relief at the sight. But they were asleep on Cybertronian berths. Why? There weren't any injuries adorning their frames. So were they here? Worry started to wash away the relief I felt earlier. They had to be okay.
I went to take a step towards them but crumbled to the floor. "Ow! What the…?" The dream realm definitely affected me out here. All of my muscles ached, not in the good way.
Then a sudden sharp, stinging pain shot through my chest. I choked on a gasp and slapped a hand against the origin. Involuntarily, tears welled and threatened to fall. A growl rumbled deeply inside of me, anger slowly building up due to this. It made realize dull ache within my chest.
An inner instinct came to me. I shakily stood up and gazed over to where the twins were. At the moment, my wings weren't the most reliable due to their weakened state. The distance between the table I was on and the berth that Sunstreaker was on didn't seem too terribly bad.
There weren't any other choices to get over there but that instinct commanded me. I took many steps back before rushing forward and leaping as far as possible. Instinctively, my wings weakly flapped to help propel me higher.
My body slammed into the metal edge. All of the oxygen in my lunges was pushed out forcefully. I hung there for a moment to regain some air before scrambling to on the safe side. Pain pulsed from my newly bruised ribs. Ugh, that was a horrible idea… but it worked.
Everything swirled, nearly dragging me off of the platform and crashing into the concrete below. With a meager body, I stumbled over to the golden bot. Not a scratch adorn his frame. Nothing seemed out of the norm with him. The bond itself slightly calming at the small amount of space between us now. Why was he here? Why were they both here? I swear if they are hurt, I'm killing someone. Stupidly and not entirely thinking properly, I placed my hand on his thigh and received one of the worse shocks in my entire life.
A scream wanted to tear out of my throat but it was caught off short. I crumbled to my knees and nearly dug five sharp claws in the connections origin; I reframed myself from doing so. The ache intensified. Tears splattered the metal below, almost the only other sound in here. Their humming sparks covered most of the noises. It smoothed me to a degree and told me they were alive. I wanted to desperately to get up and check on his twin to ensure they were both okay but my body refused. So instead, I gave in and laid there next to the yellow bot. Why did everything hurt?
Noise of metal rudely awoke me from a dreamless sleep. All of muscles continued to hurt. In fact, they felt worse. The ache where the connection originated from had lessened a small degree. The heel of my hand subconsciously rubbed at the area. Electricity transferred between the two, drawing a whimper from me.
The sound had stopped, as if paused. Something behind the curtain moved. My muscles tensed this time, ready for anything to attack. Even in a weakened state, I wasn't going to let anything hurt the twins. They were in a vulnerable state; it was my duty to protect them from harm.
A figure could be seen moving closer to us. I couldn't help the growl rumbling in my chest. An urge to protect my twins surged through me. A gun metal gray hand pulled back the curtain. Ratchet's bright, neon yellow form appeared. I immediately relaxed with a huge sigh, relieved it wasn't someone or something that meant harm.
Ratchet swiftly rushed over to me and scooped me up. "Oh, thank Primus," he grumbled and seemed relieved. "What do you think you're doing?! I leave for five kliks and that's when you decided to move."
When he tried to move me away from the twins, I snarled threatening and dug my claws into his hand. To continue on the act that felt like instinct, my wings shakily unfurled to make myself look bigger. These actions froze him from moving, Ratchet looking unsure of what I was doing. "Azar, what do you think you are doing?"
"Twins. Mine," I growled and bared my long canines at him; voice dry from the lack of water. That didn't stop me from voicing a threat if need be. Don't take me away from what's mine.
Realization hit him. "Okay, I'll put you next to them but don't touch them. The build up from the connection is dangerously high." He followed through with what he said and carefully set me between the two. I could feel the static electricity in the air and nearly suffocated in it.
Once he backed off, I loosened up and realized my actions. The instinct to protect fell away as quickly as it came. What the heck?! What was happening to me? Why did I act that way? My gaze made its way up to the bot. "I am so sorry, Ratchet. I-I don't know, know what came over me," I apologized, something not like me, and stared down at my hands.
A gentle smile graced his lips. The gesture slightly easing my anxious and worried emotions. "It's alright. After being away from the twins for a long distance, I understand. I made… some miscalculations about that trip. I suggest from now on, you stay within a mile of the twins at all times." I had no thoughts about freely doing that again. Someone would have to forcefully drag me away, if they didn't die by my hand first. A smirk showed off one of my fangs at the thought.
"Yeah, probably smart…" I glanced between the two, worried about them. "Are they okay?"
He nodded his head, a little hesitant. "Yeah, mostly. Miles after you left, they were feeling uncomfortable. But they reassured me were fine… Until they weren't. At the same time, Ironhide contacted me of your situation. Then everything went downhill from there." I cringed inwardly and bunched up my shoulders.
"When you got here, your vitals were all over the place. Your body temperature was ranging from burning hot to freezing cold. I knew I couldn't immediately have you touching the twins after no contact for two days. But being near them did help even both of your vitals," he explained what had happened.
"I can say is never again. Wherever I go, they are coming with. Even if I drag have to them to where I go and vice versa ," I stated and picked at random spot on my leg. Guilt trickled into the pot of emotions as I sat there. I felt bad for putting those two in this situation. It was always me fucking something up. Always.
Ratchet chuckled in agreement. "Yeah, they're going to be feeling the same way." The mech paused to glance behind him and sighed. "I wish there was some more information about your situation. All we can really do now is be careful. Thankful, Lennox didn't see Ironhide rush you here or else it would be harder to explain to him." It felt like everyday it was getting harder to keep this away from. But I understood why Ratchet wants to do it. Humans are ones not to accept change as easily, or things out of their norm; including two partners and being in a relationship with an alien species.
Then it hit me, I never got to say goodbye to Anna. My entire mood dropped even lower and tears so desperately wanted to fall once more. "Right, thankfully." I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh, it just came out that way.
He reeled his head back, taking off guard at the tone of my voice. The medic opened to say something but stopped himself short and scoffed. "Lennox will be arriving within ten minutes. I've already told him a lie that your injuries were bothering you so you came back. But he's not happy." He didn't need to tell me why the man was irritated, I already knew. I wasn't anywhere near the mood to deal with him but we could only push him away for so long. That man has a short temper and likes to yell, a lot.
To be honest, that lie was horrible. The wounds that could be seen physically have already healed, mostly. Underneath my scales though, moving too much did cause them ache but nothing I couldn't handle. "Alright. Thank you, Ratchet."
The medic dipped his head before taking his leave and closing the curtain behind him. Yet, I could still listen to him move about the Med. Bay, doing his normal mid-day chores.
I heaved a massive sigh and flopped back on the metal slab. The static between the three of us had lessened but the dull ache in the center of my chest still was present; my ribs felt about the same, after ramming them full weight against the side of the bed. If only I knew touching Sunstreaker was bad idea only caused me even more pain. Everything already hurt, why did it need to be worse?
It wasn't even ten minutes when angry steps of a human stomped into the Medical Bay. Great, he was here. Early too. I didn't have the strength to get up, let alone deal with him after what I just went through. Tomorrow? Tomorrow, yeah that sounds good.
"Where is she?!" his voice rung out. "I had to deal with a crying and screaming child this morning, Ratchet. I'm not pleased or in the mood for games." I flinched at his words, knowing it was me who caused the kid to be upset.
"Not here, Lennox. I have no clue where she is. I don't keep track of her twenty-four seven," the mech bit back, drawing a smirk to appear on my face. Gettem, gettem Ratch.
Said man growled, pathetically I must say. "Well, I need to have a few choice words with her. Anna is extremely upset about her abandoning her." My eyes narrowed dangerously. If only the soldier could see me, he would be running for the hills. I did not abandon her. If it was up to me, I would've stayed but the connection had better ideas.
Ratchet scoffed bitterly. "She did not abandon Annabelle and you know this. Azar's injuries were irritating her so she came to me like she's supposed to. You should feel lucky that she has enough trust in someone on this base." I agreed with him.
Most of the Autobots that I conversed with I could somewhat trust. Would I ever put my life in their hands? Hell no. Not even the twins. But that wasn't their fault. My life was in someone's hands for ten years, and that person sure destroyed it.
William flapped his mouth by the sounds of it, trying to find words. "W-whatever. If you see her, tell her we need to talk… please." With that, he left, still angered of my actions. If only he knew. But I understood where Ratchet was coming from. It was safer for all of us to keep this in shadows. Humans don't easily accept the unknown. I knew this from personal experience.
The bot groaned and sounded irritated. "I swear, you humans…" he trailed off.
"Hey! Don't group me with them. I ain't human anymore," I defended and weakly sat up. "Hey, Ratchet. How long is this going to affect me-er I should say us?" All three of us were in a vulnerable state. Even though I trusted Ratchet, my instincts and possessive side wouldn't ease up.
"That… that I don't know. One of the twelve did have the same thing happen to them but it was a test and not as long as yours was. Their affects were also much milder. For the twins, I would think they would online by the end of the cycle," he reassured and sounded like he went back to whatever he was working on.
I eased myself to lay between the two once more. Their sparks hummed loudly, compared to the noises going on outside. The static had suppressed a little and helped relax my muscles some.
Nausea washed over me, stomach twisting. My eyes clenched as the now familiar feeling. This is the third time this same scenario has happened. I curled up more into a ball and used my hands to hold the back of my head, folding me into a fetal position. Now to only wait for it to pass.
Danger still lurked around every corner. And this battle I fought was nowhere near over. Worse of all, we still have a Jasper base to go after. I didn't feel excited or ready to jump into action this time. Last battle had scarred me in a sense.
William does know of my kill count but that's different compared to me actually doing the act. No matter how hard I try, I can't run away from the facts. Jasper created me to be a killer, chaos creator. Anywhere I go to leave that behind me, it continues to follow and catch up. Every. Single. Time.
When will this end? I want this to end, so badly. Or at least not in way I use to think about. Cold, lifeless, and gone.