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Stargazers

Chapter Thirteen

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Tap, tap, tap…

He lay on the floor, one arm bent behind his head. His eyes were fixed on the wagon's ceiling, right arm down at his side, index finger tapping the floor next to him.

Zacks didn't know what to do with himself.

He was, for one of the very few times in his life, anxious. And he hadn't the faintest idea what to do about it. He stopped tapping the floor and rolled over on his side, frowning at himself. He really should be doing something productive. Or going to sleep, either one, really; but he knew the second option wouldn't be happening, partially because he wanted to wait up for Cloud, and partially because he just wouldn't be able to sleep if he tried. It had gotten past late some time ago, but he had expected that. He vaguely wondered if she'd say anything about him. Better not make me sound bad. He stood up and stretched his arms above his head, deciding laying down was getting old. He wasn't very good at waiting. Why was he so anxious, anyway? Because if she doesn't get through to him, you're out of cards to play. …Pah.

He was never out of cards.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head as he heard the light patter of raindrops starting to fall on the outside of the wagon. Considering how late it already was, and since it had just started raining, there was a good chance Cloud wouldn't be coming back tonight. He roughly plopped himself back down on the floor against the wall, leaning his head back to rest against the side of the wagon. He smiled as his thoughts wandered back to earlier that day, when he had spotted Aerith's wagon and trotted over, rapping on its side.

"Aerith, my beautiful lady, surely you aren't out in my time of need?" He called loudly, listening for movement inside. He was soon greeted by the pink cloth over the half-gate being swept back by a delicate hand, the other set firmly on the owner's hip.

"Well," the green-eyed girl's lips formed a playful smile, "If it isn't some mangy tomcat yowling at my door…"

Zacks scoffed, stretching his arms up and behind his head, "You're description's a little off, my dear- 'sexy' applies far better than 'mangy'…"

"My, my," Aerith giggled, "In that case, I'd be quite the fool to turn him away, now wouldn't I…?" She lightly pushed the gate open as she turned around, disappearing into the wagon. Zacks grinned, needing no further invitation.

He had proceeded to tell her all about his current situation regarding a certain spiky-haired blonde boy- everything he knew, everything he guessed at, and how he was confusing himself with what to do about it. He wanted didn't want to keep Cloud from being his own person, but Hojo was such a…

"Stupid, son-of-a-bitch alchemist."

"Mm." Aerith listened, a bemused smile forming on her face. This was certainly more interesting than she had expected.

Zacks caught the look and paused, "…Just what are you smiling like that for?

"…Because I've just realized something you haven't, you silly, silly man."

"Oh?" He raised a brow, "And just what would that be?"

She waved a hand, "We'll get to it, we'll get to it. First off, you need to realize just how your moral confusion is really coming into play. You're hitting two birds with one stone, Zacks."

Zacks quirked a brow, "…Say what now?"

"Think about it. You're just so concerned with one benefit that you're having trouble seeing the other."

Zacks lifted a hand to rub his temple, "You're gonna have to walk me through this one…"

"…Hojo's a very cold, bitter person, and anyone trying to follow in his footsteps is going to be very cold and bitter themselves. Cloud's at a young age, doesn't know much about the world since until recently he didn't know anything other than his own back yard, and he's just experienced a tragedy that couldn't possibly leave him in a very stable mind set. He's extraordinarily vulnerable, obviously. Hojo's the sort of person to take advantage of someone like that, if it were for his own benefit- you saw burn marks on the boy's hands to attest to it. Being near Hojo is bad for both Cloud's mental and physical health, and if left alone could potentially destroy any happy future he might have otherwise had. I don't see anything wrong with intervening under such circumstances- in fact, I'd say it's usually the sort of thing you'd do for even a total stranger."

Zacks considered that, and found it was true- it did sound like something he would do, even for someone he didn't know. He frowned. So why had he gotten himself so confused?

"Cloud, however, is not a stranger, and this is where you confused yourself. You like this boy, you like the parts that you see starting to fade away or be buried under ugly emotions. And you hate Hojo. This considered, you had a personal stake in this because you like Cloud better as the boy you've been getting to know, as opposed to the person he seems to be changing into. So, stopping these changes has two benefits- one for Cloud's well being, and the other for your own satisfaction."

"…Right." Zacks nodded. It was so simple, he wasn't sure how he had gotten his brain all mucked up over it. He looked over at Aerith to see her smiling rather contently, and narrowed his eyes, "Alright, now it's time to tell me just what you were smiling your pretty little head off about earlier."

"…You liiiike him."

Zacks raised a curious brow, "Maybe. So?"

"You really like him."

He studied her, not sure where she was going- especially with that ridiculous smile she was wearing. "…If you mean in that sort of way, then maybe, yeah- I mean, he is easy on the eyes… So?"

Aerith chuckled to herself, shaking her head, "No, no, you still don't get it. Allow me to explain…"

"By all means…" He vaguely wondered if she'd been into something other than tea…

"As I said, there are two benefits in this. The reason you were so confused is because the more you thought about it, the more you saw the benefit to yourself and not the other. So, obviously, you're starting to like this boy enough that you failed to see it benefited both of you over the fear of being selfish."

"Ah…"

"Considering how unusual it is for you to get confused, you must really like him…in more than a 'He seems nice and I want to get into his pants' sort of way…"

Zacks studied her a moment, "Either you're crazy, you're trying to play matchmaker with me and someone you haven't even met yet, or you're crazy." Aerith just continued to smile, as if waiting. "…But you have a point." He regretted the words immediately as Aerith made one of those strange girl noises and clapped her hands together. "Hey, don't go getting yourself all excited- besides, it's not like I've known him that long…" He trailed off and decided not to bother; she wasn't listening anyway. "Alright, alright, look- back to being serious, okay?"

"You think I'm not being serious?" She grinned.

"No, I know you are, which makes it scarier. But back to the situation at hand; I don't know if it would be the best thing in the world for me to talk to him. I mean, if I got confused with my motives, there's no way in hell he's gonna figure it out. He'll think anything I say is because I hate Hojo-"

"Which is true, so it's a reasonable assumption."

"True, yes, but-"

"But, intervention needs to happen regardless and you want me to do it."

"Well…"

"Of course I will!"

"…" Zacks studied her a moment.

"Hm…?"

"You seem entirely too chipper about this."

"Well, I simply must meet him now that I know the circumstances…"

He laughed, shaking his head, "You're really somethin' else, you know that?"

They had continued to poke fun at each other while catching up on how the other was doing, and plotting out how they were going to stick Cloud alone with Aerith. So now, he sat alone in the dark wagon, waiting. The sound of the rain outside grew louder as it starting coming down harder. With a sigh, Zacks moved over to where his bedroll was and flopped down, rolling over on his side. At least it was raining; if there had been total silence, he'd probably be going out of his mind. Although, now that it's pouring, there's pretty much no way Cloud's coming back until morning, he thought to himself. The rain sounded like it didn't plan on residing anytime soon.

Then he heard movement from outside the wagon's, and a slight swish as the cloth above the half-gate was pulled back. Ooor maybe not- he sat up to see Cloud's silhouette stepping inside, and scrambled to light a small lantern before turning to look at the boy, sopping wet with rain water. "Cloud!"

Cloud blinked, pulling aside a dripping lock of hair obscuring his vision, "…Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up…"

"Nah, I couldn't sleep. So, how'd it go?"

Cloud raised a brow, playing ignorant, "…How'd what go?"

"Er…" Zacks paused, scratching the back of his head, "…Nothing."

Cloud turned around, taking off his wet cloak and hanging it near the entrance. He turned around to see Zacks had lain back down, turned away. He paused, considering- he could just leave it go like that and get some sleep like he should, but… It almost seemed like he was waiting up, didn't it? His features softened as he watched the dark-haired man's back, and he sighed- he wasn't that tired anyway. "...You're really bad at pretending you didn't set something up, you know that?" He commented placing his hands on his hips.

Zacks rolled over with a grin plastered across his face "Hey, what can I say? So?" he sat up again, "How'd it go?"

"Well…fine, I guess," Cloud paused, considering, before responding in a softer voice, "…She's really nice, isn't she?"

Zacks smiled, "Yeah, she sure is." He frowned as he noticed Cloud's clothes had gotten wet as well- it must have soaked right through his cloak. "Crimity, look at yourself- you're soaking wet! The hell were you doing out there?" He got up and started rummaging around for a towel, "You should've run since it's coming down so hard…"

Cloud silently watched him go, not so concerned about his less-than-dry state. "Actually…" He muttered to himself, glancing towards the entrance, "It felt kind of nice…"

"Whassat?" Zacks paused in his towel-searching to look at him.

"The rain. It felt kind of nice. It's not a cold night, so…"

Zacks blinked, before looking towards the wagon's entrance himself, "…That so…?"

"…Yeah."

"Huh. Well, then…" Zacks got up, snatching the lantern with one hand while heading over towards the half-gate.

Cloud watched, confused, as he pulled back the cloth, seemingly ready to head out, "What're you-"

"What're you doin'? I'm going out to play in the rain," he swung the half-gate open, stepping outside and setting the lantern on the ground just underneath the wagon. He held the half-gate open expectantly.

Cloud looked at him like he was crazy, considering what time it was and that they should really get some sleep before they needed to be conscious. …Then again… He reconsidered, pointlessly snatching his wet cloak from where it hung near the entrance, …Crazy isn't so bad…

Zacks shut the gate as Cloud hopped out behind him, stretching his arms up and walking out and away from the cabin, staying within the circle of light from the lantern. "Not bad, not bad!" He raised his voice a bit over the sound of the downpour, throwing Cloud a grin over his shoulder.

Cloud was trying to get over the incredulous fact that he was back out here again, and this time with someone else, nonetheless. But it was definitely nice. And he hadn't really felt ready to call it a night, anyway.

Zacks kicked at the ground a bit, testing the muck it was quickly becoming, "You know, this would be the perfect opportunity to do some mud wrestling…"

Cloud shot him a look, and Zacks grinned but shut up. He couldn't help that one. The glow from the lantern highlighted the movement of the rain hitting the pools of water collecting on the muddy ground, making them seem to spark to life with the orange light.

"You know… the only thing that could make this better would be if it was a thunderstorm. Some intense flashes, powerful rumbling… Yeah, that would do the trick."

Cloud looked over at the other man, and while he enjoyed the serenity of the simple hiss of the heavy rain, found himself agreeing a thunderstorm would have been nice. He studied the famous swordsman a moment as they stood there being pelted by the rain, and the thought occurred to him that Zacks was much like a thunderstorm. Somehow, they shared the same intensity.

"…It must be contagious."

"What's that?" Zacks questioned as he looked over at the boy, Cloud looking away as if to hide his expression.

"Insanity. …Heh," He placed a hand on his forehead, "…Thanks to you, I think I've completely lost my mind." He tilted his head upwards, the rain hitting his already wet hair and pushing his bangs further into his face, and smiled bemusedly up at the black sky before letting his hand slip back down to his side.

It was dark, but Zacks had noticed, when Cloud looked away, that his eyes were a bit redder than normal. He suspected, as he studied the soaked blonde facing the sky, that not quite all the water running down his face was from the rain. And he decided, as he continued to stare at the boy, that Cloud was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

So he resisted the immediate desire to grab the boy and hug him tightly to his chest, in favor of not breaking the serenity of the scene, and instead, responded with a quiet 'yeah' that was almost lost amongst the sound of the falling rain.

Then he decided he had never been very good at resisting sudden inclinations anyway.

Cloud froze, tensing as felt the strong arms suddenly wrap around him, and attempted to pull away only to feel the hold tighten, tugging him closer and forcibly keeping him in place. Cloud decided not to struggle, after that. He was feeling worn down both physically and emotionally, and aside from one stubborn side trying to convince him to pull away from the intimate embrace, he just didn't have the will for it. He tried to convince himself to relax partially, feeling Zacks' chest rise and fall, and feeling a bit of warmth even through their water soaked clothes.

Zacks still hadn't said a word. He didn't need to.

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Cloud had been doing all right thus far. After insisting on getting up at his usual hour to avoid setting himself permanently off schedule, and despite Zacks- who had opted for sleeping in at least a little late- telling him he was crazy, he had been doing all right. Tired was an understatement, surely; his fatigue-heavy eyelids begged to fall and his hair seemed to stick out in even more off angles than usual. He had, however, made it through getting up, getting food, and getting to Hojo's wagon on time as expected. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about being there now, but was too tired to give it serious consideration. He made it through the note-copying without dilemma- his eyes were sore, sure, but it wasn't anything he couldn't shake off.

Now that they had moved on to practicing casting, however, it was another story. Cloud had been pretty good at pretending to be as normal and on the ball as always, or at least he had thought so. But the fatigue cost from using magic was hitting him far harder, far sooner than usual.

"You aren't concentrating enough. Do it again."

The exercise consisted of a plain table, the surface of which Hojo would place an assortment of numbered jars, randomly placed. The idea was that Cloud would throw ice magic accurately enough to make whichever jar Hojo asked crack. Any that he missed would be left on the table when he had finished attempting to crack them all, and he was to target these with lightning. The exercise was simple enough, but required a lot of concentration to aim with the right amount of power concentrated into small enough of an area to crack the jar without breaking it and with out damaging the surrounding jars. Cloud had developed a hand at controlling the amount of magic and its concentration, probably thanks to the early focusing on trying to make an orb of lightning as powerful yet compact as Zacks could. Once he had gotten used to what the jars needed, that part had been easy. Hojo had gradually introduced jars with slight variations in size and shape, which after minimal struggle, Cloud had also gotten used to accounting for. The problem was with aiming, more often than not. Concentrating on throwing magic into a singular spot was very difficult, even if a target wasn't specified. This, on top of compacting the right amount of magic the right way, sometimes left his aim just short enough to miss the jar, and the lightening exercise would follow to break the jars remaining.

At the moment, he wasn't performing up to par with his usual standards, and Hojo had apparently noticed, asking Cloud to aim for the same jar again instead of saving it for when he used lightning.

Don't screw up, don't screw up, don't screw up… If he missed again, Hojo'd have his head. He focused on calling the magic up towards his palm, where he released it, and centered the jar in his mind. He felt as though he was getting towards his limit, and though he knew it was only misinterpreted fatigue from his lack of sleep, he still had to put in more effort to call up less magic. Don't screw up, focus… His palm shot forward, releasing the magic he had been holding at the jar. And his face paled.

He hadn't missed, that was for sure. But instead of making the jar crack, it had shattered completely into a million little pieces. Shit!

He knew what'd he'd done wrong immediately- he'd misjudged how much magic he was pulling forth because of how tired he was; he'd underestimated his current reserves. He looked at Hojo; the man did not look happy. He was scrutinizing Cloud with narrowed eyes from behind those little spectacles.

"…What, Cloud, seems to be the problem?"

"…I'm sorry, I mis-"

"It is apparent that throughout this session, not only has no progress been made, but you seem, in fact, to be getting worse. Judging by your reactions, you are not doing this on purpose. So, then, what precisely is the problem?"

"…I just didn't get much rest last night, sir."

"…I see." Hojo began walking toward him, and Cloud felt the need to wither away, though he steeled himself not to show it. "You do realize you are useless as a subject under such conditions, don't you?"

"Yes, sir-"

"It has wasted both of our time to participate in such a practice where no progress is to be made."

"I understand-" Cloud took a step back and Hojo grabbed at his wrist, causing him to flinch.

"I doubt that, boy," Hojo stated, holding fast when Cloud attempted to jerk his wrist away. "Our progress here is of the utmost importance- once a day is missed, it is impossible to make up for the next time because of the limit of your magic reserves. There is far too much to do and far too little time to do it. When we reach our destination at Lavitia there won't be any extra time on our hands."

Hojo paused then, as though realizing he wasn't handling himself properly, and released Cloud, who quickly took several steps back. The two eyed each other for a moment in silence.

"…I apologize." Cloud replied rather plainly, and another moment of somewhat awkward silence followed before the alchemist spoke again.

"…Study the last book I gave you, and practice on your own after you've had proper rest." Hojo turned away, "You can go, there's nothing more we can accomplish here."

Cloud was more than happy to oblige.

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"Cloud? Hey, wakey wakey…"

Cloud felt the hand lightly rocking his shoulder and jolted upright, blinking his eyes open as he saw Zacks in front of him.

"You feeling more awake now?"

"…Yeah." He scootched back slightly to break their proximity. It was a bit awkward with the other man after that hug last night in the rain. Or at least, awkward for Cloud- it didn't seem to make a difference to Zacks. If anything, he was more chipper than usual. Cloud glanced around and vaguely wondered how long he'd been napping, "…I'm going to have trouble falling asleep tonight, aren't I?"

"Not so much. Just gotta make you tired again," Zacks grinned, holding Cloud's sword out to him.

"…" Cloud quietly accepted it, though didn't move to get up. The other man confused him so much- Cloud couldn't read him. He was constantly being surprised by how nice he seemed to be- people just weren't like that. Not towards him anyway. Part of Cloud told himself to watch out and be on guard, that if he didn't he'd get himself in trouble or hurt, but another part, the part that let himself be held in the rain last night, just wanted to believe he could trust the dark-haired swordsman. But maybe, until he sorted himself out, he could be both. He could be guarded, sure, suspicious, fine, but he could try to be less distant and show Zacks he was appreciative of the other man's actions all the same.

Zacks quirked a brow at how Cloud seemed to stall and sat himself down, propping his chin on his hand. "What's up?"

"Well..." Cloud knew that Zacks had figured out he'd been working with Hojo- Aerith had explained that it was Zacks' concern that had lead to their discussion. He'd come to the conclusion that from now on he needed to be upfront with the older man, not only because he was concerned and deserved it, but because he'd be better to figure things out far quicker than Cloud could. That, and if there was trouble afoot, he wanted Zacks to know what to watch out for. "It's about Hojo, actually…."

"Oh…" Zacks trailed off, not quite sure whether this was a good or a bad thing.

"I know you figured out at some point that I've been training with him…"

"Yeah, that would be around when it started hurting you to cast lightening."

"…Yeah. Anyway," Cloud ignored the slight scolding tone the other man couldn't help keep out of his voice, "He's sort of…"

"Sort of…?" Zacks prompted.

"I think he has a hidden agenda. I mean, sometimes it just feels as though he gets serious as far as progress is concerned… Earlier today I got the impression I'm only seeing a small piece of the picture, and he wants to keep it that way."

"Hm." Zacks was quiet a minute, considering, "…Keep an eye on him." He looked Cloud in the eye. "I don't like you being anywhere near the rat, you know that- but if you're going to be near him anyway, keep your eye on him. I've never trusted him. Everything he does is for his own benefit, another calculation to get himself whatever the hell it is he wants. So, watch him. And watch yourself."

"…Yeah."

"…Right then. Play time!" He grabbed Cloud's arm with one hand, sword in the other, and dragged the boy out of the wagon, turning around once they were outside, "Oh, and Cloud?"

"Yeah…?"

"Thanks." He resisted the urge to give Cloud a peck on the cheek, and instead just flashed him a grin, satisfied with how it made the boy's cheeks turn a tinge pink.

They didn't get much farther as they continued on their way, however, before a concerned Miran appeared from behind another wagon, worry lacing his steel-blue eyes.

"Hey- have either of you seen Ras around?"

Zacks quirked a brow, "Gone missin' again?"

"I haven't seen him since this morning. I wish he would tell me what's up…"

"Don't tell me he's still not out of that distant faze yet…either something's gone funny in that head of his, or he's trying to hide a girl…"

"Pah, you're joking. If Ras had a girlfriend, he'd be bragging about her day and night- I'd never hear the end of it! Besides, who in their right mind would go for that idiot? He keeps drinking Dragon's breath the way he does and he'll finish himself off right quick, I say…"

Zacks waved Miran off as he stated ranting, "Alright, alright, no girl, you know him best. If I run into him I'll see if I can pry anything out of him."

"I wonder if I did something…" Miran trailed off as he turned back the way he came, shaking his head.

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The weather began feeling warmer and dryer as they traveled closer to Lavitia. Cloud had begun to discover the wonders of an afternoon nap. He'd found it was something to break up reading or practicing, and it left him with more energy for sparring with Zacks. The other man had taken the time to send a soaress to Sephiroth again- it still rattled Cloud a bit to hear Zacks talk about the other man in casual tones. Other than this, however, the next few days were fairly uneventful, despite a feel of hurried preparation for when they arrived at their destination. He supposed the warm weather from traveling south had a relaxing effect. It did on him, anyway, when he'd leave the cloth at the wagon's entrance pulled back, grab a pillow and curl up for a cat nap, bathed in the puddle of light.

He was woken up from one of these comfortable naps by the sudden lack of movement from the wagon, and noticed there were more sounds of hustle and bustle outside than usual. He threw a glance outside just as Zacks swung open the half gate, noticing the sun was already beginning to set.

"Hey, we're finally here!"

"We're in Lavitia?"

"Yep. C'mon," he started grabbing a few packs and threw one at Cloud, "Grab some stuff and let's go!"

As they left the wagon, Cloud took in his surroundings, the ground beneath his feet more dry and grainy than usual between the scattered tufts of grass. He looked over to see a large city wall, the tall towers of many buildings visible over its edge covered with ornate, golden décor.

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