Good morning, or at least it's still morning for me! Hope you all are doing great on this fantastic day. Happy May 4th! I am a Star Wars fan, shocking I know. It's all about those aliens (ahem Predators/Yautjas) that pull me towards those things.

Today had been long and beyond tiring. The minutes and hours dragged on at a pitiful pace. Neither of the twins had made a sound besides the humming of their spark.

Patience was a virtue for me. I could wait up in a tree for a whole week to kill something or someone. But when it came to waiting for the either of the twins to wake up, patience's wasn't on my side. It doesn't help with my worry drowning me. They weren't responding to me touching them. Their side of the connection was quiet, only worsening what I felt. My heart twisted painfully as I gazed at the two. Motionless and nearly silent besides the humming of their sparks. It hurt to see them like this, so unlike their normal personalities.

The day was soon to be over and nothing. Worry and fear bubbled in the pit of my stomach. How much longer did I have to wait?! Ratchet did say they were fine to a degree. The distance and time away had put a large amount of stress on their sparks. Ugh! I did this to them. Of course they wouldn't listen to me when I said it would've been better for me to leave.

…Did I want to leave? Back then, mostly. For good reason too, I knew none of these beings and people. Now though, I couldn't bring myself up to leave forever. Even if it meant them being safe. I'm a creature of destruction. I can protect them, with my life if it came down to that. They were mine; unless they didn't want that. Consent is key, even I knew that.

Then why didn't I have the same mindset for Zayden? He's m-ehm, he was my father. The father of Azar Dragna who was dead and in her place something she would've been afraid of. Heh, he probably won't accept me being in a relationship, let alone with two beings. I whined at the thought of him. This is for the best. These people are better equipped to handle Jasper. Were they though? They didn't know they existed until I came into their life. And threw it upside down. Like always.

This was different too. Zayden is blood, but these two felt important, on a different level. It was confusing, slightly. They were my soulmates/sparkmates. Zayden was Azar father… Did I feel more for the twins than Zayden? No, impossible. I would do anything for him-and the twins. Then why did I leave? If I would do anything for him, why was I here? To protect him. Was that true? If I felt the same about the twins, why don't I leave to protect them?

Something in my mind snarled and panicked. No! I wouldn't leave them, never. Over my cool, dead body. No one is touching them. No one is going to hurt them.

At least we'll be dealing with Jasper soon, probably within a week or so. William will get over me leaving so suddenly. I can't believe he had the balls to say I abandoned Anna. Yeah, I'll have som- the whirling of gears had me stopping in mid-thought.

Sunstreaker groaned deeply and brought his hand to the center of his chest. Was he feeling the same ache as I was? Strange clicks and whining sounds came from his mouth. I paid them little mind and tiredly stood on sore legs. They trembled under my weight but kept me upright.

My movement must have caught his attention. Said bot sat up as quickly as he could and stared down at me. Without wasting another second of gazing, Sunstreaker scooped me up and held me close to his spark.

A small shock ran up my spine and settled where the connection sat. It was nowhere as big as the first but still drew a yelp from me. The golden bot paused and realized his mistake before muttering an apology under his breath. I didn't say anything back and latched onto him like my life depended on it. Maybe it did. Our connection had its limitation which could cause all of us harm.

He held me even tighter and tucked his head into the crook of my neck. His sharp metal lips dug into my shoulder while his warm fanned over the expanse of my back. The ache lessened a considerable amount but it still made its presences known, loudly.

Neither of us said anything. Personally, I felt the quietness between spoke enough for me. Sunstreaker must have felt the same.

Noises behind me caught my attention. I only turned my head to see Ratchet pulling back the curtain. The tension in his shoulders seemed to ease at the sight of Sunstreaker. His gaze glided over to the red twin. Ratchet sighed faintly and returned his blue eyes on us. "What are you doing?! The buildup between the three of you is dangerously high." The medic froze for a moment before stepping forward to most likely take me away from Sunstreaker.

Said bot protectively held me closer and tucked me more under his chin. A soft growl rumbled the twin's chest and reverberated through my body. Ratchet only raised an eyebrow to question what he was doing.

When the medic didn't stand down, Sunstreaker upped his possessiveness; or at least tried. I returned the same noise in warning to stand down. He stilled then grumbled and loosened his hold but still held me close. An action I appreciated in this state of mind and body. "About that, Ratch… I already touched him before you checked up on me. That hurt like the dickens." I lowered my head, already knowing the anger he would feel; and possibly shouting that could occur.

Small flickers of fire alit in his eyes. His shoulders stiffened and his balled up into fists. "I swear once more, you humans. Always trying to kill yourself without even knowing it," he grumbled and preformed a scan over me. A shiver rand down the length of my spine to the tip of my tail.

"Is she okay?" Sunstreaker mumbled and shifted in his spot.

Ratchet snorted and rolled his eyes. "Mostly yes. All she needs is some rest and to stay around you two to help with the buildup. And, no more trips like this."

"I agree. We aren't going to let her out of sights," Sunstreaker agreed. I huffed and silently challenged his word. "You heard me, Azar. I couldn't give two slag's about myself but for you and Sides' health, you are staying near us."

At the mention of the red twin, my gaze found his still asleep frame. He's going to be okay, Ratch said so. "To a degree. I still get my fly time," I consented with a rule that was easy to accept.

Sunstreaker grunted and dipped his head back into the crook of my neck. I purred softly for him and could care less that Ratchet was still in here with us. "Sunstreaker, contact me when your brother online's. I want to make sure everything is okay between the three of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go deal with a cranky human." Immediately, I knew who he was talking about and glared daggers at Sunny's shoulder. The medic took his respected leave. Silence took his place, or as much as possible since this is a military base.

Neither of spoke, letting the quietness wash over us. His spark loudly hummed in my ear. Instead of it being a bothersome, the noise actually helped to calm my nerves. "We missed you," he stated and pressed his metallic lips into my shoulder.

A soft, barely noticeable smile graced my lips. "Me too… I'm not one for apologizing but-" his teeth dug into my shoulder and caused a yelp to escape me.

"Don't. We didn't know the outcome, now we do. And there won't be a next time. I'll make sure of it." He emphasize his words by holding me closer. I hmphed and rolled my eyes at his antics. He didn't need to bite me! He could've just used his words… but he's not for words though. Actions speak louder for him.

Good lord, he's so lucky he didn't hit a special spot. Stupid dragon genes.

"Alright, alright. I won't… but you didn't have to bite me," I complained and leaned back to stare in him the face, my fingers still buried partially under his shoulder plating. Fear raced through me for only a moment at the moment; a part of me afraid I was going to fully pull away from him. The blue of his robotic eyes were beyond anything I've ever seen. They surpassed beautiful or stunning. They were so much more than that, including the twins themselves.

Sunstreaker shrugged his shoulders carefully since my fingers had woven in between the cracks. The color of my scales had changed to nearly match his paint. Though mine had a few different variations of yellow and gold. Nonetheless, I was content and happy to be in his embrace; and the color of my scales reflected that.

To be in his grasp for this long and close felt strange. Neither of us was complaining. I definitely wasn't. It felt right and it did help ease the continuing ache in my chest. That wasn't the main point though, just an added bonus. But that didn't stop the overwhelming fear swirling inside of me. It was a small part of that was afraid of them leaving or this connection going to kill and rip them away from me. I've been through enough.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't completely relax. The foul and dangerous thoughts popping up in my mind prevented that. Sides could never wake up again. Or Sunny could fall back into that coma-like state and stay like forever. My breath hitched at the horrible thoughts; and those were two simpler ones. I always over think things, it was in my nature to do that. Think of every terrible situation possible, even if they only had a point three percent chance of occurring. If it could, my brain would account to it to the situation.

Tears began to build up. I felt so vulnerable at that moment; so open that a single tap could break me like glass. It was the connection making me this way. Ready to collapse and hope for my pieces to pick the pieces back up.

With no hope insight.

Sides wasn't waking up; and the longer he lied motionless and almost completely due to the hum, the worse I felt. To the point that I was clenching every muscle so tight that it disturbed my bruised ribs. I wheezed out a breath, unable to stop the noise.

Sunstreaker froze for a moment, mesh muscles tense before easing his hold on. For a quick moment, my brain suddenly freaked out with irrational thinking. I held on even tighter to his form, terrified he was completely letting me go; my breaths still high pitched. "It's alright, Azar. What's wrong?" his normally deep voice was softer, fitting the atmosphere.

My breath eased slightly at his words. He returned his tighter hold on me once more. The tension in my shoulders loosened. "N-nothing," I got out to brush off the turmoil raging on inside of me like a hurricane.

"Azar. Tell me." His voice had hardened, the opposite of what he sounded like less than ten seconds ago. I shrunken away from him, not afraid but nervous to tell him the problem. It wasn't like me speak or voice what was troubling. I kept that to myself, since it was, originally, myself for most of my life. Sunstreaker didn't let me go though. His hold tightened to make it hard to move. He pressed his forehead against mine.

Bright blue eyes stared deep into my silver ones. Their fierce emotions boiled inside of them. I had nowhere to run, nowhere to turn. The mech had trapped me, backed me into a corner. "I'm worried about Sides," I whispered finally, giving into his strength. My weakened stated aided him, instead of me. But I didn't tell him the full truth, not ready to say it all.

He sighed and slightly loosened his hold, eyes closing. Our connection swirled with comfort that he supplied to me. "He's going to be fine… I feel it in my spark." None of the things he did or said to me eased any of that sharp concern inside of me; and he felt this and did something about it, to the best of his abilities.

The golden mech lied back down with me still on his chest after some time. I moved where my hands to a better and safer spot and noted how pale they looked. They also felt stiff from holding on so tightly. Hopefully I didn't scratch or damage his paint in anyway. Or else he'll have a fit. I may care for the mech but dear gods, he's so uptight about the way he looks.

His spark hummed louder than usual, feeling like the noise surrounded me completely. It drowned out a lot of the sounds outside, besides his twin's own spark. At the thought of Sides, my mood dropped even more. My eyes glided over to find him still motionless. Sunstreaker didn't let me stare for long and pinched my jaw between two of three fingers. Then he forcefully turned my head to face him once more.

"I promise you, he's alright. There's nothing to worry about." I accidently furrowed my brows as a spike of anger raced through me. With everything that has occurred, I felt like I had the right to worry; especially about both of them. Even if Sunstreaker already woke up.

"I feel like that's unfair to say. After everything that has happened over the course of a day with you two conked out, I have the right to worry. I don't care if you say he's going to be okay. That doesn't help ease my concern for him. He's still not awake… and I can't feel him. He's not doing his normal things with the connection." Sunstreaker froze, eyes dimming for a second before sighing. He relaxed his body, letting his head thunk against the metal cot.

It was quiet, and for a moment, I thought he had passed out. But his bright blue, shinning eyes contradicted that thought. "I'm not good with words, Azar. I don't know how to tell you he's going to be okay and have you believe me. But yes, you're right. You have a right worry. I'm just trying to help in a way that I'm not used to," he said, sounding defeated.

Guilt bubbled inside of me. I tried to lower my head but his hand didn't let me go and held me there. Sunstreaker picked his head back up and returned his gaze on my face. Comfort flowed from him, weakly and faint. Nonetheless, I still felt it.

I shifted my gaze to the side and placed a hand on his chest. Yet, the mech wasn't letting me get away that easily. "Look at me." I didn't. "Azar." The way he said my name sent a shiver down my spine, wings trembling slightly. I continued to defy him. "Look. At. Me. Azar." He emphasized every word by pulling my face closer to his; to the point I could feel the air he exhaled fan across my face.

This time around, there wasn't anything to do but listen; no way of escape without causing injury to either of us. He had backed me once more into a corner and forced me to come into the light. Our eyes met, his emotions less wild in them then before. I felt like a deer in headlights, unsure on what to do. Like he said, he wasn't good with words or how to make me feel better with them.

His hold slackened before his finger slid down my throat, gently touched my chest, then completely fell away. He left a burning path behind. I chased after his hand and wrapped my own around it. Sunstreaker tensed up for just a hot second then gave me full control of the limb. I brought it up to my lips and lightly kissed the tip of his pointer finger, testing.

Nothing on his face gave away any discomfort and disgust of my actions. I shifted to my knees and pulled the limb to rest against my chest. This forced his other hand to move to the base of my tail. The singular organ thumped to pump vital blood.

A soft shock zipped through my body to where the palm of his touched. I gasped sharply and slapped my hand down on his chest to stabilize myself. Everything tingled lightly, as if the all the limbs had fallen asleep and were just waking up. Another shiver raked my body as I stayed on my knees.

Sunstreaker moved his hand timidly to my neck, the three fingers moving around it. His slow movements gave me more than enough time to pull away if need be, if I wasn't okay. Thankfully so, because I slipped out of the hold and shook my head, refusing to meet his gaze. Having something wrapped around it wasn't anything that I could easily allow. One wrong move or too tight of a grasp, snap goes that vital part of me.

He completely respected and held out his hand for me to take. I eyed it for a moment then placed my own in it. Sunstreaker's grasp was soft as he pulled me closer, over the ledge of his chest. He stopped me there and pressed his surprisingly warm metal lips against the underside of my fingers. My claws prevented him from mirroring exactly what I did.

Neither of us said a word, our eyes softly staring into each other. Nothing needed to be. Sunstreaker wasn't one for words, but man, does he know how to express his feelings and distract me.

I gingerly reached out and traced my fingers along the large piece of metal that frames and covers his cheek. Sunstreaker made no move to stop, letting me do what I wanted to, and let his whole body relax under my touch.

It wasn't long before my eyelids became heavy. Today's events and strenuous amount of emotions fiercely swirling inside of me for so long had exhausted me. Sunstreaker could see this, the look in his eyes told me so. With gentle hands, he maneuvered me to curl up partially under his chin.

I peacefully slipped into sleep, feeling safe and without worry…

It would've been better to stay awake.

Zayden's house and secret base sat still in front of me. Quiet and content, yet there was an underlining tone of unease here. It put me on guard ready for something to attack. How was I here? I was… I was… where? The twins! Why was I here then?

And where was everyone? Zayden wouldn't leave his only last place of safety behind. Specially since it was the only building I knew of. Since he expects me to be back, he wouldn't abandon it.

An incoherent whisper echoed next my ear as if someone was standing right next to me. I whipped to face the speaker and was met with the fields surrounding the building.

There wasn't even sign of wildlife. No birds, no coyotes, no rabbits. Where was everyone? Where was Dad? Or Jacob? Or, even though she's not in good graces with me, Mia? I didn't want to stand outside like a fool and made my way timidly into the house.

On the outside, it seemed like any normal farm out in the middle of nowhere. That was only a fools thought. Underneath wasn't just dirt and rock. No, it had nine massive layers used to handle up to twenty-thousand soldiers and many, many vehicles. Now, only one sometimes two of the underground layers were used. The first meant for vehicles.

The garage attached to the house was the main exit and entrance. That's where the vehicles used for battle or transport left. But no sounds came from the medium sized garage. Though, to normal humans, they wouldn't be able to hear the chatter or steps unlike me.

Worry grew in the pit of my stomach. This wasn't real, I caught onto that. Yet, it wasn't a nightmare. So why was I here? To see what happens after my d-Zayden's passing? Would I out live them? Or was this my death? To look at what my life use to be before I left?

Even inside the house, it was untouched. Like no one lived there for years but someone cleaned it every day. I walked up the stairs to the main floor and glanced around to find anything. Luck wasn't on my side, why would it.

Another whisper sounded to my left this time, frightening me nearly out of my scales. This time, I was able to tell who said it: Zayden. But it wasn't really Zayden. He was at the real home in Bend, Oregon. With Jacob and Mia, probably searching for me after losing contact with me.

Right. That. Mia double crossed me and let them know where I was. Then Jacob found me with Sides and Sunstreaker. He also tried to capture me, like Jasper would do. I wished they would leave me alone.

It's for their own good… But here I was! With two alien robots who are my soul mates, in a sense. It was different. Was it? It had to be. There was a reason. I care so much for Zayden that I put distance between us for his safety.

So if I really do care about Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. What am I doing here? I stated it myself that I would protect them. Then why don't I have the same mindset for Zayden. He's my-fuck it! Was, from now on. It's 'was'. Azar is dead. His daughter is dead. Gone. Yet, he thinks he needs me since I'm all that's left of her.

To everyone against me, I'm a dangerous, deadly creature. I cause fear in those who just look at me. So, if I was a true monster, then why I do I think I can protect the twins but not Zayden?

What was the difference? I care about both, nearly equally… Wait, I do? No, that's-that's… They showed me. They showed me a monster can love and can be loved. That's the difference. That's why I want to protect the twins by being by their side.

Does-does that make me a bad person? Zayden was my father. And the twins are beings I only met a few months back. One of them I did save, painfully.

I glanced around the house once more in question. "What am I doing?" The scene started to slowly fade out. I wasn't afraid or concerned and welcomed me leaving this place. It wasn't a nightmare but it sure felt like one.

The connection pulled harshly and drew a soft cry from my lips. I curled into a ball and held a fist to the center of my chest. It still ached, horribly.

My surroundings came to me. The Med. Bay with both the twins. Sunstreaker, I was cuddling with him. Then why was the connection hurting worse than before. I opened my eyes and silently thanked for the darker light. By the looks of it, the day was soon to end.

Sunstreaker's hand gently covering my torso, bottom, and half of my thighs. His grasp slightly tightened. I heard the sounds of his head moving and glanced over to see his eyes on me. We stared, neither of us saying a word. Both of us aren't fans of talking. Actions speak louder than words. You can say whatever you want but you have to show me that you mean it.

A whine escaped me as the room swirled. Not now. Not in front of him, or Ratchet if he's still in here. I closed my eyes and scrunched up my nose in protest.

Nausea washed over me. I tried to shake my head to get rid of it but Sunstreaker's chest got in the way of my horns. "What's wrong?" his voice rumbled in my ear.

"Nothing, I-I-," some noise to the left saved me from speaking. Our gazes snapped over to the sound. It was Sides moving! I stumbled to at least get to my knees and barely was able to. "Sides!" Desperation controlled my actions. Yet, someone stopped me from getting too far.

Sunstreaker easily scooped me in his hands and sat up. Both of us stare impatiently for the red bot to fully come back to the land of the living.

His movements were sluggish as he sat up and held a hand up to his head. The somewhat same sounds that Sunstreaker made before came from as he shook the last of the sleep from his body. He paused in his movements for only a moment then his eyes shot over to us.

Without waiting any longer, he scrambled to the side of Sunstreaker's bed. "Azar! You're okay!" he cried out and reached to grab me. His brother intercepted him by grabbing Sides wrist and shaking his head. Sides was completely startled by the yellow bot's action. "What was that for?!"

"You can't touch her, yet. Remember the energy buildup. Ratchet says it's dangerously high." The mech peered down at me with a knowing look. I bowed my head in shame, understanding he was silently talking about me touching me.

Sides's shoulders deflated. "Oh," he changed his gaze to met mine, "are you okay? You were in pain, I could at least tell that much with the bond being so… distant." I understood what he meant. It was painful to be that far from him. And not going straight to them felt like I was defying my natural instinct. Guess what, by doing that, it lead us into trouble and agony. How could I be so stupid?

I cleared my throat after releasing we were just staring at each other for a few silent moments. "Yeah, mostly. It… it still hurts but I know what you mean. I didn't like. One bit."

The both of them laughed and nodded their heads. "Neither did we. I'm still piss they didn't let us get back." Sides turned his head to look Sunstreaker. "Prowl knows, right? He should at least being second in command. Optimus knows and of course Ratchet."

"I think everybot knows. Mirage doesn't know how to keep his flappers closed." I couldn't help the snort at the yellow bot's words and totally agreed with him. The tin can thinks I can't hear what he says under breath but he's completely wrong.

This reminded me of Jazz. By the looks of it, he hasn't said a word about me falling off of the light pole. Right, I still need to talk to Ratch about that. It did happen less than five minutes ago. Whatever it was nearly got me in seriously trouble at our last battle. Hopefully William has already found more or is at least is planning on attacking the other one.

Gods, that man is very strange. But after knowing him for a few months, it's best to let him rant and get it out of his system. If only he knew. Of course we can't tell him though! More obstacles to climb over. "What am I going to do?" I mumbled, barely coherent to my own ears.

Sides hummed in question and leaned down to get close. Strangely enough, I could intensely feel the electricity in the air between us. Awkwardly, red blotted my purple scales, including my cheeks. "N-no-nothing, just talking with myself." He slowly nodded his head like he knew what I was talking about.

"Sure, sure. Were you talking about my handsome self?" Sides returned to his full height and flexed his 'muscles' or equivalent of that for a robotic being. I recoiled at his words before burst out laughing and fell on my side. My muscles still ached and refused to hold me up any longer.

The mech smiled brightly and flexed some more. "See, Sunny. This is how you pick up the femmes." Pink mixed in with the crimson red with blotches of yellow.

"You couldn't pick up any femmes or mechs on Cyberton and you know that… I had to do all the heavy lifting too," he played along and picked at his brother. Sides gasped dramatically and placed a hand over his chest, acting offended.

"As if, they all knew I was prettier twin too! Right, Azar? You know it's the truth," he dragged me into the playful argument. I rolled my eyes and moved onto my back to stare up at the ceiling. "Come on, you know it." Sides tried poked at my side and caused me recoil at the near touch.

I half-heartily bared my canines at him. Yet, the mech never learns. He attempted once more to wiggle the finger against my side once more. This time though, I sent a quick line of fire up his arm, making sure it did no harm to him or his paint.

In shock and surprise, he snatched his limb and checked over for damage. "You play dirty," he teasingly stated. I smirked and only shifted slightly in my position without caring what he did next.

"That's how you win," I stated and blew a plump of smoke at him. The three of us paused, not saying a word. "Are you okay, Sides? Heh, I should be asking the both of you… I'm sorry-" Sunstreaker's hand moved to carefully press against my lips.

"No apologizing. We're fine. And you're fine. That's all that matters." Internally, I knew he was right but I still felt bad for the pain I caused them. I didn't say anything more and snuggled up into his chest, savoring the sound.

Sides placed his elbows on the metal slab and leaned on them. He held his face close to mine once more. His eyes pierced mine. I saw in his eyes he wanted to scoop me up and hold me close. Yet, we couldn't, not yet at least.

My chest still ached. It wasn't safe enough to touch Sides though until Ratchet gives us the okay. I desperately wanted to cuddle with him. It would help with the pain. And it was also nice to be with them, nonetheless.