You Can't Start a Fire Without a Spark
Part One
…one month later
Drake stood outside the bathroom door at seven o'clock in the morning. He was slouched and
ready to bang his tired fist on the door. His bare feet were freezing on the floor. Audrey was
supposed to go Target and buy a runner, but forgot. Drake knew he shouldn't be angry as his
mother worked damn hard to keep her remaining family together—but he hated the fact that he
couldn't get into the bathroom and that his feet were super cold. Even though his family was never
wealthy by any means he still missed those creature comforts.
Was it wrong to think this way?
"Come on, Dina," Drake banged on the door, "What are you doing in there?"
Dina was in the middle of finishing her mascara application. One coat of black on the top lashes and
thanks to the dual wand a coat of blue for the bottom ones.
"Finishing my face."
Why was he acting so grouchy? You didn't hear her complain when what she knew was going to
happen did when she was woken up a five thirty (five thirty!) to a random guitar solo.
Today was not a good day for Dina Nichols. She didn't feel like bringing it up to anyone. But she
was going to go to San Diego State today to listen to a guest speaker talk about transgender issues.
Then at sundown there was going to be a candlelight vigil for Justin/Sophia Danzinger who was a
transgendered student who was murdered a month ago for only wanting to be herself. Those things
broke Dina's heart…she realized while she lost a lot, her life, thankfully was spared. The taunts in
school were nothing compared Sophia Danzinger being kidnapped, raped, and murdered.
Dina tried to put it all into perspective. While Drake came a long way, he really didn't fully
understand the transgender community.
No one in the family really did.
Dina finished putting on her strawberry wine lipgloss and opened the bathroom door.
"Finally!" Drake said
"And a good morning to you." Dina walked away.
She absolutely could not deal with DrakeAngst today.
"Is Drake in the bathroom?" Megan asked. She looked so vulnerable in a black oversized hoodie
and gray sleeping pants. She didn't look so tough in this light.
"Yeah. And he's grouchy today." Dina added
"What else is new?"
"Do you want me to make you pancakes?"
"What am I three? I can get my own breakfast."
Was it contagious?
Sure life was different for the whole family now, but why were both Drake and Megan acting like
something crawled up their collective asses? At least Mom was great. Exhausted—but still great.
And today was her half day off and Dina wanted her to sleep-in. Audrey deserved as much.
Dina decided that instead of making breakfast that she would rather treat herself to a mocha latte at
Starbucks.
It was at that moment when she was half way out the door that she realized she didn't even check to
see if Mindy left a voice mail on her cell phone. It was time to come to terms with that as well.
A few hours later Dina couldn't help but leave the lecture hall with half a notebook full from Dr.
Simone Wesley's lecture.
"If you don't me asking," asked a meek female figure, she looked no more than thirteen years old,
"Why did you feel the need to take such extensive notes?"
"I don't mind—I'm Dina Nichols."
"Karen Gold."
Dina walked closer to where she was sitting, while the majority of people had gone down to the
lower level to have a faux one-on-one with Wesley.
It was as if they had the rest of the auditorium all to themselves.
"I'm on a Yahoogroup and I like to write—so between those two things is why I took such detailed
notes."
"You're post-op aren't you, Miss Nichols?"
"There's no need to be so formal, Karen. Yeah. It took a very long time to get here."
"Are you happy?"
"Other than losing my father to his ignorance I'm pretty much happy. Why don't you tell me about
yourself?"
"I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Dina. I just need to talk to someone or I'm going to explode. I
hope I'm not bothering you." The poor woman was on the verge of tears.
"No. You're not."
Karen felt lost with the legality being on the Kevin part of her persona that she wanted flushed away
along with all parts of her body that weren't female. She also lived with her born again Christian
Grandmother who said she was going to Hell for wanting to mess with "God's Plan". She revealed
that apart from starting hormones and getting her top surgery completed she wasn't sure if she
should go all the way with the rest of the surgery due to the families' lack of money.
"I know it seems odd considering I'm over 18," Wow. Dina was embarrassed for thinking she was
younger, "but my Mom doesn't want me to work endlessly just to get to my goal."
"Do you want a piece of gum?" Dina offered her a piece of pineapple and orange gum because
Drake took all out of the strawberry banana out from the pack when he said he only wanted to
borrow an ink pen when they went to the mall last week.
"Thanks. My throat is dry. I finally mastered the voice DVD's."
"My Grammy purchased those for me, among other things. I know I've only known you for ten
minutes Karen; but if you want my advice you need to
finish the surgery. You'll feel so much better. I know I wouldn't want to take off my clothes at night
and see the male anatomy. It would have me reaching for the Ben & Jerry's and watching all my
Oprah tapes for comfort. You know it's expensive and insurance covers nothing. Make a
compromise with your Mom that you won't overwork yourself. When I did my Real Life Test—I
hated how I looked in my new panties even if no one else could see."
"I know," she looked down, "I hate that too. You're pretty awesome, Dina."
"Thanks," Dina smiled, "You're awesome, too, Karen. Are you coming to the vigil tonight for
Sophia?"
"I wasn't going too, but I think I will."
"That's good. We need to show ourselves to the world and not hide from anyone."
And that included not hiding from bigoted fathers.
"I'm not ready for everyone to hear me roar."
"You'll get there. Do you want to grab some lunch? My treat."
"Dina, you're so kind. I don't---"
"It's just lunch. You need to eat."
"Do you have any siblings?" Karen was afraid to move from her sitting position.
"Yep. They're technically my step siblings, but I don't view them that way. I have a brother named
Drake who is my age and a younger sister named Megan. Come on, we can talk more at the
restaurant."
"I hate that my clothes aren't designer like yours."
"Designer?" Dina laughed, "This dress came from Old Navy."
It was just a simple black tank dress mixed with Audrey's dark pink shrug sweater.
Karen stood up feeling better talking to this Dina person.
"I'm glad I met you."
"Same here. Might I recommend the mint tea at Juliet's?"
That was a nice little private restaurant that Dina liked to go to. It seemed that no one knew about it
except a few regulars who passed it on through word of mouth.
"Of course. I could use it. That sounds lovely. I take it those aren't Michael Kors wedges?"
"Nope. Payless. Although, there's a jacket from D&G that I keep hoping will show up at a flea
market."
"I could learn a lot from you Dina Nichols."
Karen brushed her hand against her's as they left the auditorium. Dina didn't know what to feel. She
was a sweetheart and it was great to make new friends especially those that were in the transgender
community. But, you couldn't start a fire without a spark and Dina knew that.
"I'm sorry that my button came undone." Karen said to a helpful Dina who carried the pocket
stitcher that Audrey purchased for her at a yard sale.
They were the only ones in the women's restroom outside of the lecture hall.
"There. Good as new," Dina took the liberty of putting up Karen's white collar, "You should get
one of those chunky wooden necklaces…."
"You have the most amazing eyes, Dina."
It didn't matter who started it. Their arms went around each other and the kissing began.
"Can we go back to your place?" Karen whispered in Dina's shoulder when they were finished.
This wasn't a need. It was out of a neediness on both their parts.
Neither one of them wanted to hurt the other, but they desired to ease their collective loneliness.
Drake was probably out for the day. Megan was at school. And Audrey was now at work. Why
not?
"Sure."
"I hope you don't think I'm a whore—I've only had sex once in my whole life."
"Ssh," Dina put her index finger on Karen's lips, "It's all right."
There were no sparks and Dina still didn't know what to feel. One thing was for certain she knew
her relationship with Mindy Crenshaw was officially over.
Author's Note: To be continued…