You Can't Start a Fire Without a Spark
Part Two
…After
And now I'm alone.
Dina was holding on to her pillow. Almost wishing that Drake would come through the door, guitar
case in hand, bragging about some conquest (a trait which Dina normally despised) or moping about
how "terrible" his life was. Karen went to use the bathroom and that seemed like hours ago. They
didn't make love. She didn't want to because of in her own shaky words "not being a complete
woman" and Dina didn't want to because it was never about sex with her. It was about making love.
It was like when she tried explaining in one of her high school essays to Hafer years ago about the
distinction between having a job, something you don't want to do versus a career, something that
you love getting up out of bed to do each day. Karen was a nice person and Dina hoped they would
have a lasting friendship. But friends came and went for both Josh and Dina Nichols. Sometimes, it
wasn't over a vase breaking against the fireplace wall moment. Sometimes, you have to really get to
know someone inside and out to realize you're only just strangers in the end with no foundation
other than satisfying a needy behavior pattern.
There was that something else. Something else that meant Dina was going to have to EXPLAIN
things at the dinner table once more. Audrey would be supportive; Megan ambivalent, and Drake
would just use it for some uncharacteristic self-loathing. Dina was the angsty one of this family and
God forbid she get to breakdown so she could fully heal.
Dina heard the door open and quickly gave into the reflex to close her "amazing eyes".
"I'm sorry, I took so long. I looked into the mirror and cried seeing my naked body."
Dina opened up her eyes. She couldn't not throw a life preserver to her new friend.
"Come here," Where she was a few minutes before with her head in Dina's bosom crying and
hugging. "It'll be okay, Karen." Dina kissed her on the head.
Yeah, she didn't feel anything romantic for this person. No sparks.
Just friendship. And you couldn't go to bed with all of your friends.
"I feel so safe with you. And we just met."
"I know," Dina stroked her chin, "It's going to be all right. I promise." Dina got out of bed and
Karen hated that cold voided feeling of their bodies separating.
"What are you doing?"
"We didn't get to go out for lunch. So, I'll make us something really quick. In the meantime, I want
you to borrow this."
Dina handed Karen a metal box. It used to contain some travel sized beauty products.
"Oh! I love this line---"
"No. Inside this box is your tranny—I normally hate that term, but I want you to smile so—
anyway—Inside this box is your tranny survival kit of phone numbers and other assorted lifelines. I
also want you to start saying affirmations to the mirror each night before you go to sleep. I hope I'm
not going too fast…"
"No, Dina. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. That's a divine robe. Where did you get it?"
It was an ivory floor length silk robe with a blue and green peacock on the back.
"My Grammy. She spoils me rotten, but I just love it too. It reminds me of something an old movie
starlet would wear. Do you like eggs?"
"Scrambled."
"I'll be back in a flash."
There was no kiss goodbye, because Dina didn't have those feelings for Karen. She hoped her new
friend realized that.
Eggs in the pan
"Hey, Dina, bye Dina…" Came the whirlwind Drake through the backdoor and almost out of the
small kitchenette.
"Dr—Drake!" She had to stop him from going upstairs. "Come here." She grabbed him by the arm
to pull him back in.
"What's up?"
"Don't you want any eggs? You never turn down food when someone else is cooking it."
"Nah. I'm not hungry."
"Why don't you keep me company?" She was almost tempted to take them out of the frying pan
half-done, but she hated runny eggs.
"I'm sorry I was grouchy this morning, Sis."
As much as Dina wanted to expand on this conversation she knew this was not the time or place to
have this discussion about Drake's emotional state.
"It's okay…."
"I just want to crash. I'm so wrecked." He started to leave again.
"Drake! Wait!"
He turned around smiling at first and then he revealed the disappointed look he's been sporting
lately. Drake thought he knew exactly what was going on.
"Oh? Is Mindy up there? In OUR room?"
"No! Mindy is NOT up there."
And Dina bit her tongue from expanding on the "our room" for "my room" code.
"Then I'm going upstairs…."
"You CAN'T!"
"Why not?"
"Because there IS someone up there. There are you happy?" She slammed the spatula in the frying
pan. But due to it being plastic it didn't make the crashing noise she wanted it to. And Dina still was
a fan of doing things for emphasis. "It's just not Mindy."
"What? Do you have a guy up there?" Drake's face twisted with disgust and Dina couldn't help but
to slap him across it.
"Drake Parker! You insensitive jerk!"
Dina was torn between storming upstairs to her room or finishing the eggs. If she had left this would
have been the second meal that she would have denied Karen today.
"Me! I'm out of here!"
"Good!" Dina batted her eyes to stop the tears from flowing.
Too late without even forcing it the tears flowed out of her, like they always did. Dina and her
brother made such great progress.
Why was he determined to ruin it?
She should have known Drake Parker would go back to what he was best at—thinking about
number one: himself.
And now I'm alone.
…To be continued
To Midie: I was inspired by Bruce Springsteen's song.
And Mo: I hear you on the usual DrakeAngst stories.
Mine does have a purpose as you'll soon find out…