"Lex smells funny."
"Stuff your cracker!"
"No, no. Lex smells funny."
"These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise."
"Come *on*. Lex smells funny."
"Ding dong!"
"Clark, what are you doing?"
Clark straightened up and spun around. The parrot tilted its head and sidled flirtatiously up and down the perch. "Oh, hi, Lex. Nothing, just trying to get him to say my name." He'd done better casual before.
Lex smirked and Clark, to try to give at least some credence to the fiction, bent his head back over the cage and repeated, "Clark. Claaaark. Come on, you can say it. Clark."
"Ding dong!"
"Don't look at me, you're the one who offered to parrot-sit," Lex's smirk widened. They'd moved into a small apartment just outside downtown Metropolis, and Clark had somewhat over-reacted when he heard what sounded like a strangled cry from the next-door apartment, where an elderly lady lived. On hearing the cry repeated but no other response to his shout, and alarmed that the door was unlocked, he'd charged in. It was only a few moments later that she returned from the laundry room and shrieked, seeing an unfamiliar young man emerge, wild-eyed, from her bedroom. The shriek brought Lex charging in, and there were several minutes of confusion, during which, of course, the parrot was silent and, Clark later swore, smirking just like Lex.
When the confusion was settled, she'd fussed over them both, stuffing Clark full of home-made brownies and Lex slightly less full of tequila, and introduced herself as Ella Clark, a retired second-grade teacher. Clark had since returned daily for more grandmotherly spoiling and teasing and, when she went to visit a town where her geneaology hobby had found a distant relation lived, had offered to let Leviathan, her parrot, stay with him and Lex. So far, his attempts to get the parrot to say anything really interesting had failed. He was beginning to think it was personal.
***
Two weeks later, there was a knock at their door. Clark opened it to find a red-haired woman smiling at him. "Are you Clark or Alex?"
"I'm Clark."
"Martha Kent."
She held out her hand and he shook it. "Uh, would you like to come in?" He rather hoped she wouldn't, since he and Lex hadn't exactly been obsessive about housekeeping.
"No, I don't want to bother you, I just wanted to say hello. Ella's been telling me all about her handsome neighbors--she and I just found out we're distant cousins, and I came up to visit her while I was in the city, and thought I'd say hello. It's good to know she has such good neighbors." Lex came out of the bathroom where he'd been showering, wrapped in a towel, but before he could manage a strategic retreat at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, she looked at him, looked again, and exclaimed, "Lex?"
"Stuff your cracker!"
"No, no. Lex smells funny."
"These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise."
"Come *on*. Lex smells funny."
"Ding dong!"
"Clark, what are you doing?"
Clark straightened up and spun around. The parrot tilted its head and sidled flirtatiously up and down the perch. "Oh, hi, Lex. Nothing, just trying to get him to say my name." He'd done better casual before.
Lex smirked and Clark, to try to give at least some credence to the fiction, bent his head back over the cage and repeated, "Clark. Claaaark. Come on, you can say it. Clark."
"Ding dong!"
"Don't look at me, you're the one who offered to parrot-sit," Lex's smirk widened. They'd moved into a small apartment just outside downtown Metropolis, and Clark had somewhat over-reacted when he heard what sounded like a strangled cry from the next-door apartment, where an elderly lady lived. On hearing the cry repeated but no other response to his shout, and alarmed that the door was unlocked, he'd charged in. It was only a few moments later that she returned from the laundry room and shrieked, seeing an unfamiliar young man emerge, wild-eyed, from her bedroom. The shriek brought Lex charging in, and there were several minutes of confusion, during which, of course, the parrot was silent and, Clark later swore, smirking just like Lex.
When the confusion was settled, she'd fussed over them both, stuffing Clark full of home-made brownies and Lex slightly less full of tequila, and introduced herself as Ella Clark, a retired second-grade teacher. Clark had since returned daily for more grandmotherly spoiling and teasing and, when she went to visit a town where her geneaology hobby had found a distant relation lived, had offered to let Leviathan, her parrot, stay with him and Lex. So far, his attempts to get the parrot to say anything really interesting had failed. He was beginning to think it was personal.
***
Two weeks later, there was a knock at their door. Clark opened it to find a red-haired woman smiling at him. "Are you Clark or Alex?"
"I'm Clark."
"Martha Kent."
She held out her hand and he shook it. "Uh, would you like to come in?" He rather hoped she wouldn't, since he and Lex hadn't exactly been obsessive about housekeeping.
"No, I don't want to bother you, I just wanted to say hello. Ella's been telling me all about her handsome neighbors--she and I just found out we're distant cousins, and I came up to visit her while I was in the city, and thought I'd say hello. It's good to know she has such good neighbors." Lex came out of the bathroom where he'd been showering, wrapped in a towel, but before he could manage a strategic retreat at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, she looked at him, looked again, and exclaimed, "Lex?"