Guilty
…some time later
Drake Parker really wasn't exaggerating when he exclaimed once during his adolescence that he did
not know how to work a stove. Megan said to just open the microwave oatmeal, but Drake thought
it best to actually try to make it from scratch and even though he was watching over the stove this
whole time the pot overflowed and Mr. Quaker Oats spilled everywhere.
Dina couldn't bring herself out of bed and hardly ate anything. That's why Drake was trying to fix
her some homemade oatmeal.
She needed to keep her strength up.
"I knew that Karen chick was demented." Megan said not offering to help Drake clean up but rather
sit at the table and check her cell phone messages.
"You know not everyone who is trans---"
"Wow. Aren't you the one to hand out little life lessons? Considering Mom sent your ignorant ass
away."
"Megan!"
Drake was the one that had to tell Dina that the police arrested Karen for not only raping and
murdering Stephanie, but killing her Mom as well. There was to be no funeral for Stephanie because
her father was an ignorant prick. There was only a small service for her Mother and Dina was too
heart sick to go.
"Sorry, Drake, but the reality is—you aren't one to talk. Killing starts with ignorance. Similar to the
ignorance of you and Walter."
Drake refused to comment as he used about one hundred sheets of Bounty paper towels to clean up
the oatmeal mess. He didn't need to prove himself to his pretend tough sister.
Drake held Dina as she cried herself to sleep. That's when he found himself downstairs a few hours
later trying to make her breakfast. At least he could pour the boiling water in the cup and pop a tea
bag in.
Dina opened up one tired eye when Drake thought he was trying to be quiet when he set a food tray
down on the dresser.
"Did I wake you?"
"No." she lied
"Dina, you need to eat, so I made you oatmeal. I'm sorry that the sides of the bowl are crusty. I
kind of had a little accident on the stove."
"Drake—I'm not hungry."
"You haven't eaten much. At least have the tea, I put lemon in it."
Dina took the mug out of a polite courtesy but she wasn't thirsty either.
"Thanks. Drake get my phone off the table."
"Who do you want to call?"
He half expected a "none of your business" but was surprised that she actually told him, "Miss
Mason. I'm quitting my volunteer work."
"Dina! You can't do that…"
"I can do whatever the Hell I feel like doing Drake. Just leave me alone."
Dina was friends with Karen. She brought that evil into Stephanie's young and short life. She was
always going to feel guilty about her role in all this.
"Well, fine!" Drake still had her phone in his hands, "But if you want stay in bed and feel sorry for
yourself. I'm putting this phone in the bathroom so you'll have to get up to get it. So there."
"Go to Hell." She really didn't mean that, but he always knew how to push her buttons. Sometimes
she wanted to wring his neck. He could be such an irritant.
Drake let her go on. She just needed to verbally lash out at someone and he was the one who
happened to be in the room at the time.
Dina took one sip of the tea—how much lemon juice did he put in the cup? The whole bottle? She
placed it back on the table and went back to hide in her haven of safe blankets.
A few hours laterAudrey got Dina to eat some chicken broth and the reason why Dina was able to eat it was because
no lecture was attached. She also took that rock hard oatmeal away.
There was a knock on the door. She really was in no mood to talk to Drake. She needed her space.
"Drake, leave me alone."
"It's not Drake," he opened the door a crack, "It's me Tommy. May I come in?"
At that moment Dina didn't care about her appearance. She nervously put her strands of hair behind
her ear.
"Sure."
"Drake said I could come up to say 'hello'. I'm sorry to hear about your friend."
If Drake told Tommy that she was a trans female she was going to go downstairs and kick him in the
guitar case. The whole point of transitioning was to pass in society not to have a sign around your
neck advertising your previous life.
"It's okay. It's not your fault. What did Drake say?"
"Only that someone you knew was killed by someone you also knew."
Oh that was an almost a worse way to describe it.
"I'm afraid I'm not up for a visit. I'm exhausted."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to keep saying that Tommy. I do appreciate that you stopped by."
"I hope you feel better soon, Dina." He wanted to kiss her on the cheek, but didn't think it was
appropriate.
"Thank you."
And that was it. The one time they get to talk and it was like THIS big rock was on top of her
crushing her spirit. But if she told Tommy everything she would have to risk telling him
EVERYTHING that she was born Joshua Nichols. That's not what she wanted to do if she could
help it. But she knew she had to get off her ass and go in the bathroom to get her phone from
wherever Drake put it and take a shower.
She had to call Miss Mason to let her know she'd be returning back to volunteer in two weeks.
An hour later
"Tommy left?" Dina asked Drake who was sitting on the couch flipping through the pages of a music
magazine.
"Yeah. You came downstairs."
"I can't stay up there forever." She sat next to him.
"I'm glad."
"I'm sorry I told you to go to Hell. I didn't mean that."
"I know you didn't Dina."
"You'll be happy to know I called Miss Mason to let her know when I'll be returning to the mentor
program."
"That's good. You're very good at helping people."
"Drake---"
"Yeah?"
"There never seems to be a right time to ask you what your problem was…."
"Oh that." He did the quoting gestures with his hands
"Yeah---do you want to talk about anything?"
"I'm sorry—I just can't adjust as quickly as you might like. And it might seem like I backtracked,
but I---can we just drop this? It's too hard to talk about."
"Of course."
"Just know that I never mean it when I act like a jackass and I apologize."
Dina really wanted to know what in the heck was on her brother's mind, but she chose not to
push it since he in typical closed Drake Parker fashion wanted the matter dropped.
"Hug me, brother?"
Hugs from Drake always made Dina feel better.
"Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"
"What's tomorrow night?"
"T-Rod and I are going to Club 627 and check out one of the bands there. Do you want to join
us?"
Dina thought of Stephanie's bright optimistic about the future smile and responded with the only
words that she could.
"Yes. Yes, I do."