The color drained from Emma's face and she could feel Sean's body get tense next to her.
"Manny, what are you doing here?"
"You have a boyfriend, what are you doing here?" Manny called.
"You have a boyfriend?" Sean asked, turning his attention away from Manny and focusing on Emma's pale face.
"Sean I.. I was going to tell you."
"When? After I made a complete idiot of myself." Sean stood up from the dock and slipped back into his shoes.
"Sean I.." Emma wanted to explain, but there didn't seem to be anything she could say that would matter right now. She was torn between two. When she was with Peter, she wanted him.When she was with Sean, she wanted him.
"Thanks for the encouragement, Manny." Sean said sarcastically, walking past her on the sand.
"Sean, I told you to tell Emma how you felt about her, I didn't tell you to make out with her."
"Have you ever spilled your heart out to someone? Do you know how hard it is to just leave the one person who you love above all others? Do you -"
"Yes I do and Yes I have!" Manny said angrily. She thought of Craig being in Vancouver and at that instant she realized how hard it must be for Sean, and she realized what she had encouraged him to do. "I'm not blaming you for anything, but Emma - Emma you should have known better."
"Thanks, mom." Emma said, storming past Manny and back through the pathways in the woods. She could hear Sean and Manny walking slowly behind her, their footsteps were quiet, showing that they were still a few feet behind them. She could hear them talking about her and this didn't bother her one bit. Emma knew she had messed up, and if anything, she would love to go back and repeat that mistake. As horrible as it was, and has horrible as she felt, she didn't want to go home. Not yet.
"So what's his name?" Sean asked when they had reached the party again.
"Peter."
"So.. what's he like?"
"He's nice."
"Oh come on, Emma. Now you're not going to talk to me?"
She couldn't. Not now. Her body ached with both regret and the longing to be able to just hug and kiss Sean like before. Never in a million years did she think that seeing this one boy again would bring back so many emotions. And never in a million years did she think that she would act on impulse like she did and kiss Sean even though she had a boyfriend. Emma was anything but a cheater. Her mind was lost in thought and her voice box felt as if it was never going to work again. She coughed.
"That's all I get, a cough?"
"Sean, what do you expect me to say?" Emma yelled. "I have a boyfriend, yes, and I feel horrible."
"How do you think I feel?" Sean was yelling now, but his voice was shaking. "I just told you I was in love with you and not only did you leave me hanging, you have a boyfriend. You always were a tease."
Emma's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"
"It's the truth Emma, and everyone sees it but you."
"You know what, I need to go." She rolled her eyes at Sean and bit her lip; she felt as if she was going to cry. "Manny, can we go please?"
Manny nodded and slowly followed her friend back to the car. Sean ran after the two of them and stuck his arm in the driver side doorway before Emma could close it.
"What Sean?"
"Is this goodbye?"
"I guess so. Good luck with the whole car thing." Emma was so overwhelmed and wanted nothing more than to get away from the party. She needed time to think because at the moment, she didn't know what she wanted. "Will you please move your arm. I need to shut my door."
Sean was hesitant for a moment before removing his arm. He stood there watching as Emma backed away from him and started driving down the road. There was nothing he could do but watch her drive, he didn't care if he looked ridiculous standing in the middle of the street, but his legs felt like they were cemented into the ground.
Once they got back to their site, Emma went straight to sleep. Aside from the fact that she already felt guilty enough, she didn't want to talk to Manny about anything that happened with Sean. Emma knew she had a lot of thinking to do and these guilty feelings were only the beginning. There was no reason to get Manny involved and make it worse.
"I want to leave tonight." Emma said climbing out of their tent the following morning to see Manny drinking coffee. "Where did you get that?"
Manny handed her bedhead friend a container of coffee and smiled, "Down the road. You won't believe who I ran into either."
"Don't tell me Sean works at a coffee shop now. Then he'd be like the perfect working man."
" Ha, funny. No, he doesn't. He stopped inside for a bagel and we talked for a minute. No biggie."
"I can't believe you took my car without asking me." Emma narrowed her eyes at Manny and shook her head. She took a sip of her coffee and spattered. "Manny, this is disgusting!"
Manny laughed hysterically.
Emma managed a smile. "Anyway, what did you and Sean talk about?"
"Nothing really." Manny took a sip of her coffee and sat down at the picnic table; Emma followed. "He just told me how glad he was to see you, and how sorry he was for taking things too far. Em, I told him to talk to you about how he felt. I didn't know he was going to kiss you."
"He told me he was in love with me." Emma stared forward and sighed, "Manny, Sean Cameron, the boy who never showed any emotions or spoke his mind told me he was in love with me."
"You're not in love with him are you?" Manny asked curiously.
Emma shook her head and looked at Manny with surprised eyes, "No! I'm with Peter. If I was in love with Sean, I wouldn't have let him leave."
The truth is, she had no control over Sean leaving. She wasn't his girlfriend at the time and they were barely even talking when he made his decision. Sean wouldn't have listened to her anyway because it was all him wanting to stay in Wasaga Beach. He thought it was better for him, which it probably was. When Sean decided something that was it. He wouldn't change his mind for anyone.
"Well Em, I hate to play the role of Dr. Phil, but it sounds to me like there's something there. There's still feelings for Sean in your heart."
"Manny, I know that. I just - I just want to leave before I do something even more stupid than what I've already done. If we go back to Toronto now, I won't feel so bad about Sean because I'll be with Peter. And gradually I can just let Sean go because I doubt we'll see him again for a long time. Maybe even never."
"But we just got here. What would you tell Spike? And Snake? They don't expect us back for another two days."
"Just tell them I got sick or something. It's not like they don't worry about me enough as it is."
By noon the two girls had finished packing and were on their way back to Toronto. Neither Manny or Emma had much to say; Manny was upset because Emma wanted to leave, and Emma was upset with what she had gotten herself into. She felt like such an idiot for leading Sean on like that, although, she was guilty of having feelings for him still. It wasn't all his fault. And not only that, but she ruined the weekend for her best friend.
She didn't want to leave on this note. She wasn't going to just desert Sean without saying a real goodbye, or apologzing. Emma just wouldn't have that, she never would.
Quickly, she turned off the road they were currently on and drove down a side road until they reached the same gas station they had seen Sean at the previous day. "Manny, we need to make a quick stop."
"You're going to talk to Sean?"
"Just for a minute." Emma got out of the car and stood with her hand on the top of the door, "I want to apologize before we go."
She shut the door and walked over to the car garage where a tall, grey haired man was sitting in a wooden chair. He was polishing a piece of metal with a greasy washcloth and looked up, startled, when Emma walked up to him.
"May I help you, miss?"
Emma cleared her throat. "I'm looking for Sean Cameron. Is he here by any chance?"
The man shook his head and frowned. "No, I'm sorry ma'am. He called in, said he wouldn't be in today. Can I take a message?"
"Um.. can you just tell him Emma stopped by?"
"Will do."
"Thanks."
The man waved and Emma walked back to the car, disappointed. Her stomach twisted with guilt, but she knew she had to just forget about Sean. It wasn't her fault she couldn't talk to him right now. It wasn't her fault she couldn't apologize. Maybe Sean would get the message that she stopped by and try and call her. She could only hope. Hopefully Sean wasn't too mad at her. Even though she was extremely happy with Peter, and even though Sean still had that little place in her heart she wasn't going to just let things go like this. Even if all they were going to be in the future was friends she would be happy. Friend Sean is better than no Sean.